Seeking Arrangement

Much the same is true from the other side. Girls who think looking pretty is worth a several hundred, or thousand, dollar a month allowance. Unable to parse a simple English sentence. Barely able to construct one of their own (speaking of "unoriginal, desperate gibberish"). Blatantly posting for "online only" arrangements when the site's rules prohibit soliciting for such.

I stopped contributing when they declined to update my profile with a single sentence added: "If your bio contains multiple grammatical, pluralization, and spelling errors, I might not give full credence to any claims of 'educated'."

Seems that doesn't conform to their terms of use...

Hi Waffle can respond to GIANTCOCKASAURUS that’s me, shirtless/mullet/holding beer/mowing lawn pic. I offered $38 dollars for the all nighter, no cover. Thanks.

After Backpage's demise, I know a lot of the $150 and less prostitutes went on to SA. 🙄

I'm going to try updating my profile to say I'm looking for an arrangement and not short meetings or something. The site prohibits pay per meet. And I honestly think a lot of girls who claim to get $1,000+ per month from someone on that site are lying. While it is possible, those are the Daddies met in person at clubs - not on a sugar daddy site. Those girls give false illusions of reality, while the pay per meet girls and "Daddies" ruin the site for everyone else. 😔

@Muddy but my minimum for that service is $39.99 and I don't give deals. Maybe you can borrow $1.99 from a friend? 😊

@waffle, I met a SB on there who was legit; very interested in financially-secure older men, and we landed on a fun and reasonable long-term arrangement. She was long distance and we went strong for several months, but it has sputtered recently.

I went back and forth with another SB who was seemed legit, and she was gorgeous, but my schedule didn't work with hers.

It took several weeks to filter out the bogus profiles. I probably got 60 messages from women that might have been real. And filtered down to three seemingly legit SBs. And one worked out, as I mentioned. But she was very into sexy older men (by her definition), and so that was purely serendipitous for me.

I've gotten a few messages from across the country. I don't know how to deal with those. I don't understand the idea behind a long distance SD/SB relationship. Perhaps you can help me understand better and if I should even respond?

When you first sign up as a SB you're going to get a TON of worthless messages. The bottom feeder guys and guys looking for girls that are super desperate like to message new girls. That will die down in a week or so.

Past that if your profile isn't complete it's also part of the reason you aren't getting good responses. You have to put some work into it and gave good pics and text.

The messages from "across the country" are, more likely than not, fake, scammers.

@muddy, i will float you a loan for $2. That leaves a little for an extra tip. Just the tip. . @waffle, the further the distance, the less likely to Run into someone who knows you. Planes are very efficient at going from city to city in a flash.

Regarding SA .... i just look at the pictures.

@waffle. Hmm, it was long distance within the state ("middle distance" (?)). We could get together driving, but it took some effort and it got more difficult in time. It was fun and sexy for the first six months. That's my experience with distance relationships generally; the distance builds tension and release until it becomes too difficult.

If I try seeking again (probably will), then I would focus on local SBs (within the same metro area). Meet for coffee; test chemistry; discuss mutual objectives. I suppose that a long-distance SD could satisfy that formula, if he travels to your city frequently and you can easily meet for coffee. Keep it easy, my two cents.

I learned a lot if you want to message me with any questions. Although of course, my perspective is the inverse of yours (older guy/SD). Good luck if you pursue it!

As with most websites including TUSCL, the old "it needs to be taken with a grain of salt" applies.

The internet allows people to hide behind a screen - one should assume there is a lot of BS on SA and not be surprised or taken-aback - every Tom Dick and Harry that makes $40k/yr and drives a 2006 Camry is thinking/hoping he's gonna have a "10" hanging from his arm via SA - some of them are fakers, some are dreamers, and some are just stupid - likewise every Tammy Daisy and Harriet thinks she's gonna be driving a new BMW, yachting on 100-million-dollar yachts; and traveling the world in private-jets, by just being arm-candy for some old rich guy even if they (SB) are just a chubby '6'.

