Touching during lapdances and private parties questions

A bit more thoughts on this drama. That other club with the private parties that I know for a fact are very dirty- the girls there are hotter and I also have a good idea of what they make from hearsay. They make nowhere near that amount. Said other club is only 1 hour away. These are both cheapass towns- no real money in either one. I doubt the money here in this shit-hole is so much higher than the next shit-hole. I can't wait to move to a bigger city small cities/towns are just too much drama whereas everywhere bigger I've danced bitches are better at minding their biz.

Also I am not the bitch here that is doing the most on stage or during lapdances. Feel like I am being ran out of here honestly, every girl hates my guts holy fuck.

1. Pretty common
2. I call Bullshit
3. Sounds likely.

Consensual touching is very, very common and certain body parts are assumed to be ok to touch. Generally breasts, genitals, and anything above the neck require some sort of prior agreement.

Don't worry about what others think of you. Make your money, live your life.

I thought I was done with my ranting/thoughts. Anyways, she is also talking shit about how little I make doing these dances allowing touching of tits/ass blah blah u hoe. U make so much more doing private parties. Idk, I feel like I make enough money at the club that I don't need to do after parties or straight up escort type work. I just go the fuck to work get groped a bit, do some pole tricks, cash in my funny money/pay fees/tipouts and I go the fuck home. And I live a comfortable lifestyle. I have so much more to show for my stripper job and I guess my "whore" lapdances than these girls that all supposedly make so much more than I do. And I only just started a few months ago, vs bitches been doing this shit for years.

God I am such a conceited little shit. But I really do keep to myself and make my money. Do not understand why all the hate, when there's girls doing so much more than me but I'm the shitlisted bitch by all the other dancers. Just unreal.

Fuck I feel better now after this rant lol.

Why do you care what others think if it’s working for you I’d pay them no never mind. How old are you ?

I guess I am just getting fed up here after a few months. I will move in a few months to greener pastures.

I got jumped by half the girls here a few weeks ago because it was my turn on stage and people had a lot of money to throw around and I wouldn't relinquish my turn to some other girl. Then the following week a girl tries to swing at me from behind while I sit on my phone. All this shit talking and trying to get me fired also sucks. I am really trying to ignore them but holy fucking shit. It's just such easy money it is so hard to leave this spot.

I am 24.

You sound like you need to calm down and take a deep breath. I don’t know you but here’s the thing you might consider, it’s possible to have some issues with one or two others but if you are having issues with everyone than it might be you.

I guess I made it sound worse than it is. It isn't all the dancers. But I would probably half of them are pretty obvious about having issues with me. The bartenders/bouncers/djs/management/owner all seem cool with me. I think it is because I have a bad attitude and talk shit about anything and everything under the sun. Not necessarily them. I think part of it is I sell a lot of dances. They do not like me hustling guys from the stage when they are up, but they do it too. They get mad if I sit near them while hustling a guy and succeed. But if there are 2 guys and 1 of you I call fair game?

They make shit up about me a lot about anything and everything. Somebody was spreading that I said they all got diseases? like wtf. I talk shit but never said that.

But I am guilty of maybe hustling too hard for a small bfe area and of being a bad attitude bitch. But it's all good humor. I used to work in manufacturing with all guys so I know how to shoot the shit LOL

Can't speak to the "private" parties, but touching "anything not covered by cloth" during a topless lapdance is fairly standard. Some girls have more or less strict boundaries. In the other direction, the dancers may do anything from light friction/teasing to stick shifting - again, as a standard. Of course, this isn't -strictly- permitted by a careful reading of the law, but for now, nobody seems to care. And of course, there are places where more is possible - big shock there.

IMO, if you're doing things outside of the club norms, find another club. If you're giving air dances in a full-contact club, you're not going to make much in the way of money. If you're giving full-contact dances in an air dance club, you're fucking with other dancers' money and potentially risking bringing heat down on the club. Neither one is a good situation.

The weird bit is that you say you're NOT really doing more than the standard - maybe you just ran into a catty dancer that took an immediate dislike to you? The above isn't particularly bad advice, but it may not apply.

