So I met my Wife at a strip club. We married a year after we met and both agreed to her retiring after we married. She was always a very hands off dancer. So three years with normal jobs and she has asked to go back part time. She misses feeling like a star. Misses feeling like a goddess. And the power and control she had over both her schedule and hours. The club she wants to work at is high scale. Topless only. And she said she never would do any VIP or CR. Always wear her ring. I have to admit that I do miss her sexuality and dominance and confidence she carried with her previous profession. But I worry that this is a slippery slope into something that could morph into more than we both asked for.
I’ve never had a serious relationship with a stripper. I’m guessing that discussing her actions as a dancer - and actually knowing she’s performing sexually - are two very different sets of feelings.
You know your wife well - so you probably know better (than any of us) the potential for the slope to become slippery. If you think she’s going to want to move to more shortly after she returns to dancing - then you have a very serious choice to make - or a very difficult talk to have.
Hopefully things will work out for the both of you.
She never allowed anything to happen to her in her time of dancing. No drugs. Etc. But what bothers me is knowing that she will excite men. And I get that. At this point I think she just needs to feel that power they feel up on stage. And know she still has it. And I’m ok with that. It’s just all the other baggage that can come with it. And I do trust her. But it’s such a conflicting feeling. I used to have a nice exotic sports car. And I always turned heads. And people loved to look at it. And wished they could drive it. And honestly. She is the same. A drop dead gorgeous Colombian that breaks necks everywhere we go. And I’m ok with people looking knowing that it’s only for me. But I won’t be able to handle it if someone grabs her. Touches her inappropriately or disrespects her. So we have some things to discuss.
Funny thing is it’s a loser like you that tosses your life savings just fantasizing about a girl like her. But you obviously don’t have the pull or life I have to have it as a reality. So I applaud you for wasting your hourly wages on a dancer.
I'm skeptical about your post, but I'll play along.
Would you trust any of us with your wife, because I'm a sauve mother fucker (at least compared to my fellow creepy strip club PLs) who's got money to burn, and I'd be looking to fuck her. Would you believe any stripper in regards to what she says she does or doesn't do if they weren't your wife? What are you (not) doing in your relationship to the point she wants to go back to stripping with the main reason seemingly surrounding building up her esteem and making her feel empowered?
Now after thinking about all that, the next questions are, how secure are you with yourself and your marriage and did you at any point realize when you married a stripper that this would be inevitable? Girls who strip are not known for being able to live normal lives, no matter how hard they try.
I feel your dimemma. My first instinct would be to tell her “No fucking way!” But if not letting her dance leads to the breakup of the marriage, what good does that do? And if she returns and it leads her down a path of no good, that too will destroy the marriage. Seems like your damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
I’d tell her no until the situation becomes untenable and you can sense it’s really upsetting her. Then I’d relent. By that point you might not have a choice.
Nothing to be skeptical about. We have a very good intense relationship. But you are correct. They have a very difficult time returning to normal work. It’s proven. And I’m happy to say I’m a high earner. And it’s not the money. Not the sex. She just has been dealing with feelings of inadequacy at work. From being worshipped. To being told to do menial boring tasks that a women of her beauty would never dream of. At the end of the day I don’t think she could really do it. But it has been a topic between us.
really, your wife wants to go back to work as a stripper but youre a high earner. why would she risk losing a high earner, just for attention. even though you earn money youre still of low value, youre pathetic
All she would be doing is opening herself up to temptation from another man. Lets say you had a fight earlier in the day, would that lead her to a little revenge? What would she think if you started going to clubs again and getting grinded on by other women? Maybe ask her that.
Money doesn’t buy happiness douchebag. So while I appreciate the sincere replies. It’s honestly the dumb comments that make me realize just the type of people that she would unfortunately come into contact with. Internet tough guys that probably wouldn’t say one word to my face if they could. Low value? Lmao. Your the same loser who has to leave his fat Walmart wife at home to go waste money on a girl that lives off of manipulating stupid people. If you actually fuck at clubs. Then FYI. Those are prostitutes. Not dancers of the real kind. And by the way. I would have no problem meeting any internet wannabe tough guy.
Galizabob that is a very real concern. And those are the reasons at this point I think this is never going to materialize. She has even said she really just appreciated me saying if she wanted to she could. Showing her that I wasn’t jealous or controlling. Telling her no initially would be a case of only making her want to rebel more. So I think we are fine.
Jon, you are coming on this site and asking for people's opinions. It may not be what you want to hear, but they are giving them to you. I'm glad that you are such a STUD that you got a stripper to marry you. But don't attempt to insult people for voicing their opinion when you are the visitor.
Hey Warrior. It’s not about people’s opinions. Yours is valid. But read people who say things like she misses gagging on cock. That’s dumb. You think me responding negatively to those is insulting people. Why not acknowledge the assholes that are actually insulting people.
I have actually been appreciative of people who responded positively or negatively with my question. Because I need pros and cons. But insulting comments. You have the wrong person. Read the others.
Just going off what I've seen and experienced in life. The second she asked, you're marriage ending clock started to tick. She's getting back on the pole with or without you're approval. Enjoy the cash but prepare for the divorce and don't let the coming drama destroy you. Good luck.
If she is that hot then of course we want to meet her in the club so let her go. On the flip side if this is not a money thing you should look at what is missing your marriage that makes her want to go back to the club for excitement. Maybe you need to take her out more to social events where she can show off and boost her ego where she isnt straddling some random guy. You know girls can feel hot and in control without having to resort to stripping.
Based on your concerns I would say the clock is ticking with you and her and you better figure out how to make her feel that way again. If she starts stripping again either your worries or stripper vices may blow it up.