@papi - it's not quite that crazy on the sugar daddy side since guys have to pay $100 a month.

^ Lol, but it’s not like any girl gets any commission on that. That kind of reminds me of the time a customer made it a point to point out his car keys to me...and when I had an “oh that’s nice” attitude, he went out of his way to tell me it was his Tesla. And thought I should be swooning trying to be his sugar baby.

Um, no dude, unless I’m going to be given the car title why should I care? I only got $60 off you so bye.

^^^Well next time I'll let you drive it around the block, happy?

@spice

Maybe he was thinking his environmentalism would impress you

The part that makes me laugh the hardest is the sense of entitlement that is given off like an aura by so many of these girls that work so hard at being pretentious. My few attempts at using the site left me with the impression that very few of these females had any idea of how to actually please a wealthy guy, most that I met thought I should be impressed with them, it was pretty sad.

-->"The site should be called "Seeking a Cheap Hookup" because all of the Salt Daddies on there aren't looking for an actual arrangement, just weekly hookups. So far, not a fan of SA. I haven't replied to a single message yet, and not sure if I even want to bother."

Waffles, SA takes effort. A low-effort toe-in-the-water is not going to yield what you want. As you have noticed, and we've seen mentioned by many tuscl members, if what you're looking for is cheap hookups, or to run your escort business on SA, that is actually pretty easy. But finding an arrangement is not easy.

As Paul correctly pointed out, your first few weeks you will be inundated with scammers and bottom-feeding johns. While that will die down a bit in 2-3 weeks, it never goes away

In the meantime, you have virtually no chance of getting an actual arrangement with just one photo (unless it is fucking amazing) or a 60% complete profile. On top of that, if you are even accidentally giving off any stripper-type hustle vibes, you're not going to get actual SDs messaging you.

This isn't a place where you can be successful with low effort, unless you basically hit the lottery on luck. My advice is, either put in some real effort if you're actually interested in an arrangement, or the site is probably not a good use of your time, toe-dipping doesn't work. There are gorgeous amazing SBs on the site, who are experienced and know exactly what SDs want, and even THEY say it takes weeks to find a good arrangement.

I'm planning to finish the profile today before work. Also going to upload a few more photos. My issue has been coming up with something witty and unique for the headline and little bio thing.

I also laugh that every guy has their net worth and annual income set incredibly high.

I know a lot of women might be impressed by material objects, but flashy toys and financial bragging are turn offs. A lot of club customers brag about their toys (and dicks) to the point of where I pay no attention and don't give them the swooning they're seeking.

Anyway, I've been studying how to finesse better and my patience and tolerance for bullshit fairs well, so I'll finish this profile and see what happens. 🤷

lol... don't expect miracles, the scammers and johns are still there. But right now, with your half-finished profile, one pic, and still being now, you are ONLY getting scammers and johns. There are some things that scare off experienced SDs, that a new SB sometimes accidentally indicates; a profile review with people you trust can completely change your results.

The flashy toys and financial bragging should set off at least small alarm bells -- many times they're used by guys trying to get you so starry-eyed that you fuck them for free, other times by guys who are insanely insecure. I used to expect that a stripper, who lives and breathes in the world of hustle, would see through that shit instantly, but I've been surprised how many times strippers go on SA and get the living fuck hustled out of them by some SD-hustler type putting up a facade.

@Waffle when I filled out the SA profile a few years ago I intentionally posted the lowest levels available, and found it very high and if the truth be told any woman that has questions about my net worth isn’t one whom I might have a real interest in, the level of pretentious behavior that is inherently promoted on site is truly ridiculous.

Looking through my phone... All of my pictures are of me at work or professional photoshoots to promote a club or MFC. 😂😂😂 Fuck.

I have to take "clothed" pictures because I don't want to give off the Tinder or Backpage impression.

Your pics should be mostly clothed if you’re looking to meet an individual with the means to treat you to a taste of the good life, one thing that I can tell you from experience is guys in my position don’t want to be in a compromising position so you should be as reasonable and level acting not give of a vibe of a street girl, I like to deal with a woman that is a lady in public when we get to know and trust one another then is the time to get loose not until.

