Newb question about lap dance guidance

I'd say 9. It's your money: you have the right to ask her to accommodate your wishes. If she says no, move on to someone else. If she's good, she'll know what you like and do it without you having to ask or give instructions.

Front Room Makeout Session, then you invite her to the back room when it is time for your own pants to come down. Buying Dances Is a Chump's Game!

SJG

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I've never tried it. I like to just use body language to encourage the things I like and don't like. I'll also say "that feels really good" in the midst of her in a certain position in order to encourage that behavior. If she is doing something that I don't like I will block it with my own hands or shy away from it. And lastly I tip when the dance has all the things I like and I don't tip when she has some serious dance issues and does things I clearly don't like.

To me I like it best when there is a mutual and natural want from each other to please and make the other feel good through body language. That's how I like my real sex and so that's how I like my fantasy sex during a lap dance.

And when it just isn't in the cards with some dancers, I just move on. To try and script her into doing what I want isn't the fun. The fun is a mutually explored enjoyment with each other that comes naturally if there is already some good chemistry there.

Also in my experience there just are some strippers that you will never be on the same page with no matter what. And it really isn't that hard to sense what a guy likes and doesn't like by body language if she is paying attention. So I just move on from strippers that just don't get it. There are plenty that do and they don't need directions on how to make me feel good during a dance.

And LMAO @san_jose_guy the blathering idiot that hasn't made out with a stripper since the 90s. His last attempts at DFK with women were with AMP whores two years ago. He doesn't even go to strip clubs.

Strip club world is bizarro world; i.e. often a crapshoot and no guarantees of anything except a dancer doesn't really like you other than for your $$$ (at least this is true 99% of the time).

But besides this PL-PSA, for the most-part it's a win-win - just like many men don't have a club about what women want, so do many dancers don't have a clue of what custies like - like most salespeople, dancers "generally" wanna please their custies b/c this usually add$ to their bottom-line - thus her knowing what you like is often a win-win, the custy gets what he likes and the dancer can potentially reap better reward$.

There is a coarse balance of power in strip-clubs sorta speak - the dancers have the sexuality the custies desire and the custies have the $$$ the dancers desire - i.e. as a customer one's $$$ is their only leverage in getting adequate service - but often times newb custies give the dancers all the power by giving them their $$$ and allowing the dancer to do as she pleases, which results in a win/win for the dancer and a lose/lose for the custy.

The best way to get fair-value and enjoy one's SC experience is to be proactive and not be a dweeb - too many newb custies are hardwired to interact w/ women in one particular way, and this is often used against them by the dancers in the clubs - strip clubs interactions are about BUSINESS, not romance, yet many custies go in blind and get taken or get pennies on their dollar.

One is not on a date when interacting w/ a dancer in a strip-club, it's business and you can bet your balls that is how she sees it and only how she sees it no-matter how she acts or what she says (again 99% of the time) - thus since it's business for them it should be business for you and a paying customer you have a right, if not a duty, to ask for the particular service/experience you want for your $$$.

In short, one will always get a better SC experience by being proactive and going-after/asking-for what they want - many a dancer will often wanna do the least for the mo$t and many will lie, manipulate, or even intimidate, custies, in order to control them in order for her to do what she wants instead of what the custy wants while still getting his $$$ - for many a dancer their mindset is getting the most $$$ out of you while doing the least since most don't like what they do to begin with and only do it for the $$$ - everyone in a strip-club is after the custy's $$$ and their own best interest, it's usually up to the custy and only the custy to look out for his best interest - as far as I'm concerned ever custy should always be thinking in his mind when he walks into a strip-club that it's about him - too many try to please the dancers they are paying as if they were courting them and this often leads to diminishing returns.

I'll go with 8 on the spectrum.

Autism is cool in that when a stripper submits to a ritual, she likely thinks she is submitting to male leadership.

The challenge for the customer is to come to recognize her value as a person over the ritual. If you live in a free state, maybe smoke a bit of indica before clubbing. Otherwise, weaponized autism has been shown to be effective at driving change in politics so this could become possible in the future.

In other words, rather than focusing on her learning 100 points of a lap dance ritual, if she switches up steps 93 and 98, smoking weed could help to become open to that interpersonal interaction as valuing one another.

The film Buffalo '66 is a nice illustration of this.

FWIW, I don't think lapdanceking82's ritual is involved enough to rate as autistic. According to TUSCL, his is just "don't keep getting up"

#10 All day. Tell her exactly what you want if there are certain things that you like. Dancers have a prepared routine because most guys expect to be passively entertained. For instance, I prefer her to do a cowgirl and I will tell her as soon as she gets started. If she decides that she wants to show me a good time and do her routine instead, that will be the only dance that she'll get from me.

I usually do a progressive instructional thing. For the first dance, I just let her do her thing. Each girl has their typical routine so I let her give it her best shot. If I want more after one dance then I will often give her some instructions, tell her what I liked and would like more of, and if necessary what I’m not particularly fond of. A common example is that I might ask her to face me for the whole dance so I can love her breasts and not turn around for half the dance. As things progress I may get more specific in my requests. For example, if she sucked me through my pants, I’m gonna ask for more of that.

It surprises me how many strippers are incapable of cooperating with this process. Many have their standard routine and are virtually incapable of changing it. But many others are flexible and realize that they have to do what I want to keep the money flowing.

Rituals? Mocking each other because one hasn't kissed a stripper? The strip club isn't the bizzaro world, TUSCL is.

Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, Right Nipple, Left Nipple, Right Nipple, Left Nipple, Kiss, FIV

I'm on the side of "it's your money -- however you want to play it is fine". That said, I think if you choose 10, specific detailed breakdown, you'll just end up disappointed and irritated most of the time, which is exactly the opposite of why you're going to the SC and getting dances.

For me personally, what works best is somewhere around 5 or 6, positive-reinforcement-oriented guidance. "I freaking loved it last time when you rubbed your ear against my elbow!" That gets her doing more of the things that she already does, that I love. Sometimes, I make specific requests, "You know what drives me insane? if you slide your shoulder up and down my nose. I know, so sexy, right?". In summary, mostly positive reinforcement with strategic specific requests where required.

"In real life how successful have you been at telling women exactly what you want them to do in bed?"

Very? Women want men to get off. It's the whole point. If a woman is bothering to fuck you (willingly) in the first place, she's looking for you to finish.

It's ok to disagree. It's an Internet forum.

I think there's a perception that it's easier for men to get off than women. There's plenty of evidence you'll find on TUSCL to support guys blowing their wads off just about anything. All I was saying is women I've known with would find it strange if a guy didn't get off in bed.

I don't specifically say what I want, it feels too mechanical and business like. Ruins my fantasy and I like using body language, it makes it feel like she "takes the initiative" when she figures it out.

I'll reinforce good positions by being enthusiastic and gently holding her there if she tries changing positions. For positions I'm not fond of I'll gently push her off, maybe even guide her back to a previous favored position.

It doesn't take long for both of us to figure out if she's willing to dance how I want. Two songs max.

Once I find a girl that dances how I want, or she figures it out, she dances the same way the next time.

I tell strippers what I wanna do and want done to me all the time, and it is successful almost all the time. Within reason, obviously, but if I want my cock between a killer pair of tits, closed mouth don't get fed.

Acceptable... yes.

Successful... maybe.

Depends on the dancer and even her current mood. Some prefer to take very specific guidance. That way, they don't have to figure out how to keep us spending money. Others do not. Especially if what you want is outside her limits.

Other guys here prefer more spontaneity and less scripting, thereby making it more of a paid fantasy and less of a paid service.