Jonsnow76 sounds to me that she just misses all the attention. I've noticed that beautiful woman seem like they NEED to be desired by not just one man, but by a lot of men. This is why they constantly post the sexy Instagram pics or why they have to dress hella sexy even going some normal place like Target. I had a past GF who was like this and it got tiring reading all these random dudes posts on her social media pictures complimenting her body or just plain nasty posts. I ended up breaking it off with her when I saw she'd never stop all the social media flirting. I plain didn't trust her at that point, who knows, she could've been fucking all kinds of other guys.
I don't know what to tell you because I'd have serious problems with the scenario you posted. All I can say is good luck. About the only way I would be ok with it is if it was a straight up air dance only club. Then, they're looking but not touching.
If your relationship is that strong enough and trust her enough, then by all means let her go for it. And if she feels that strongly about it, trying to convince her otherwise is only going to worsen the cracks. Sounds like she's aware of some of your concerns (no vip/cr etc) and I'd continue the conversation about what you're comfortable or uncomfortable (air dance, mileage, GFEs w/other men, etc) with and see where she stands.
ETA if all the above checks off, you gotta look at yourself. And if you're secure enough to handle other men gawking and groping at her, knowing she's got a better man at home, then it shouldn't bother you if you truly trust her and her limits.
She only wanted to do stage dance. No lap dance. No other stuff. And wanted to work only when I could attend. She stated she missed the way I would look up at her. Listen. I get it. And in life. Clocks never stop ticking in any environment. Marriage is a very hard work anyways. And she and I do great work. I knew marrying her would bring some rather hefty baggage and pain. So I get it.
@Jonsnow76- you sound like a typical whipped monger, tell me bro are you in the habit of paying woman to make you miserable, because that’s how you sound. You say you make good bread, well you need to spend some of that on yourself, if you aren’t enough for her, tell her to go back to stripping and see how the real goddesses live. Guaranfuckantee she ain’t gonna live as good without you. She just wants to have her cake and yours too.
So let me get this right: all she'd be doing is stage dancing? No lap dances, no VIP/CR? And only when you can attend? What club would hire her for those extremely limited terms? Sounds like the only purpose for this is an adrenaline rush for her, no revenue for the club besides the tips she'd get onstage. I can't see any club hiring her.
a21985 said “how secure are you with yourself and your marriage and did you at any point realize when you married a stripper that this would be inevitable? Girls who strip are not known for being able to live normal lives, no matter how hard they try.”
i agree. and you simply need to trust her as i am sure you do when she goes shopping and out with her friends.
and personally i think an open relationship is far more realistic.
I don't think this is an appropriate platform to ask this question. Like I said, I would recommend you speak with a therapist (and perhaps couples therapy). You're not going to get the appropriate responses here that would in anyway help your situation. I understand your situation but do not forget that you met your wife in a SC. I think there's that one rare unicorn that meets the love of her life and forgets about the SC lifestyle. A majority of dancers probably have difficulty forgetting that lifestyle
Funny how women always have to create drama be it staying in touch with old ex or going out partying with the hot single friends. Marriage is hard enough without that BS. It's always something.
She had actually stated she would like a once or twice a month afternoon shift with me and her on stage only. My feelings are that once she set foot out there she would not like it. And has expressed that feels like she wouldn’t. And yes she is hot enough to be hired for a once or twice a month only. But I think she is only remembering the glamor she perceives to be her past. And not all the hurt and pain and obvious ptsd she carries from her time.
I've never dated a dancer, only in my lust, fantasy mind. I can see where you're coming from that other men will be getting turned on by her. And I don't want to cast doubt, but I find it hard to shake VIP and CR when someone is making twice the money they are on the main floor, and much of the fantasy we go for, build up, is because we think something special will have in VIP or CR. But you and her know your trust so if that's solid, then what she's wanting is probably too.
why would youre wife have ptsd if shes a "clean" dancer?? youre just a troll...my wife out of respect would not ask me if she could dance, or watch her get fucked by another cock. im secure enough to say no. Youre low value not matter how you put it. you say im an internet tough guy because i hide behind screen, but youre wife is telling you to your face. you should be checking her. why would you even marry her knowing her past...lol
Has she tried modeling for attention? Any clubs have amateur nights in other area? The comments of some seems to upset you. Just wondering how easy you will get upset with you wife dancing again?
What type of dancing did she preform for you at the SC when you were 'dating'? Would you be comfortable with her dancing like that with the SC custy today?
All of the comments that upset me. Is only because that’s not what I was asking. There have been numerous productive comments good and bad. But real. The bad comments only reflect a potential sc customer that my wife would have never given the time of day to do to their lack of any perceived civility or class. I mean we all have gone. And all know what to expect and enjoy. As far as my experience with her in a club. Sexy as hell. Lots of rules. No touching. She never did cr or vip anyways. Lap dances yes.
Is her finding another non-stripping, but more fulfilling, job an option? It seems the core of this problem (if it's real) is that she's not finding contentment in her current work. My CF (at least the story she tells me) has been balancing doing dancing and school for her post-stripper life in professional career. Sooner or later her good looks eventually won't be good enough to be entirely the source of her self-esteem.
It all stems from once feeing like a star to feeling like she has to eat shit in a mundane job for admittedly way less money. If she found something that was fulfilling yet paid low. She would be fine. Or vice versa.
If you are getting upset, its most likely because you didn't want to hear the truth, you just wanted to hear yourself humble brag, that you think you got more game than most and truth be told, you don't really have as much game as you think, you can't keep your woman satisfied, so the real danger is you gonna lose her, if not this time sooner rather than later.
I'm not sure I would like it, but also not sure I would/could stop it.
Just have honest and open discussions beforehand about both of your expectations and go from there. If you "forbid" it, that's likely only going to make things worse.
