newbie questions

Hi, please pardon my naivete...I have a couple of questions about going to a strip club, and I've only been to a strip club once, many years ago.

My wife and I (she's a younger-looking 58 years old) are in Miami and are looking at going to Tootsie's Cabaret tomorrow night. She's pretty shy, but I'm sure she'll want to get a lap dance. She's had one once before--it was a very basic dance. I'd like to treat her to something special, where the dancer is a lot more hands-on....in my ideal world, the dancer would give her an orgasm by kissing her, playing with her breasts and genitals, etc., in a private room. Is that something we can request at the club, and if so, how does that work exactly, and what is a typical cost? Very sorry if these are very obvious questions...this is where my complete ignorance and naivete is on full display :( We're both quite shy and nervous about doing anything like this.

24 comments

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  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    Tootsies is kinda cutthroat and couples often don't do well there, especially inexperienced ones.

    Couples tend to usually do better ib more upscale clubs - Deans Gold in North Miami or Solid Gold in Pompano are probably better-options.

    Room fee at Deans is about $150 + a $20-tip to the bouncer - minimum a Deans girl wants is $400 and they often quote $500 - I'd assume you'd have to pay around $500 since it'll be the 2 of you (you/wife) in VIP.

    I'm not as familiar with Solid Gold but it'll be similar and maybe slightly cheaper since it's not as established as Deans.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    FYI many of the dancers in South FL clubs are non English speaking Cubans - you may wanna practice with the Google Translate App ahead of time
  • loper
    5 years ago
    I think you're being too specific for a strip club. Usually you have to find a balance between what you want and what a specific stripper is willing (or skilled) to do. My understanding of brothels or freelance hookers is that you can request a specific service -- whether it is done well could be hit or miss. Of course someone from Miami might be able to lead you to a stripper who could help you, but you shouldn't just go into a club and ask the bouncer for what you want.
  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    Hey, thanks very much--this is great info. $150 plus $20 plus $400-$500 is a bit more than we were looking at spending :) What would $150-$200 get us?

    Also, when you say Tootsie's is "cutthroat", can you explain what that means?
  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    To loper--yes, sorry--I guess my question is more generally about "how far things typically go" at a strip club in terms of lap dances, rather than asking about where we could have a dancer do specific things.
  • Nidan111
    5 years ago
    @sensitivity. The “mileage” that you get at a strip Club literally depends on the club. I am not familiar with the FA market (that is Papi’s realm), but in the St Louis Market, you can get whatever you desire for $200 at the right club.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    $150 to $200 won't get you much beyond a few two-way touching lap-dances especially for a couple.

    Diamond Dolls in Pompano VIP going rate is $225 but it's in a small dance booth which would be cramped for 3 people and I'm not even sure they would allow 3 people in them and you would probably have to pony up for their champagne room (~$100 plus staff tip) and the girl would want around $300 - Cheetah Pomapno is another option cheaper than Deans but with room fee you're looking at min $300 - being a couple often makes it harder.

    Diamond Dolls is also not too good a fit for couples - Cheetah Pompano is a bit better.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    Cutthroat means dancers try to pressure/rush custies into spending and will often try to overcharge custies they smell are inexperienced
  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    Thanks Papi...okay, so I guess in that case we're going to dial down our expectations and just do the two-way-touching lap dance for her :) I appreciate the tips on the other clubs, but I think just as a tourist thing to do, Tootsie's would probably be more up my wife's alley than the other places. My understanding (please correct me if I'm wrong) is that a regular lap dance at Tootsies is $20, and you can get one in a "private room" for $25...? Is that right? If so, and we do the $25 dance thing, is $5 an appropriate tip?
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    Tootsies lap-dances are $25 in a communal dance-area with dance stations just separated by dividers - so a bit of privacy but not much and unlikely it'll involve more than just touching - anything more the girls will want a room to do and the VIP hustle/sales-pitch at Tootsies is aggressive and often relentless - Tootsies has a bit of a national rep and is thus a bit of a tourist-trap bc it gets a fair amount of out-of-town visitors and these are often targeted by the more aggressive dancers which is typical of Tootsies.

    Also - not uncommon in many clubs for couples to be charged 2x/dance.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    The dancers at Tootsies seem more money-hungry than many of the other clubs and IMO the mileage/service from the dancers is not as good bc many are just focused on getting that big VIP $$$.

    Tootsies is a fun club bc it's big and has a bit of a nightclub vibe - the main stage is large and on a busy night there can be about 5 girls rail-side up close and personal and fully-nude so it's a fun experience in that sense - the club also has a decent kitchen but on a busy night it can take a while for the food so if planning on eating and it's busy best to not wait to order exactly when you feel you wanna eat (order about 30-minutes b/f you plan to eat if the club is busy).

    FYI:

    + it's strip club etiquette to tip every dancer a couple of bucks if you're sitting stage-side (there is a cashier station in the back left of the main-stage if one wants change)

    + don't be surprised if dancers don't approach you - couples often have this issue in many clubs especially at Tootsies - you may have to be proactive and approach dancers you may be interested in but again many won't be fluent in English.
  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    Got it...thanks so much for the info!! I really appreciate it. Wish us luck :)
  • EastCoaster
    5 years ago
    zensitivity, regarding Papi's last comment: "+ don't be surprised if dancers don't approach you - couples often have this issue in many clubs especially at Tootsies - you may have to be proactive and approach dancers you may be interested in..."

