Do you tell them you are married ?

avatar for Warrior15
Warrior15
Anywhere there are Titties.
I'm pretty much an honest person. If someone asks me a question, I"m going to tell them the truth. So in the past, when a stripper asks me if I'm married, I tell them yes. Actually, I have always thought that made me a little less of a threat to the girls. They then knew that this was strictly a business transaction. Sure, I want the GFE from the girls, but they didn't feel like I expected anything after our time was up.

But I read one of the Articles and the writer brought up this subject. He did not tell any of the girls that he was married. He did not want the girls to be conflicted in that they were helping men to "cheat". Now the writer of the article was referring to Latinas who are mostly Catholic girls. So possibly that might matter to them more. OR do most strippers just feel as though all men are cheats, and it just doesn't matter ?

So those of you that are married, do you tell your stripper that you are married ? And even the unmarried guys, what is your take on this ?

28 comments

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avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
7 years ago
The vast majority of strippers don’t care if you are married. And the very few that I’ve met who did care were newbies who will either get over it quickly or get out. When most of your customers are married men, you either get used to dancing for married men or you quit.

Several dancers who do otc have also told me that they prefer married men. A few have said they won’t otc with single guys. They think the single guys might fall in love and become stalkers but the married guys are just looking to get some pussy before they go back to the old ball and chain.

For me I dont give ive a shit. When I was married I told the strippers that I was married. After the divorce I told them I was single. All they care about is my money.

avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 years ago
If I am asked about being married I always say yes. If they ask if she knows I am there I always say yes. If they ask if she has been to a strip club I always say yes. If they ask if I am happily married I always say just as happy after 28 years as I was the day we met. A few of my buds believe that is the reason i get great lap dances: women trust other women and speaking well of my wife makes me different that those who berate them and seemingly more acceptable, since I am accepted by another woman.
avatar for max_starr
max_starr
7 years ago
I wear my wedding ring and always tell them I'm married...

1) being married seems to attract hella lot of girls for some reason
2) I have nothing bad to say about my wife. Though I used to complain about lack of attention, that wasn't all her fault...and its no longer true...
3) I seem to get attention when I mention I have kids too...something about married dads.

I don't see what lying gets you...Don't lie about being married....Don't lie about going to SC's
avatar for ATACdawg
ATACdawg
7 years ago
It's not like you can hide it in any case. Even if a man, or woman for that matter, removes a ring, the evidence is still there on your finger.

You may as well tell the truth.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
I've been divorced for 15 years after 27 years of marriage and although I did not do a lot of clubbing during my married years, it never seemed to make any difference in the way I was treated. As a single guy it still doesn't make any difference. Maybe my age makes me less of a threat.

Here is a new twist "Do you live alone?". I have to wonder what is on her mind as she also has invited me to her place to cook me a salmon diner with a glass of wine.
avatar for abqspencer
abqspencer
7 years ago
I tell them I’m married and she knows I go to clubs, never been a big deal. Although one was shocked when I told her, as she pointed to my ring finger...no Ring and I don’t nor wear one so no marks.
avatar for max_starr
max_starr
7 years ago
OMG you just reminded me of walking around in vegas....."Are you alone?" 150x in an hour from hot women.....One of them even had me convinced for 5 min she was not p4p then broke it to me...I had to give her props on the acting it was phenomenal...She actually had me chasing her at the end of the night, but I ended up with another....I think someone else hired her before i could book...
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
When I was married - I told strippers I was married. Now that I’m divorced - I tell them that I’m divorced.

It’s not an issue either way. It seems they are just as attracted to my green friends!
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
I always wear my ring to the club and tell them I am married. Only was an issue once where a young stripper said she doesnt fuck married guys but would give me a BJ. Stripper ethics...

I agree I get the impression that most then figure you are not a threat and wont stalk them as a potential GF or something. I think some may get the thrill and ego boost of being the girl that is more desirable than his wife of x years.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
It never cums up because eye always where my wring. Most dancers assume guise my age are married as a default unless their is evidence two the contrary. Its like married until proven otherwise.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
7 years ago
Years ago, I did not tell the strippers I was married, specifically because "the less they know about my real life, the better". Besides, especially as a variety guy, WTF did it matter if I was married or not?

When I switched my SC model to CFing and ATFing, I started telling the girls I was married. Why? Because I found that especially with my ATFs, I enjoyed a "send fun or sex texts to each other during the week" interaction, which both gave me a fun break from my day from time to time, and got me sexed up and looking forward to see her again. But it also let me say up front, "if I don't text you back, it's because my wife is there, I'll get back to you when I can", so she wouldn't get irritated if I disappeared in the middle of texting, or didn't reply back for hours (or until the next day). It also had a nice side effect -- with my ATFs, at least, I sometimes got comfortable enough to do a little venting about my wife when I got drunk, then she would invariably complain about her BF, therapeutic all around :)

I do think the "don't tell her you're married because she might have moral qualms about helping you cheat" is... not credible. It would not factor into my thinking one bit. If you CF her and see her often, she will figure it out regardless; I suspect if the stripper has any negative reaction at all, it's more likely around the fact that you're lying about such a dumb thing
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
7 years ago
@skibum: Your answers to those questions pretty much mirror mine, and my results have always been positive.
avatar for wallanon
wallanon
7 years ago
Strippers don't care until they start to like you.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
The remark that I have heard before about strippers not having sex with married guys is true comedy gold. ;)
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
7 years ago
I don’t know for sure but I’m guessing it doesn’t matter much in the usual situations and casual clubbing and probably works best if they think you are being truthful about something that really doesn’t matter there. You’re already there, they have encountered lots of guys, and so forth.

