Disappointed
jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
Around 8 years ago I had a favorite dancer (I'll call her "Bambi") I loved to watch on stage. She danced very sensually and I would stare at her the whole time she was performing. Then I would take her to VIP for lap dances. For a Detroit stripper Bambi was very clean. I sucked her nipples and rubbed her pussy, but I never got extras.
Bambi retired from stripping and got married. We remained Facebook friends and would comment on or "like" each other's posts. As time went on she revealed problems in her marriage, much of it caused by heavy drinking by herself and her husband.
Bambi and her husband separated. She was heartbroken and posted about her sorrow on Facebook. I would try to cheer her up. She hoped for a reconciliation. She was devastated when she learned her husband had found a new girlfriend.
I wondered whether I could swoop in and date Bambi. I know better than to date a stripper, but this was an ex-stripper. A pretty and petite dancer, she was only 5 feet tall, and her C cup boobs looked big on her small frame.
So I invited her out to lunch. I was excited about seeing her again and hoped she would find me attractive.
When I picked her up, I nearly did not recognize her. Her face was fat and bloated. Her boobs were now enormous, and so was her belly. When she was dancing she told me she weighed 95 pounds. She looked like she had gained 50 more.
At the restaurant I watched her across the table, remembering how I used to watch her dancing at the club. Watching her was no longer pleasant. She was still bubbly and talked incessantly. But while I always enjoy talking to a hot woman, I don't enjoy talking to a fat one. I no longer wanted to date Bambi. Even though she's about 30 years younger than me, I had no desire to go out with her or have sex with her.
Bambi said, "I eat like a bird," and she picked at her lunch and took most of it home in a box. But she drank 4 margaritas while I had 1 beer.
I was disappointed in Bambi. I was also disappointed in myself. I try not to be a shallow and self-centered person. My reaction to Bambi revealed how shallow I was. I did not even care to talk to her because she was not physically attractive enough. Maybe I am the one who needs to change.
Bambi retired from stripping and got married. We remained Facebook friends and would comment on or "like" each other's posts. As time went on she revealed problems in her marriage, much of it caused by heavy drinking by herself and her husband.
Bambi and her husband separated. She was heartbroken and posted about her sorrow on Facebook. I would try to cheer her up. She hoped for a reconciliation. She was devastated when she learned her husband had found a new girlfriend.
I wondered whether I could swoop in and date Bambi. I know better than to date a stripper, but this was an ex-stripper. A pretty and petite dancer, she was only 5 feet tall, and her C cup boobs looked big on her small frame.
So I invited her out to lunch. I was excited about seeing her again and hoped she would find me attractive.
When I picked her up, I nearly did not recognize her. Her face was fat and bloated. Her boobs were now enormous, and so was her belly. When she was dancing she told me she weighed 95 pounds. She looked like she had gained 50 more.
At the restaurant I watched her across the table, remembering how I used to watch her dancing at the club. Watching her was no longer pleasant. She was still bubbly and talked incessantly. But while I always enjoy talking to a hot woman, I don't enjoy talking to a fat one. I no longer wanted to date Bambi. Even though she's about 30 years younger than me, I had no desire to go out with her or have sex with her.
Bambi said, "I eat like a bird," and she picked at her lunch and took most of it home in a box. But she drank 4 margaritas while I had 1 beer.
I was disappointed in Bambi. I was also disappointed in myself. I try not to be a shallow and self-centered person. My reaction to Bambi revealed how shallow I was. I did not even care to talk to her because she was not physically attractive enough. Maybe I am the one who needs to change.
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34 comments
So, on my never humble opinion, YES you’re being exceptionally shallow, for an outside the club relationship, inside the club wanting a new shinny model every year is perfectly acceptable. In fact that is what they specialize in.
I wonder if she noticed or cared to look for changes in your physical appearance, from 8 years ago? You didn’t mention if you thought she was, or said she was, attracted to you, and not just your wallet.
once she retired, how much time had passed until you met her for lunch?
