Do you care that the dancer is married?

avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
Verified and Certifiable Super-Reviewer
After being treated to several goofy threads about married customers, let's flip the script a bit. As anyone who actually knows anything about this business well understands, most dancers have SOs. Makes sense when you think about it as codependency issues are common with girls who have problematic backgrounds - most of them simply cannot be alone for very long. Yet some guys cannot seem to enjoy a dancer unless they are under the illusion that she is single.

I will just add that my most recent 3 OTC partners are all married and I couldn't care less, but that is me. Shit, when I hear that a girl is married, I'm often encouraged as that means she probably has an extra mouth to feed. But again, not everyone uses clubs the same way that I do.

Do you care if a dancer is married and, if so, why?

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avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
6 years ago
In the club, I don't care. Not sure I would want to do OTC with a married girl though. Would not want the jealous husband to show up.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
6 years ago
I don’t care unless I perceive a real risk that the guy will go psycho over the fact that I’m fucking his girl. But that’s pretty rare. Also, as a practical matter, since almost every dancer has a SO of some sort, theres no choice so you just have to get used to it.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
My attitude towards married / attached dancers is similar to the attitude of many customers here towards dancers with tattoos.

Would I prefer that she be completely single?... sure. But that's an impractical expectation, unless you're hunting unicorns.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
6 years ago
I don't care. I've even met some husbands and boyfriends. I do have some concern about jealousy, and I've received a few threatening calls and texts over the years. It's best when the SO is a drug addict and doesn't care what his bitch is doing as long as she brings home money.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
6 years ago
Don’t care. After all, *I* am married. Wouldn’t it be just a tad hypocritical to be critical of a stripper who is?

Besides which, married strippers, and strippers in relationships, seem to be statistically more likely to fuck a fat, ugly guy who’s at least twice their age, and has a small dick besides. Single girls have standards that haven’t been eroded yet.
avatar for londonguy
londonguy
6 years ago
I don't care and I don't ever ask, we are just meeting to meet each others needs.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
6 years ago
Since there is no reliable way of knowing whether she is married or not, I don't let it worry me. Recently a favorite dancer of mine told me that she was pregnant. Without thinking I asked "Do you know who the father is?". She said it was her husband of 8 months and that they had been together for 4 years. I had no idea and she was a favorite.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
6 years ago
jacklash posted: "I do have some concern about jealousy, and I've received a few threatening calls and texts over the years."

Yup. This is one of the risks in taking married girls OTC. I've had a few of these. I even had one husband follow us to the hotel and yell at her from his truck window as she was going in the room, which I posted about a few years ago. There was also another husband that used to camp out in the parking lot of the club trying to catch her in the act, so getting her OTC required some Mission Impossible type maneuvers, lol.

But realistically I can count these issues on one hand and I've taken out a lot of girls with SOs over the years. Most of them seem content to bury their heads in the sand in order to keep the $$ flowing in.
avatar for jsully63
jsully63
6 years ago
Doesn’t matter to me if she’s married. Why should it? She’s doing her job and I’m just another hopefully satisfied customer. In fact I prefer she doesn’t talk at all about her personal life. I’m there to enjoy the fantasy.
avatar for Daddillac
Daddillac
6 years ago
I recently met the ex husband of a stripper I was banging. Evidently he found out about me and divorced her for it. He actually thanked me for giving him a reason to dump the cunt.
avatar for Muddy
Muddy
6 years ago
Yes this bothers me a lot. Completely kills the vibe and fantasy for me.
avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
6 years ago
There was a time when I did, but I grew up and got over it.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
6 years ago
The primary concern for me relates to a jealous spouse - with otc.

If I’m only fucking her itc - it’s not a concern.

I don’t have any moral concerns about fucking a married dancer.

I don’t ask many questions - regarding a dancers relationship status. Obviously - it’s easy to see a wedding ring.

I doubt there’s any connection beyond her and my wallet - so I’m not concerned about causing any relationship issues.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
She's selling you a fantasy... odds are the majority of girls at the club are in some kind of relationship or are dating. But they're not gonna say anything to ruin the fantasy
avatar for Imamutt
Imamutt
6 years ago
Cashman, yes, as long as her pimp, uh, I mean, ‘husband’ is getting your money, he doesn’t have cause to get jealous. He might be drinking a beer right next to you for all you know!
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
Nothing wrong with pimping a hoe if thats what she wants
avatar for 501traveler
501traveler
6 years ago
Dont care and prefer not to know. As others have stated, it ruins the fantasy. I also don't ask her those type of questions. I'm there to have a good time, not start a relationship.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
6 years ago
I understand why the concern (a reasonable one, at that) about "I don't want to risk an OTC where a jealous SO shows up" is more of a concern with a husband, than a boyfriend. And since nearly all strippers have boyfriends, even if they lie to you and say they don't, that means you shouldn't be doing OTCs at all if this is a deal-killer for you. Hell, to overthink things a bit, I think a stripper husband is SAFER than a boyfriend -- in the few cases I know of, stripper husbands know the deal, and at least are the more long-term-thinking types, whereas a run-of-the-mill stripper boyfriend is often bottom-of-the-barrel and doesn't know what's going on (and if he finds out, who knows what he'll do). In short, "her SO might show up" is always a reasonable concern around OTC, and something you should address in your safety protocols; but I don't see how that concern is higher with a married stripper, I think it's the same or lower than your average stripper boyfriend.

