Wife wants to go back to stripping
Jonsnow76
California
So I met my Wife at a strip club. We married a year after we met and both agreed to her retiring after we married. She was always a very hands off dancer. So three years with normal jobs and she has asked to go back part time. She misses feeling like a star. Misses feeling like a goddess. And the power and control she had over both her schedule and hours. The club she wants to work at is high scale. Topless only. And she said she never would do any VIP or CR. Always wear her ring. I have to admit that I do miss her sexuality and dominance and confidence she carried with her previous profession. But I worry that this is a slippery slope into something that could morph into more than we both asked for.
122 comments
You know your wife well - so you probably know better (than any of us) the potential for the slope to become slippery. If you think she’s going to want to move to more shortly after she returns to dancing - then you have a very serious choice to make - or a very difficult talk to have.
Hopefully things will work out for the both of you.
She misses the feeling of a cock making her gag
Would you trust any of us with your wife, because I'm a sauve mother fucker (at least compared to my fellow creepy strip club PLs) who's got money to burn, and I'd be looking to fuck her. Would you believe any stripper in regards to what she says she does or doesn't do if they weren't your wife? What are you (not) doing in your relationship to the point she wants to go back to stripping with the main reason seemingly surrounding building up her esteem and making her feel empowered?
Now after thinking about all that, the next questions are, how secure are you with yourself and your marriage and did you at any point realize when you married a stripper that this would be inevitable? Girls who strip are not known for being able to live normal lives, no matter how hard they try.
I’d tell her no until the situation becomes untenable and you can sense it’s really upsetting her. Then I’d relent. By that point you might not have a choice.
Based on your concerns I would say the clock is ticking with you and her and you better figure out how to make her feel that way again. If she starts stripping again either your worries or stripper vices may blow it up.
I don't know what to tell you because I'd have serious problems with the scenario you posted. All I can say is good luck. About the only way I would be ok with it is if it was a straight up air dance only club. Then, they're looking but not touching.
Good luck.
i agree. and you simply need to trust her as i am sure you do when she goes shopping and out with her friends.
and personally i think an open relationship is far more realistic.
What type of dancing did she preform for you at the SC when you were 'dating'? Would you be comfortable with her dancing like that with the SC custy today?
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Just have honest and open discussions beforehand about both of your expectations and go from there. If you "forbid" it, that's likely only going to make things worse.
If she can truly be a hands-on dancer, then maybe you can deal with it. But I don't know of any club where a dancer can only be a stage dancer and not make the rounds. Sounds counterproductive for both the club and the dancer.
If you have trouble dealing with some guys behind a keyboard busting your balls, I don't you're cut out for dealing with being married to an active stripper (whether she's a high mileage girl or not). Simply based on what I've seen from your responses, there honestly does appear to be some pretty clear insecurity issues you got going on when it comes to this topic. That isn't me busting your balls, this is what is just clear as day to me, her doing this is going to eat you alive from the inside out.
I truly think you should find a way to talk her out of going this way and have her find a different outlet for what she is looking for.
Jon, why don't you just throw a couple of babies in her and keep her occupied with something else for a while?
But ok, assuming she is set on doing this, good luck with that. I think you're being terribly naive about what she was and wasn't doing to earn money before she met you. Dancers who are as anti-septic in their cleanliness as you believe she was tend to go hungry and that was as true 6 years (or more) years ago as it is today.
More important, however, is that the vast majority of strippers who return to stripping when they are married do so because they are looking to create an escape hatch. Simply put, if you are really earning well and she cannot think of anything better to do with her time (like, idk, take care of your kids, become active in local charities, better herself in real ways, etc.) than take her clothes off for other guys in a strip club, then you're probably much more fucked than you realize.
Good luck I suppose - you're going to need it.
So, what’s your objection to her dancing?
Attention from other guys? That’s the trust issue.
That she won’t stop when you tell her to? Well, she’s your wife, not your slave.
