OT: divorce parties

avatar for FTS
FTS
Are they cool or tacky? Have you been to one? If the party is for the (former) husband, is it sometimes hosted at a strip club?

Somebody close to me is getting a divorce, and because I now know a lot more about strip clubs than I used to, I’m wondering if I should throw some kind of divorce party at a strip club.

I’ve seen bachelor parties where they take the groom on stage and the dancers smack him with a belt. I don’t suppose they would do that at a divorce party in which the man initiated the divorce, right?

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avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Yeah, that's a thing, but it's not a smart thing. Taking your recently-divorced buddy to the strip club is the inner circle of Hell that Dante left out of "The Inferno".

Honestly, it depends on the guy and the divorce, but a lot of just-divorced guys are some version of bitter, depressed, and/or angry. This isn't the best mental state for the strip club.

The one true floor-clearing, knock-down fight I saw at the Cadillac Lounge was a divorce party. Personally, I had to physically drag a guy out of a club before he emptied his bank accounts into a stripper's purse.

I heard a story from a bartender about a guy who had to be led out of the VIP because he broke down sobbing.

Take him for some BBQ and a few rounds of pool. Keep it simple. Take him to a strip club on the one-year anniversary of his divorce.
avatar for FTS
FTS
6 years ago
^^ thanks for that advice. I don’t think this buddy of mine would start a fight, he’s a nice guy... maybe sobbing in the VIP. But I hadn’t fully accounted for the emotional state he’ll be in.

Then again, he seems very eager to get back into the dating world. Apparently it was a “dead bedroom” type of thing, so perhaps the emotions have mostly died already.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Sure. But dating is different from a strip club. Also, a lot of guys keep their post-divorce emotions bottled up. It's hard to know what's really going on until they're over stimulated and a bit drunk.

Does it need to be a surprise? Just ask him. He might appreciate that more.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Or, buy him a gift certificate for Seeking Arrangement. You may not see him again for months...

Also, I'm kidding.

Pool and BBQ. Or something like that. But hey, you know the guy better than me. It's good of you to want to help him out.
avatar for BGSD3100
BGSD3100
6 years ago
My divorce should be final on July 22. I'm considering having a party.
avatar for Mate27
Mate27
6 years ago
People are looking for an excuse to celebrate, even if it’s the most mundane reason.

How can any celebration be enjoyable when you’ve barely stop from celebrating the prior? Divorce is not something to celebrate. If it is then let’s celebrate me being employed for 20+ years. Next thing we will be celebrating people getting fired from their jobs!
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
If you thing he'd like it, go for it...
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
6 years ago
I celebrate my divorcee every time I walk into a club or see a pretty woman.
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
6 years ago
I have not see, but I did go to strip clubs when I was going through my divorce and for a short time after. It was not to be happy. It was to prevent me from doing something stupid. The strip club was the safest place that I thought I could be around people who didn’t mind just bullshiting about nothing. I was that guy who broke down crying in VIP several times on different nights in different clubs. I am not one to break down emotionally like that and it actually fucked with my mind because I really loved my ex. So, my point is that you really do not know his emotional stability. Just hang out with him and feel out the situation first.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
Nidan, I've used the club as a non judgmental outlet when times got rough too.
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
6 years ago
^^^ it works.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
It does work. It gets your mind off things, you're around people, constant stimulation....drinks. And spending time with strippers always cheers me up lol
avatar for George123789
George123789
6 years ago
Whatever you do, keep it simple and away from the strip club. A number of years ago a buddy was going through a divorce and another friend arranged a strip club visit like the bachelor party you described. The only problem was when the dancers took him on stage to mess with him he was so aroused he blew his nut all over the front of his boxers and started weeping. That brought a new meaning to awkward. The dancers were very cruel because the fool who had arranged the event told them the reason.
Seriously think about taking him to dinner and then the pool hall or a ball game. The ball game might remind him of happier days.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
Well, that's worse than weeping in the VIP...
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
6 years ago
@george Holy shit!

I remember one time sitting at a table and dancing for a couple of guys. One of them was getting a divorce. And the rest of the room was virtually all batchelor parties. Ah fun times.

And I agree with the sentiments from the other posters.
avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
6 years ago
I'm not sure I would "celebrate" getting a divorce. That would mean I just gave up HALF ! That would be very painful.
avatar for TFP
TFP
6 years ago
A weeping, unhappy LDK? First time I've heard of that. And on stage in front of everyone, Jesus that sounds terrible. If only he had the proper pants he might have been able to act like nothing happened lol.

Divorce party sounds sad. At first you had a lavish celebration of your union with this woman that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with. And now you're just happy to be rid of her. Reading this and other stories makes me never want to get married.
avatar for Cristobal
Cristobal
6 years ago
As one who went through a divorce, I was in no mood for celebrating.

I had an amicable, relatively easy divorce but it was still depressing.

I preferred wanting to hang out, eat, or watch sporting events to going to a SC.
avatar for TFP
TFP
6 years ago
^^^^that link is golden!!! Eddie had my DYING on my lunch break. Seems Jeff Bezos is the modern day Johnny Carson. I love those expressions he was imitating. "They showed the picture of Johnny :sad face:. Then they showed the picture of his ex wife :happy smile with arms stretched out:.".
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
6 years ago
Tacky and depressing. A divorce is not something to celebrate, regardless of the circumstances. It means that a lifetime commitment failed.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
6 years ago
The DS and a I had a private party to celebrate my divorce. That’s the way to go.
avatar for FTS
FTS
6 years ago
Thanks you all for advice, I think i’ll save the strip club visit for some time well after his divorce is over and done with.
avatar for FTS
FTS
6 years ago
@JS, I think your situation was muuuuuch different than my buddy’s. For one thing, he doesn’t have a DS... I’m not sure he’s even stepped foot inside a strip club.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Guy needs time to reinvent himself after a divorce.

SJG

Biopower: Why We Don’t Revolt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cpyp9OH…

Alvin Lee – The Bluest Blues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB6OlJqV…
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
6 years ago
Guy needs time to reinvent himself after a divorce.

SJG

Biopower: Why We Don’t Revolt
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Cpyp9OH…

Alvin Lee – The Bluest Blues
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rB6OlJqV…
avatar for jester214
jester214
6 years ago
Depends on the guy and the divorce.

Is that how your visits to the club feel Rick?
avatar for stripfighter
stripfighter
6 years ago
some people enjoy tacky.... in your situation depends on the guy. sounds like by "nice guy" he wasn't the one who initiated it and the fact he's never been to a SC neither means a SC won't be the answer.... take him to an AMP instead ;)

but seriously take him somewhere his ex wouldn't let him go before. whether it's a concert (that he wanted to go to but she didn't like) or hanging out with the buddies. a divorce is just a breakup, albeit w/legal and financial ramifications, but same principles apply getting over one: first step--do the things you couldn't before whether that's SCing or not.
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