They make shit up about me a lot about anything and everything. Somebody was spreading that I said they all got diseases? like wtf. I talk shit but never said that. But I am guilty of maybe hustling too hard for a small bfe area and of being a bad attitude bitch.

Oh look, a reply why I was typing. Yup, sounds like you ran afoul of a popular dancer and all her friends by being who you are.

I have watched other girls here and also heard things from probably the only woman here I trust. I have personally seen other girls here get groped just as much as me. I have personally seem some girls get pet even fingered which I do not do. I have personally seen girls making out with the guys which I do not do.

I have heard from my trusted source of nipple sucking being common. And even one of the girls gets ate out.

So honestly I do not see how I am fucking anybody out of money by allowing breast/ass touching during my dances.

Sounds like you are not doing anything wrong. You are there to please the customers not the other dancers.

You should move to the Detroit area. Here you can decide how much touching you want.

Suckers.............................................

If the other dancers have all been there for a while, and you’re new, then it’s likely that any money you make, however much or little, by allowing however much or little touching you allow, will be seen as “taking” from the others.

As for the manager, bouncer, etc, they only care about the club’s money; as long as you’re bringing that in, they’re gonna probably be ok.

That insane money for a private party, unless it’s an all night affair, is likely bullshit.

Blah, I can't tell you what you should allow or what your club allows. But I can only tell you what I expect. And if you don't allow touching, then you will not get a second dance from me. If I just want to see a naked girl up close, then I would sit at the stage and tip one dollar bills. If I get a private dance, then I want a more intimate interaction.

As far as the private parties, I would think you do that at your own risk. Get in a room with a bunch of drunk guys, you can guess what might happen.

Touching here, in my experience, includes over the panties, but not in them. Except for certain dancers who will go further.

One we started a 30 min session and gave me the over the panties notice, then 5 minutes later told me to jam my fingers in her. Had her cumming like a banshee the entire time! That one got pretty hot and heavy.

Of course, while in the main room she flat out told me she's a squirter...would have LOVED to see that back there.

Show us your tits

It’s crazy club drama. It sucks that you got jumped. Seems like a rough club - and maybe not a good fit for you.

1. The bikini bars have general contact that's up to the dancer's discretion. For nude bars, no touching at all in the main floor, but it is allowed in VIP as far as the dancer allows.

2. I've never had interest in private parties for safety reasons, but even with the girls that tell me they do, the amount they claim they make is much smaller than that. Sounds like an exaggeration.

3. Yep. That's exactly what it is.

4. Dancers, no matter the place or quality, are incredibly unpredictable when it comes to how they get along with the other dancers. You could breathe the same air as them and they'll hate you for it, but this sounds like a bit much. Is management doing anything about these girls that are getting physical with you? Even if the money is good, there is only so long that you can tolerate a toxic environment. I've worked with other girls in the same position as you as far as banking every night and getting a bad vibe from the other dancers - except that they were purposely cutthroat to the other girls, so in a way, the complaints towards them were justified. But here if you're doing nothing wrong and are just hustling harder and better than the rest are, I would hope that there are better clubs around that you could go to if things get too extreme.

If you're making what you need, don't worry about more. Around here in Ohio technically a "no contact sate" lol...my fav's give me two way and yes one girl shoves her tits and lets me suck her nipples and dfk me...she doesn't do that for everyone and its against the club rules ever for me to touch her, but we sit in the far back corner where the bouncer can't see....for the most part the girls either allow one way only...or let me gently hold their waist, arms, touch their stomach etc...I never push anything because i don't need to....I find I get more play acting shy lol.

Plenty of girls get into more and more because they need more and more for whatever reasons. (Financial problems, drug problems, supporting an unemployed loser bf) etc.

One should take what people say in a strip club with a grain of salt whether it's dancers, staff, or custies - people in sreip clubs often talk out of their ass

As long as management is not calling anything to your attention then w/e goes down b/w a dancer and custy is b/w them and is no one else's business

You might be best keeping to yourself and just focusing on your hustle - but if your physical safety is in question you need to let management know although some managers are douches and may not give a f***

Depends on management, dancer, and/or location. Generally, I think mileage is limited in a suburban SC. I think you can get a lot more mileage if you look like a huge spender and/or an attractive patron

"She says I am basically fucking her out of money for private parties that she claims to do for $900-$2000"

I think a good rule of thumb to follow is to never trust what a dancer tells you. She's trying to stroke her ego. I doubt a dancer that is "below average" in a small town would make that kind of money

A PL that takes $900-$2000 to the SC has the intent to do "private parties." Buying dances from you is not going to change his intent. Basically she is telling not to allow touching, because she allows it. Next time the PL come and you followed her advice of the no fly zone, PL will flock to her because she allows touching.