That she’ll get into some bad shit? Trust again.
That the PTSD you mentioned will come to the fore? That’s the support thing.
Anything else?
Do you prefer FIFA or Madden?
What is your favorite strain of marijuana?
When is your next gig?
Nah, really? Thanks for letting us know that. After all, it's not like any of us have been dealing with strippers for decades in a variety of venues and situations. ;)
Jon also posted --->"It just means she has been feeling unfulfilled for the moment. "
And therein lies your problem. Or, more specifically, what she is planning to do about it. You really should give more consideration as to why, out of an infinite number of options she has, especially with you being a "high earner" and all, she feels that this is her best possible option. Nobody but you is buying that nonsense about her doing it to feel sexy and empowered. Much more likely is the escape hatch theory I laid out above.
I know you've convinced yourself that you're doing the right thing with the beta male collaborative and supportive route that you intend to take, but you're probably shooting yourself in the foot by not holding her to her original promise. If you really treasure her as much as you claim, then you'd fight for your marriage a bit more than that, maybe by trying to figure out what's really going on and seeing if you could support her in any other way/endeavor besides becoming a play thing for other men. In my experience, the personality types that strip in the first place often struggle with other aspects of vanilla life besides work.
Anyway, good luck I suppose. Maybe some of the tusclers who you have objected strongly to will be among those contributing to her moving out nest egg, though no doubt they'll be doing a lot more with her than sitting on their hands during an air dance. ;)
This sounds like a waste of time tbh?? I wish I had free time like this—
So, she’s going to go in and stage dance only?? And what, make about $10-50 on a 6 hour shift?? And her house fee is going to be $40+ and then $20+ to tip the staff?? Plus buying outfits, shoes, tanning, etc??
So actually she is paying to do something you can do for free at home?????
Why would YOU need to be there, exactly?
Customers will obviously see her and ask her for a dance. So according to your plan, she has to tell them “no, I don’t do dances.” Here’s the result of that:
The customers tell the other dancers/managers that she doesn’t do dances. She gets fired because, well, why else are dancers even at the club?
Or,
If, somehow, this plan works, you will get tired of going for this boring outing and eventually she’s going to say “ok just one dance,” and at that point, the door is open for “just $100” and “just a 15 minute CR,” etc etc.
I know many dancers who are in long term marriages/relationships but this plan you have is boo boo. I don’t know any dancer who is in the game for attention; therapy, as suggested by others, sounds like a better investment of resources.
Past that if I were in your shoes I would think hard about how I could do a better job giving her whatever she is missing (affirmation, compliments, etc). Please don't take this as a personal dig, I freely admit I have problems myself I am not trying to say I am better than you. Best of luck my bro!
Think about it the other way. Your wife makes good money but you don't unless you strip. You ask your wife permission to go back to work as a male stripper. You tell her you will only do stage dancing. It's not enough to make tip out. Soon you are doing more thinking spouse won't know. All is good. Temptation will be strong to hook up and do more. I don't know you or spouse. Maybe you are a couple that stays together and can resist temptation. However right now she can't even resist the urge to go strip again.
Jonsnow76, no disrespect, but if this was a real effort to elicit serious responses I'd like to point out you sort of said everything that needed to be said in the original post. You said that your wife stripping was a "slippery slope" that could "morph into something more".
True. Without knowing you and your wife none of us can know the likelihood that her stripping will morph into something more.
So the crazy TUSCL posters do what they do best: discuss strippers doing crazy things at strip clubs! I am shocked, however, that none of the TUSCL posters asked you to post pictures of your wife's tits. I was sure that request was going to appear within the first five replies.
TUSCL posters, when a man posts that his wife wants to be a stripper please request some tit pics. Or pussy pics. Or butthole pics. They're all brilliant!
I was even going to comment that calling twentyfive "lowbrow" might be more convincing if you had used "you're" instead of "your". But since it is possible that you're trolling I'll just tip my hat to you for some truly aces trolling!
