Calling her a whore
gawker
Older than dirt
Tuesday, December 11, 2018 9:54 PM
There’s a former dancer who I’ve known for quite awhile who is currently engaged to a guy she’s only known for a few months. She and I talk often and are pretty honest with each other.
She says that when they have sex he frequently calls her a dirty fucking whore. They’ve done a few times of dripping hot candle wax on each other, pissed on each other once, and generally treat each other like shit. She says it really turns her on and she doesn’t know why. He knows that she was an addict and supported her habit by dancing. I asked if he knew that she used to turn tricks? She said, “ He’s not stupid”
He got out of prison about 6 months ago and has a history of drug dependence so he’s fully aware of the difficulties of funding & managing a $200 to $300 a day habit.
Does anyone have thoughts on why she gets turned on by the abuse?
She says that when they have sex he frequently calls her a dirty fucking whore. They’ve done a few times of dripping hot candle wax on each other, pissed on each other once, and generally treat each other like shit. She says it really turns her on and she doesn’t know why. He knows that she was an addict and supported her habit by dancing. I asked if he knew that she used to turn tricks? She said, “ He’s not stupid”
He got out of prison about 6 months ago and has a history of drug dependence so he’s fully aware of the difficulties of funding & managing a $200 to $300 a day habit.
Does anyone have thoughts on why she gets turned on by the abuse?
Got something to say?
Start your own discussion
25 comments
I had a female friend who had two guys after her. One was an alcoholic and a coke head who would beat the shit out of her. The other was an environmental engineer who treated her like a treasure and wanted to take her back to Brazil. Guess who she chose?
Ive been in situations where I knew being the biggest asshole would get me the girl. And it did. Then one day I was like fuck it. I like treating bitches well. It became harder for a while.
Here is a psychologist’s explanation:
www.psychologytoday.com%2Fus%2Fblog%2Fstandard-deviations%2F201805%2Fgrowing-kinky-research-shows-how-kink-identity-is-formed&psig=AOvVaw1ll7E41t8EBtnjJWzBiEv0&ust=1544709390803732
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/…
The girl needs to be degraded. She’s made money for most all of her adult life as a dancer and as a whore who dances. She knows her worth is only between her legs. However, she’s not heard it stated so directly before. Guys who want to fuck strippers don’t approach them and call them filthy cum buckets - as they attempt to negotiate otc sex. I think initially she thought “WTF?!”- but then she realized that she is a filthy pig - as she’s sucked a lot of cock. So it’s now a huge turn on for her. It’s another taboo - and she’s drawn to being naughty and crossing boundaries - and this is one of the last ones she can still continue to cross.
She’s working to remain sober, she’s trying her hand at legit employment, she’s trying to settle down with an ex-con. It’s not a Disney movie - but it’s as close as this girl will come to being normal. Being called degrading names - taking a stream of warm frothy brew to the face - and other stuff - is her way of holding on and still feeling like she’s not becoming a boring old person who is devoid of sexuality...
Does anyone have thoughts on why she gets turned on by the abuse?
She probably “learned” that behavior during the period of “imprinting” most mammals have in their early years. Whatever is “taught/learned” during this impressionable period will be difficult to change later. She might have learned that from her father “abusive” (real or pretended) behavior toward her mother (little girls “want” to marry daddy or someone like daddy). She might have learned that because she was was abused (sexually and other ways) as a child and thinks that is “the way it supposed to be”. Since you mentioned they treat each other badly it is a there is a “willingness” to accept the abuse of for the sake of being in a “relationship “. The dynamic of the abuser and victim roles is a “match made in heaven”. We all have learned things that we don’t fully know how they were implanted, and I think she “learned” to be “turned on” by the abuse.
It is amazing how abusers and victims can find each other, it is like the “predators” can smell or sense the “prey”. It is part of “addiction” type of behavior.
All this behavior is difficult to change, because has the dynamics of addiction. She is the only person that can change it if she wants to.
Why don't you take responsibility for your own fuckedupness?
As for rough sex, its fun and its primal. A girl liking to get slapped, having you face fuck her or spit in her mouth. Fuck her so hard she screams in pain but begs for more. That's not abuse. Its consensual fun and blows off steam. Just like hate fucking does.
Choosing relationships where you're beaten up emotionally abused and shit, that's abuse.
By learning about the different types of abuse and what you can do to stop or prevent it, you can make a huge difference in your own or someone else’s life.”
Seriously? Because she's either completely fucked in the head or she's like many women who choose men based on either primitive or superficial factors (or both) or all 3. In addition, women who grew up either without a father (or good father figure) or were somehow abused emotionally or physically by their fathers have what is called "daddy issues" where their esteem can't sustain unless the primary male figure in their life (boy friend or husband) simulates this abuse. Being treated well is a turnoff to such women. The reason is that such women think of themselves as such shit that if you treat them decently then you must be a worse piece of shit than she believes she is, and if you treat her badly then you must be better than her and she desperately wants to fill that daddy role - yet the only daddy she knows abused her in one way or another, by leaving her, by mentally torturing her or by physically abusing her.
Don't try to save such women, don't try to win them over, don't try to understand them. They will suck your soul dry and think nothing of if. If she ever dumps this hosebag of a husband of hers, she will just move on to the same type of guy in 2-3 months. If you want this kind of girl eating out of the palm of your hands, you have to treat her like a piece of shit and you have to sustain that every second of every minute you are around her - and it has to be that way from the start. She can never see anything else from you. I don't know about you but I can't sustain that, so if I ever meet this type of woman no matter how much she turns me on and no matter how much I might want her, I just act like she is a mannequin. No second thoughts, no value.
Abuse is beating the shit out of her and fucking her when she says no.