Stripper conversational ability? Or is it just me?

Can't say that I have the same experience. I've had lots of good conversations with strippers.

most strippers find me boring because i usually only one thing on my mind.

I've never been asked how much I make. That seems too straight forward for me and I'm not sure how I would respond if asked that directly. I've had a couple girls state that I must be successful since I can buy a lot of dances.

I wish more dancers were skilled in the art of conversation beyond that of party small talk, but I can see it from their perspective; the more time you talk, the less time you are dancing privately. I figure the girls would get too bored from asking the same questions and giving the same answers thousands of times to different customers so they just keep it simple.

Strippers can talk?

This shouldn’t be a difficult one. Strippers don’t give a shit about your really cool job - they care that you make enough money to pay them.

This is a strip club - not a philosophy class. In strip clubs - party talk is generally a pretext to selling dances.

I don’t recommend leading with “Let’s talk about the meaning of the universe!” - a better opening might be “Nice tits!”

It’s just you !

"Nice tits" > "meaning of the universe"

Brilliant advice!

PaulDrake, what you really need is a catch phrase. I have "brilliant!", crazyjoe has "check out what I left in the shitter", shailynn has "me am a Downie...", and JohnSmith has "want to get high?" You should come up with something cool like...

Wait, come to think of it, JohnSmith69 appears to succeed the most. You should consider getting high with strippers!

(Disclaimer for the humorless: this is a joke, I don't actually recommend getting high and I hope that JohnSmith69's constant odes to pot are exaggeration)

I find nearly every dancer is pretty good conversation...Once in a while I might get a quiet one, but she could be having an off day..I've rarely been asked how much money I make, they see I have a wad of 100's and a car < 2 years old, not premium car mind you....and I have decent clothes on...I buy them drinks and get dances...

So you ARE getting the same questions over and over again. What's the problem?? :)

But you answered your own question, they're not genuinely interested. Unless you're paying well, unless you're a regular expect to have shallow, surface conversations. Take it from their perspective, talking to 50+ guys a day, they can't get to know every guy much less remember the details when guy gets butt hurt that she forgets what was talked about 6 wks ago.

money has this amazing affect on their memory and concerns....

A strip club and a "dinner party" are very different settings and have different purposes - a strip club peddles sexuality and turning men on sexually, i.e. it's more about getting the little-head engaged vs the big head, they're sex-workers.

You may have better luck in upscale clubs where it seems conversing is a bigger part of the sales pitch - also these girls sre constantly meeting/talking-to dozens of men and it's probably a lot of effort to try and have "deep" conversations with each one especially since you only wanna chat for a few short minutes.

If u want a bit more personalized experience then you probably need to talk to them longer than 5 or 10 minutes and it would help if u picked a slow shift - and picking an upscale vs high mileage lap-dance factory may also help.

Paul, I think what you're experiencing is par for the course. For me, I am either blessed or cursed with enjoying stripper-style party small talk and sex talk, and also -- to a point -- I not just tolerate but enjoy the ridiculous minutiae of their drama-filled lives. At least for the first few times I meet her, I'm fine with that. By the time I've met her a few times and she's my CF, we've usually moved on from partytalk/sextalk/her-life-talk to more interesting things. I enjoy the entire progression... I find that I'm not very interested in weighty conversations when I first meet her.

All over the map. Some strippers are fantastic at conversation. Others couldn't hold up their end of a conversation with a forklift.

I tend to find that the more experienced dancers are better at chitchat. Not surprising.

Are these dinner parties w girls in their early twenties, also? Or are your friends closer to your age, and with more similar lifestyles and backgrounds?

-->"Some strippers don't seem to be good at asking engaging questions. One theory I have is that hot girls have never needed to learn to be really good at conversation before"

While I think there's something to that -- a lot of the girls lean towards the self-centered and self-indulgent. That said, I suspect there's underlying business imperatives here, too. To wit: I suspect the girls know very well that a typical customer -- say, a guy in his 40s, in mid-management, married with kids -- does not lead the most exciting life in the world (he may be enjoying it and it may be satisfying, but it's not super exciting), and many guys get their excitement vicariously through stripper party/drama/sex talk. In short, with most strip club customers, the girls are rewarded for talking about themselves... or when not talking about themselves directly, talking about shallow things like favorite TV shows or whatever, where they can find common ground with you "OMG! I love The Simpsons too!!!".

