Sub-Par service for a top tier customer....Perplexed and Confused

John_Longwood
California
I've wondered what it would be like to have the resources to become one of those guys that has a dancer sit next to him all night long.

Once the girl sees those particular customers come into the club they get happier than a kid on christmas morning and hey him with extra and special attention.

I met a dancer when I didn't have the resources and have been her regular for almost two years now, both ITC and OTC. Now that I have the resources I spend some serious cash on her now but I don't receive the treatment that I should, given the amount of money I spend on her.

If I come see her at the club she's not excited to see me at all. She'll sit down and make no effort to start conversations or to even keep them going. She acts distant and aloof and create space between us. For purposes of this comment, let's call that dancer, dancer "Z".

On a recent visit this happened and the night ended in argument started by none other than her. When I met her I was naive and probably still am because I like her and she's knows it. On this particular visit she spent a minimal amount of time with me. She was then called up to the stage to dance and danced a total of two songs. I was the only customer sitting by the tip rail and tipped her a good amount of singles. She'll usually come close to me if I'm the only customer by the tip rail and encourage touching while making eye contact. This time she had a serious expression on her face and did even bother to make contact while she danced in the distance.

The last straw came after dance when instead of coming back to sit with me, she approached another customer on the opposite side of the dance floor. I don't intend to interfere with her hustle by any means, but for the sugar daddy that I've become, I should get priority over other customers.

Unlike with me, she sat really close to this other customer, and whispered something to him. She was talking so close to him that it almost appeared as though they were making out. They didn't have a long conversation, probably only spoke for less than minute, it what appeared to be the two discussing "arrangements"....Then off they went to the VIP Room.

This particular club is not known for stage shows or lap dances. It is well known for extras and UHM and there is no way that someone will pay over a bill for "just a dance" in VIP. They enter the VIP area together although she came right back out and headed towards the dressing room. On her way there she told me "that guy is going to be disappointed he only has money for the VIP room but doesn't have money extras...watch".

What's with all of the explanations? To me that signifies a guilty conscience because nobody asked her anything. She went back to the VIP room and was in there for about 20 minutes or so. When they came back out, the customer had a smile on his face from ear to ear. He went back to sit with his buddies and it appeared as though he was telling them a good story about his experience. Hardly the reaction of someone has just received a lackluster "regular" dance.....That's when I decided to even the score.

I scoped out the room for the baddest dancer (let's call her dancer "X") there and when I found her I approached her. I introduced my self, shot the shit with her, and then asked her coyly about the dances. I asked her if the VIP room would offer "more fun". Lo behold before dancer X could respond, dancer Z my regular go to girl comes out of nowhere and interrupts us. She is visibly upset and angry and tells me "oh really what is going on right here....I thought that you came here to see me....If you just want to dance with her then go ahead dance with her" in a very very upset tone.

I don't know why but I chased after her and basically begged Dancer Z for a dance. An argument between ensued and she was telling me that "she wasn't about that", "that we should just stop talking to each other if that's the case", and was "telling me that I wasn't being loyal to her". She also continued to adamantly deny that she did any extras with the other customer, but that's neither here nor there, I'm not there to interfere with her hustle.

My issue with her is the dishonesty, she can't tell that the guy creampied her and it doesn't make a difference because at least she was being honest, it is the lies that I'm not cool with. I don't understand why she isn't upfront about what happened because even I though feel something special for her (and deep down I may not like) I logical enough to understand that, that is her bread and butter. What also upsets me is the fact that the she doesn't reciprocate or provide good companionship for the outrageous amount of money that I spend on her....At this point I've probably could've attained some sort of degree with that money..lol....And if that is the case and she doesn't feel what I feel about her then that's fine....We can treat this as a client/vendor situation and if the vendor is not providing the level of service that she is being paid for then she will be replaced WITH ANOTHER VENDOR.......What I don't understand is her outburst and rage over my talking to another dancer!!!.....Why the jealousy?? Any thoughts, fellas?