-->"Looking through my phone... All of my pictures are of me at work or professional photoshoots to promote a club or MFC. 😂😂😂 Fuck. "

Time to start a "You Know You're A Stripper When..." thread in The Dressing Room 😂

Dressed, but at least one or two with form-fitting clothes that show your shape. Get a good read on your bodytype by SA standards -- many SDs filter out Curvy and above, because curvy on SA usually means chubby, and it gets worse from there. So lots of women who are curvy in the real world, are more like average or athletic on SA. IF you can honestly pick slim, athletic, or average, the number of SDs interested will go up by an order of magnitude

Duh, just checked your pics, you're slim. Carry on.

@Waffle, I'll go one further than Subraman. If you have only one pic and a half, or less, finished profile, many of the experienced SD types will likely consider you the scammer.

In my first days on SA, I clicked on a few of those, and sometimes even when I didn't favorite or send a message, I got messages from them. All but one of about a couple dozen such ended up being a scam or pic collector.

I can only imagine that it's far, far worse from your side.

Leave politics out of my thread. Thank you.

Images... Don't go nuts on filters/effects, etc. Get some casual (not staged) shots, especially if you're using studio shots as well. Have at least one shot that shows your whole body. No duck face; don't stick your tongue out.

The tags "NSA" and "FWB" tend to imply escorting. If you're going to use them, then fully explain your goals / limits in your profile.

Write a complete but not super long profile copy. Edit it down as much as possible.

Waffle there are gents on there that are the more reliable/exclusive type but it takes much more filtering. I suspect the 80/20 rule applies here where 20% are more serious types. You will get bombarded with lowball, fake, creepy, scam messages that you just need to wade through and block that crap but there are real deals.

20%? That's positive thinking! lol ... totally agree, but it's more like 90/10. It takes some patience. The SBs have some real horror stories, but it can work out to be really fun

^^^That is probably unfortunately true.

Oh btw some of us gents have our own horror stories to tell...like the crazy girl who broke down in tears on our first date because she wanted to marry me 😳

Two reactions: A friend had been spending 10’s of thousands on OTC with strippers. On SA the second luncheon meet he met a 34 year old widow with two teenagers. She owned her home and worked a 9 to 5 job which paid the bills. He now gives her $3000 per month. Their agreement is for dinner & sex 5 times per month and an occasional movie, play, or other activity. She has a weekday off so they meet at her house those days and he has an unoccupied apartment above his office or a hotel. He loves it. He’s about 6 months into it and says I’m a fool to keep playing the strip club game. She said up front no anal and everything else is okay. 2. On his recommendation I went on SA. For the first week all seemed to be pretty far away. I finally found one whose pictures looked good and I said I’d pick her up for dinner.She had clearly gained 75 lbs. since the photos, asked if we could skip dinner, go to my place and fuck. I’m not interested in tub 𝙄𝙍𝙎 but she offered BBBJCIM for which I’m a sucker. $200 and she swallowed. A week later she called me asking if we could do the same. I declined and she offered $150. No thanks. Some good ; some not so good.

gawker: yeah, par for the course.

To really be clear: SA is a fucking mess. Go read any of the forums, and you'll find an boatload of complaints about scammers, manipulators, catfishers, escorts, women that are way heavier than their pics, that makes the occasional complaint on tuscl about dance miscounting or ROB behavior seem rare by comparison. I mean, the talk is non-stop about how SA is horrible but still better than all the other sugar sites, how miserable everyone is on it, etc. PLs have to deal with constant hustle and other nonsense, but my sense is, PLs tend to shuck this off easier.

It's possible to find a great arrangement with an awesome smoking hot chick -- if it weren't, I wouldn't be spending time on it. You just have to slog through a lot of shit. I think it's a bit easier if you're using SA like bottom-rung backpage, lots and lots of escorts, they're easy to find, but you'll get bait-and-switched, and have safety concerns, more often

I've received a lot of private messages regarding this thread and haven't been able to keep up with the comments due to an unexpected death in my family and also being around my family and not wanting them to be nosy with what I'm doing on my phone. But thank you for all the great advice everyone... It will be put to use.