But yes, it does sometimes feel like a therapy session!

Remember when you watched Charlie Brown cartoons - and the adults were talking - “Wah wah, wah, wah...” that’s what the stripper hears when you speak. Her ears perk up when she hears VIP, wanna drink, wanna dance, champagne room, etc.

She’s looking interested - but she’s thinking about her nails, her hair color, hand bags, makeup - important stripper stuff!

I actually love to chat it up and find a few common things we are both interested in. Maybe thats why I lose interest in truely dumb strippers. But if you want deep conversations be prepared to hear stories of life drama that often weave into stories about needing money.

"I am asking them question but they rarely (to never) reciprocate."

Just let them talk. If they sit there like a lump and you don't want them grinding on you, let them walk.

Young lady, usually a middle aged man or older, just met, cautious and sexually charged atmosphere, sometimes drugs or booze. It’s not a situation most conducive to easy conversation.

Wow, TUSCL has upped its game.

My take is that the people at the dinner party have social obligations to behave in a certain way while a stripper can walk away and there are X other guys she can talk to. Except when there aren't. Can you tell me about that wax you got for your car? I need some for mine. Also, I have boobies!

So good points guys! I probably have my expectations too high for initial chats. And I probably need to open up more as that is what most people do.

The frustration I have is more when I have a CF and the conversation progresses over time from party talk to more deep conversation and that conversation is too one sided.

@Subraman - I do also enjoy hearing the weird life drama.

@Papi - Good point on the upscale clubs. The best conversationalist I have met was at a gown club.

When I tell the stripper what I do for a living, they automatically know I don't make a lot of money haha. So I have had some girls leave because of this, but the ones that stay I have enjoyed thoroughly and they know I am good average guy. I also own a business, so I make a lot of money with my 2 jobs. But I don't tell them about my business only my day job. This weeds out the ones who are really fake and don't care about you at all just your money.

Subra nailed it.

Most of the dancers I encounter are good conversationalist. The young ones struggle of course. I don't recall ever being directly asked how much I make.

I enjoy talking about sc drama and gossip. I know they don't give a shit about my boring life and I avoid talking about it. Upon first meeting I just talk about things that are happening right in front of both of us. Everything I say is positive and upbeat.

As would be expected, the conversations get deeper the longer I get to know them. Still, I try to keep it as fun and positive as possible.

Chatting it up and having a "deep" conversation with a stripper is fine but highly variable based on differences and compatibilities for both parties in terms personalities, ages, maturity levels, and interests. I've had CFs/ATFs that I have had very minimal conversation with regularly and others that I have had very deep and personal conversations with on a regular basis. It all depends, just like it is with hot civilian women. To me it's not that important because I'm there for a sexual fantasy and a good time. Conversation is just a means to that end.

On the whole I have found strip club dancers to have above average conversation skill.

But, I do respect people's privacy, and this may be one of the reasons I usually get along with them.

SJG

I usually talk to the dancers like I would on a date. The banter is similar to how I would when I'm out on a first or second date, assuming you have experience dating late teens, early 20's attractive girls. ;) .. Except the convo is a bit more overtly sexy and flirty than it would be for a civvie. You can bring up topics with dancers that civvies are uncomfortable with, so that's a plus for dancers, IMO. I dunno. For me, it's natural. I've also been clubbing on and off since 18, too, and doing the convo thing all along.

I'd approach it MORE LIKE a DATE than a meetup with work COLLEAGUES or networking event with PROFESSIONAL CONTACTS in your career field, IMO. I think that's your problem.

I try not to say too much because once you get some females talking, there's no stopping them. I don't understand why someone thinks it's hard to talk to strippers unless there is a big age gap. I do remember the other night I didn't really talk much with one stripper. I was paying attention to her rubbing my legs and watching other dancers. I saw no problem. One dancer called me by name and I haven't had a dance from her in over a year or two or a few. I remember back a few years ago, one dancer called me a drinking buddy. We would sit and talk. Another dancer or a dancer called me unforgettable. I try not to fill young dancers minds with crazy stories. I tend to not talk much unless I drink a bit more than normal. I can talk a lot. So can some dancers. A bi dancer is looking at the same things as me. A lesbian dancer might be enjoying the same view as me as well. A nice set of boobs or ass is nice to look at. We don't need to talk when something like that appears right in front of us.