36 comments

Latest

twentyfive
6 years ago
Just stripper shit next time you go there get some dances with the other girl, there are lots of girls that’ll give you your moneys worth. I’d fire the first one, in fact I’d a fired her on the spot just for trying to play me.
John_Longwood
6 years ago
twentyfive....Not gonna lie I actually love this girl........But she's not worth the effort OR THE MONEY!!!.....Plenty of other girls are cool AF, chill, and all about customer service!!
twentyfive
6 years ago
Get over it you are being used, watch her reaction to you finding another to fall in lust with, loving thes girls as a rule is a recipe for disaster.
John_Longwood
6 years ago
twentyfive......Amen....I can't wait to see her reaction for real....If she got that upset over me talking to another girl imagine what her reaction will be when she finds out that she got replaced....lmao
twentyfive
6 years ago
She didn’t get as upset as you thought that’s what I’m trying to tell you it’s just stripper shit, you got to do pl shit in return or you’ll just get your wallet cleaned out.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
Too long an explanation, didn't read it all.

Possible reasons a dancer changes her behavior:

* they get complacent and take the regular for granted as if he will always be there giving her what she want$

* she's going thru some shit in her personal life, affecting her behavior at the club

* the regular is not being as generou$ as he thinks he is or that she thinks she deserves for what she puts in

* the regular becomes too demanding/overbearing/clingy as if he was her S.O. - he expects her to treat him not only as if he's the only guy in the ckub but the only guy in the world - the regular basically wants/expects/desires her to act as a S.O. and not a business transaction

* she never liked the regular to begin with but put up with it bc of the $$$ till she couldn't put up with it anymore
TFP
6 years ago
Yeah I don't get it. How could you love a girl that treats you like that? If you spend this exorbitant amount of money on her like you say and still get subpar service I don't see what the delay is. Get rid of her immediately.
Subraman
6 years ago
You've violated rule #2, Don't be a little bitch. Or, assuming this isn't a troll, you've become a RIL. All of this is indicative of the fact that, 1. she feels entitled, 2. she has no respect for you and knows she can easily manipulate you however she wants, 3. she doesn't value you as a regular (I'm guessing that however much $ you're paying her, you are also adding a LOT of emotional overhead and demands that just aren't worth it to her anymore).

There is exactly one way out of this: recognize she doesn't love you back, and that she is not giving you the experience you desire, and that given the dynamics you will never again get the experience you desire from her, so move on, and take this as a lesson not to make the same dumb mistake again
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
As we often say around here - "a strip club is not a girlfriend supermarket"
TacoBob
6 years ago
This is such a common story that it’s trite. You have feelings for someone who doesn’t have them back. You’re trying to get her to pretend like she has feelings by throwing more and more money her way. But that just makes this more and more of a business transaction for her. Take it from someone who dated a dancer—the more she likes you, the *less* you’ll be asked to spend over time.

You’re never actually going to get those feelings reciprocated. (The real life equivalent would be you trying to “befriend” a girl who doesn’t like you back, doing shit for her and giving her a bunch of gifts in the hopes of approximating the intimacy of a real relationship.)

Yes, she’ll get jealous if she thinks she’s losing you as a source of income. And you played right into it by chasing after her instead of staying with the new dancer. The healthiest thing for you will literally be to just cut it off now. You don’t have the distance or objectivity to actually treat this like a vendor/client relationship. And she doesn’t like you enough to make it anything more.
SebastianCobb
6 years ago
Papi

- It's very possible.

- She is but why the attitude only with me?

- I've given her up to $1,000 for nothing in exchange.....That's a level of generosity that's kind of hard to beat or match.

- I don't expect that but what I do expect that I'm given that extra attention that anyone that spends a lot of money gets, at least this holds true with other girls. Furthermore the issue is also being placed at the bottom of the lineup. I ask for PRIORITY not exclusivity!!!.....I don't think this would've been an issue if I would've been the first batter up not the one "hitting cleanup".

- It's also very possible.
Jascoi
6 years ago
man. john. you have been much too involved with this girl z. this is supposed to be FUN.
mark94
6 years ago
It’s a business arrangement. As a result, you should ask for a service and agree on a price. If you are disappointed in the service, find another provider.

Instead, you give her $1,000 for nothing in exchange.....then are disappointed when she doesn’t read your mind.