If she can truly be a hands-on dancer, then maybe you can deal with it. But I don't know of any club where a dancer can only be a stage dancer and not make the rounds. Sounds counterproductive for both the club and the dancer.
When she was dancing b4 you met her, I assure you she was giving serious handsy dances to any and all of us custies that had cash for VIP's and maybe even OTC. Take that into consideration b4 you agree to anything. While you are at work any given day, there is an even better chance that she will go to the club and do what she wants to do. I can speak from a long time live in relationship with a dancer. Guarantee that you will lose period, no matter whatever you and she decide. Remember she gets half of whatever you have now when the inevitable divorce happens. You are in an unenviable situation that will undoubtedly end badly.
I would let her go back to stripping. Youve only been married a year eventually every married women goes through the "you cant control me stage"... im pretty sure you met her at the club so just love her and support her. If shes doing some dirt behind your back, it will soon come to light.
Twenty five sorry I’m too busy humble bragging with my whore wife. It’s just amazing at how nasty certain individuals are with their nonsensical comments. It really must make them feel better about themselves and their lives. I shouldn’t have expected much different. I didn’t come here to brag. Or to insult. I asked a fucking question to a bunch of people who are like minded individuals. And while I got good responses. There will always be the wanna be alpha males that feel the need to hurl insults at another man they don’t know. So kudos to you for hitting the nail on the head. Your right. I’m a small limp dicked man who married a whore and was used for a green card. Lmao. I don’t judge my wife for who she was. Or may still be. She has been worth every second of my life that we have been together. One thing a loser like you will not ever learn is that in any favor of life there are the good ones and the bad ones. So to throw insults at a target you will never encounter is just honestly super pathetic. And all of the others on this topic that didn’t act like a Neanderthal or embarrass the male race would agree with me. So go back up into your bedroom of your moms house. Spy on your sister showering. And enjoy slapping people in the face with your keyboard.
^^^Funny you would say that I just gave you the truth and you hurled a bunch of insults. Kind of proves my point anyway, you just aren't ready to face reality buddy.
She spent time working at strip clubs. You have no clue as to whether she gave extras in clubs or did any OTC where bj, fs was carried on. So in re-cap, she probably was or maybe still is a whore. You my fellow, monger was and undoubtedly still is a f×%#ing jerk to call out any one on this board.
Only called out cocksuckers like you. So I will join the tough guys. Why don’t you both eat a dick. So hardcore you actually think I give a fuck. Hotdog. Your the fucking jerk. Did you actually answer the question. Or just think it was cool to call people pathetic or say someone’s wife is a whore. None of you know anything other than what I stated. This is a waste of time. You all win. I will go cry in my corner as my wife divorces me. Fuck of faggots. So enjoy your laughs. Because like I said. I’m done with this. It’s not productive. I got what I deserved from a board about a bunch of smaller dick faggots that have to pay girls like my wife to make them feel masculine. Fucking losers. Your no better than the whores you pay.
Fuck you fuck you. Ban me moderators. Because this is just fucking childish and gay. So while your kids are in bed. Have fun lying to your families crying on girls like my wife’s shoulders about your fucking pathetic lives.
All of your comments lashing out at mongers that disagree with your position, or lack thereof speak wonders as to what a pathetic tiny brain you have in Both of your useless heads. We will all go back to doing what we want to do without a care in the world about your lost situation.
@jon, I still don't know if you're trolling or not (if it makes you feel, I kinda assume most people on here troll every so often, to the point I'm suspicious about myself), but I have another simple observation for you.
If you have trouble dealing with some guys behind a keyboard busting your balls, I don't you're cut out for dealing with being married to an active stripper (whether she's a high mileage girl or not). Simply based on what I've seen from your responses, there honestly does appear to be some pretty clear insecurity issues you got going on when it comes to this topic. That isn't me busting your balls, this is what is just clear as day to me, her doing this is going to eat you alive from the inside out.
I truly think you should find a way to talk her out of going this way and have her find a different outlet for what she is looking for.
Jon, why don't you just throw a couple of babies in her and keep her occupied with something else for a while?
But ok, assuming she is set on doing this, good luck with that. I think you're being terribly naive about what she was and wasn't doing to earn money before she met you. Dancers who are as anti-septic in their cleanliness as you believe she was tend to go hungry and that was as true 6 years (or more) years ago as it is today.
More important, however, is that the vast majority of strippers who return to stripping when they are married do so because they are looking to create an escape hatch. Simply put, if you are really earning well and she cannot think of anything better to do with her time (like, idk, take care of your kids, become active in local charities, better herself in real ways, etc.) than take her clothes off for other guys in a strip club, then you're probably much more fucked than you realize.
So you married a woman who doesn't give a fuck about you, or how you feel and you think we are disrespecting you. You do a good job of disrespecting yourself, we just pointed that out to you and you go into a full blown temper tantrum, like a child, who's blankie was taken away from him. Go back to Stripper Web or wherever yo came from troll.
I’m not a troll. So move on. Secondly. The two who replied minus 25. Both very good points. Do not assume that I think my wife’s occupation before me was 100% sterile. I’m not naive or stupid. But. I chose to marry her. So I have also chosen to accept the baggage and have accepted her admissions to me as being true. If I married her to only assume she was a liar than shame on me. As far as I know. This could just be a mid life crisis. And to all of you who haven’t crossed the line otc as you put it. How would you know. There is a person behind the glitter and lights of the fantasy. We are parents. We live together. We travel together. We provide. You think being married to a non stripper ensures you that you won’t be cheated on? Yeah right. Life happens. Do have have insecurities about her returning. Wonder if I can absolutely trust every shift or situation she may encounter. Who the hell wouldn’t. I’m only human. Does her dancing on a stage for me turn me on. Yes. Does the thought of another man getting too hands on anger me. Yes. So it’s not going to work. Does that mean she is going to leave me. Divorce me. Not a chance. Every person struggles with something at some point in time. People lose their marriages to money issues. Deaths in families. Etc. Just because she and I are talking about something that she expressed to me doesn’t mean the clock is ticking. Nor does it mean I am stupid. And she is going to fuck guys or leave me. It just means she has been feeling unfulfilled for the moment. Yes. One person. No matter how wealthy. How big there game is. Or how big their dick is. Is always going to satisfy another 100% of the time for eternity without a moment or two with some feelings of being slightly off. I applaud her for speaking to me honestly. And know that she will make the right decision for her. With my support. You can’t control anyone. It will backfire. So please. All get off your high horse and realize that this was a question posed by a real couple.