As far as for myself:
- In general, I don' care if she's married or has a boyfriend, it doesn't kill the fantasy for me, and most of my ATFs have had boyfriends at some point or other.
- I do care to know, if I can get a true answer. Like I said, him showing up is a very real risk, and you're just burying your head in the ground if you ignore it. I like to know what I'm dealing with, if possible. She wants to show me his pic, I want to see it, just so I can recognize him, etc.
- Her SO status *may* limit whether or not she can make it into CF or ATF status -- I've had arrangement-like relationships with all my ATFs, which includes overnights, texting, etc. If she can't do that because of a husband, she's more likely to stay as a casual CF. None of this is an issue with you variety guys.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
6 years ago
"I understand why the concern (a reasonable one, at that) about "I don't want to risk an OTC where a jealous SO shows up" is more of a concern with a husband, than a boyfriend."

Should be: I DON'T understand
avatar for George123789
George123789
6 years ago
Interesting question...... I would run into the married/so issues at sc. interestingly at my current favorite place (Geisha House) there is no mention of such vibe killing bs from the girls I have met up with there. A long time ago in Minneapolis I became infatuated with a really cute strawberry blond who was unbelievable every time out of the chute. I finally started asking about OTC only to be told sure but she’d have to call her baby daddy from outside the club to tell him to keep the little one for the night. I was ok with that. But, I almost had a stroke when she made the call as we were walking down the street because she told him, and I quote (roughly), “You gotta keep the kiddo for the night because I’m going home with this cute old guy and I can’t wait for him to fuck me!” No shit! I laughed and told her she was ballsy.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
I have also encountered dancers who legitimately felt that they were single, and then discovered that there was at least one guy out there who strongly believed otherwise. Sometimes more than one.

Strippers are often unreliable narrators...
avatar for NJBalla
NJBalla
6 years ago
Some of my best dances are with a girl who proudly wears her engagement ring while dancing.
avatar for pistola
pistola
6 years ago
Used to bother me until I learned that it's their job and they play the seductress part. I won't OTC though with a married dancer or one I know has a significant other/bf not worth the drama. Now if her SO is a female....
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
Strippers are honest and reliable when they care to be so. The problem is you're going for hookers working out of strip clubs, and of course they'll tell a trick what they want to hear. There's no reason for them to be honest with a trick.
avatar for Salty.Nutz
Salty.Nutz
6 years ago
I dont care, and i havent ran into a strippers husband OTC. If i did, i would tell him that its a misunderstanding and im giving his wife money to spend time with me. and he touches me im calling the police.
avatar for rockie
rockie
6 years ago
I've found it to be more typical that a married fav plays down the aspect that she is actually married to play the single mom card. The only actual concern I've had is when a dancer is dating/mating a fellow club employee, or their significant other makes club visits. I don't need to make the acquaintances of the other half.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
When I was a baby-PL I didn't like dancers telling me.rhey had an S.O,, it.wasn't necessarily a deal-breaker but was a big turnoff - and if she was married that would affect me even more to the point I would feel I was doing something wrong groping her during dances.

These days the only thing I expect from a dancer is fair treatment/value and pretty-much everything else is her biz not mine. - in reality I've never met a dancer that I know was married or told me she was married so IDK how I would feel groping her or more but being the horny mofo that I am I'd likely put my horniness above my conscious.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
If she's stripping or hoeing, then odds are he's supportive or at least likes the money.

but sometimes....

I remember an older Filipina dancer, her husband would hover over her at the club and they'd argue in Tagalog while she'd be giving floor dances... It was funny to watch. She was a real character, she used to tell me to call her grandma.

Another time, a dancer I was dating was living with her boyfriend. She stayed coz of the kids. He found our texts and threatened me. He texted me pretending to be her telling me to come over, then started a fight. The bitch dumped me coz I hurt her boyfriend...