Try that approach the next time you hire a plumber and see how well things turn out.
SirLapdancealot
6 years ago
I didn't quite have the same blow off as you but there was a point in my relationship with my ATF DS where she took for granted that I would wait indefinitely for her and that she could get a few quick dances in with those customers before spending more time with me. It reached a point where we got into a fight ITC in the dance booth itself. But long story short it came down to misunderstood expectations. She took things about me for granted and I took things about her for granted. And the fight actually allowed me to make my expectations crystal clear with her to the point that now she meets them perfectly and I get exactly what I want whenever I visit. Things are better than ever with her. She treats me like a king now and better than her other customers.

As long as you are investing more into her than other customers and you are decent to sit with, she should absolutely treat you better and with more priority, but it seems like she is taking advantage of you because YOU LET HER. Somehow you need to set your expectations with her and if she doesn't want to meet them you simply move on and drop her cold turkey. LOL trust me, no stripper wants to lose a reliable regular. That's your leverage. Use it.
K
6 years ago
Why only you? It may not be only you, you just pay attention to hiw she treats you.

Other guys she treats poorly never repeat with her.

She knows she can treat you with contempt and you will be back. She might even think you like it.

Man up. Tell her clearly what you want. Take your business to another lady if she doesnt give you what you want
SirLapdancealot
6 years ago
^ Also my ATF DS knows that I go see other strippers at other clubs and I WANT her to know that so she understands that she doesn't have a monopoly over me. Always have backup strippers.
Subraman
6 years ago
-->"and you are decent to sit with"

I'd guess there's no way a RIL like this isn't bringing in an overwhelming amount of emotional baggage ... aside from the fact that she has no respect for him, the emotional baggage is so overwhelming that she's more than willing to lose him. This is a no-lose situation for her: either get rid of her most needy and draining customer, or continue making him pay $$$ for her to shit on him
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
Not being there hard to know who's at fault - some dancers have issues with most custies and some custies have issues with most dancers, until they either learn to play the game right, or decide strip clubs are not for them
SirLapdancealot
6 years ago
@Subraman agreed. nicespice, my ATF DS, and other strippers have already confirmed that the most emotionally needy PLs are a royal pain in the ass.

LOL once my ATF DS realized that all I want is maximum time with a boner and that is the only reason I go to see her so much, she also realized that I'm her easiest regular, too, and started treating me as such. As Papi just stated, she started playing the game right. LOL now, unsolicited, she's always telling me I'm a huge bright spot in her day when I come in because she can just relax and doesn't have to cater to my emotions like her other regulars. She has a few that have relationship and women issues and they are constantly jealous of her with other customers (me included) and need her to just sit and listen to them wallow in their misery. With me she just has to wiggle her ass on my dick for half an hour before getting dances and then give me an LDK. Easy peasy.
nicespice
6 years ago
I had an ex regular who tried to do the “there’s another dancer but I’m focused on you right now” thing to try to hold it over my head. I asked who she was, then I called her over and we did a ton of double dances.

Without knowing your motives for being in a club, it’s hard for me to comment. There’s a lot of drama that both customers and dancers like to do.

And Sirlap also said it well.
JeffTUSCL
6 years ago
This dynamic plays out also in the sugar daddy world. I was seeing a girl for a long time, not a stripper - normal girl, it was an arrangement, and we began dating normally without any allowance. I would still give her some cash when we had sex but was not a lot. She seemed to be happy with the arrangement for months and then I made the mistake of falling for her. The problem is when you fall for someone and there is any length of time where they are not giving you back the "love" you want, tensions get created and if she is having any life situations you are not aware of then it feels to both people like some dynamic has changed. If you don't play it well then the tension turns into jealousy for both - in different ways for each person but still jealousy. Jealousy is tied to a lack of trust and when 2 people who care about each other start having trust issues it leads to the dynamic you described.

You have to cool your jets and realize this isn't a normal relationship. You must not be jealous and not seek any form of revenge, it will just break the dynamic apart. Instead focus on what made the relationship good for you, remain consistent, and most importantly make sure communication is the main focus during times of tensions. Just ask her if all is OK in her life, and if she wants to know why you're asking just let her know it's because she seems more distant than before with you. Any more than that will just create drama.