Again 25. Your super low brow. You just continue to prove my point. You could have spoken like an actual person rather than a complete dick. You can’t back peddle now and still come at me saying I married a girl who doesn’t give a fuck about me. That’s stupid as fuck to make that statement. And you have done nothing since your first reply other than to disrespect a person who didn’t start shit with you. You did with me. So I’ll gladly hand you your blanky back mother fucker.
I think that if you love her, you’re going to support her, and not try to make things difficult for her. If you trust her, as you say you do, then you have nothing about which to worry on the “extras” front.
So, what’s your objection to her dancing?
Attention from other guys? That’s the trust issue.
That she won’t stop when you tell her to? Well, she’s your wife, not your slave.
That she’ll get into some bad shit? Trust again.
That the PTSD you mentioned will come to the fore? That’s the support thing.
Jon posted --->"There is a person behind the glitter and lights of the fantasy."
Nah, really? Thanks for letting us know that. After all, it's not like any of us have been dealing with strippers for decades in a variety of venues and situations. ;)
Jon also posted --->"It just means she has been feeling unfulfilled for the moment. "
And therein lies your problem. Or, more specifically, what she is planning to do about it. You really should give more consideration as to why, out of an infinite number of options she has, especially with you being a "high earner" and all, she feels that this is her best possible option. Nobody but you is buying that nonsense about her doing it to feel sexy and empowered. Much more likely is the escape hatch theory I laid out above.
I know you've convinced yourself that you're doing the right thing with the beta male collaborative and supportive route that you intend to take, but you're probably shooting yourself in the foot by not holding her to her original promise. If you really treasure her as much as you claim, then you'd fight for your marriage a bit more than that, maybe by trying to figure out what's really going on and seeing if you could support her in any other way/endeavor besides becoming a play thing for other men. In my experience, the personality types that strip in the first place often struggle with other aspects of vanilla life besides work.
Anyway, good luck I suppose. Maybe some of the tusclers who you have objected strongly to will be among those contributing to her moving out nest egg, though no doubt they'll be doing a lot more with her than sitting on their hands during an air dance. ;)
This sounds like a waste of time tbh?? I wish I had free time like this—
So, she’s going to go in and stage dance only?? And what, make about $10-50 on a 6 hour shift?? And her house fee is going to be $40+ and then $20+ to tip the staff?? Plus buying outfits, shoes, tanning, etc??
So actually she is paying to do something you can do for free at home?????
Why would YOU need to be there, exactly?
Customers will obviously see her and ask her for a dance. So according to your plan, she has to tell them “no, I don’t do dances.” Here’s the result of that:
The customers tell the other dancers/managers that she doesn’t do dances. She gets fired because, well, why else are dancers even at the club?
Or,
If, somehow, this plan works, you will get tired of going for this boring outing and eventually she’s going to say “ok just one dance,” and at that point, the door is open for “just $100” and “just a 15 minute CR,” etc etc.
I know many dancers who are in long term marriages/relationships but this plan you have is boo boo. I don’t know any dancer who is in the game for attention; therapy, as suggested by others, sounds like a better investment of resources.
If she only wants to do it once or twice a month I wouldn't be particularly worried. Why not let her try it once and see how it goes. As pinksugardoll sort of stated it might end up being a fail at least as far as the money goes. But it might be better for you to let her fail rather than hold her back.
Past that if I were in your shoes I would think hard about how I could do a better job giving her whatever she is missing (affirmation, compliments, etc). Please don't take this as a personal dig, I freely admit I have problems myself I am not trying to say I am better than you. Best of luck my bro!
It wouldn't surprise me if she had another reason for wanting to dance. I've heard stories of married strippers wanting to dance again and their marriages don't last. You probably don't want her meeting and talking to hundreds of guys every week tempting her do you? All it takes is her thinking just this one time, hubby won't ever know and suddenly she's making a lot of extra cash without you knowing. The temptation will be there.
Think about it the other way. Your wife makes good money but you don't unless you strip. You ask your wife permission to go back to work as a male stripper. You tell her you will only do stage dancing. It's not enough to make tip out. Soon you are doing more thinking spouse won't know. All is good. Temptation will be strong to hook up and do more. I don't know you or spouse. Maybe you are a couple that stays together and can resist temptation. However right now she can't even resist the urge to go strip again.
Jon the best advice I heard was see a (couples) therapist. I don't think dancing is the issue and I don't think you should ask this board for marital advice. If something goes wrong your marriage is over. Isn't she worth it? Talk to a professional Jon.
Jon - Mistake 1 Falling in love with a stripper. The make a living by extracting your money through making you believe something that is not real. Mistake 2 Not getting counciling to get to the real problem that is driving her desire to return. Mistake 3 Not expecting a barrage of inflammatory comments posted by a bunch of mongers that would enjoy to opportunity to take your wife to the champagne room and prove they are right. Now everyone is thinking about doing your wife. Mistake 4 continuing to even read the posts being made here. Stop reading and get into marriage counciling before it’s too late!
This is the kind of crazy thread I love TUSCL for.
