Where to go for a One-Airport Strip-Clubbing Trip ?

avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
I write it like I mean it, but mostly they just want my money.
I'm thinking of flying into one airport somewhere in the USA, getting a package-deal for two or three nights at a nearby hotel, strictly in order to hit strip clubs. I want high-mileage clubs, by the way. I would not arrange a rental car, would want to keep the hotel-plus-flight down to a minimum. I see some decent packages for last-minute bookings on Orbitz.com, for instance, where you can get round-trip flight and two nights near a beach at a standard hotel for about $300. But I haven't been able to figure out which airport!

I wonder which airport(s) are closest and most convenient to strip-clubbing, especially to clubs that are likely to have some high-mileage options?

I had wanted to arrange to trip to Pompano Beach and Diamond Dolls, but I can't get a package to fly into the WPB airport, only MIA, and that's really too far away from the club. I'm not literally set in my mind on keeping taxi-cab (or Uber) fares to a minimum, but for purposes of answering the question, think of it that way -- the less cabbing time I have to undertake, the better.

Here are some of my guesses:

Tampa (but, high mileage? nowhere near ...)
Detroit (but, how far from the airport are the high-mileage clubs?)
Toronto (maybe?)
Houston (again, high-mileage clubs, but not near the airport?)

Your suggestions welcomed ... looking for high-mileage near high-flying LOL :)

36 comments

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avatar for Digitech
Digitech
7 years ago
I've daydreamed of doing the same.

For Houston and Miami youd want to rent a car. They are just really spread out and good clubs might be far from each other. Cnn iOS your hotel
avatar for Digitech
Digitech
7 years ago
I hate my phone sometimes.

Anyway, choose your hotel close to the club you're most interested in.

You could fly to New York and take the ferry or commuter rail to Bridgeport.
avatar for Ermita_Nights
Ermita_Nights
7 years ago
Landing Strip is so close to DTW you could almost walk. But no need, both Landing Strip and Flight Club have free airport shuttles last time I checked. Bogart's is across the street from Flight Club, and Henry VIII is walking distance but it would be a pretty unpleasant walk. Criket is up the road a couple miles. There is also Playhouse, across the street from the airport, but I haven't been there. The motels are clustered north of the airport, across I-94.
avatar for TFP
TFP
7 years ago
A rental car is so cheap. Just that rental would open up your options vastly. Even just renting the car separately you can find them for $22/day. That is dirt cheap!

This trip of yours sounds exactly like my trip to SoCal was. It wanted to hit different strip clubs every night. With the rental car, I was able to find a cheap hotel and hit the good reviewed clubs in the vicinity. I plan on doing that about 3 times next year.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
7 years ago
I think Detroit would be the winner with the number of high millage clubs clustered together. Don't know what rental car prices are in the area though.

I can't recommend Phoenix as rental cars are hella expensive here. There are a couple high millage locations, but not as many as Detroit. Plenty of hotels though.
avatar for BurlingtonHoFactory
BurlingtonHoFactory
7 years ago
So the strip clubs in Detroit actually have airport shuttles... and we're still debating where he should go? I think I'm gonna go to Detroit myself when the weather gets warm. It sounds like titty bars have basically replaced the auto business as the number one hometown industry in the Motor City.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
7 years ago
I would also recommend Detroit. There are a lot of chain hotels by the airport which are inexpensive. If you don't want to rent a car you can Uber to the clubs. A lot of high mileage clubs are nearby. Playhouse and Landing Strip are very close. Flight Club, Bogart's and Henry VIII are clustered together about 5 miles from the airport. BT's and Criket are a little further down Michigan Avenue. That's enough clubs to keep you busy.
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
Enterprise has $9.99/day weekend rentals but one has to rent it Fr - Mo and there is a 300-mile limit (additional miles are 20-cents/mile), and airport locations or very near the airport don't have the special
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
Off airport locations often have cheaper rentals
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
7 years ago
You can use Hotels.com and put an exact address that is near the club(s) you wanna hit and the results will list the distance to that address, and there is a filter to only list hotels with airport shuttles - i.e. you can try to find a hotel with an airport shuttle that is located near the club(s) you wanna hit
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
It's not for me but you may want to consider San Diego and take the cheap trolley to the border. Weather in TJ will probably be better than Detroit in the winter.
avatar for goldmongerATL
goldmongerATL
7 years ago
The extras clubs in Toronto are all right at the airport.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
7 years ago
Flying into Detroit is a good choice. As Ermita_Nights notes there are several clubs fairly close to the airport with free shuttles to a few of them. $125 will get you a car for 4 days on Orbitz.
avatar for vincemichaels
vincemichaels
7 years ago
$102 for 4 days on AutoRentals.com.
avatar for Nius
Nius
7 years ago
For Diamond Dolls at Pampano Beach the closest airport is Fort Lauderdale International (FLL).