@twentyfive - Bambi might have spent 4 hours getting ready for an exciting date but she might have not had much left to work with and the excessive drinking and talking might have been nerves.
Life’s too short to date ugly girls ;)
When it comes to initiating romantic relationships I think everyone is "shallow" if that means we place importance on physical attraction.
I'm surprised I didn't get called out for my statement. I said I try, but it is rare when I succeed in that.
Who am I kidding? I rarely even try.
Though "friends" with her on Facebook, your relationship to this woman was/is primarily physical and sexual. At least that's the foundation of it. So, it shouldn't surprise you or anyone else that you didn't feel the same excitement when you saw that she had changed (and not for the better). I'll also point out that minus your nostalgia for how she used to look, she's a woman who drinks too much and couldn't keep her marriage together (though it sounds like her man played an equal role). Without the looks, that doesn't describe anyone I'd go out of my way to date seriously.
Strip clubs don't partner well with introspection. But I think it's a good sign that you give it some thought.
While it’s hard to separate the friendship/sexuality aspects, you are certainly not being shallow and self centered with regard to the sexy stripper aspect. She just doesn’t have it anymore. That sounds like that was the main thing for you and I would’ve had the same reaction as you.
On the other hand, if you thought you had developed a simple friendship with her since she retired, I think your reaction to her present appearance should clarify for you that it was never really a friendship you maintained for 8 years on Facebook. That’s not shallow or self centered either. It’s just a reality check.
In any event, this is a serious question.
Is any relationship maintained exclusively over Facebook much of a relationship at all??
Inside the club rules allow for, even encourage, shallowness. Outside the club things are much more complicated.
If you’re looking for a friendship and a partner in some things, your comments is very shallow, OTOH if your only looking for some bones to jump, your attitude seems to be on par with all of the males and most of the females in this species.
What I frankly do find shallow though is you making plans to come in for the rebound with selfish plans in mind while she is so far down. I mean, men will be men, but damn man, sounds like she needs a friend more than anything and opposite to what you may have had in mind.
I agree that's probably true if he had the excruciatingly poor judgement to, y'know, DATE date her. None of that is remotely a turn-off for me (and I'd bet a decent % of other guys here) for a more sane, OTC or arrangement-ish relationship. (and note that, from context, I'm not entirely sure jack intended "talked incessantly" to be a pure negative; it might only be a negative for fat chicks).
I was disappointed in Bambi. I was also disappointed in myself. I try not to be a shallow and self-centered person. My reaction to Bambi revealed how shallow I was. I did not even care to talk to her because she was not physically attractive enough. Maybe I am the one who needs to change."
I think this is crazy talk, man. It would be one thing if you hated talking to fat women at all -- even family members, even co-workers, even random people you run into. But entirely different standards when the relationship is 100% romantic and lust-based; a big part of underlying foundation of those types of relationships is the physical attraction, for everyone.
To take the opposite side of 623's coin: I wonder if you'd met her fat (so never had lustful intentions towards her), but she was interesting and funny and sharp, if you'd still dislike talking to her. An unattractive girl with the stereotypical stripper's personality can be ... trying for anyone.
Time is not kind, especially to women.
The strip club conditions us to behave this way. All ladies charge $20 so why waste everybody’s time when there is no interest.
We PLs have the luxury to choose which women we want to interact with in a strip club.
PLs go to strip clubs to get w/ hot-women, not Ms Personality - sure a good/fun personality is necessary, but it's based on whether she's attractive to you or not. You wanted to get w/ her b/c she was/used-to-be hot, not b/c she was a FB buddy, obviously.
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There’s a girl I met in higjschcool while on vacation once. I would travel to see her periodically when I was in college. Honestly thought she was going to be my wife one day, but then she married some guy 10 years older than her and had 2 kids. So much for that.
Anyway she’s similar to what Jack said, very small and petite and probably has put on close to 50lbs since she was 20. She’s “chubby” but still pretty so I’d still sleep with her given the opportunity. Some women can still look good putting on weight others look horrible.