Jonsnow76, no disrespect, but if this was a real effort to elicit serious responses I'd like to point out you sort of said everything that needed to be said in the original post. You said that your wife stripping was a "slippery slope" that could "morph into something more".
True. Without knowing you and your wife none of us can know the likelihood that her stripping will morph into something more.
So the crazy TUSCL posters do what they do best: discuss strippers doing crazy things at strip clubs! I am shocked, however, that none of the TUSCL posters asked you to post pictures of your wife's tits. I was sure that request was going to appear within the first five replies.
TUSCL posters, when a man posts that his wife wants to be a stripper please request some tit pics. Or pussy pics. Or butthole pics. They're all brilliant!
And if this was trolling I have one thing to say to Jonsnow76: brilliant trolling! You got everybody worked up!
I was even going to comment that calling twentyfive "lowbrow" might be more convincing if you had used "you're" instead of "your". But since it is possible that you're trolling I'll just tip my hat to you for some truly aces trolling!
Do I get any pics of your wife's butthole for tipping my hat to you?
But I only want them if she's really sexy. Ugly girl butthole = non-brilliant! ;)
Ok. I’ve got the solution for you. Your wife should stay away from stripping. If she’s got the height and looks - she should do runway modeling. It gets her on somewhat of a stage - makes her the center of attention - it doesn’t allow for guys to grope her. It pays very good money too. Problem solved. Your welcome.
Js76: "The advice in this thread is worth the amount that you paid for it". And... I'm not going to play along, for a bunch of reasons. I've never (knowingly) met you or your wife. I don't know to what extent your wife's vanilla job sucks that it would drive her back to dancing. I don't know (nor am I interested in knowing) your household unit financial situation. Etc, etc, etc..... Freebie "buddy" advice can give some element of warm fuzzies, but I'm not picking up very good buddy vibes from several of your posts.
Several posters have taken their time to provide you with some useful advice. Could you please return the favor to the board, and let us know how whatever fork in the road you take works out ? Oh, and good luck in whatever choice you make.
"Ok. I’ve got the solution for you. Your wife should stay away from stripping. If she’s got the height and looks - she should do runway modeling. It gets her on somewhat of a stage - makes her the center of attention - it doesn’t allow for guys to grope her. It pays very good money too. Problem solved. Your welcome."
I'm assuming his wife is probably in her 40s. How exactly is she going to get into modeling at such an advanced age?
Seems not uncommon for many wives to feel unfulfilled and/or burned-out with suburban life and need something more than being Mr X's wife.
She may need to find her own passion other than just being a wife and working a job she's miserable at.
IMO everyone is suited to be good at an excel in something, it's often just finding it.
Her wanting to strip may just be the symptom and it may not end up giving her what she's looking for, especially with all the restrictions she would have stripping per what you've mentioned.
She should try something else to get her mojo, but if she really wants to do it then in the end she's an adult and not a child so you may have to let her try it.
If as you say she misses being a star, you my friend are not doing your job.
she is an adult. She will do it or not regardless of what you say. Tell her how you feel then support her decision. If she does it and she fails, it will be your fault for not supporting her. If she succeeds you will still be an asshole for not supporter her. If she doesn't do it because you insisted she not, you will be an asshole for standing in her way.
Lolruned - you make a reasonable point. I’m not sure of his wife’s age. However, considering the potential earning power of a 40 something dancer - who doesn’t do anything outside of stage dances - a try at modeling could be more profitable.
"Lolruned - you make a reasonable point. I’m not sure of his wife’s age. However, considering the potential earning power of a 40 something dancer - who doesn’t do anything outside of stage dances - a try at modeling could be more profitable."
You need to get into modeling at a younger age typically. A lot of these women are recruited by modeling agencies in high school. There is little to no chance she would be able to break into modeling with zero experience as a mid 30s+ woman. Unless she has superior connections and/or money to burn, maybe she could get into local modeling. It is far more reasonable for her to break into instagram and maybe get a following. Modeling is super competitive and you cannot just be an attractive person to succeed
She is in her late 30’s yes. Model? She did that for most of her 20’s and early 30’s professionally. But at this time not an option as she has passed that prime. As far as looks. She is still in my book and I am sure others a 10!
This is an unmoderated site and many of us take liberty with that and bust each other's balls locker-room-humor style - i.e don't take anything on here too seriously/personal, it's kinda the nature of an unmoderated sex site
Once a stripper, possibly a stripper again. I don't know the future. Free advice is worth what you pay for it. Possibly nothing.
For better advice and opinions, we really do need to see her tits. Then we can decide if she could have a brilliant future as a stripper. We are working blind as a bat on this one.
I meant to say this earlier but yeah modeling. I am kinda big time at modeling. Very knowledgeable. There’s a huge market for fit milfs, you can get so many gifts, or gift cards if you prefer, if you know how to market yourself on IG. I don’t think you’ll like the results of this but it’s out there.
I know his is a few days old, but I’ve been away. I have been the woman in this position. I met my ex dancing, and I missed it, and asked if I could go back, but he wouldn’t let me. I think I would have been a lot happier in the marriage if he’d have let me tho. I liked the creative and competitive outlet. Plus, I would have liked to bring in my own money, without having to dedicate myself to a real job. Yes, it’s the sex industry, and she will do things that make you jealous, so she prolly won’t even tell you. Maybe just kissing a guy, or letting them suck her breasts, or giving someone her number. The thing is, you can’t really keep someone by chaining them up. If she’s unhappy, you won’t never able to keep her anyways. Maybe she can just dance during the summers, or once a week. I’d try to keep it as a novelty, so that she doesn’t get pressure from regulars. Night shift is better for this also.
Well said Bj99. There is more to it. She may find a feeling of satisfaction from bringing home money she’s earned.
