Dancing and hypocrisy - could a loved one be a dancer?
Dominic77
Cleveland, Ohio
I also thought about the tribal split and the hypocrisy. Would we let a loved one or someone we care about, a daughter or a wife, become a dancer? I know it sounds odd because we don’t really give them permission. The other person still have free will and don’t need to “ask permission” of us to do things. So it’s not like we “let them” or we “don’t let them”.
Initially, the logical, progressive (liberal) side of me said, yes, I could let a loved one be a dancer. After all, I love going to strip clubs and talking to and getting dances with dancers. It would be hypocritical of me to not let someone I love be a dancer when I myself enjoy dancers so very much.
It’s the golden rule. Treat others how you’d want to be treated. But was my understanding of it somewhat childlike and too naive? It’s not meant applied literally. At least for adults.
Don’t bring candy to school at eat it in front of everyone unless you brought enough to share. So like I’m supposed to share my family with other PLs just because I like dancers? Um, okay, seems fair. Sure, I’ll let that guy from San Fran play with my daughter two knuckles deep in her ass. Sure, I’ll let that white, polyester suit wearing guy from NYC play with my daughter in a hotel room for a hour before she sobers up and changes her mind. Ooo-kay. Seems fair. I’m open minded.
Except. No. I wouldn’t like it. I’d want better for her. The conservative side of me says, no. Does that mean I can’t enjoy SCs if I won’t throw a loved one to the lions? Can I still enjoy dancers while simultaneously being tribal about my own loved ones: e.g., if I had loved one who wanted to get into exotic dancing, I’d stop her and give her a full-court chest press. or just simply say, over my dead body. Tribal? Maybe. The heart says one thing but the brain tries to override it. Am I hypocritical to listen to my heart? Maybe not. Full time dancing is a tough gig and and tough sub-culture.
And by the grace a God I’m grateful for the women who do decide to dance. Without them there would be no strip clubs.
Initially, the logical, progressive (liberal) side of me said, yes, I could let a loved one be a dancer. After all, I love going to strip clubs and talking to and getting dances with dancers. It would be hypocritical of me to not let someone I love be a dancer when I myself enjoy dancers so very much.
It’s the golden rule. Treat others how you’d want to be treated. But was my understanding of it somewhat childlike and too naive? It’s not meant applied literally. At least for adults.
Don’t bring candy to school at eat it in front of everyone unless you brought enough to share. So like I’m supposed to share my family with other PLs just because I like dancers? Um, okay, seems fair. Sure, I’ll let that guy from San Fran play with my daughter two knuckles deep in her ass. Sure, I’ll let that white, polyester suit wearing guy from NYC play with my daughter in a hotel room for a hour before she sobers up and changes her mind. Ooo-kay. Seems fair. I’m open minded.
Except. No. I wouldn’t like it. I’d want better for her. The conservative side of me says, no. Does that mean I can’t enjoy SCs if I won’t throw a loved one to the lions? Can I still enjoy dancers while simultaneously being tribal about my own loved ones: e.g., if I had loved one who wanted to get into exotic dancing, I’d stop her and give her a full-court chest press. or just simply say, over my dead body. Tribal? Maybe. The heart says one thing but the brain tries to override it. Am I hypocritical to listen to my heart? Maybe not. Full time dancing is a tough gig and and tough sub-culture.
And by the grace a God I’m grateful for the women who do decide to dance. Without them there would be no strip clubs.
34 comments
So, to my point my long time OTC dancer says "Did you tell her to try stripping for $?" My response was "I diddnt want to be that guy". What I mean is I diddnt want to put her down a path where her old bad habits could manifest again and send her off the rails. I would also feel kinda like a pimp for some reason. Could she succeed? Sure, but she could also go down in flames hard and I would not want to be a part of that.
Judge me as you will.
Avoid the drugs.
Do your best to avoid drama with other dancers. If they go seeking it, don't give them the satisfaction of engaging in it. Let the other dancer dig her own hole and get in trouble.
See it as only an income supplement. Have another, or an additional, plan. That way, you can also choose not to do things you're not comfortable with if you don't want to -- like drugs, OTC with customers you don't necessarily trust, odd acts in the club that weird you out, whatever.
