Well, again, it depends on how it unfolds. Usually what you want is a one on one interaction where the communication is good enough to establish or deny consent.
So then these external things like innate willingness, or reasons for engaging, are pushed to the margins.
I do think that selling dances is a precarious situation, as there is an expectation being created, and there is the idea that something has been purchased. This is ripe for problems.
Better, is front room generosity and contact. Even sometimes in one of your local clubs there was a tradition of tip plus feel up. Not every girl went for it, but many did.
Better than buying dances. Direct person to person communications, not some prior established expectations.
We read here about guys talking about ROB's. Most of the time that is not really what was going on. ROB is a more serious thing. What is happening is just crossed wires.
So let me think of an example, see our above ground clubs are no touching, and basically no back rooms. Okay, but things are looser at our underground circuit.
- Girl dancing for me, which means at my chair, grinding between my things, accepting $1 tips, doing some titties in face. Talk, usually with nuzzling and lifting up her hair. Turns out I know her sister. This girl seem to like me. Later, girl with arm around my neck, cheek to cheek. I gently take hold of her shoulders and move her so she is right in front of my face, and let her see that I am going to initiate open tongue kissing. She goes for it at once and without reservation. Then she follows up by getting face up on all fours over my chair, giving me a covered psuedo DATY. I give her little kiss right next to what her panties cover.
So all of this with zero explicit discussion about physical contact. In an AMP it would have continued to real nice Makeout, Daty, BJ, FS. All with no need for explicit discussion.
In a higher mileage strip club, it could have been the same way.
So as I see it, whether or not the girl is a civvie, or what her real motivations and intents are, is not important. She is consenting and encouraging.
And then as widely reported on black strip clubs dot net, girl sits herself down on guy's lap. Starts licking his neck and nibbling at his ear. In my view, she is defying him to start verbally coming on to her and making out with her.
TUSCL members have affirmed that in the Mixed Race dives, all the girls do it the same way.
So my points are:
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Civvie status and girl's reason for being there are superseded by her active participation. Verbal discussion about limits only needed if wires get crossed.
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Buying dances makes things much more negative and unnatural. Committing to an amount of time and amount of money, and then there are expectations. My view is that this is no good, it is for chumps, but it is also just a bad way of interacting with the girl.
Am I understanding you properly Nicole? Seems like what you are getting at are the problems which can occur with the selling of dances. I appreciate this. But I see problems as being far less with unstructured non-committal front room interactions.
Guy should save back room until it is time for his own pants to come down.
Guys have posted about things like putting a couple of $ on the tip rail, then getting his drink. Girl finishes, starts stripper hand shake. She does not stop the stripper hand shake. She suggests they move to another seating area, for 'privacy'.
I feel that this girl would have been very ammenible to DFKing. But guy did not try to initiate. He tries to get hand in her panties, she helps him, goes to FIV. No dicsussion about any of this. Stripper handshake continues.
They go into dance booth, still no discussion, not even discussion about money.
Tab A in slot B, goes very well. He asks her how much money she wants, he pays her.
I don't think anyone was doing anything wrong.
From my perspective, better to pick the girl, show generosity and get friendly, and get that front room makeout session going, then in the back room, then he should take her home with him to continue.
I believe this girls would likely have gone for all that.
But get my point, it is the 'dances' concept which causes the problem. Just one on one interaction tends to go real well, and ususally explict verbal permissions are not needed.
In AMPs, it usually worked that way, intitial words and makeout session, maybe girl asks for money then, maybe not, but she will always get it at the end either way. Then civilian extended makeout session and oral, and FS.
No problems, because there is no selling of dances.
Selling Dances is a bum deal.
SJG