Regardless of her husbands substantial income and material possessions - he may have difficulty with jealousy - and she may simply be another one of his possessions.
Listen please. My comment about income was not a brag or meant to be. Rather to state a point that the money wasn’t a motivator for her returning to dance. I don’t look at her as a possession. Rather I look at her as a flesh and blood human that has needs and wants that cannot be bought. I more than fulfill her sexually. We travel a lot. And she has a great life as I do with her as well. But what I cannot provide is the feeling she felt when she was adored on stage. When guys were pawing at her. When she felt like her beauty made the harshest boss beg for her attention. I’m a good man. But if that is what makes her feel empowered then I can’t do that or provide that. She says she misses seeing me look up to her like I did when I first met her. I really feel for her because I cannot imagine the inner turmoil she feels at her boring vanilla jobs.
^ ive known girls who refused to even give dances/vips bc they just liked the stage and had boyfriends. Maybe she can do this. She should still make a couple hundred on a good night, if it’s a decent club. You should talk to her ab how she feels, and try you’re best to hear her out, without pushing her.
I agree with Bj99. You don't want her to feel like you are holding holding her back. Let her try it once, set some limits, and then work on your marriage.
This may sound strange. But our marriage is great. This is just a personal crisis she is experiencing and I may just let her try. I mean I get to see her dance again on stage. She will be looking hot and sexy. And I trust her.
@stripfighter, the OP has stated he’s not comfortable with her doing this, so this will make him unhappy that’s the rationale not that one necessarily leads to another.
As an aside I can’t imagine any man with healthy self esteem being happy with this turn of events and our OP obviously has some fear of losing his marriage if he makes his preference known.
25 finally a statement not filled with vile and contempt for me or my wife. And I get it. What do you care about either of us. Nothing. And you are right. What makes me uncomfortable is the unknown. I’m ok with all of the stuff she claims is all she will do. I’m not ok with the rest. Which she states she has never been a part of. We have a family together. And Pandora’s box sometimes should stay closed. But at this moment. It hasn’t been mentioned by her or me for a while. So it in most cases is a mid life crisis.
@jonsnow my statements earlier in this post weren’t very harsh at all you are just too sensitive and I stand by what I said if she gave a damn about you she’d be trying to make you happy and be thankful for the nice lifestyle you say you’ve provided for her. Sorry if you don’t like that but I’d never back off my remarks I meant them as advice even though you took them as an attack.
Ok I wasn’t looking for you to back off. Your opinion is yours and yours alone. But calling me a pussy whipped faggot doesn’t move a point along. Either way I really don’t care. I mean I got what I got from people who don’t know the story. And it doesn’t matter. Your only going off your own experience. And me too. So I’m over it.
Jon posted: --->"...Rather to state a point that the money wasn’t a motivator for her returning to dance."
Now writes about this stuff like he read about it on a badly written story page, so I don't really buy any of it anyway. But just in case its true... ;)
Of course it was about the money, either because she wants to earn her own money or because she wants options that don't involve you. It sounds like she's spinning whatever you need to hear in order to get you on board.
However, I'm sort of surprised that the lion, vulture, and shark haven't showed up to ask Jonsnow76 if his wife wants to get gangbanged by a zoo. That would be some aces trolling!
To move past the name calling - there was a valid point made - as it’s very difficult to stop a spouse from doing something they really want to do. You can say no, but that could lead to larger issues later.
Some women will accept the no - and act like they’ve moved on. But the effects can manifest themselves later - and it can be challenging to understand why something unrelated has pissed her off so much.
A simple option might be to have her try a amateur night? Let her see if it still feels as good as it did.
How long has it been since she was last on stage? If it’s only been a few years - 2-3 years - then she’s probably not far from her previous body. She might be able to get right back at it - but she might not want the other hassles that come from working in a strip club.
If it’s been 10 years - she might not have an easy time of it. She might realize quickly that it’s not for her anymore - and put it to rest.
It’s easy to remember past jobs and focus largely on the positives or negatives only. However, when you actually get back to a place - both the good and the bad are present. The good experiences might be tempered with reality - and it can put some desires to rest.
At the same time, if a husband is really uncomfortable with his wife dancing his being a pussy and just giving in will also lead to problems down the road.
This situation takes good old honest communication and a willingness to work with each other to figure a solution that is best for the two of them as a couple.
If an acceptable resolution can't be found, maybe the marriage isn't very strong and separating might be a good idea. If this is such a big issue, there will certainly be others. Marriage can't last based entirely on lust, even if she is a large breasted Colombian.
The bigger issue her is how you view your wife and not her stripping. you pedalize and idolize her.
Deuteronomy 8:19
"It shall come about if you ever forget the LORD your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I testify against you today that you will surely perish."
Rickdugan when I say it’s not about the money. I mean she and I together don’t need it to survive. When you mention that she may want to have her own money. That’s a different yet true statement. No matter what I earn and what she has access to doesn’t make her feel any better. She liked having lots of her own cash for whatever she needed. She hasn’t felt good about Christmas or my birthday because in her mind she is buying me stuff with my money. I don’t view it that way. But that’s her. I’m lucky and happy to say that her body is still killer as are her looks. So that’s not an issue. We will figure it out. And make the best of whatever happens.
I only worship one idea. And it isn’t her. Or money. I only look at her with respect. I was married and divorced. And the way she treats me and me her is something impossible to describe.
If i had a drop dead gorgeous columbian as a wife,I wouldn't care about the strip clubs! Yhe most beautiful women in the world are from columbia! See shakira as a example!
I've got nothing to add to this. It is a very slippery slope. If she does it you will find yourself reading reviews of her club waiting for one of us to post about her, it can get ugly quick.
@c-man: Spell check Nazi time: The country in South America is spelled COLOMBIA, the city in Missouri is spelled COLUMBIA.
