I know with most escorts, it is non-negotiable. They will not do anything until they have their money (donation) upfront. But with the flaky nature of OTC dates, assuming the girl even shows up, do you pay the full agreed amount before she starts? For the ones that don't how has that worked out?
That's why you OTC with dancers. They're not escorts and the rules are different. I never pre-pay, hell we rarely even talk about money, but I always make sure when we're done to put the packet of twenties next to her purse. It's worked for 25+ of OTC years without issue.
Whores will be whores and you really can't trust them with money upfront. Maybe they'll disappear before sex happens or flake out on that BJ she promised? Likewise some PLs may perform the sex act and skirt out without paying. What can be done?
As a solution I had my lawyer draw up an escrow account. I put money into escrow and the money is dispersed in a timely fashion after both sides have satisfied their legal obligations.
Like others have said strippers are different than escorts in many ways. One of those is at least some degree of trust, as usually we know one another and have done itc dates prior to going otc. I don't think I've ever prepaid for an otc date.
It's never been that formal for me, I've never made explicit arrangements to do x for y. It's a girl I've spent some time with ITC and I've asked if she wants to come over to the house some time & she agrees. I've never been asked for money upfront. Most often, I'm picking them up and dropping them off so I just give them some money on the ride home. If its a girl who drives, at some point I'll just give her some cash. I'm sure I've paid some of them before we did anything, but it was more a convenience/courtesy thing because I don't know when they'll want to leave and I don't want them to be lingering around afterwords waiting to get paid.
When I was young, around 25 or so I had my first OTC. At the time I did not know that possibility existed. Dancer suggested we meet after her shift. She gave me a price and asked for 1/2 up front. Being stupid and inexperienced I gave it to her. Got lucky she showed, it was awesome. I have learned a lot since then. Have have never paid up front since. I do show her the money and place it in sight once we are in the hotel.
The first time I ever tried OTC, the girl asked for $50 in advance as she had to tip out. I was naive and gave it. She never showed up.
I saw her about 2 months later and she apologized saying the club would not let her leave. Not sure I believed that but we made arrangements and she showed up the second time and the whole night went well until she began crying and told me her horrible life story.
No, I do not. A couple of them have wanted to *see* the money, and I don't have a problem with that, but as JS69 points out, by the time we've decided to go OTC, a certain level of trust and comfort has developed, so the vast majority of them have made no such request.
Hell, even most of the few escorts I've seen have been ok with post pay.
-->"As a solution I had my lawyer draw up an escrow account. I put money into escrow and the money is dispersed in a timely fashion after both sides have satisfied their legal obligations."
The good news is, blockchain (plus a little IoT smarts) will soon make this an effortless, lawyerless, escrowless process that still immutably executes the payment once conditions are satisfied (or doesn't, if they are not). Hurray!
I've had a continuing relationship with a hot MILF from a club in ATX. After numerous ITC and OTC sessions she started telling me about her desperate financial state. One evening she backed out on a planned OTC meeting but asked if I'd pay anyway, she would make good later. Another time it was a complete surprise: I can't do OTC tonight, watching the kid, but can you bring me $200 so I can pay my rent tomorrow? And now the topper: Rather than negotiate a repayment/forgiveness plan now the bitch has cut off all communication. Well, I now have no expectation of seeing the promised activity or outstanding loan amounts. I'm writing to join the chorus of PLs that strongly advise against giving any $$ to strippers except for services already rendered. ....fool me twice, shame on ME.....
I don’t pay upfront. If a girl is uncomfortable - I’ll show her the cash - but that’s as far as I’ll go.
I otc with dancers - and they know I have cash - so it’s not an issue. After the first otc - they know enough to not be concerned. If a girl gets sketchy - and wigs out over cash and payment - it’s sometimes a red flag - as they are thinking about skipping out and not delivering.
RTP's post jogged my memory. On my very first OTC at the Memphis Platinum Plus I did give her the money to pay her tip out. I think it was $35 of the agreed upon $150. Fortunately she showed up right on time with her hair still wet from a shower.
Knowing what I know now, I doubt that I would do that again but never say never. :)
man i was sooo stupid and trusting when i first started with the girls after i seperated from my ex wife. i paid this one girl upfront and then she never showed. what's even worse is that i did it twice.
