Coyness

30 comments

• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  Asking em what goes on in VIP, no you don't do that. You just come on to them and let them know what you want to do with them in VIP, and then why you want to see them outside. SJG
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  You gotta get out of your PL-comfort-zone. I think I heard a saying once something about "keep doing the same thing then expect to keep getting the same results" - yeah "it's not very intuitive" but apparently such a saying exists
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  Being passive w/ women, stripper or not, is often a one-way ticket to mediocrity w.r.t. female relationships - I don't have much game w/ women but one thing I've noticed is that being afraid/insecure/a-pleaser is often an Rx for not getting the pussy you want - I've found that not giving too much of a shit and acting indifferent often works best for w/e reason - the nicer you try to be often times the less interest many women seem to have in you.
• Bavarian

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  5 years ago

  “PL-comfort-zone” 🤣
• Bavarian

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  5 years ago

  A lot of activities are possible by just telling the dancer “if I do something you’re not comfortable with, feel free to stop me or just say no” Now a BJ or getting sticky like the Reverend says, are different animals. Those require a direct question. There is no way to transition into it without asking. If the response is no, I don’t get mad or persist. I ask towards the latter part of the allotted time so it won’t spoil the mood. That’s my approach to OTC. Sex is not a deal breaker so that’s why I don’t ask upfront.
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  Front Room Makeout Session! [view link] SJG
• prevert

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  5 years ago

  I’ve had success just asking for what I want. The dancer friend, who is my “wingman” sometimes, tells me that very few dancers will be offended by it. Cautious maybe but not insulted. Seems to have worked so far. And I haven’t been kicked out yet. lol
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  In My Experience, flirting, coming on to her, treating her in a completely civilian manner, have always worked best. And of course the epitome is then, the preliminary makeout session. Just treat her like you'd just met her at a party. And you can be feeding her money too, just as a show of respect, not as though you are buying something. SJG
• doctorevil

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  5 years ago

  “I think it’s pointless to ask a dancer what goes on in VIP. The response will always be “dancing” Even if they have an expanded menu in VIP, they don’t come out and say it. The PL will always have to inquire and take the initiative.“ Sorry, but none of this is true. Some girls will be very upfront and specific about what they will do or not do, others not so much. Some will also take the initiative and tell you without you asking. Just depends on the club, the girl, time of day, phase of the moon, and the mood she happens to be in.
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  Yes, but in general it is none of your business what goes on, just like it is none of your business what this girl does with her own body with other people. All that matters is getting her to do what you want her to do with you. Being direct and explicit is more often than not. not the best way to secure that. Whereas in my experience treating her in a totally civilian matter works the best. And the epitome of that is the front room makeout session. It just happens, you don't talk her into it. When nothing is working, then the explicit discussion is okay. I have often used this to set up dance booth DATYing. Once that has been done, the girls softens up considerably and becomes much easier to deal with in a civilian manner. SJG
• rl27

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  5 years ago

  Doctor evil is right. Many times when I asked what we can do in the VIP, we can't do here, I'll usually get something on the order, of the following four types of replies. The first will have a lot of vague replies like. It's more private. We can get nude, if the club only allows nude in the VIP. It's a lot more fun. This basically means you are just getting the same dance you get in the front. Several dancers will even tell me, "it's not worth it." Several even bring up OTC after this. The next type is stuff like. We can touch each other a lot more. We can get away with more back there. We can touch each other a lot more. The bouncers check on us less. Most of the time this means you'll get a better dance, but may not be worth it. The third you hear stuff like "I'll get you off." "You'll leave satisfied." "I think you'll be happy." This is often in addition to the second type. It can be good or not. Finally, in many cases she'll get very descriptive, although often not out in the main floor. I had a few dancers offer a regular lap dance to see if I like it, then during the lap dance say, "if you head to the champagne room, you can take it out and we can have a lot of fun."
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  And how much better that would already be if you have gotten a front room makeout session going with her, and without having to have a discussion about it! SJG
• jackslash

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  5 years ago

  It depends on the city and the club. Not a lot of coyness in Detroit.
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  ^^^^^^ :) :) :) Front room makeout sessions in Detroit? SJG
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  A PL/dancer "relationship" is a two-person system - as a customer, strip-club or not, there is certain due-diligence one is responsible for to ensure one gets what they seek - if one gives the dancer all the decision-making often tines the dancer will do what's best for her not what's best for you - in the end the person most responsible for having the best SC-visit possible is often the custy himself.
• Cristobal

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  5 years ago

  In COI clubs the "What goes on in the VIP room" question usually leads to me getting what I want in the VIP room. Stripper world is almost the opposite of the real world, so being direct with regard to what you want is usually the best (and sometimes only) to get what you want. With regard to TJ, it is not a fair comparison because those are brothels (or strip club/brothels) not just extras club.
• nicespice

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  5 years ago

  Coyness and ambiguity is what attracts many men to the club in the first place. And from a dancer perspective, being forward, or even just engaging in the extras themselves has consequences. Just recently a customer asked direct questions about whether in a regular floor dance he would be allowed to kiss me during a dance or allow his hands to wander underneath my underwear. And he did it by saying “——— lets me do that” Even if I was down for that, the answer would be hell no after outing somebody else in the process. And that’s not the only time I’ve been in a scenario like that. But many men like the thrill-of-the-chase aspect. If that’s not you, then perhaps try out a different part of the sex industry that has more forwardness?
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  5 years ago