Imo, Colombian women look hot. Returning to regularly scheduled web surfing................
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You know your wife well - so you probably know better (than any of us) the potential for the slope to become slippery. If you think she’s going to want to move to more shortly after she returns to dancing - then you have a very serious choice to make - or a very difficult talk to have.
Hopefully things will work out for the both of you.
She misses the feeling of a cock making her gag
Would you trust any of us with your wife, because I'm a sauve mother fucker (at least compared to my fellow creepy strip club PLs) who's got money to burn, and I'd be looking to fuck her. Would you believe any stripper in regards to what she says she does or doesn't do if they weren't your wife? What are you (not) doing in your relationship to the point she wants to go back to stripping with the main reason seemingly surrounding building up her esteem and making her feel empowered?
Now after thinking about all that, the next questions are, how secure are you with yourself and your marriage and did you at any point realize when you married a stripper that this would be inevitable? Girls who strip are not known for being able to live normal lives, no matter how hard they try.
I’d tell her no until the situation becomes untenable and you can sense it’s really upsetting her. Then I’d relent. By that point you might not have a choice.
Based on your concerns I would say the clock is ticking with you and her and you better figure out how to make her feel that way again. If she starts stripping again either your worries or stripper vices may blow it up.
I don't know what to tell you because I'd have serious problems with the scenario you posted. All I can say is good luck. About the only way I would be ok with it is if it was a straight up air dance only club. Then, they're looking but not touching.
Good luck.
i agree. and you simply need to trust her as i am sure you do when she goes shopping and out with her friends.
and personally i think an open relationship is far more realistic.
What type of dancing did she preform for you at the SC when you were 'dating'? Would you be comfortable with her dancing like that with the SC custy today?
In the organization I am building there will be balance and a lack of contradictions.
SJG
Mike Oldfield 'Tubular Bells' Live at the BBC 1973 (high quality / remastered)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7MY_cdU…
By the time you need this lifeboat, this post will be gone:
http://testosteronelifeboat.freeforums.n…
Just have honest and open discussions beforehand about both of your expectations and go from there. If you "forbid" it, that's likely only going to make things worse.
If she can truly be a hands-on dancer, then maybe you can deal with it. But I don't know of any club where a dancer can only be a stage dancer and not make the rounds. Sounds counterproductive for both the club and the dancer.
If you have trouble dealing with some guys behind a keyboard busting your balls, I don't you're cut out for dealing with being married to an active stripper (whether she's a high mileage girl or not). Simply based on what I've seen from your responses, there honestly does appear to be some pretty clear insecurity issues you got going on when it comes to this topic. That isn't me busting your balls, this is what is just clear as day to me, her doing this is going to eat you alive from the inside out.
I truly think you should find a way to talk her out of going this way and have her find a different outlet for what she is looking for.
Jon, why don't you just throw a couple of babies in her and keep her occupied with something else for a while?
But ok, assuming she is set on doing this, good luck with that. I think you're being terribly naive about what she was and wasn't doing to earn money before she met you. Dancers who are as anti-septic in their cleanliness as you believe she was tend to go hungry and that was as true 6 years (or more) years ago as it is today.
More important, however, is that the vast majority of strippers who return to stripping when they are married do so because they are looking to create an escape hatch. Simply put, if you are really earning well and she cannot think of anything better to do with her time (like, idk, take care of your kids, become active in local charities, better herself in real ways, etc.) than take her clothes off for other guys in a strip club, then you're probably much more fucked than you realize.
Good luck I suppose - you're going to need it.
So, what’s your objection to her dancing?
Attention from other guys? That’s the trust issue.
That she won’t stop when you tell her to? Well, she’s your wife, not your slave.
That she’ll get into some bad shit? Trust again.
That the PTSD you mentioned will come to the fore? That’s the support thing.
Anything else?
Do you prefer FIFA or Madden?
What is your favorite strain of marijuana?
When is your next gig?
Nah, really? Thanks for letting us know that. After all, it's not like any of us have been dealing with strippers for decades in a variety of venues and situations. ;)
Jon also posted --->"It just means she has been feeling unfulfilled for the moment. "
And therein lies your problem. Or, more specifically, what she is planning to do about it. You really should give more consideration as to why, out of an infinite number of options she has, especially with you being a "high earner" and all, she feels that this is her best possible option. Nobody but you is buying that nonsense about her doing it to feel sexy and empowered. Much more likely is the escape hatch theory I laid out above.
I know you've convinced yourself that you're doing the right thing with the beta male collaborative and supportive route that you intend to take, but you're probably shooting yourself in the foot by not holding her to her original promise. If you really treasure her as much as you claim, then you'd fight for your marriage a bit more than that, maybe by trying to figure out what's really going on and seeing if you could support her in any other way/endeavor besides becoming a play thing for other men. In my experience, the personality types that strip in the first place often struggle with other aspects of vanilla life besides work.
Anyway, good luck I suppose. Maybe some of the tusclers who you have objected strongly to will be among those contributing to her moving out nest egg, though no doubt they'll be doing a lot more with her than sitting on their hands during an air dance. ;)
This sounds like a waste of time tbh?? I wish I had free time like this—
So, she’s going to go in and stage dance only?? And what, make about $10-50 on a 6 hour shift?? And her house fee is going to be $40+ and then $20+ to tip the staff?? Plus buying outfits, shoes, tanning, etc??
So actually she is paying to do something you can do for free at home?????
Why would YOU need to be there, exactly?
Customers will obviously see her and ask her for a dance. So according to your plan, she has to tell them “no, I don’t do dances.” Here’s the result of that:
The customers tell the other dancers/managers that she doesn’t do dances. She gets fired because, well, why else are dancers even at the club?