    I know you said your wife is shy, but in my (somewhat limited) experience with this, you may have your best luck by having her ask for dances, not you. When the guy asks, sometimes the dancers wonder if the wife or girlfriend is really down for this or is being dragged into it. In your case, it definitely sounds like this is not the case, but the best way to signal the dancers that this is what the wife wants is to have the wife ask.
  • Hank Moody
    5 years ago
    Don’t use your credit card or the ATM. If you’re planning to spend $200, bring $400 and try not to walk out with empty pockets. Drinks and tips add up quickly and the girls and other staff oftentimes “don’t have change” if you are using big bills so that the tips get rounded up.
  • 623
    5 years ago
    zensitivity, regarding Papi's last comment: "+ don't be surprised if dancers don't approach you - couples often have this issue in many clubs especially at Tootsies - you may have to be proactive and approach dancers you may be interested in..."

    While everyone is different I thought you might like to hear what works for us at a new club/city. If we are at our usual haunts we usually have girls approach pretty freely since they know we are more regular.

    In a new club the girls are unsure of the couple dynamics they are getting into, some dancers just are not into women or they are busy hunting low hanging fruit. Plus we have heard several stories of dancers being attacked by civvies in clubs. Don’t go on a busy night, Thursday’s can be good but Wednesday or Sunday can be fine too. Go early and be prepared to stay for several hours, get a table off to one side where conversations could happen. If you want girls to approach after being there an hour or so, have your SO go to the bathroom, you’ll be approached right away. Alternately you can go for a few minutes and she may be hit on by a dancer while alone. This might depend on what she is wearing and how good she looks, slutty but not full on stripper clothes is what we found works best. If you do have to go fetch the girl, make sure your wife picks who you will approach. Then plan to visit for several minutes, maybe ask her to join the two of you for a drink, then you be quiet and let the two of them build a bit of rapport. When it comes time for dances she will let you know if this is the chosen dancer and honestly, depending on the club and your level of comfort (plus your willingness to drop lots of cash) dances on the floor can be just as sexy and depending on the dancer and the club they can go just as far. Remember first that attitude is super important, both hers and yours.

  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    Thanks 628, good info as well. When you say "ask her to join the two of you for a drink", does that mean we are expected to buy the dancer a drink as well if she says "sure"?
  • twentyfive
    5 years ago
    ^ that sounds about right duh
  • 623
    5 years ago
    Yes. Buying them a drink you are essentially buying 20 min of get-to-know-you time. If the three of you don’t click it’s way cheaper than buying a dance.
  • 623
    5 years ago
    Make sure you remember to report back how you make out.
  • rickthelion
    5 years ago
    A little rickvice: always remember to grease the bouncers and stroke the managers. Or vice versa. Your choice.
  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    Thanks for your advice, everybody. We went to Tootsie's tonight, and after all that, it was a bit anti-climatic. We sat a bit away from the main stage, then closer in (just off the rail). I was waiting for my wife to let me know if there was a girl who caught her fancy, but she wasn't "feeling" any of them--except for one girl, who came off the stage to start doing the rounds at the rail, but then I think she got called upstairs to the 2nd floor VIP area, and we never saw her again. None of the girls came over to talk to us except once to take our drink orders (I wasn't sure by the way--these girls who were "waitressing" never went on stage and seemed to be "just waitressing", not dancing--if my wife had fancied one of them, could we have asked her for a lap dance, or is it sort of verboten/gauche to ask a waitress for a dance?) Anyway, after about two hours, with none of the girls striking my wife's fancy, and none of them coming over, we decided to leave. My wife went into the bathroom for a moment--while I was waiting at the bathroom entrance, one of the dancers came over about 20 seconds later and touched my shoulder and asked where I was from :) As was predicted earlier in this thread.

    Anyway, my wife had fun, so that's all that mattered. Incidentally, on a side note, I understand the club wanting some pumping music, but it was REALLY loud. So loud we could barely hear the waitress even with her talking into my ear from a foot away. They could've dialed the music down just a LITTLE bit and it still would've been quite loud and pumping, yet allowed people to hear themselves think.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    Strip clubs are kinda a different animal - particularly for a female and an inexperienced one at that - strip-clubs, particularly large-ones, can be a bit overwhelming and kinda-impersonal for the uninitiated and again particularly for women - and why my original suggestion for a more laidback kinda club like Deans or Solid Gold - previous reports (threads/reviews) of couples visiting Tootsies they have not had too-good a time.
    (Nightshifts are also typically harder to get proper customer service in popular clubs)

    As a couple, you would need to find a more laidback type of club - and once you find a suitable club, becoming regulars is often the best way to get good service as a couple (often also applies to dudes that go by themselves) - as I mentioned previously, couples often have a hard time at many clubs (it's not something particular to you).

    Thanks for reporting back.
  • Papi_Chulo
    5 years ago
    Also - there are no written rules to strip-clubbing (it's more of an art than a science, per se) - it often takes a while to learn to get the most out of them and which clubs are worth it (are a good fit) and which aren't and best to avoid
  • zensitivity
    5 years ago
    Yep--it was an educational experience for sure. It was definitely fun though, and now we've seen the deal and will know better for next time :) Thanks again for all your help!
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