I agree with Dominic77, approach it more like a date.

You can't interrogate them, as they are not interviewing for a job. And besides, wearing so little they are already quite vulnerable. You have to take it easy, wait until they start to open up. And besides, the more they listen when you are telling them about yourself, just a matter of fact ordinary guy, the better that means that it is going.

SJG

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I don't mind them talking at all, I rather enjoy it....I agree with SJG...

It’s essentially called cocktail talk. It’s a useful skill to have.

In my opinion, a lot of dancers have poor conversational ability. I'll occasionally find a dancer who is in college or trade school with meaningful aspirations. I can talk to them much longer before getting bored than that one dancer with zero aspirations. I see dancing as a means to an end but there are some women who are career dancers and I just do not find them particularly interesting. Their life story is always pretty much the same

And when I say career dancers, I'm not referring to just those that have been in the business for 10+ years. There are some early 20s dancers who are bound to be career dancers. You can just tell by their demeanor and actions

This thread has been awesome. I was hesitating for a few days about whether to post it or not but it was a really good idea. It has given me some areas to work on to be a better person and better expectations as to what I am looking for in my SC experience.

A few people have PMed me asking about my job. I am happy to disclose that privately if anyone is interested. A lot of this makes more sense when you know that part of the puzzle. I try not to brag in an dinner party scenario so one of the things I have always looked forward to in the SC was getting to actually brag about what I do. But 20 year old girls are probably the one demographic that is probably not impressed with my profession which is something I hadn't really though much about. So all in all a good learning experience for me.

With strippers money talks BS walks. They don’t give a shit about your job.

Convo ability varies between strippers. Some are even college students and will make quality sugar baby / otc girl others their brain fried by drugs forget it.

What I want is CG in vip w happy ending

Does anyone hate the Drake, or do you love him?

Seinfeld fans want to know.

------------------------------ UPDATE --------------------------

So I went to go see my CF again and I think a lot of my frustration is down to two areas:

1. Specific frustration with my CF's conversation ability. I have been seeing her every week for a few months now. Generally our conversations are me asking about what is new with her life drama and then no reciprocation on her part. If I told her I was going to rob a bank this weekend she would not think to ask me how my bank robbery went next week.

So here is the rub: this girl is a 9, works dayshift, generally doesn't make over $200, and has never successfully kept a regular (besides me) for than a few weeks. Basically spending $100 weekly with her is enough to get "whale" treatment. I guess I just need to accept that putting up with lopsided conversation is worth the upsides.

1. I don't do "strip club conversation" well. I think most strippers are used to listening to guys talk about stuff they don't actually care about. Personally I don't want to talk to a girl about cars if I know she isn't actually interested.

Often strip club dancers really enjoy talking to me, and often are getting very personal very quickly. And in our own local no touching clubs, this is often for little or no money.

SJG

"... Generally our conversations are me asking about what is new with her life drama and then no reciprocation on her part ..."

Besides many strippers not being good at conversation, particularly the younger they are, many do not like custies asking about their personal-lives either b/c they absolutely want to keep their club and non-club life completely separate, or they don't wanna share/discuss how f'ed up her personal-life is - i.e. dancers are often two different people in/out of the club - IMO best to keep it general and/or in-the-club stripping-related convo and she may eventually feel more comfortable speaking-up (but it needs to come from her vs the custy forcing the convo) - some girls only know how to grind; it is what it is.

I tell them about myself, but I am very careful about asking them questions. Usually girls like to hear a guy talk. But their personal stuff I am careful about inquiring about.

SJG

Girls will like to listen to a guy talk, as he will usually talk differently than she and her GFs do.

Girls like to listen to a guy talk, unless it is one you are married to.

SJG

Sometimes women will go after and marry men that they don't really feel that attracted to. They do this because they believe that these are men that they can control. This might mean no sex before marriage, or it may be just making them marry, or it maybe control after marriage. Whereas the men they are highly attracted to are ones they know they could not control.

I first learned of this as it is shown by example in the characters in Marilyn French's "The Women's Room", and this was long after I was already married. I have seen this in other couples too.

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So of course if Incel's are being spared these sorts of marriages, they do not know how lucky they are.