Dancers exaggerate their earnings like guys exaggerate their penis size

The more contact I get during a dance, the more I wanna get/buy, not the other way around

Yeah I am doubtful somebody that looks like she does would make that kinda money in a shit-hole town. Most girls allow 2 way contact here from what I've seen. And yes, my logic tells me somebody with a lot of money isn't going to be stopped from spending big on her if he really wanted to. Girls out here do quite a bit more contact than I do from the stage. Their picking up $1 off a customer's face with their butt or $1 tits in face shenanigans don't stop me from selling $25 lapdances left and right to those same guys.

Honestly I do keep to myself almost always. I feel like no matter what I do they just hate me, but I hear they do this same shit to every new or semi-new girl that's hot and can hustle.

I'm really not the best looker, but I put in effort to stay in shape- more than I can say for almost all of them..and I do have a slight way with words to close sales. And contact isn't my selling point 95% of the time because most of them over here do it too, just pretend they don't. Lol

Girl being a bitch to me is 1 of those older dancers that just looks awful :x I've seen 40+ year old strippers whose bodies are bomb... That is not the case with this one lol!

Most people in a strip club have their own agendas to benefit themselves often at the expense of others and why one has to be careful to look out for themselves lest they get taken advantage of

I do not understand why these girls that work here get so angry at me when they sit with the guys way longer than I do. Of course I'm going to sell faster and more than you if I keep track of time to some extent.....it doesn't take that damn long to charm a guy into a lapdance or a string of dances...lol

"Honestly I do keep to myself almost always. I feel like no matter what I do they just hate me, but I hear they do this same shit to every new or semi-new girl that's hot and can hustle."

I think it's good that you keep to yourself but don't outcast yourself from your co-workers. There's a bad apple at almost every workplace but I would just try to keep things as neutral as possible. Your probably too young to care for this but I'd start developing de-escalation techniques rather than using avoidance

"I do not understand why these girls that work here get so angry at me when they sit with the guys way longer than I do. Of course I'm going to sell faster and more than you if I keep track of time to some extent.....it doesn't take that damn long to charm a guy into a lapdance or a string of dances...lol"

Insecurity. They need to take way more time developing any potential patron for income when you can get it more efficiently (that is if you are telling the truth). At the same time, as a patron I'd prefer it if a dancer takes her time with conversation rather than rushing a sale

^^^After reading your replies my guess is many of the girls in your club have been lazy and haven’t had to try hard for a while, just don’t sweat it keep doing what works well for you, my guess is you got on the wrong side of one of the queen bitches, if you’re smart just keep on and it may very well turn itself around to your advantage. If it gets physical again get a floor manager involved if he doesn’t want to protect you threaten to call the police, they will do anything they have to to avoid LE getting involved.

twentyfive- spot on. Except let floor mgrs know you are being targeted / endangered while at club. text or email this for a paper trail if needed if LE gets involved.

@Papi_Chulo: “Dancers exaggerate their earnings like guys exaggerate their penis size”

Absolutely true.

I am a dancer who does not exaggerate her earnings... anyhow...

1. Any thoughts on touching during lapdance "norms" in cities/towns you club at?

^Do what you're comfortable with and what the club allows. Don't get yourself fired. Also, depends on the area. If you really don't know, try to see what the others are doing and don't go any further than that, or further than your comfort zone. Some managers will also imply or even explicitly tell you their mileage rules.

1. What do these girls make during private parties? $900-$2000 a party sounds extremely high for somebody that looks below average in small town Texas that does no extras.

