Taking my wife to the club
SirLapdancealot
Knight of the Round Table Dance
A. A club where all the strippers are new to both of us?
or
B. A club where I've been a solo regular before and with some past faves dancing and where the staff for sure knows me?
"A" is the least risk but I actually want to see some past faves and hang with them and my wife, so I want "B". It may just be a fantasy but I envision a night with a fave flirting with both my wife and I the entire time as we drink and have a good time. However, I don't want to get into awkward situations like a fave coming up to me and grabbing my crotch just like old times or the bartender blabbing about how much they've missed me. If we go to "B", it will take some faith that my fave and the staff will show some discretion after seeing me again. I don't know it it is worth it to take that chance. I'll likely choose "A" because I don't want to chance my wife having a bad night. What say you, fellow married PLs and strippers?
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41 comments
My recommendation:
1) Take your wife to the mall.
2) Buy her a very expensive tennis bracelet.
3) Pray that she forgets all about this crazy idea of going to a strip club.
Trust me, you’ll save lots of money if you follow my advice.
You can just give her some singles to tip the dancers and assess her comfort level. If you guys want to do a couple dance, then the one way contact only will probably be a more friendly way to go about it as well.
And if for whatever reason she decides she doesn’t like the idea of seeing strippers after all, then you guys can retreat to the corner and play video poker/slot machines.
Never expose your hobby to the Boss - it will be used against you over and over and, yes Over!!!!
And then maybe if she gets drunk enough I will suggest a few clubs I frequented. There are a few faves that I think I could trust because we have had conversations in the past about using discretion if they ever saw me come in with my wife.
I recommend conveniently forgetting about the whole thing and play dumb if she ever brings it up again, which she probably wont unless (by the sounds of it) you guys have been drinking.
If we go I'll make it a 50-50 date night where we will go see some live music, something she likes to do a lot and that I'm not as into, then go to a strip club which is something I like more than her.
They arrive at the club and the doorman says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin'?"
His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before.
"Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team."
When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser.
His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says,"How did she know that you drink Budweiser?"
"She's in the Ladies Bowling League, honey. We share lanes with them."
A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, and says "Hi Davey. Want your usual lap dance, big boy?"
Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club.
Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her.
He tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it.
She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every name in the book.
The cabby turns his head and says, "Looks like you picked up a real bitch tonight, Dave."
I also suggest never choosing option B. jackslash’s poat is funny, but there’s a core of realism to it. The first time a stripper calls you by your name, your wife will notice and likely call you out, especially if you’ve agreed not to go, and even if you *have* kept your promise.
Hiding hobby got you "grounded", this situation calls for honesty, - and most likely, choice A.
I realize this is a pretty general statement but it holds true very often.
HER: Do you to go with me to a strip club?
ME: I would love to take you to Disneyland (for example).
Also if my wife were like other women we would already be divorced because of what she already knows. She knows how much money I spent on strippers and it's not a trivial amount.
I'm so glad she doesn't care for the big beefcake dudes in banana hammocks at the male strip clubs. Otherwise I would likely have to go to one with her if I wanted to go to a regular club.