Was in the area recently scheduled the flight so i could hit the club for a couple hrs before. Took a 21 mins drive to get to the airport. Plus there are a few clubs within a 5miles radius from Diamond Dolls too.
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 years ago
Fly into Providence; take the bus from the airport to your hotel and t hen you can cab or uber to all of the major clubs in less than 5 minutes.
avatar for lotsoffun201
lotsoffun201
7 years ago
I’d have to agree with Detroit. You could stay in Livonia and be within 5 miles of Landing Strip, Bogarts, H8, and the Flight Club. Heading down Michigan Avenue “maybe” 10 minutes you would be at Criket and BT’s

Seems like the logical choice to me.
avatar for Clubber
Clubber
7 years ago
If investing in a trip, seems to me a flight to say Costa Rica would be better that anywhere in the states.
avatar for Cashman1234
Cashman1234
7 years ago
I’d recommend staying away from NYC. It’s too expensive to get any good dirty action in the city. The nice sleazy spots require driving in NJ - and some areas can be a bit rough after dark.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
7 years ago
I vote for either Miami or Ft Lauderdale. The clubs are great, and so is the weather. I think you're wrong to look for a city where the clubs are near the airport. Uber is cheap, often half the price of a taxi, so the cost of travel is no longer the factor that it used to be.

SAN Diego is also not a bad choice if you are willing to make the border crossing to have fun.

While Detroit has good strip clubs, there is nothing there to do while the little head is resting up for the next visit. And it's cold as fuck.
avatar for ArtCollege
ArtCollege
7 years ago
Another possibility: many airports are served by rail, which is a cheap way to get to or close to a hotel. Even if no rail, the trip to and from airport is just one trip each way. So I would pick a city; look at clubs on the map and pick a location you'd like to stay in. Then go to google maps and find hotels near that location; if on a tight budget, look at whether hotel has an airport shuttle, or public transportation option. Once in your hotel, Uber around. One nice thing about Uber is no worries about drinking/driving.

Oh, and airbnb might get you real close to where you want to be.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
I had noticed that some of the much loved and UHM clubs, usually East of the Mississippi, are near small regional commercial and general aviation airports, and with motels and extended stays within stripper shoe walking distance.

SJG

http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/k…
avatar for mark94
mark94
7 years ago
It’s great living in Phoenix, and a great place to visit in the winter, but I wouldn’t recommend coming here just for a strip club experience. Personally, Tijuana, Frankfurt, and Bangkok are strip club destinations. I don’t think any US cities are destination locations.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
Mark94 is making an excellent point. And this is also why I've never been attracted to sex tourism. Better your home place or places you will be visiting regularly, like for business.

Long way from this yet, but someday this is how it will be for me.
https://www.tuscl.net/?page=post&id=3888…

Warning though, even if a strip club or motel is adjacent to an airport, airports are huge and have limited entry and exit points. So look close that map and satellite views.

I imagine that a folding bicycle would be good for taking on light aircraft.

Tijuana's Zona is set up to be very airport accessible.

SJG

And here now, a Lifeboat Forum, in case there are ever any temporary TUSCL outages. Go ahead and register now. At least keep the URL some place safe.

But warning, if there are troll posts, I can't be spending time dealing with that, so that member will be subjected to moderation if not a complete post prohibition. It is mostly for if there are any problems with TUSCL, to keep the community together. But people do have to limit their talk to the rules of the host, much different than the rules of TUSCL.

http://testosteronelifeboat.freeforums.n…

Art of the Pimp, by Dennis Hof
https://www.amazon.com/Art-Pimp-Search-D…

I don't think much of Hof, and you know his title is a play on DJT's book.

Nevertheless, I would probably enjoy reading this, just to try and understand him and where he is coming from. One thing Hof has said is that he "only dates prostitutes". That I have definitely come to understand.

Led Zeppelin, full concert, I believe Earl's Court. Awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NfwZfGAK…
part 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ba-LngVj…

Do you like the blues influenced Led Zeppelin with its strong bass, or do you go with the progressive rock which though seemingly blues derived has lost the strong bass? I go with the former. No reason to give up the strong bottom end.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
> While Detroit has good strip clubs, there is nothing there to do while the little head is resting up for the next visit.