I'm sorry for your loss.

Expected loss is hard. I had one recently.

I'm sure unexpected is worse. I am sorry.

@Waffle, sorry to hear of your loss. Take care.

I'm back. Thanks everyone. I do have a question regarding the original topic here. What would your guys's advice be in telling these gentlemen about my work? I was communicating with one potential SD (he offered a $5,000 a month allowance which seemed too good to be true to be honest), but he stopped texting with me once he found out I'm a dancer. I'm not sure if the general consensus on SA is that guys would prefer somebody to be in the industry or not.

I'm not an SAer but I would assume it's best to follow the rules of Fight Club - most guys are not necessarily into strip clubs nor dating strippers unless perhaps it's someone looking to just get laid and nothing more - saying one works in the sex biz usually doesn't play well in most circles.

As a former/future SAer. I would keep things honest. SA is non-traditional; in the best case, that means that both parties can be completely authentic about what they want/need and anything else. For a medium- to long-term arrangement, you will form an emotional bond. You don't want that to be based on fabrications about anything in your life. Particularly something as important as work. I suspect that what, maybe half the guys may be turned off or less interested; and the balance may be turned on or more interested. Good luck

@Waffle - One of the common scams is a guy will offer a crazy high amount. Then when you show up to the meet and greet he will whip out a 10 page contract and let you know he will be depositing the cash in your bank. Then you fuck him a few times until you realize that he is never going to pay you.

In your case the scammer realizes that since you are a stripper you are not going to fall for his scam.

As far as telling SDs you are a stripper I wouldn't recommend totally lying about it. Maybe list a few jobs you have done and then throw stripper in the list? Some guys will be turned off by it but some others will be drawn to it.

Interesting. Thanks guys.

I sort of felt like it might be a scam. He told me he's in my area for a day every week and flies from Portland. The crazy offer in allowance and flying to my area for one day every week was really bizarre to me.

The very first line in his initial PM was something like "I'm inexperienced Daddy and have had long-term arrangements. I will offer an allowance of $5,000 a month, but I need you to answer three questions from me." 🙄

It was annoying.

I usually am like "Hey I'm Muddy how are you" or something like that. The handful of girls I've met up with were like "dude your the only one who spoke to me normal" They seem to run into a lot of "Meet me in an hour at the Motel 6 room for $150 bucks" I usually do that in the second line not the first, you see I have manners.

Waffle: What were the three questions?

"Chris844 35, Washington, District of Columbia, about 8 days ago Hi! I can offer $5000 per month.

I really love your profile.

I re-joined SA recently, and I'm not sure it's for me anymore. Everyone here is kind of creepy now...but you seem normal...fingers crossed lol :)

It’s like everyone here is looking to have me pay for sex, and that's not why I'm here at all. Like I said in my bio, sure intimacy is important, but there has to be genuine connection and chemistry. I hope that's what you're looking for, too.

I would usually blow this money at the Venetian, but I feel a lot better helping someone achieve her goals. What are yours? So I have three questions for you:

1. Do you consider yourself to be an adventurous person? If we were to go on a vacation together, where would you take us?

2. I can tell a lot about a woman by how she dresses. Describe your style. What would you wear on our first date?

3. Do you believe you’re a good kisser? Kissing, to me at least, is a lost art, and people move on to other stuff too fast. How would you kiss me if I let you?

I'm going to delete this app soon because it always crashes on me, and I'm getting way too many messages, but I would love to keep talking to you :)

202-xxx-xxxx

I visit _________ every week, so let’s meet up soon :)

Hope to hear from you."

The whole message with # and location redacted. I message him because I immediately thought it was a scam, but wanted the experience of this to build on for future interactions.

I’m always skeptical I don’t do well on sites like SA

The guy sounds like a psycho to me. Could have been a SJH alias.

