Driving a titty dancer
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
I was driving a titty dancer to work because she doesn't own a car and, frankly, I had nothing better to do.
Titty Dancer: "Mind if I smoke? It's weed, not a cigarette" She knows I don't like cigarettes. I voice no objections, and so she lights up.
Titty Dancer: "Why don't you ask me over to your house anymore? I haven't seen you in months."
Me: "The last time you never showed up. You didn't answer my texts or calls."
Titty Dancer: "You're always so sarcastic to me. You think I'm stupid."
Me: "I wasn't being sarcastic. I was just stating a fact."
The titty dancer puts her hand on my thigh.
Titty Dancer: "I've missed you. I haven't had sex in months."
Me: "What about your boyfriend Bobby?"
Titty Dancer: "He never touches me. I think he's gay. He's working as a dancer in a gay strip club."
Titty Dancer: "Oh, shit! Is that the time? If I'm late they're going to fine me $50."
I speed up and soon take the Wayne Rd exit from I-94. A few seconds after getting on Wayne Rd, a car pulls up behind me with lights flashing. Fuck. A cop.
A Romulus, MI, police officer asks for my license and registration. I'm hoping he doesn't smell the weed. He says I didn't stop at the stop sign and issues me a ticket.
I proceed on toward the club.
Titty Dancer: "You should go to court and fight the ticket."
Me: "I don't think a Romulus judge will believe me over a Romulus cop. This is a way the city makes money." I had thought I had come to a complete stop, but I probably rolled through.
I pull into the Landing Strip lot. The valet rushes toward the car, thinking he's going to earn a good tip from a BMW owner, but then backs off when he sees titty dancer getting out.
Titty Dancer: "Thanks, sweetheart. I love you."
She hurries into the club in high heels--all hair and tight clothes and hot body. All I've got out of driving a titty dancer is a traffic ticket.
Titty Dancer: "Mind if I smoke? It's weed, not a cigarette" She knows I don't like cigarettes. I voice no objections, and so she lights up.
Titty Dancer: "Why don't you ask me over to your house anymore? I haven't seen you in months."
Me: "The last time you never showed up. You didn't answer my texts or calls."
Titty Dancer: "You're always so sarcastic to me. You think I'm stupid."
Me: "I wasn't being sarcastic. I was just stating a fact."
The titty dancer puts her hand on my thigh.
Titty Dancer: "I've missed you. I haven't had sex in months."
Me: "What about your boyfriend Bobby?"
Titty Dancer: "He never touches me. I think he's gay. He's working as a dancer in a gay strip club."
Titty Dancer: "Oh, shit! Is that the time? If I'm late they're going to fine me $50."
I speed up and soon take the Wayne Rd exit from I-94. A few seconds after getting on Wayne Rd, a car pulls up behind me with lights flashing. Fuck. A cop.
A Romulus, MI, police officer asks for my license and registration. I'm hoping he doesn't smell the weed. He says I didn't stop at the stop sign and issues me a ticket.
I proceed on toward the club.
Titty Dancer: "You should go to court and fight the ticket."
Me: "I don't think a Romulus judge will believe me over a Romulus cop. This is a way the city makes money." I had thought I had come to a complete stop, but I probably rolled through.
I pull into the Landing Strip lot. The valet rushes toward the car, thinking he's going to earn a good tip from a BMW owner, but then backs off when he sees titty dancer getting out.
Titty Dancer: "Thanks, sweetheart. I love you."
She hurries into the club in high heels--all hair and tight clothes and hot body. All I've got out of driving a titty dancer is a traffic ticket.
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15 comments
Did you do any mongering in London?
I figured she owed me for that and told her to suck my dick. So there I was doing 65mph on I-26 with illegal drugs in the car and a stripper giving me a BBBJ. Nothing more happened but I doubt that I will ever get conned like that again.
"I doubt that I will ever get conned like that again."
Even at our wise and advanced age, we can still fall for the sexy young female. Maybe even easier than we did 50 years ago. :)