Nicespice wrote:
"Me personally: I have an eccentric personality and I definitely do not fall prey to “herd think”. When I find a social group/workplace culture/etc and figure out what the concensus view is on something, I immediately start looking for the holes and questing it. "
Well obviously this is not true, as you are trivializing Nichole's OP, "...Why is that the first thing we tell our children is to become SOMETHING, but the last thing we tell them is to be themselves..."
So you do not really mean what you say. If you meant what you said, then you would be the strongest supporter of those who are finding conflict on the horizon and know that they first and foremost need to be themselves.
And then if you meant what you said, even understood the ramifications of what you are saying, then you would not be rejecting, you would be supporting what I said in my first post, responding to Nichole.
"But what the parent does not understand is that desire and interest can never really be separated, making an image and having original insights and creativity are important in everything you do."
Nicespice also wrote, "And I disagree that the rich are more restricted in what they can do. The ones who choose to be in the public eye are , certainly. But otherwise, they have a lot of leeway."
I do not agree with this at all. Most everybody, especially the rich who have parents who are still married, have to face parental expectations. And these parents are living in Bad Faith, not living up to their own values. So the box which the rich young adult has been painted into is extremely small. And I believe that it is this kind of issue which Nicole is posting about.
I cite as an example here Sr. Helen Prejean, coming from a very well off family, and having then only one escape route, a celibate religious vocation. Even though Catholicism has always presented itself as pitched at the poor, a very high portion of religious vocations are coming from the well off, seeking and escape route. And it has always been like this.
Now I know locally a very promintent attorney, who's son, likely gay, has rejected 4 year college and instead become a cook. He is very happy. But this attorney mother is rare, she comments on how different her son is from herself. She is willing to learn from her children.
This idea is advanced by Rollo May, and you also see somthing of this in the Book of Tobit, and the Jesuit Order calling that the book of family, as they see in it a stupid senile idiot of a father, but in the end he is able to learn from his son. I tell you this is rare. Usually people like that just get more and more senile until they really are asking people to kill them every time they open their mouth.
In British Columbia one would just call Trevor Todd in Vancouver. He will send someone out once to talk to senile suicidal testators. If that does not work, then he files under the Wills Variation Act. Then under BC law, the more the testators fight it, the more they get squashed. That is how it works in BC.
In the US, we have nothing like that. Among nations we are very backwards in this area. In Civil Law Countries there is no reason to even need a lawyer to solve the problem. The will is just automatically treated like toilet paper.
So there is usually going to be a serious conflict between parents who do not live up to their own values and them trying to harm their children, even having had children just so that they could do this, and a child who sees what is wrong with this, and tries to protect themselves.
And as is well known in child protection circles, the more money the parents have, the harder it is to protect the child.
Poor people do not hire their own doctors, but the well off do.
Public service doctors comply with mandatory reporting, but private practice doctors would not be in business if they complied with this. So it is the doctor's government issued license which allows the child abuse to continue. The child will be diagnosed with something and put on something, more often than not.
The rich are very powerful, and the child has few resources available.
Paul Mones, a very interesting man, and I got to shake his hand in front of the court house.
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Reply to Dominic77 will be coming
SJG