SJG

I imagine him to be extremely demanding. He did text me a photo from Miami that looked way too professional to be a cell phone picture.

When someone gives a bad/off vibe it's usually best to go with that intuition and not be tempted by the offer/$$$ bc good chance it may not be worth it (assuming the offer is legit - it may just be BS to reel in an unsuspecting/hopeful girl)

With a multiple choice test the rule is to always go with your first instinct. It applies here as well.

^ Nicespice I will give you the keys to my car. 74 Ford Pinto. Just be careful with it your feet might go through the rusty floor. lol

I asked the girls in the hidden Facebook group for/by strippers what they thought. Everyone there advised me to always lie about what I do for work. Most said to go with the bartender or waitress angle to explain the hours and nights I work. I have experience bartending, so I'll go with that. My only concern is if I'm ever asked for a photo of my in my "uniform". It's unlikely and probably just me overlooking a possible dilemma though. 🤷 Anyway, apparently I bartend now. 😉

*of me

Waffle, across a few SD forums I've read, SDs have a very negative view of strippers as SBs -- tales of emotional rollercoasters, epic level flakiness, and most especially feeling like they're getting hustled constantly (vs the SB experience). This is exactly what PLs say also, but PLs are equipped to deal with both the ups and downs of stereotypical strippers, but SDs absolutely won't tolerate it.

I definitely wouldn't lie -- nothing good will come of that when you're eventually caught. But don't advertise it, and don't admit it super soon.

Of course those are SDs who write on sugar forums; they might be as different from your average SD, as tuscl PLs are from your random SC customer

Dancer's advice to other dancers..... always lie. Lmfao!

I dont honestly think it matters if you say you're a dancer or not. If you're looking to just get that first date and then wow him with your beauty..... say whatever you want!

If you're looking for a long term sd... why not start with the truth?

I've had MOSTLY good experiences with SA. I ventured that route after limited success in otc.

One BAD experience though.

You’re going on a Sugar Daddy site. What are you hoping for/expecting? Richard Gere in Pretty Woman?

How long does the average sugar “relationship” last? If it’s six months or less, I’d guess the truth wouldn’t really matter.

@musterd21 😍😍

*And by truth not mattering, I mean feel free to pathologically lie about whatever you want. 😝

There are so many things on SA that are VERY subjective.

"Long term" might mean something different to me than it does a 24 year old girl that's moved 3 times in the past year, and in the same sentence describes her inability to pay her massive student loan debts while still thinking it's ok to snort coke in the bathroom on weekends.

And dont even get me started on thin vs athletic vs average vs curvy.

Waffle, have you done a Google reverse image search on that "suspicious picture"? It'd be interesting to see where else it has appeared!

@blahblahblah23,

My sugar arrangements over the last 9 years have lasted from as little as one BCD meeting, to well over two years. With two outlier sugar babies that I still see two or three times a year for the last 6 to 8 years. It's probably not as useful to fixate on an average length (pun intended :p) as you might think, since every arrangement is affected by a lot of variables. And as implied above, not all arrangements end with finality.

As to putting "dancer" in your profile, that will probably generate many more replies from guys looking for strictly "hook up" arrangements, rather than GF-Date-Companion arrangements. If you don't include it in your profile, I recommend you still disclose it after or during your 1st meet & greet. Sugar is about transparency, and lies will bite you later. Note also that the site has de-stressed the use of the "Occupation" field in profiles, so it's not unusual to see this field left blank on profiles.

So, what are you looking for? Lots of guys to hook up and get quick (if not repeatable) cash? Or fewer guys (or just one) who will be more like a part-time BF that take you to diner/shopping/travel, and also helps with the bills, then leaves you alone for a week or two? No judgement on either, I've met both types and everything in between (plus many ROB's).

I'm suggesting you consider what you really want first and then post a profile that will appeal to your preferred types. Either way, you will still need to wade through assholes, jerks, creepy pic collectors, salt-daddies (i.e.: broke), and perhaps wannabe pimps and such to find a good connection. But if you put in the time, and carefully vette you can find what you want.