Keep your head screwed on straight. The guys might think they're falling in love; don't let them. The guys might think they own you; remind them they have to stay within their bounds, or let the bouncers do that for you when needed. Then again, don't be afraid to make things extra great for the right guys, particularly if you benefit.
If the club doesn't treat you right or make you feel comfortable, find another club. If no club does, then don't do it.
I'm a believer we should share our gifts if we don't get hurt while doing so. I'm not one to hoard my SO. I've always told her, if another guy comes along you like, and it's just physical or playful, go for it. As long as you (and whatever other guys) still recognize what we have and don't disappoint, hurt or embarrass me in the process. Don't do that, and I'll both let you enjoy others and others enjoy you, as long as you let me enjoy others and let others enjoy me.
I think it can be done. You just have to be smart about it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6S5RgLIZ…
"I would hate it if any of my family members were a dancer, prostitute, drug dealer, scam artist, divorce lawyer, etc."
There, fixed it for you.
If you recall some of my past comments on here my one and most recent ex became a dancer after I met her and broke off the relationship. When we got back together ( Both times) I convinced her to stop dancing although it became a flash point for heated discussions each time during the relationship. I suspect she is back dancing now from what little I have heard and I also suspect in her case it will further cause her harm both physically and mentally.
All dancers claim when you see articles on line or when you talk to them they are the mythical unicorn and can keep it together. Also there seems to be a book somewhere written with the standard pat answers to give when asked why they dance, etc. but in most cases I suspect it is never as great as they think it is going to be, seldom do they dance, save the money as fast as they think they are going to and get out without a few scars if they ever get out at all.
I've known a few girls who are dancers for an extended period of time. It's changed all of them and not in a good way. I'm sure the counter point would be it's too small of a sample set to draw a conclusion but from what I have observed its conclusive enough to know I wouldn't want any of my family to be a dancer.
By the same token, would not want my sons to be PLs either.
Thank goodness they're smarter and make better choices than me.
A. Over twenty-five's dead body
Some women can navigate that environment, but many more can't. I have no problem reconciling my patronizing strip clubs with not wanting anyone I care about to work in one.
Changing subjects for a moment, I recently had a conversation with a young family member, who asked me my opinion about her joining the army. I very strongly argued against it. This does not mean I do not respect, admire, and have tremendous gratitude and appreciation of those who serve. But my young family member is in a position to have lots and lots of other options, and I do not give a fuck whether that makes me a hypocrite, my loyalty is towards my family member and pushing her in the direction that I believe would make her happiest, while keeping very low risks such as dying.
Similarly, I can respect strippers and, more importantly, have appreciation for the fact that they give so much of themselves in exchange for mere money... while at the same time recognizing that the environment is incredibly toxic, and IME, all but a very strong few exit the business with some level of damage or other. Don't give a fuck whether anyone thinks I"m a hypocrite for this or not, but I'll go on enjoying strippers while following Chris Rock's prime directive, for which I believe he should have won a nobel prize.
I'd prefer her not to become a police officer, circus performer, or garbage collector too for various reasons just to name a few, but I am grateful that they perform the services that they provide.
____________________
+1
I won’t never want my daughters to strip in a club. I know what occurs in clubs, and I know how I handle myself in clubs, and I don’t want my daughters to work in those places. Again - that’s my view.
If one of my girls decided to dance, I’d support her. I’d make sure she understood everything about the clubs and the customers who frequent them.
My view is that most dancers aren’t working in clubs because they’ve trained and gotten the proper schooling - and are now prepared to make big money by dancing. I think many girls dance because they have hit hard times, and lost jobs, and they need money. Some need money quickly.
I don’t look down on dancers. I understand they are working hard - and it’s not an easy lifestyle. I respect the balls required to get on stage. But, I want more for my girls.
This is the conflict men love, men are good. Men wished females where as they imagine them.
Females set the terms for interaction, and men decide if they want to marry, date, strippers, escort or truck stop whores etc...or not to engage females.