Or,
If, somehow, this plan works, you will get tired of going for this boring outing and eventually she’s going to say “ok just one dance,” and at that point, the door is open for “just $100” and “just a 15 minute CR,” etc etc.
I know many dancers who are in long term marriages/relationships but this plan you have is boo boo. I don’t know any dancer who is in the game for attention; therapy, as suggested by others, sounds like a better investment of resources.
Past that if I were in your shoes I would think hard about how I could do a better job giving her whatever she is missing (affirmation, compliments, etc). Please don't take this as a personal dig, I freely admit I have problems myself I am not trying to say I am better than you. Best of luck my bro!
Think about it the other way. Your wife makes good money but you don't unless you strip. You ask your wife permission to go back to work as a male stripper. You tell her you will only do stage dancing. It's not enough to make tip out. Soon you are doing more thinking spouse won't know. All is good. Temptation will be strong to hook up and do more. I don't know you or spouse. Maybe you are a couple that stays together and can resist temptation. However right now she can't even resist the urge to go strip again.
Jonsnow76, no disrespect, but if this was a real effort to elicit serious responses I'd like to point out you sort of said everything that needed to be said in the original post. You said that your wife stripping was a "slippery slope" that could "morph into something more".
True. Without knowing you and your wife none of us can know the likelihood that her stripping will morph into something more.
So the crazy TUSCL posters do what they do best: discuss strippers doing crazy things at strip clubs! I am shocked, however, that none of the TUSCL posters asked you to post pictures of your wife's tits. I was sure that request was going to appear within the first five replies.
TUSCL posters, when a man posts that his wife wants to be a stripper please request some tit pics. Or pussy pics. Or butthole pics. They're all brilliant!
I was even going to comment that calling twentyfive "lowbrow" might be more convincing if you had used "you're" instead of "your". But since it is possible that you're trolling I'll just tip my hat to you for some truly aces trolling!
Do I get any pics of your wife's butthole for tipping my hat to you?
But I only want them if she's really sexy. Ugly girl butthole = non-brilliant! ;)
Several posters have taken their time to provide you with some useful advice. Could you please return the favor to the board, and let us know how whatever fork in the road you take works out ? Oh, and good luck in whatever choice you make.
I'm assuming his wife is probably in her 40s. How exactly is she going to get into modeling at such an advanced age?
She may need to find her own passion other than just being a wife and working a job she's miserable at.
IMO everyone is suited to be good at an excel in something, it's often just finding it.
Her wanting to strip may just be the symptom and it may not end up giving her what she's looking for, especially with all the restrictions she would have stripping per what you've mentioned.
She should try something else to get her mojo, but if she really wants to do it then in the end she's an adult and not a child so you may have to let her try it.
If u wanna get dancers' POV you can post your question on StripperWeb.com
If as you say she misses being a star, you my friend are not doing your job.
she is an adult. She will do it or not regardless of what you say. Tell her how you feel then support her decision. If she does it and she fails, it will be your fault for not supporting her. If she succeeds you will still be an asshole for not supporter her. If she doesn't do it because you insisted she not, you will be an asshole for standing in her way.
You need to get into modeling at a younger age typically. A lot of these women are recruited by modeling agencies in high school. There is little to no chance she would be able to break into modeling with zero experience as a mid 30s+ woman. Unless she has superior connections and/or money to burn, maybe she could get into local modeling. It is far more reasonable for her to break into instagram and maybe get a following. Modeling is super competitive and you cannot just be an attractive person to succeed
For better advice and opinions, we really do need to see her tits. Then we can decide if she could have a brilliant future as a stripper. We are working blind as a bat on this one.
Regardless of her husbands substantial income and material possessions - he may have difficulty with jealousy - and she may simply be another one of his possessions.
Doesn't add up. Happy people don't rock the boat.
So any guy who's married or w/an SO that goes to the SC automatically has a shitty relationship? Doesn't add up.
As an aside I can’t imagine any man with healthy self esteem being happy with this turn of events and our OP obviously has some fear of losing his marriage if he makes his preference known.
Now writes about this stuff like he read about it on a badly written story page, so I don't really buy any of it anyway. But just in case its true... ;)
Of course it was about the money, either because she wants to earn her own money or because she wants options that don't involve you. It sounds like she's spinning whatever you need to hear in order to get you on board.
However, I'm sort of surprised that the lion, vulture, and shark haven't showed up to ask Jonsnow76 if his wife wants to get gangbanged by a zoo. That would be some aces trolling!
Some women will accept the no - and act like they’ve moved on. But the effects can manifest themselves later - and it can be challenging to understand why something unrelated has pissed her off so much.
A simple option might be to have her try a amateur night? Let her see if it still feels as good as it did.
How long has it been since she was last on stage? If it’s only been a few years - 2-3 years - then she’s probably not far from her previous body. She might be able to get right back at it - but she might not want the other hassles that come from working in a strip club.
If it’s been 10 years - she might not have an easy time of it. She might realize quickly that it’s not for her anymore - and put it to rest.
It’s easy to remember past jobs and focus largely on the positives or negatives only. However, when you actually get back to a place - both the good and the bad are present. The good experiences might be tempered with reality - and it can put some desires to rest.
This situation takes good old honest communication and a willingness to work with each other to figure a solution that is best for the two of them as a couple.
If an acceptable resolution can't be found, maybe the marriage isn't very strong and separating might be a good idea. If this is such a big issue, there will certainly be others. Marriage can't last based entirely on lust, even if she is a large breasted Colombian.
Deuteronomy 8:19
"It shall come about if you ever forget the LORD your God and go after other gods and serve them and worship them, I testify against you today that you will surely perish."
"Wife wants to go back to slurping"
Imo, Colombian women look hot. Returning to regularly scheduled web surfing................