I crossed the final frontier - told my wife I was SCing
PaulDrake
Off again on again PL
So last night I sat down an talked to my wife about my SC hobby. Told her how often I was going, and that I had made friends here (on tuscl) and in the club. It has gotten to a point that I feel like I have a whole secret life. I have been more tempted as of late to get into extras (still have not) and I even signed up and started testing the waters on SA. I think having a secret life is really toxic and it made it easy to rationalize going from an occasional LDK to fucking a sugar baby. If I'm already lying to her what's one more lie.
So I told her everything including my terrible porn addiction I had before. Going to the SC has been good for me and my marriage. My wife and I have very different needs and there are some things she can probably never give me. I have worked hard this year to figure out what I was getting in the SC and try to get that from her instead. If I had not been working on my marriage this year I think the honest conversation I had with her would have gone a lot worse.
So she was hurt but not at all devastated. At this point she seems totally willing to let me continue doing what I have been. And just try to be more honest with her.
So for those married guys on who have wives who tentatively accept their SCing:
What is a health amount to talk about with her? I don't think telling her every time I go with daily progress reports is the best idea. But not being able to tell her about someone who becomes a real friend is bad as well. At this point I think I am leaning towards telling her about really unique and interesting people/happenings.
So I told her everything including my terrible porn addiction I had before. Going to the SC has been good for me and my marriage. My wife and I have very different needs and there are some things she can probably never give me. I have worked hard this year to figure out what I was getting in the SC and try to get that from her instead. If I had not been working on my marriage this year I think the honest conversation I had with her would have gone a lot worse.
So she was hurt but not at all devastated. At this point she seems totally willing to let me continue doing what I have been. And just try to be more honest with her.
So for those married guys on who have wives who tentatively accept their SCing:
What is a health amount to talk about with her? I don't think telling her every time I go with daily progress reports is the best idea. But not being able to tell her about someone who becomes a real friend is bad as well. At this point I think I am leaning towards telling her about really unique and interesting people/happenings.
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20 comments
I'm a relative newbie ( not to viewing in SCs but to lap dancing), and telling my wife was difficult but liberating. She said she was ok with me going to SC (if not too often).
And lap dances? I asked. Long pause.
So a lap dance is basically her rubbing (her behind) on your boner? she asks.
While cuddling is happening I add.
Another long pause.
"I can see why you enjoy that" she says.
Then proceeded to tell me she trusts me to keep it at that level.
Oh wow I thought, (there was more to the conversation), and a heavy weight lifted.
Best but most difficult conversation.
Best luck to you.
Rememebr a lot of women still believe in Chris Rock's "no sex in the champagne room", and the girls are teasing cash from chumps rather than draining dicks.
What is a health amount to talk about with her? "
___________________________
Zero. Don't understand the point in hurting her feelings, but maybe it's therapy for you.
My wife doesn't know -- but cheating with millennials is meaningless, animal fun and nothing more.
I’m happy for you that it’s going well. I dislike it whenever I feel the need to hide things.
By the way, tell your wife it’s safer for you to go to the strip club than a bar. You’d have a better chance of
Having an affair with a girl at a local bar, because the dancers don’t want relationships, they want you’re wallet. Use the club as entertainment value, and you’ll be much happier at home, for both you and your wife.
My wife knows I go into clubs. But her image of a club is guys sit at the stage and throw $1 bills and drink beer. I'm not going to do anything to change her image.
Not all of us.
I am so incredibly happy I don’t have any need whatsoever to lie to her.