Wallanon probably makes a good point for when they may actually start to like us but I don’t think that’s all that common, in spite of our belief that they are really into us.
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
7 years ago
I don’t really think *any* conversation subject matters a great deal, as long as you’re spending money.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
> For me I dont give ive a shit. When I was married I told the strippers that I was married. After the divorce I told them I was single.

Honey badger eats cobras!
avatar for galiziabob.sabbatical
galiziabob.sabbatical
7 years ago
I have told strippers I am married, and some I just keep that to myself and say no. I have not noticed a difference except with my ATF because now I have to keep up a lie which I don't like, plus it's hard.
What's interesting is the idea that telling a stripper your married, then they "might not want to get involved with you because your cheating" mentality has never really clicked in my brain. These girls are strippers, grinding on numerous dudes a night, some offering more. Why in the world would they have that "thought of morals" when they usually don't have too many morals to begin with. Not saying all strippers are bad or anything, or moral less people but to grind on dudes dicks or offer extras to random strangers takes some change of mindset. Never understood that so I don't care really. I think almost all are just after the $, so they don't really care on average.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
I find that I like a Kafkaesque kind of high, where you be the stripper. (ref: Naked Lunch, the film)
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
7 years ago
I have no problem telling them. Most don't mind and some actually seem to prefer it, especially the OTC girls who don't want p4p customers to "fall in love" and/or turn into stalkers.

Maybe once a year I'll run into some new girl who will be put off by it. Invariably this type of girl is one who doesn't yet understand that married guys often represent a fair % of the affluent customer base in most clubs. Anyway, it's not my job to educate baby strippers, so I normally just send them away in these isolated cases.
avatar for JimOsterberg
JimOsterberg
7 years ago
Didn't read all the comments, TBH, just skipped ahead to the part of adding my $0.02

Strippers don't give a fuck! Morally conflicted? Please, if anyone runs into a stripper who is morally conflicted about taking money from a married man exchange for rubbing his dick, please post here.

I did tell the "I how I met my wife" story to one stripper recently, and she loved it and talked about her divorce. I can guarantee there was not moral conflict there.
avatar for a21985
a21985
7 years ago
I do if it comes up. I always wear my ring, so many ask anyways. I'm upfront, don't talk shit about my wife and let the dancer know the wife is still #1 but I'm just looking for something physical on the side with no strings. I've never had a dancer get outwardly weirded out by it, if anything, they seem to open/loosen up after it. Often, they even start talking about their own relationships.

I will say there was one dancer who purposely kissed my collar after a VIP session. I didn't really realize until afterwards when I saw the huge lipstick mark, I kinda think that was one scenario where a dancer may have been acting maliciously regarding my marital status. I dunno, that may be just my overactive imagination running wild.
avatar for SirLapdancealot
SirLapdancealot
7 years ago
I wear my wedding ring openly in the club and I have no issue telling a stripper that I'm married if asked. I will also mention my wife if the conversation leads to it. In general I avoid getting into details about my wife and marriage but I don't ever try to hide the simple facts. And if a stripper has an issue with me because I'm married then I move on. I don't want to do business with strippers that have issues with me, so it is best we part ways as soon as a known issue comes up.
avatar for newmark
newmark
7 years ago
I usually have my ring on, so I tell them if they ask. That is one of only a few pieces of accurate information I give out though. I really only club when I travel. I used a different name, a different home town, ANC a different work situation. I don't want them to think I am a stalker. But I also don't want to be stalked.
avatar for lolruned
lolruned
7 years ago
I doubt dancers really care until it gets to the point where they have serious feelings for you (which is doubtful). They are still women after all
avatar for Dominic77
Dominic77
7 years ago
I tell them. And yes, on only speak postive about my wife. In addition to what the other married-positive guys have wrote, I find it also works like an instant background check. It means that there is at least one woman out there who can stand me. So it kind performs the same social cue as a wingman would to a woman at a club. It means we’re ground, act like we’ve been there before and know how things work, all which can put the dancer at ease.

Rickdugan+1 about not wanted to invest the energy to break in baby strippers put off by it. Me, too.
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
I would be creeped out by a guy who lied ab it. When I found out, it would really make me question his true motives.
avatar for PutaTester
PutaTester
7 years ago
I tell them, "Yes I am married and she has a boyfriend." It can be a real conversation starter (;-O).
Some of the strippers I have met are married with children. Why is it an issue? It is all fantasy.
Indeed, some of the girls I have met in TJ and in the German FKKs are married.
Personally I could not handle it if my wife were a puta.
I might be able to handle it if she were a no-extras stripper.
Dated a stripper once, but that was 40 years ago when it was considered risque for her to dance on a stage 20 feet from the front row. (She wasn't very good in bed surprisingly.)
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