Most women act like they live for marriage, as this makes their involvements all socially acceptable. But if in fact they are less interested in it, then they may well refuse involvements with men they see as marriageable, but are not sexually attracted to. And generally women are attracted to stuffed shirts, to theater.

Again, these Incels do not realize how horrid the consequences that they are being spared of. , Barcelona, Do you find this picture a real turn on? Is it her outfit or the color, or is it just this girl's face? How much of the erotic power is in the makeup? barcelona-metropolitan.com

SJG

Women swear up and down that they consider marriage to be extremely important and that they want it more than anything. But this does not mean that they want to make it work. It just means that they want the social approval. It does not mean that they still feel attracted to you.

What strip clubs have taught me is that when women want to be, they can be extremely pleasing. And so what I take away from that is that you should not accept anything less.

SJG

^^^ STFU!!

Some girls are just that dense. As long as she has an ounce of humor I can talk to any girl. The thing is I find out quickly, if she's offended she's a dolt, if not we have some fun. Don't think about conversation as a means to gather facts, but as a means to find out personality. What makes her bored, what makes her excited. The more you do the latter the more she'll want to know about you. As long as she doesn't come off as bitchy, I find girls who are more reserved about conversations as a challenge and enjoy getting them to open up. Lots of times they're just bored and will appreciate a guy who's different and can make her smile or laugh (as long as your paying too.)

Charisma and enthusiasm is far more important than the actual dancer's conversational ability, in my opinion. Ideally, it would be great to talk about things you might on an actual date but you have to keep in mind that dancer's usually separate work and reality. I think some of the newer dancer's these days are like that

My ex-wife never was sexualized enough. She was right for me when I first met her, but things changed. Sex was never part of her identity. She was being chased after by a guy who may have been an incel. He would come over and spend hours fixing her car.

She selected me for a whole host of more practical reasons. But she was never a person driven by sex. If she had been, she would have been a fast action girl. She was the opposite.

Women who really want marriage are not going to be highly sex driven. My wife actually was not someone who was that attracted to marriage, but she was not sexually driven either.

Women who are sex driven, they are going to go for guys who are ornamental, the opposite of incels. Incels, unless they change, they would only be of interest to women who are highly marriage driven.

SJG

Barcelona

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But women who are highly sexualized are never going to be sexually faithful. My ex wife always was faithful and she always would have been. Her disloyalties were always in her susceptibility to conformist pressures, and in the idolatrous relationship with money which this promoted.

The incel movement is a reactionary anti-feminist hate group. Though I doubt that most of its followers even understand this.

SJG

Barcelona bacarrabcn.com

LMAO SJG turns a thread about stripper conversations to how his wife eventually became repulsed about having sex with him.

PaulDrake your troll hand is strong! Well played, sir.

He's too easy to play.

I'm not so sure once a girl spends time with you once or twice if she simply just doesn't run out of conversation topics.

The first time you talk--no doubt they want to be sure you have money and they probably are completely focused on how much of it is staying behind at the club with them.

Afterwards I'm more inclined to agree with Subraman--"I suspect there's underlying business imperatives here, too. To wit: I suspect the girls know very well that a typical customer -- say, a guy in his 40s, in mid-management, married with kids -- does not lead the most exciting life in the world (he may be enjoying it and it may be satisfying, but it's not super exciting), and many guys get their excitement vicariously through stripper party/drama/sex talk. In short, with most strip club customers, the girls are rewarded for talking about themselves"

So if you have a hobby that you are passionate about --cars, photography (one of mine) or if you are lucky enough to have seen most of the USA or parts of the world bring it up--it works for me everytime. Most of these girls lead a pretty boring life despite their attempts to make it look as if they don't. A lot of them want to travel and see other places but they never seem to have the money to do so....some are thinking about using their stripper jobs to allow them to at least see a few other cities around the country but even if they have there are plenty of places they want to see and haven't.

Don't get me wrong your money still rules as the overriding factor for many/most of them but getting a person to talk about what they want to do with their life opens the door to trust and communication.

Amen. He plays himself. There's a permanent quarter stuck in his ass.

Most women do want relationships. No they have a limited interest in 'guy stuff', but guys have other things to talk about. And a woman will be interest in more practical things, like income.

SJG