Who'd You Rather: Ashylnn Brooke vs. Gianna Michaels
AnonymousJim
Scanning the room from the back
The first round of the bracket takes a long time. Thirty-two matchups at two days each means we're spanning over two months, plus a day off here and there. We're nearing the end of it, though. We still have seven first-round matchups to go. In good news for those of you who prefer the more present-day names, four of those seven are in the Pornstar Bracket, which we haven't touched in about a month. More of those names are going to be ones from closer to the present day, like this one, which is a distinct contrast of styles.
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Pornstar Bracket: Ashlynn BROOKE vs. Gianna MICHAELS
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Ashlynn BROOKE
34C-23-33
PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1896
CLIP: (hardcore) https://www.pornflip.com/v/8hZkL_7Yo0f
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If Brooke's picture looks familiar, it was my avatar for a healthy part of the bracket thus far (it's now Claire Sinclair, who didn't make this bracket but could make one in the future). Brooke can serve as a proxy for guys into Kaley Cuoco, who didn't make the bracket because she's never shown her breasts on camera with intent for the images to be public. Brooke has, however, and did so filling Cuoco's tank top as Penny in Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody, the rare porn parody that didn't really need to use a play on words with its source material. Brooke may not be a dead ringer for Cuoco, but she's close enough, and we're lucky to have seen her in the role, as the parody came out in 2010, the year Brooke had her first child and stopped appearing on camera. A winner of a number of awards, including Best Breasts, Brooke's sweet, youthful appearance made her a favorite to many. Shut up, Sheldon.
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Gianna MICHAELS
38DDD-27-41
PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1945
CLIP: (bukkake) https://www.xnxx.com/video-9il4x35/bukka…
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If we changed the bracket from "Who'd You Rather" to "Baddest Bitch," Michaels' only competition would be Jesse Jane, and she'd still literally beat her, probably raining punches upon Jane until she was left bloodied and battered. Michaels is a bad girl, period. A few of her scenes feature her hitting, slapping or shoving guys around. However, she also loves sex and taking it rough, including shouting at guys and ordering them to give her what she (and they) want. Michaels is also one of the biggest girls in the bracket. Her DDD/F-cup breasts are supposedly natural, she's a little meatier than your standard lady, and she clearly isn't afraid to throw her weight around. Michaels has toured as a feature dancer with Sophie Dee in the past, so don't be surprised if you get to see her in a club near you sometime. If you do, enjoy her sexy confidence, and let her be a little rough with you. Just don't truly piss her off.
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This is a pretty massive contrast in styles. Should be interesting.
BROOKE
MICHAELS
or NEITHER
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Pornstar Bracket: Ashlynn BROOKE vs. Gianna MICHAELS
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Ashlynn BROOKE
34C-23-33
PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1896
CLIP: (hardcore) https://www.pornflip.com/v/8hZkL_7Yo0f
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If Brooke's picture looks familiar, it was my avatar for a healthy part of the bracket thus far (it's now Claire Sinclair, who didn't make this bracket but could make one in the future). Brooke can serve as a proxy for guys into Kaley Cuoco, who didn't make the bracket because she's never shown her breasts on camera with intent for the images to be public. Brooke has, however, and did so filling Cuoco's tank top as Penny in Big Bang Theory: A XXX Parody, the rare porn parody that didn't really need to use a play on words with its source material. Brooke may not be a dead ringer for Cuoco, but she's close enough, and we're lucky to have seen her in the role, as the parody came out in 2010, the year Brooke had her first child and stopped appearing on camera. A winner of a number of awards, including Best Breasts, Brooke's sweet, youthful appearance made her a favorite to many. Shut up, Sheldon.
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Gianna MICHAELS
38DDD-27-41
PIC: https://www.tuscl.net/photo.php?id=1945
CLIP: (bukkake) https://www.xnxx.com/video-9il4x35/bukka…
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If we changed the bracket from "Who'd You Rather" to "Baddest Bitch," Michaels' only competition would be Jesse Jane, and she'd still literally beat her, probably raining punches upon Jane until she was left bloodied and battered. Michaels is a bad girl, period. A few of her scenes feature her hitting, slapping or shoving guys around. However, she also loves sex and taking it rough, including shouting at guys and ordering them to give her what she (and they) want. Michaels is also one of the biggest girls in the bracket. Her DDD/F-cup breasts are supposedly natural, she's a little meatier than your standard lady, and she clearly isn't afraid to throw her weight around. Michaels has toured as a feature dancer with Sophie Dee in the past, so don't be surprised if you get to see her in a club near you sometime. If you do, enjoy her sexy confidence, and let her be a little rough with you. Just don't truly piss her off.
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This is a pretty massive contrast in styles. Should be interesting.
BROOKE
MICHAELS
or NEITHER
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41 comments
So it’s Michaels for me.
MICHAELS
Michaels
Ashlynn Brooke's video was hot and she would have won many of the other brackets. But Michaels is on another level.
Michaels is the choice.
So do Kelly Brook and Riley Steele.
It's a good movie for chuckles and boobs.
@Twentyfive, you clearly have a knock on Michaels, but that doesn't make it clear if you're voting for Brooke, neither or not voting at all.
It's going to matter in this one, because this one is very close.
AnonymousJim has stated a bunch of times that we're judging based on the woman in her prime.
For what it's worth, she's 35.
Other than Salma, I'd pass on all. That said, if one isn't blonde, she would most like be my choice.
The bracket came about because I stopped at uploading 64 pictures to my profile, which is the right number for a bracket.
I've never heard of Sensual Jane. I'll look into her stuff.
We may do another bracket down the line. I'm debating whether to crowdsource who can get in. I might open it up to suggestions, but some editorial discretion would probably be in order.
@twentyfive is going in as a 'Neither' based on interpretation, though he never explicitly made that clear.
@Clubber said Michaels upthread, then said he'd only truly pick Hayek, but we'll keep the original vote.
I'll toss one more vote Michaels' way to make this a little clearer.
It was a good battle, though it's important when they get this close for you guys to make it clear who you're picking, because it may make a difference in who moves on. All you have to do is throw in a couple carriage returns and make the last word of your post your vote. And we like to say the women we get dances from aren't always the brightest folks.
MICHAELS: 16
BROOKE: 13
NEITHER: 1
̶S̶e̶n̶s̶u̶a̶l̶ ̶J̶a̶n̶e̶:̶ ̶2̶
̶M̶i̶c̶h̶a̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶h̶a̶t̶e̶ ̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶a̶g̶e̶:̶ ̶2̶
̶B̶o̶t̶h̶:̶ ̶1̶
̶M̶i̶c̶h̶a̶e̶l̶s̶'̶ ̶I̶M̶D̶B̶ ̶i̶n̶f̶o̶:̶ ̶1̶
̶M̶i̶c̶h̶a̶e̶l̶s̶ ̶l̶o̶v̶e̶:̶ ̶1̶
̶C̶l̶u̶b̶b̶e̶r̶ ̶b̶a̶c̶k̶t̶r̶a̶c̶k̶i̶n̶g̶:̶ ̶1̶
Michaels advances over Brooke, though this was the best matchup we've had yet.
Thirty total votes was second only to the Hayek/McCarthy matchup in terms of turnout. Brooke can make the case she was the most competitive non-advancer we've had yet. Her 13 votes is three more than either Dita Von Teese or Dillion Harper among those who didn't move on. Her 43.3 percent share is second only to Kitana Baker's, from our very first matchup, among non-advancers. But, only one can survive, and she's not the one.
If you thought this matchup was a fight, consider who Michaels draws in the next round: Jenna Jameson.