Do I get any pics of your wife's butthole for tipping my hat to you?
But I only want them if she's really sexy. Ugly girl butthole = non-brilliant! ;)
Several posters have taken their time to provide you with some useful advice. Could you please return the favor to the board, and let us know how whatever fork in the road you take works out ? Oh, and good luck in whatever choice you make.
I'm assuming his wife is probably in her 40s. How exactly is she going to get into modeling at such an advanced age?
She may need to find her own passion other than just being a wife and working a job she's miserable at.
IMO everyone is suited to be good at an excel in something, it's often just finding it.
Her wanting to strip may just be the symptom and it may not end up giving her what she's looking for, especially with all the restrictions she would have stripping per what you've mentioned.
She should try something else to get her mojo, but if she really wants to do it then in the end she's an adult and not a child so you may have to let her try it.
If u wanna get dancers' POV you can post your question on StripperWeb.com
If as you say she misses being a star, you my friend are not doing your job.
she is an adult. She will do it or not regardless of what you say. Tell her how you feel then support her decision. If she does it and she fails, it will be your fault for not supporting her. If she succeeds you will still be an asshole for not supporter her. If she doesn't do it because you insisted she not, you will be an asshole for standing in her way.
You need to get into modeling at a younger age typically. A lot of these women are recruited by modeling agencies in high school. There is little to no chance she would be able to break into modeling with zero experience as a mid 30s+ woman. Unless she has superior connections and/or money to burn, maybe she could get into local modeling. It is far more reasonable for her to break into instagram and maybe get a following. Modeling is super competitive and you cannot just be an attractive person to succeed
For better advice and opinions, we really do need to see her tits. Then we can decide if she could have a brilliant future as a stripper. We are working blind as a bat on this one.
Regardless of her husbands substantial income and material possessions - he may have difficulty with jealousy - and she may simply be another one of his possessions.
Doesn't add up. Happy people don't rock the boat.
So any guy who's married or w/an SO that goes to the SC automatically has a shitty relationship? Doesn't add up.
As an aside I can’t imagine any man with healthy self esteem being happy with this turn of events and our OP obviously has some fear of losing his marriage if he makes his preference known.
Now writes about this stuff like he read about it on a badly written story page, so I don't really buy any of it anyway. But just in case its true... ;)
Of course it was about the money, either because she wants to earn her own money or because she wants options that don't involve you. It sounds like she's spinning whatever you need to hear in order to get you on board.
However, I'm sort of surprised that the lion, vulture, and shark haven't showed up to ask Jonsnow76 if his wife wants to get gangbanged by a zoo. That would be some aces trolling!
Some women will accept the no - and act like they’ve moved on. But the effects can manifest themselves later - and it can be challenging to understand why something unrelated has pissed her off so much.
A simple option might be to have her try a amateur night? Let her see if it still feels as good as it did.
How long has it been since she was last on stage? If it’s only been a few years - 2-3 years - then she’s probably not far from her previous body. She might be able to get right back at it - but she might not want the other hassles that come from working in a strip club.
If it’s been 10 years - she might not have an easy time of it. She might realize quickly that it’s not for her anymore - and put it to rest.
It’s easy to remember past jobs and focus largely on the positives or negatives only. However, when you actually get back to a place - both the good and the bad are present. The good experiences might be tempered with reality - and it can put some desires to rest.
This situation takes good old honest communication and a willingness to work with each other to figure a solution that is best for the two of them as a couple.
If an acceptable resolution can't be found, maybe the marriage isn't very strong and separating might be a good idea. If this is such a big issue, there will certainly be others. Marriage can't last based entirely on lust, even if she is a large breasted Colombian.
Deuteronomy 8:19
"It shall come about if you ever forget the LORD your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I testify against you today that you will surely perish."
"Wife wants to go back to slurping"
Imo, Colombian women look hot. Returning to regularly scheduled web surfing................