  Bavarian said “I think it’s pointless to ask a dancer what goes on in VIP. The response will always be “dancing” Even if they have an expanded menu in VIP, they don’t come out and say it. The PL will always have to inquire and take the initiative.“ Depends on the region; depends on the club. Around here, you can usually just ask for what you want and not be circumspect about it. A fair number of dancers can become either annoyed or cautious / wary around a guy who is vague about what he wants.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  5 years ago

  Nicespice said "And he did it by saying '——— lets me do that'". That guy is a moron.
• gawker

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  5 years ago

  Time available guides how I approach women in a club. At one club tonight I began laying the groundwork for an OTC at a hotel. We talked a lot about our sexual likes and dislikes. She told me of some overly anxious men she’s entertained in VIP which was her way of telling me that more than dancing takes place behind closed doors. We talked about an hour & I paid her for her time So I tucked a couple of Ben Franklins in her garter. I went to another club and met a cute spinner whose second sentence was “Wanna dance?”. I said yes and opted for a 15 minute stint. After 2 minutes I had to stand to arrange my privates. She then started running her hand over my thigh, then my dick through my pants. I asked if there was a chance I could release the beast and have it in her mouth. She gave me a price (too much, but I didn’t want to argue, I just wanted a blowjob. I did verify that the price quoted was inclusive of the club set price for the 15 minutes. Very clear, specific, and no confusion.
• Papi_Chulo

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  5 years ago

  "... But many men like the thrill-of-the-chase aspect. If that’s not you, then perhaps try out a different part of the sex industry that has more forwardness ..." IDK - perhaps applies to some - but IMO the main-draw of a strip-club is that one does not have to chase the woman in hopes they'll get something all the while burning thru a few hundred-bucks to see if he gets lucky - that sounds more like real-world dating and bar-hopping or hitting regular nightclubs - I would think most guys hit SCs b/c it's a sure thing w.r.t. w/e the particular club/area allows. And it's not so much "different parts of the sex-industry" and IMO more of what different cities offer SC-wise - in my visit to Detroit a few years back it seemed asking for just a mere lap-dance vs extras made you look like some kind of retard - I think often times one gets used to looking at the SC-industry thru the lens of the SCs one has been hitting for years and forgets it can be pretty-varied depending on where one SCs the most.
• Call.Me.Ishmael

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  5 years ago

  I think a lot of guys go to strip clubs because they're pretty done with the "thrill of the chase" thing.
• Bavarian

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  5 years ago

  Well there is no thrill of the chase in Detroit or HKTJ. I do enjoy finding a gorgeous Latina dancer. Becoming her regular and then later on trying my luck with OTC. Just finding one can take me years of visits until the right one walks through the door. I just don’t see the appeal of taking whichever random stripper is “extras” friendly to the VIP. The way it works here is that VIP is $250 an hour at one club and $350 to $600 at another for as long as you want to be there. Those fees only cover the room. The dancer’s time is separate.
• nicespice

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  5 years ago

  —>”I think often times one gets used to looking at the SC-industry thru the lens of the SCs one has been hitting for years and forgets it can be pretty-varied depending on where one SCs the most.” Good point.
• Nidan111

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  5 years ago

  I go to SCs in a 4 state region. It very much depends on the club, the state, or the city/town. In one state, the dancer asks if I want to go behind the beads. I ask her what her menu is. While sitting at the bar, She / they flat out tell me $40 HJ, $60 BJ, $100 FS. Not a stripper, but ALL of them. In another state, they tell me that for an extra $40, we can take him out and play with him. A 3rd state, no extras in most towns EXCEPT ONE. That one town is a backwoods club with the cops as customers and FS is readily offered via the code words, “we need to take care of that for you back in VIP”. My go to line at this time is to state that “this is not my first rodeo. What are you going to do to get me to come back and see you next visit?” Most recent time, Stripper pulled out JR and played with him. After we went back to front room, she told me that she wanted to fuck me, but was afraid to ask. She then asked ,”what would you have done if I asked you that in the back?” I told her that I would mandate that we use Cover. She then asked me to prove it. So, I pulled out two covers and showed her that I was prepared. She smiled. Had I not been so tired after 16 hr work day, I probably could have taken her OTC that night. So, long story short.....it is not pointless at all to ask what goes on in VIP. One thing is for sure ... if you don’t ask, then you will get no answer. If you do ask, then you will get an answer. It is up to you as to what your next move is based on that answer.
• chowder

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  5 years ago

  IME coyness leads to money spent with disappointment. If a PL is coy they will leave themselves open to the bait-and-switch that goes on in most clubs. As the PL you just have to know the turf you are playing in and proceed accordingly. If I am direct with a dancer and she isn't up for it or gets mad, it didn't cost me money and I didn't get disappointed. I don't go to clubs to play games and be led on.
• IceyLoco

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  5 years ago

  If you're soliciting a hooker, there's really not much to worry about. She won't reject your money unless you're really off in some way As for just trying to get pussy. The best thing is to be an asshole to everyone but really nice to the girl you want. Be a bad boy and a jerk to everyone but a little vulnerable with her. That makes them feel special AF and they catch feelings fast.
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  Front room makeout session is always going to be the solution. SJG
• jestrite50

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  5 years ago

  Works for me every time !
• san_jose_guy

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  5 years ago

  I think people go to these clubs, and to the clubs in TJ, and they find what they want to find. Easily getting girls DFKing is something which takes a bit of practice. Not everyone has really ltried to learn this. But the general ambience of the club will also effect it. Thanks, SJG