Stripper conversational ability? Or is it just me?
PaulDrake
Off again on again PL
I am really good at getting other people to talk about themselves. Normally in life this is a plus but when I pair up with a stripper with sub-average conversational ability it feels like the conversation is really one sided. Almost as if I am giving them a therapy session or an interview. I am asking them question but they rarely (to never) reciprocate.
Some strippers don't seem to be good at asking engaging questions. One theory I have is that hot girls have never needed to learn to be really good at conversation before.
Or maybe this is just a problem with me. I love deep personal one-on-one conversation but not the more shallow party conversation that is typical at strip clubs. And I try not to talk about myself too much if I don't feel like the other person isn't genuinely interested. Maybe I need to open up more.
So here is one real life example: I have a cool job. If I go to a dinner party and tell people what I do for a living I always get questions and they tend to be the same questions over and over. If I tell a stripper what do for a living I ONLY get asked how much money I make.
Some strippers don't seem to be good at asking engaging questions. One theory I have is that hot girls have never needed to learn to be really good at conversation before.
Or maybe this is just a problem with me. I love deep personal one-on-one conversation but not the more shallow party conversation that is typical at strip clubs. And I try not to talk about myself too much if I don't feel like the other person isn't genuinely interested. Maybe I need to open up more.
So here is one real life example: I have a cool job. If I go to a dinner party and tell people what I do for a living I always get questions and they tend to be the same questions over and over. If I tell a stripper what do for a living I ONLY get asked how much money I make.
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53 comments
I wish more dancers were skilled in the art of conversation beyond that of party small talk, but I can see it from their perspective; the more time you talk, the less time you are dancing privately. I figure the girls would get too bored from asking the same questions and giving the same answers thousands of times to different customers so they just keep it simple.
This is a strip club - not a philosophy class. In strip clubs - party talk is generally a pretext to selling dances.
I don’t recommend leading with “Let’s talk about the meaning of the universe!” - a better opening might be “Nice tits!”
Brilliant advice!
Wait, come to think of it, JohnSmith69 appears to succeed the most. You should consider getting high with strippers!
(Disclaimer for the humorless: this is a joke, I don't actually recommend getting high and I hope that JohnSmith69's constant odes to pot are exaggeration)
But you answered your own question, they're not genuinely interested. Unless you're paying well, unless you're a regular expect to have shallow, surface conversations. Take it from their perspective, talking to 50+ guys a day, they can't get to know every guy much less remember the details when guy gets butt hurt that she forgets what was talked about 6 wks ago.
You may have better luck in upscale clubs where it seems conversing is a bigger part of the sales pitch - also these girls sre constantly meeting/talking-to dozens of men and it's probably a lot of effort to try and have "deep" conversations with each one especially since you only wanna chat for a few short minutes.
If u want a bit more personalized experience then you probably need to talk to them longer than 5 or 10 minutes and it would help if u picked a slow shift - and picking an upscale vs high mileage lap-dance factory may also help.
I tend to find that the more experienced dancers are better at chitchat. Not surprising.
While I think there's something to that -- a lot of the girls lean towards the self-centered and self-indulgent. That said, I suspect there's underlying business imperatives here, too. To wit: I suspect the girls know very well that a typical customer -- say, a guy in his 40s, in mid-management, married with kids -- does not lead the most exciting life in the world (he may be enjoying it and it may be satisfying, but it's not super exciting), and many guys get their excitement vicariously through stripper party/drama/sex talk. In short, with most strip club customers, the girls are rewarded for talking about themselves... or when not talking about themselves directly, talking about shallow things like favorite TV shows or whatever, where they can find common ground with you "OMG! I love The Simpsons too!!!".
But yes, it does sometimes feel like a therapy session!
She’s looking interested - but she’s thinking about her nails, her hair color, hand bags, makeup - important stripper stuff!
Just let them talk. If they sit there like a lump and you don't want them grinding on you, let them walk.
My take is that the people at the dinner party have social obligations to behave in a certain way while a stripper can walk away and there are X other guys she can talk to. Except when there aren't. Can you tell me about that wax you got for your car? I need some for mine. Also, I have boobies!
The frustration I have is more when I have a CF and the conversation progresses over time from party talk to more deep conversation and that conversation is too one sided.
@Subraman - I do also enjoy hearing the weird life drama.
@Papi - Good point on the upscale clubs. The best conversationalist I have met was at a gown club.
Most of the dancers I encounter are good conversationalist. The young ones struggle of course. I don't recall ever being directly asked how much I make.
I enjoy talking about sc drama and gossip. I know they don't give a shit about my boring life and I avoid talking about it. Upon first meeting I just talk about things that are happening right in front of both of us. Everything I say is positive and upbeat.
As would be expected, the conversations get deeper the longer I get to know them. Still, I try to keep it as fun and positive as possible.
But, I do respect people's privacy, and this may be one of the reasons I usually get along with them.
SJG
I'd approach it MORE LIKE a DATE than a meetup with work COLLEAGUES or networking event with PROFESSIONAL CONTACTS in your career field, IMO. I think that's your problem.
I don't understand why someone thinks it's hard to talk to strippers unless there is a big age gap. I do remember the other night I didn't really talk much with one stripper. I was paying attention to her rubbing my legs and watching other dancers. I saw no problem. One dancer called me by name and I haven't had a dance from her in over a year or two or a few. I remember back a few years ago, one dancer called me a drinking buddy. We would sit and talk. Another dancer or a dancer called me unforgettable. I try not to fill young dancers minds with crazy stories. I tend to not talk much unless I drink a bit more than normal. I can talk a lot. So can some dancers. A bi dancer is looking at the same things as me. A lesbian dancer might be enjoying the same view as me as well. A nice set of boobs or ass is nice to look at. We don't need to talk when something like that appears right in front of us.