Pro tip: The more the guy (and for daddies the girl) wants to accelerate to sex (I mean really pressures for a meet NOW) the more likely you will be dissatisfied with the experience, or worse.

@Waffle

Key Sugar variables: Age and Sugar Amount

This guy says he is 34 years old. He's at least 6 years under the "sweet spot" for a Daddy's age range (40-65). Then he offers $5,000 a month in his initial offer. That is a huge red flag for several reasons:

1. He's never met you yet he's already made an offer of $5,000 a month. That's probably 5 times the "average" sugar amount offered as general rule.

2. If he's really 34 years old, and has what might be called a successful career, he's probably making somewhere around $100k to $130K at best in Nevada. At that age, it's more likely he's making around $75k to $85k. But let's use $100k for now. If you net out taxes (say 33%), that leaves him $67k per year, or about $5,500 per month. Now take out rent/mortgage, utility bills, car payment, and more, he's probably netting about $1,500 a month in disposable cash (which he says he blows at the Venetian).

So he just does not have $5,000 a month for sugar.

1. He may have thought the questions are a good way to engage you in discussion. But it's just creepy. Implying YOU will take him on vacation? Implying he values kissing more than blow jobs or sloppy doggie in the back seat of his Camry? Asking you to prove you don't dress like a slob or a whore?

2. Finally, the threat to delete the app is a ploy to generate a sense of urgency in you to respond quickly. He wants you to think you'd better grab this diamond before he's gone. Total BS. He's been on the site for a while and isn't leaving anytime soon, unless someone reports him to Admin and he get's banned.

My take: This is the type of scammer that makes the rest of us look bad. You will never see any of the $5,000 and he may be a predator. You can simply tag the message and report him to Admin. Then block him.

I'm not an SAer but I don't agree that a SD deserves to know everything about a SB (e.g. if she's a stripper; etc) - she's not auditioning to be his wife - as far as I'm concerned a SB owes a SD proper-treatment and proper-companionship during the time they have agreed to be together - what she does in her own time is her biz and not the SD's IMO - analogous to any service one pays for - when I see my dentist, I expect him to be professional, but what he does on his own time is his biz.

And I would assume most SDs are not 100%-honest and forward w/ every detail of their lives.

Amen Papi.

Common scam is the guy says he wants to pay you by wiring lots of $ to your bank account just to get the account and routing number. Then he provides "instructions" to allow the transfer to take place which normally is actually a withdrawal from the account. The 5k number is just to get attention.

Apparently some fall for it otherwise it would not be soo common.

In conclusion, I have enough evidence to claim that Seeking Arrangement is a complete waste of time. The guys who sound promising or too good to be true are those who also say they expect their sugar dates to arrive in Louis Vuitton and Gucci with perfect makeup, nails, and hair. This isn't a site to find a supermodel, but these delusional fucks think it is.

I'm not deactivating my profile, but instead rewrote my profile to say I'm seeking someone who's down to earth and not high maintenance or delusional over his expectations.

Both parties should practice amazing hygiene and look nice, but named brand shit is unnecessary and not going to happen for me when I can barely afford rent right now. The guys on that site piss me off more than an average drunk PL who just wants to take me to dinner instead. 🙄

@Wiffle Waffle

Please see this clip from Cur Your Enthusiasm.

Larry David gives fashion advice to an escort:

m.youtube.com

Kick em in da balls Wiffle

CJKent has a way with da ladies

Too bad you're not in Cleveland...

@Nice when you going to come over and pick up my keys for my 74 pinto? 😘

My dad had a friend who would give a girl a nice down payment for a NICE car. If she came around each month she got a car payment.

I'm so confused how much the typical arrangement is eh well

It's crazy that you guys have a bad experience in SA, since as a guy I had the complete opposite experience.

WiffleWaffle, let's just bypass the whole SA deal. I will be happy to pick you up in my Lear Jet and whisk you off to my Maui retreat. Honest, I wouldn't lie to you 🌝😇😉

Oh, we might have to wait a bit while I wait for my parents to start paying off...