In the short time that I did extras parties, that kind of money was possible, but rarely for one party. During bachelor season (summer), if you do bachelor parties you can be booked for 2 or 3 parties a night. Different agencies (or individuals, I guess, for people not going through an agency) have their own ways of making money. The people I worked with had our own little "games" to get guys to fork over cash, plus lap dances, plus toy shows for the girls daring enough to do them. I would usually get 200-300 per toy show, depending on how many girls I was working with. If it was just me, $300. If there were two of us, $250. If there were three, $200. The girl I always worked with was very strict on touching. If a guy slapped her ass or my ass she'd smack them in the face. But, let's say you average $600 per party and did 3 parties that night. That's $1800 for the night, minus 20% or so for tipping our driver/bouncer. Not bad.

1. Is she seriously trying to pimp me out? LOL (serious question because I do know of 1 club where if a girl invites another girl to the private parties it is most definitely straight fucking/sucking of the male customers and the girl that arranges it gets a cut off the girls that attend).

If you want to do bachelor parties go through an agency. The girl you're describing sounds very sketchy and unreliable. You can't just trust anyone in this business.

That was a Freudian slip. I meant bachelor's parties, and was going to explain how the parties would be considered "extras" at the club, because I did toy shows. Idk what an "extras" party is, but besides toy shows, neither me nor my partner did extras. If I did a toy show in the VIP at my club, I'd be in trouble.

Manager is well aware of what goes on in lapdance area with every girl- been there since October. This is the first anybody has ever bitched me out for what I allow there which isn't even as high mileage as many of them lol...

I am willing to believe you make that sorta money, Nina, you look great in your photo. This girl I am talking about claims she is 31 but I also thought she was bare minimum 40 years old. She is skinny fat with a terrible stomache area and her butt is so saggy it points straight down, it almost looks fake. But her ass is way too small to be fake- just never seen one shaped that way though.

Yeah, I thought if I ever wanted to get into private parties that an agency would be the way to go. But I think I will stay out of that for now, thanks for the tip though. And no, I do not trust her, LOL

bbb23- By the time someone is 24, they should know how and when to tell someone to fuck off.

"bbb23- By the time someone is 24, they should know how and when to tell someone to fuck off."

In defense of noobie dancer, she's new to dancing and probably hasn't developed the real world sense to be able to do such a thing. Some people are also just too polite to tell someone off in front of their face

😡😡🔪🔪

Basically, blah, you are threatening their income, not because of any particular mileage you offer, but because you has that undefinable quality that drives men nuts. That, and I'm sure you do stay in shape.

They are not able to compete on a fair basis and hence are trying to strongarm you either into being less competitive or right out of the club.

You need to get some intelligence on the bouncers and managers to see if they will be supportive. If they are under the influence of this group of dancers, frankly your only course of action will be to find a better club. Don't worry; if this is the case, this club is on its way to cratering. If you report the harassment to the club manager or owner, be sure to stress the amount of money they are making on you. Keep records!!!

Good luck!

Pro tip: asking a gal if she does bachelor parties is a good segue into inquiring about OTC. High correlation.

Now Nicespice is resurrecting old threads?

As long as management isn't saying anything about touching, you're just fine. Keep doing you. I don't know anything about parties b/c that's not something I ever got into, but, you can almost always bet that anyone who talks about how much money they make (whether male or female) is lying for whatever self serving reason. (With the obvious exception of anyone responding on this thread!)

Lastly, and most importantly- you are there for the BOYS... NOT for the girls. Ignore, ignore, ignore whenever possible. It will only affect your well being, and possibly money if you let them get to you. Let them be miserable while you rise above, keep a level head, and laugh all the way to the bank. 🌞

i notice that when i enter any club, the older miserable dancer will hit me first, i refuse to buy her drink, and then she leaves and bad mouths me to the other dancer

STrip Club Rule #1 - 99% of the time the first dancer who approaches you, especially immediately after you walk in needs to be turned down 99% of the time. They cannot compete if the mark sees any other dancer so they need to move as fast as possible.

^ YES!! So true... We call em sharks 🦈

@EndlessSummer, had I followed that advice I may have had a much better experience on my last Strip Club experience.

Buying dances is a chump's game. Start with a Deep Bra Stuff and a Front Room Makeout Session.

Save the booths and backrooms until you really need them.

SJG

i expect two way touching. preferably with no limits. but no penetration unless she encourages it.

two way touching, best to do in front room!

SJG