You can't interrogate them, as they are not interviewing for a job. And besides, wearing so little they are already quite vulnerable. You have to take it easy, wait until they start to open up. And besides, the more they listen when you are telling them about yourself, just a matter of fact ordinary guy, the better that means that it is going.
SJG
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Led Zeppelin, 1969
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-WSbMW7…
Ekaterina Mechetina plays Rachmaninoff's Piano Concerto No. 3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWbwJ78g…
A few people have PMed me asking about my job. I am happy to disclose that privately if anyone is interested. A lot of this makes more sense when you know that part of the puzzle. I try not to brag in an dinner party scenario so one of the things I have always looked forward to in the SC was getting to actually brag about what I do. But 20 year old girls are probably the one demographic that is probably not impressed with my profession which is something I hadn't really though much about. So all in all a good learning experience for me.
Convo ability varies between strippers. Some are even college students and will make quality sugar baby / otc girl others their brain fried by drugs forget it.
What I want is CG in vip w happy ending
Seinfeld fans want to know.
So I went to go see my CF again and I think a lot of my frustration is down to two areas:
1. Specific frustration with my CF's conversation ability. I have been seeing her every week for a few months now. Generally our conversations are me asking about what is new with her life drama and then no reciprocation on her part. If I told her I was going to rob a bank this weekend she would not think to ask me how my bank robbery went next week.
So here is the rub: this girl is a 9, works dayshift, generally doesn't make over $200, and has never successfully kept a regular (besides me) for than a few weeks. Basically spending $100 weekly with her is enough to get "whale" treatment. I guess I just need to accept that putting up with lopsided conversation is worth the upsides.
2. I don't do "strip club conversation" well. I think most strippers are used to listening to guys talk about stuff they don't actually care about. Personally I don't want to talk to a girl about cars if I know she isn't actually interested.
SJG
Besides many strippers not being good at conversation, particularly the younger they are, many do not like custies asking about their personal-lives either b/c they absolutely want to keep their club and non-club life completely separate, or they don't wanna share/discuss how f'ed up her personal-life is - i.e. dancers are often two different people in/out of the club - IMO best to keep it general and/or in-the-club stripping-related convo and she may eventually feel more comfortable speaking-up (but it needs to come from her vs the custy forcing the convo) - some girls only know how to grind; it is what it is.
SJG
Girls like to listen to a guy talk, unless it is one you are married to.
SJG
I first learned of this as it is shown by example in the characters in Marilyn French's "The Women's Room", and this was long after I was already married. I have seen this in other couples too.
https://www.amazon.com/Womens-Room-Novel…
So of course if Incel's are being spared these sorts of marriages, they do not know how lucky they are.
Most women act like they live for marriage, as this makes their involvements all socially acceptable. But if in fact they are less interested in it, then they may well refuse involvements with men they see as marriageable, but are not sexually attracted to. And generally women are attracted to stuffed shirts, to theater.
Again, these Incels do not realize how horrid the consequences that they are being spared of.
,
Barcelona, Do you find this picture a real turn on? Is it her outfit or the color, or is it just this girl's face? How much of the erotic power is in the makeup?
http://www.barcelona-metropolitan.com/lo…
SJG
What strip clubs have taught me is that when women want to be, they can be extremely pleasing. And so what I take away from that is that you should not accept anything less.
SJG
Don't think about conversation as a means to gather facts, but as a means to find out personality. What makes her bored, what makes her excited. The more you do the latter the more she'll want to know about you. As long as she doesn't come off as bitchy, I find girls who are more reserved about conversations as a challenge and enjoy getting them to open up. Lots of times they're just bored and will appreciate a guy who's different and can make her smile or laugh (as long as your paying too.)
She selected me for a whole host of more practical reasons. But she was never a person driven by sex. If she had been, she would have been a fast action girl. She was the opposite.
Women who really want marriage are not going to be highly sex driven. My wife actually was not someone who was that attracted to marriage, but she was not sexually driven either.
Women who are sex driven, they are going to go for guys who are ornamental, the opposite of incels. Incels, unless they change, they would only be of interest to women who are highly marriage driven.
SJG
Barcelona
http://www.barcelona-metropolitan.com/lo…
https://www.felinabcn.com/es
https://worldsbeststripclubs.com/strip-c…
The incel movement is a reactionary anti-feminist hate group. Though I doubt that most of its followers even understand this.
SJG
Barcelona
https://www.bacarrabcn.com/lap-dancing/
PaulDrake your troll hand is strong! Well played, sir.
The first time you talk--no doubt they want to be sure you have money and they probably are completely focused on how much of it is staying behind at the club with them.
Afterwards I'm more inclined to agree with Subraman--"I suspect there's underlying business imperatives here, too. To wit: I suspect the girls know very well that a typical customer -- say, a guy in his 40s, in mid-management, married with kids -- does not lead the most exciting life in the world (he may be enjoying it and it may be satisfying, but it's not super exciting), and many guys get their excitement vicariously through stripper party/drama/sex talk. In short, with most strip club customers, the girls are rewarded for talking about themselves"
So if you have a hobby that you are passionate about --cars, photography (one of mine) or if you are lucky enough to have seen most of the USA or parts of the world bring it up--it works for me everytime. Most of these girls lead a pretty boring life despite their attempts to make it look as if they don't. A lot of them want to travel and see other places but they never seem to have the money to do so....some are thinking about using their stripper jobs to allow them to at least see a few other cities around the country but even if they have there are plenty of places they want to see and haven't.
Don't get me wrong your money still rules as the overriding factor for many/most of them but getting a person to talk about what they want to do with their life opens the door to trust and communication.
SJG