One could always make few new accounts and troll TUSCL. I, for one, am waiting for a new moral panic to clutch my pearls about because some dude was bored in Detroit. Just please this time don't make it be stolen valor. It troubles me so much that anyone would so much as think of doing that.
avatar for Hugh_G_Rection
Hugh_G_Rection
7 years ago
That's right ppwh, Troll the ancient Yuletide Carol....
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
7 years ago
I did a 12-hour trip to Detroit once. $300 flight, $60 hotel, $50 rental car, probably $800 or so club outflow. Hit up Flight Club and Penthouse over four hours. Flight Club was dead, Penthouse was amazing. Took three fields upstairs
avatar for AnonymousJim
AnonymousJim
7 years ago
Aargh, hit 'Post' by mistake.

Took three girls upstairs. Two provided desired services to completion. One of the best nights of my life.
avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
7 years ago
Wow thanks for the advice, all!

Seems Detroit is scoring big so far. Might do it. :)

One reason I didn't want to try to work in the cost of a rental car was, essentially, I'd rather not drink-and-drive, especially not in a place I'm not familiar with. I could Uber, but in the styxx-like areas where strip-clubs often exist, my guess is, sometimes getting an Uber ride would be difficult / a small hassle? I just wanted to think in terms of one two or three clubs, VERY little ground travel, hit one, stick to it for a while, do one or two sessions, hit another, stick to it for a while too.

As far as having something interesting to do in between club visits? I don't give a hoot. I intend to just get some McDonald's and watch the TV in the hotel room (or in the strip club? LOL). This isn't about entertainment OUTside of what you can find at a club.

As for Costa Rica, would LOVE to go, but, too expensive. And I'm really not keen on international travel right now, seems another type of hassle. Would rather test some of the untried waters in the US of A instead, haven't been everywhere here yet.

As far as going to Diamond Dolls in Pompano Beach, as I said, I couldn't get a package that was cheap enough but that also included a flight to the proper Miami-area airport. I'd put "Florida Palm Beach" or "PBI" and the booking system would find all sorts of stuff for me, but when it came time to finally hit "go" and click-it to pay, the flight would turn out to be traveling to MIA; therefore I no longer wanted it. It was annoying. Spirit Air from Tampa to PBI used to be a favored hop, cheap quick and about four times daily RT. Whatever happened with that?

Anyone else want to chime in? It's fun to fantasize, even if the trip doesn't turn out to be ideal, isn't it?
avatar for PrimetimeSchein
PrimetimeSchein
7 years ago
@BookGuy if you do decide to come to Detroit DM me. I can provide you with a ton of shit to do when you're not clubbing. Contrary to what people think there's ALOT to do around here
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
7 years ago
I'd say Toronto, but I live close enough to Pompano/Miami where those are kinda my home clubs. You can get a cheap hotel in Toronto, especially now, and flights aren't too bad from here. I find the girls in Toronto, even at the scuzzy Airport clubs, to be on average a good bit better than the ones in Pompano/Miami area. There is also a lot less ROB factor. Those are some of the few clubs I still hit when traveling. I forgo most other area's clubs and just wait to hit them up when I get back home, unless I'm in a town for long enough to get really bored.

Like others said, FLL is where you'd want to fly in to hit Pompano. But realistically you'll spend maybe an extra $40 (20 each way) on Uber from MIA to a Pompano hotel near the clubs, skip a dance and nurse a drink you've made up for it. In other words, coming into MIA shouldn't be a deal breaker if that's where you want to go. You don't want to get a hotel near MIA, but for the flight its shouldn't matter much.

avatar for Book Guy
Book Guy
7 years ago
I found the Uber prices from MIA airport to Diamond Dolls Pompano to be about $80 one-way, IIRC. Did I remember wrong?
avatar for Dolfan
Dolfan
7 years ago
Depends on time of day, but you're probably not that far off. The point was that if MIA to DD is 80, FLL to is probably 60; hence the "extra" qualifier. PBI to DD is probably around 65ish too.

Again, the point is the distance/uber cost isn't a significant variable. If you're willing to do it and pay to go from FLL, the extra couple bucks to drive up from MIA shouldn't be a deal breaker, at least if time isn't a priority. Since you're talking about traveling for the explicit purpose of hitting a SC, I figured it wasn't.

avatar for stanlee
stanlee
7 years ago
Based on personal experience get a room at the embassy suites DTW and hit Flight Club, Cricket and Bogarts. You're bound to run into something you like.
avatar for stanlee
stanlee
7 years ago
To ppwhs point you could always hit the casino at MGM or Motor City while the little guy recharges. It's a what $25 uber? Dtw is the Mecca for me. Given I haven't been to Toronto
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
7 years ago
Go some place where there is no need to have a car.

SJG
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