I was driving a titty dancer to work because she doesn't own a car and, frankly, I had nothing better to do.
Titty Dancer: "Mind if I smoke? It's weed, not a cigarette" She knows I don't like cigarettes. I voice no objections, and so she lights up.
Titty Dancer: "Why don't you ask me over to your house anymore? I haven't seen you in months."
Me: "The last time you never showed up. You didn't answer my texts or calls."
Titty Dancer: "You're always so sarcastic to me. You think I'm stupid."
Me: "I wasn't being sarcastic. I was just stating a fact."
The titty dancer puts her hand on my thigh.
Titty Dancer: "I've missed you. I haven't had sex in months."
Me: "What about your boyfriend Bobby?"
Titty Dancer: "He never touches me. I think he's gay. He's working as a dancer in a gay strip club."
Titty Dancer: "Oh, shit! Is that the time? If I'm late they're going to fine me $50."
I speed up and soon take the Wayne Rd exit from I-94. A few seconds after getting on Wayne Rd, a car pulls up behind me with lights flashing. Fuck. A cop.
A Romulus, MI, police officer asks for my license and registration. I'm hoping he doesn't smell the weed. He says I didn't stop at the stop sign and issues me a ticket.
I proceed on toward the club.
Titty Dancer: "You should go to court and fight the ticket."
Me: "I don't think a Romulus judge will believe me over a Romulus cop. This is a way the city makes money." I had thought I had come to a complete stop, but I probably rolled through.
I pull into the Landing Strip lot. The valet rushes toward the car, thinking he's going to earn a good tip from a BMW owner, but then backs off when he sees titty dancer getting out.
Titty Dancer: "Thanks, sweetheart. I love you."
She hurries into the club in high heels--all hair and tight clothes and hot body. All I've got out of driving a titty dancer is a traffic ticket.
Comments
last commentCool story bro. Glad they didn’t hassle you about the weed, and if you were trafficking sex.
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I'm sure you'll be on her mind later that night while she's blowing her BF and you're sitting at home eating your lasagna
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Well, at least she'll be thinking about him.
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If she works at a Detroit area strip club how can she not have had sex in months?
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Mmmmmm. Lasagna!!!!!
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OT:
Did you do any mongering in London?
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About 10 years ago, I was leaving my hotel to go get a late breakfast and ran into a stripper that I knew from the club that was staying at the same hotel. She asked me to drive her to a friends house. I didn't want to but some times strippers can get you to do what you don't want to. It was about a 20 minute drive and when we got there she asked me to wait for her. WTF. I had just planned on dropping her off. After 5 minutes she came out of the run down trailor and asked me to drive her back to the hotel. Well at least it was on the way. As soon as we got on the interstate she pulls out a bag and starts snorting coke. Yeah. I had just taken her to her drug dealer.
I figured she owed me for that and told her to suck my dick. So there I was doing 65mph on I-26 with illegal drugs in the car and a stripper giving me a BBBJ. Nothing more happened but I doubt that I will ever get conned like that again.
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A dancer at Landing Strip who hasn't had sex in six months? Rarer than a unicorn!
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^Electronman: don't you mean rarer that a HERD of unicorns. LOL
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Dancer boyfriend that doesn't have sex with the dancer?!?! She has not had sex for months!?!? ...and she works at an extra club. Those lies reach a very high level of bullshit.
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sc,
"I doubt that I will ever get conned like that again."
Even at our wise and advanced age, we can still fall for the sexy young female. Maybe even easier than we did 50 years ago. :)
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Good story bro. What would the vellet do if you dropped her off in the shit truck? I bet he would be excited to drive it
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I bet the dancer would have told you to pull over and hop in the sleeper. She would not want to go to work after she saw the sleeper amenities
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Jack that is the story of my life up there. Remember, no good deed goes unpunished.
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I was about to say the same quote lol. Just terrible when you are just trying to do something good for someone ugh
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