At this point it may be too late, you've already played out drama with her. In a normal relationship this can be cured but these dynamics are not intended for real feelings. You may be confused, it is hard to distance yourself emotionally in these situations, but realize that if she ever had real emotions for you other than your wallet she would have taken steps to make sure the relationship expanded beyond the transnational.
georgmicrodong
6 years ago
Maybe you’re not the “top tier” customer you think you are.

Maybe it’s only the money that makes her look at you without disgust, disdain or nothing in her eyes.
flagooner
6 years ago
Stereotypical RIL and she knows she has you wrapped around her finger. This sounds like the equivalent to being friend zoned by the head cheerleader in HS. My advice is to cut the cord cold turkey or there will likely be stalking behavior in the future.
Countryman5434
6 years ago
Go to tj!
PaulDrake
6 years ago
That relationship sounds super toxic. You obviously are hurt, angry and distrustful of this girl and she can most likely sense that negative energy.

Also I have no doubt if we asked her for her side of the story it would probably sound a lot different.

In the past I had a slightly toxic relationship with a CF and was able to super successfully fix it. But it was no where nearly as far gone as you are. My advice would be to step back and first look at yourself. You are probably doing something wrong here. Second figure out what you want and don't be little bitch about it.
Corvus
6 years ago
I fired a favorite a couple of years ago. Had a great OTC relationship going for close to four years, not weekly, hell, not even monthly, but it worked for both of us. Hardly ever saw her in the club the last year or so.

It was well understood what I wanted and expected for the agreed upon price. But the last few times she disrespected my time and money. The last time she left my hotel room I deleted her number from my phone before she had reached her car to leave. And this girl was stunningly beautiful and just about physically perfect in my opinion. A goddess if there ever was one. But I wasn't going to put up with her shit any longer.

The last few times I was in her club she was surprised I hadn't texted her before coming. I simply told her I had lost her number. The first time she was a bit confused, the second time I could tell she understood I was done.

Damn, I miss that girl but without her in my monger life I have met a lot of other hot dancers I wouldn't have otherwise.

Drop your girl, dancer Z, and start finding out there are many, many others out there who can easily take her place.
DeclineToState
6 years ago
Time to move on. With you saying you're in love, consider moving on to another club while you get over it (though that might not be your easy option, given you say the club is known for extras and UHM, if that's what your clubbing requires).
Why are you posting in this same thread with 2 aliases - JohnLockwood and SebastianCobb - troll, perhaps?
Hank Moody
6 years ago
This is a troll. Nobody is this pathetic. Either way, welcome to Ignore.
GACA
6 years ago
John_Longwood was the original OP name, so why did Sebastian_Cobb reply to Papi statement like he was the original OP, I'll tell ya why... actually y'all can just come to the same easy conclusion for yourselves
two_bits
6 years ago
"This is a troll."

Duh. Obvious from the very beginning, all the trademarks of a (juice) troll post: first post from a brand new "member," trollish user name, overly long post, on a topic that members can't resist pontificating about.
flagooner
6 years ago
@GACA. Good catch.

I don't always look at the poster's name as I read the post. I assumed that response was by the OP and didn't realize it was a different name.
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
I assume some may post under a pseudonym bc they're concerned they'll catch shit for their post or somehow make them look bad - thus not necessarily a troll but who knows
DeclineToState
6 years ago
Before questioning troll hood I saw this SebastianCobb had 17 discussions, all about an ATF and RIL-dom and no reviews. So if he is a troll he got a lot of us for a long time
Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
^ good catch - maybe he felt his old handle had a bad rep and thus tried a new handle
TheeOSU
6 years ago
"John_Longwood was the original OP name, so why did Sebastian_Cobb reply to Papi statement like he was the original OP, I'll tell ya why... actually y'all can just come to the same easy conclusion for yourselves"


The OP composes a novel with his first post, which I didn't even try to read and it never ceases to amaze me how guys here line up to respond. No wonder this forum is the worldwide breeding ground for trolls.



Papi_Chulo
6 years ago
The replies are still interesting and may help others (newbs/lurkers)
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