Men love thier wives, duaghters
Thanks for that btw Dominic. She was a real champ and took it every way I gave it to her. Oh, and if by sheer coincidence she's calling you Grandpa in 9 months after giving birth to a beautiful white baby, then, as the wise man Shaggy once said, "It Wasn't Me!" I almost felt guilty only paying her $100 for everything she did, including that fantastic warm-up blowjob. However, that guilt lessened quickly when she started crying at the end and I felt the overwhelming urge to get her back to the club pronto. You'll be happy to know though that I was enough of a gentleman to actually park in the club's lot and let her out with dignity rather than rolling slowly by the building and making her jump out. ;)
All kidding aside, your underlying problem is the belief that viewing and treating others differently than your own family is an inherently bad thing. It isn't, at least not if you're doing your job as a father. I doubt that many of the girls that I fuck OTC were ever supported the same way that my kids are. I'm guessing that very few, if any, of them were straight A students in AP and gifted classes in great schools like my kids are. I also suspect that most of them were not brought up with a lot of intact family support and religious training or had access to the extracurricular activities and other resources that help my kids gain skills (and confidence) and grow as people.
Net-net I think we all know that most strippers come from challenged backgrounds and have limited avenues for potential growth. And yes, that reality is what allows me to have so much fun with much younger women. The girls that do this also endure a lot in the process, as well all know. But just because I do what I do with these girls, why in the world should I feel obligated to want the same thing for my own kids?
I really don't get the contradiction that is supposed to make me and others hypocrites for enjoying strippers while not ever wishing it on our own children. But I suppose that, in this instance, it would be hypocrisy that I could easily live with.
I helped to put the guy into San Quentin for molesting her. But he was a terror on all fronts.
You can't force anyone to live with you, even your minor child.
If a minor is dancing in a strip club, then that club can be busted. But eventually the age of consent will be reached and then there is not a damned thing you can do about it. Acting like you own people is what will make life nasty brutish and short, and it will also get you in serious trouble.
With the above guy, he had a lawyer who has devoted his career to making all child protection laws unenforceable. He had coached his client in how to invoke this paternally protective image. I played a huge role in help the Prosecution tear that to pieces.
This is why when the defendant was convicted and remanded, after notifying the three daughters, she notified me.
And don't think I'm mean or like to put people in prison. My preference would have been to have handled him myself. San Quentin is too good for him.
:) :) :)
SJG
When you get out of religion and the conservative sphere, the world does not work like that. Women are every bit the persons that men are.
Consider, you are seated at the stage getting off watching some hottie spreading her legs in front of you.
From behind you comes an angry voice, "No one's going watch my wife naked, except me."
The whole premiss has to be that women have full personhood.
SJG
Guy a table over says, "He what are you doing fooling around with my wife?"
"Which one is your wife?"
"The one I saw you giving money to."
SJG
The thing is, it's not the stripping that's the most bothersome. It's the toxic environment, day in and day out, managers, co-workers, clients, etc. It takes a certain person to not let that wear on you, and everyone responds to such experiences differently. What would lead her to be more susceptible to the negative lifestyle of it?? I'd say someone who's social life and financial life revolves around it. By that I mean if all of her friends become or are only other strippers, and her sole source of income is stripping or somehow SW related.
Now if she did it more so as a supplemental income, had an exit strategy, and an outside support group, maybe I might be open to it. But then again, maybe this is how many a strippers start out.
Minor's can't dance in strip clubs, but anyone else who wants to can. Strip clubs only exist because women have the same rights as anyone else.
SJG
SJG
My Pentecostal Daughter Molestor's Appeals case, after some years of grandstanding, died in a fizzle, last month. He is going to be a guest of the state for quite some time. :) :) :)
But his church still runs and it is full of familial child abuse of all types.
ex-Doors, Moscow 2011
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj8QX80O…
Because I am on the email notification list, I got the full 25 page decision written by the court, a comprehensive analysis of the trial case and the appeal. I am impressed with the job they did.
SJG
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Yes or No? Puerto Rico I think
https://foryou2view.files.wordpress.com/…
http://eroticpr.blogspot.com/
SJG
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https://www.democracynow.org/
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7XQGB-k…
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