The last time was at a club. This girl was came in early and couldn't keep her eyes off me. As soon as her shift started she came over and we talked. She spent over an hour with me nursing a drink. Her man kept coming near us, sitting nearby. When she went on stage he sat there staring at me and swearing. When I'd look at him, he'd turn around and swear some more. I thought he was retarded for a while. I spent a little more time with her and she put her number in my phone. He went ballistic, told her something and made her cry. She spent the night in the dressing room, and he kept following me around the club swearing at me when he thought I wasn't looking his way. I really felt like hitting him but didn't.
avatar for whodey
whodey
6 years ago
As long as he isn't around I don't give a fuck if she is married. Better that she has an idiot husband than an abusive pimp.
avatar for bubba267
bubba267
6 years ago
Most have a SO. Find married and engaged to be the most stable and reliable in all the ways GMD mentions.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
6 years ago
I don’t care. I assume there is some SO in their lives.
avatar for DandyDan
DandyDan
6 years ago
I used to, but over time I learned some of my favorites were married and I came to the conclusion that it was basically a job for them. Then I learned that being married didn't stop the girls at the extras club I went to from doing whatever they did. That included my old favorite Angel, who would be up for anything, even if she did have her ring on her finger.
avatar for Nidan111
Nidan111
6 years ago
The ONLY THING that kill my fantasy is when the stripper talks about her SO who is a female. I want my fantasy to be with a hot chick who likes cock.
avatar for datinman
datinman
6 years ago
I don't care, but I don't want to hear about. Recently I had a cute young thing naked on my lap waiting for a partial song to finish to start her dance. In the interim, she talked about her boyfriend and her kids and where they were going on vacation in the Spring, totally killed the mood. She was cute, but that was a one and done.
avatar for K
K
6 years ago
ITC I don't care. OTC? I care to some degree. Will he show up? This is true of BF's and ex's as well. I also prefer ladies that can stay the night. I also prefer to mix my pleasures and go to dinner, a show and get drinks with my companion. Those with a live in SO or children are less likely to be able to do that.

on the plus side, married providers are less likely to cause trouble or attract attention. they are far more likely to be discrete. They have as much to lose as I do. I don't worry that I may be her retirement plan. They also tend to be on time and leave when they should.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
6 years ago
-->"ITC I don't care. OTC? I care to some degree. Will he show up? This is true of BF's and ex's as well. I also prefer ladies that can stay the night. I also prefer to mix my pleasures and go to dinner, a show and get drinks with my companion. Those with a live in SO or children are less likely to be able to do that. "

Right. I didn't say it, but I care about SOs, BFs, husbands, etc. if it impacts the experience -- can she stay over, can I text her whenever I want, etc.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
6 years ago
I don't do OTC or pay for extras. IME, the dancers I've known to be either married, separated or divorced generally provided the most GFE and satisfying experience. The most GPS dancers have generally been never married and had no kids. Not a rule, but definitely correlated.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
As long as you know what you're doing and why, I don't get how it would make a difference. If you're dating a girl being married makes a difference but that's about it
avatar for stripfighter
stripfighter
6 years ago
Hot girls in general are in some stage of a relationship. Girls be dating multiple guys but still say they're single.

But as far as the q, I don't ask. For the fantasy I prefer her single, but know that's most of the time not the case.
avatar for rl27
rl27
6 years ago
As long as she gives a good dance, I don't care if she's married, has a boyfriend or girlfriend, has kids, as long as she doesn't make too much of a deal about it. I had one favorite who gave me a lot more news than I ever cared about her 5 year son and 8 year old daughter, ex-husband and her current girlfriend than I ever cared about. If she wasn't smoking hot and gave amazing private dance, I would likely have avoided her.
avatar for Ch3ll
Ch3ll
6 years ago
For just a dance or in the club activities I wouldn't care. I think if it involved some otc I'd probably be concerned to an extent as to him discovering or his actions.

One I otc with a few times would always be texting or talking to someone right before we'd go to the room and this would be in the wee hours of the morning. Assuming the worst I always thought it was a dude, but nothing ever came of it. Prior one otc an us leaving the club she went to talk to some dude then left for the dressing room and we left. Once again nothing came of it. And the one otc at supposedly someone she was house sitting for were a bunch of baseball caps, but once again nothing came of it. And oh how she conveniently had all her needed toiletries at this house sitting location.
avatar for nicespice
nicespice
6 years ago
I’d assume that the kind of dancer who is not discreet enough to lie effectively about a husband, may be showing signs of being indiscreet about other things in life. And that is what may be the red flag for a customer? Just guessing

(And of course the ruined fantasy for a RIL as well)
avatar for Salty.Nutz
Salty.Nutz
6 years ago
"IME, the dancers I've known to be either married, separated or divorced generally provided the most GFE and satisfying experience. The most GPS dancers have generally been never married and had no kids. Not a rule, but definitely correlated"

I agree...
avatar for K
K
6 years ago
Nicespice,
it is rare that the dancer volunteers the info. It usually only comes up after some sort of dancer/regular customer relationship has been established. There are times Honesty is a good thing.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
6 years ago
nicespice posted: "I’d assume that the kind of dancer who is not discreet enough to lie effectively about a husband, may be showing signs of being indiscreet about other things in life."

Idk nice. We're all human and it's hard to keep your guard up forever with the same person. Most girls that I deal with lie about it initially, but after multiple chats over time it tends to slip out.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
6 years ago
I knew a RIL who, upon discovering that his love-interest stripper was married, doubled both his efforts and his spending to rescue her from a man who would never appreciate her. It ended badly.

Most RILs have a rare talent for convoluted logic to perpetuate their fantasy.
avatar for Icey
Icey
6 years ago
They're not in love, they're just pathetic and want to desperately hold on to whoever is the only woman to give them the time of day, even if they're just paying for it...guys who pay for sex or attention should be paying a therapist instead.
avatar for Ch3ll
Ch3ll
6 years ago
Does RIL mean Really in Love?
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
6 years ago
Regular in Love, but yeah, pretty much the same thing.
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