"... @Papi - How do you get away with not prepaying ITC? Some of the floor hosts/bouncers demand payment in full ahead of time ..."
The clubs I go-to have a VIP room-fee that is paid to the club/staff-person, usually ranging b/w $50 and $100 - that has to be paid to the club up-front and that fee is just for the room and goes to the club (so I do pay that upfront to the club b/c I don't have a choice) - what I don't pay upfront is the payment to the dancer which is just b/w me and the dancer and has nothing to do w/ the club.
^ I would still hate to be out even that amount of money (and it's more at the clubs i go to) if the girl turned out to a poor choice or worse a ROB. Or if she did just enough that you couldn't realistically not pay her. As well as the palm up bouncer asking for a tip beforehand...
But i do see how that gives you more leverage and the girl/ROB knows she doesn't quite have the bird in her hand, NPI, yet. Although the amount your out is still leverage for her.
^ that's why Detroit clubs like Penthouse and Flight Club are nice, the dance booths are private with a sofa and a curtain so no need to pay a VIP room fee - one still has to tip the bouncer so he won't look in "to see if everything is alright"
-->"Another time it was a complete surprise: I can't do OTC tonight, watching the kid, but can you bring me $200 so I can pay my rent tomorrow? And now the topper: Rather than negotiate a repayment/forgiveness plan now the bitch has cut off all communication. "
Yeah, I think the general rules are:
- Once you give a stripper money, it's hers, it's not a loan, it's not an advance.
- Many strippers get overwhelmed with problems and embarrassing situations easily, and handle it in passive-aggressive and/or child-like ways, like simply cutting off communication. Don't expect anything more.
So, OTC, obviously enough, the rule is to pay afterwards.
Of course, part of being a wise man is knowing when rules should be broken -- and nearly all rules in life should be broken. I've had a couple of strippers where I was happy to venmo them an advance if they requested, and knew they'd always come through; likewise, both girls sometimes accepted "venmo me whenever" type payment after the action, they knew I was good for it if I didn't have cash. Of course, even with a high level of justified trust, I never floated them more than a few hundred dollars ... or, IOW, not more than I was willing to lose
Dirk, as others have said, dancers are not escorts (though the line can blur with some) and the rules are different.
I never pre-pay OTC services and it has never been a deal breaker for the girl. Some will ask to see the money and I've had a few even ask for it to be placed in a neutral spot, but most just accept it and I've never had a girl walk.
ITC can be a little more dicey. I never pre-pay those either, though I've shown the money more often in these situations. I've also had a handful of times where I've done the 1/2 before, 1/2 after thing when it looked like a potential deal breaker and I had good vibes from the girl.
But try as we all might, nothing is without the risk of loss. My instincts are as good as anyone's when it comes to seeking out willing girls and avoiding problem ones, but when dealing with strippers nothing is 100% foolproof. I'd venture to say that anyone who does this stuff routinely with strippers has eaten the occasional room fee or hotel charge with nothing to show for it. If you cannot cope with that possibility, then you'd be better off chasing tail elsewhere.
This is especially true with ITC services, where an emotional man with a hard on can easily get sucked into throwing more good money after bad. The second a girl absolutely insists on payment upfront or starts other games, I stand up and walk out because, with a fair amount of experience to draw upon, I realize that it is only going to get worse from there. The room fee is just a soured investment at that point. But guys without that experience and/or who are too emotional about the cash already spent are often tempted to try to salvage the investment by throwing more money at her, usually with poor results at high cost. IMHO learning to walk away is both one of the hardest lessons to learn when doing this and one of the most important.
Anyway, good luck good sir as you work through all of this.
To add to my embarrassment, I've recently been burned ITC at the same Austin club, this time by a cute, thin Latina. I asked her up front what she charges for VIP and she responds $100. This is better than the typical 150-200 in this club. So I'm happy and away we go. Except she stops in 15 minutes and asks "Do you want any more?" I say of course I want more. My half-hour isn't done. She responds "But that was 5 songs!" Another lesson for me! Beside settling on a number, be sure you agree on what that number buys!
I can see a dancer "perhaps" needing a certain amount for her tip-out or to leave the club b/f her shit is over - I still would not pay-it under most circumstances but I'm sure there would be a time where my dick would insist it's a good idea and that she's trustworthy - but other than that I can't think of a good reason why she needs $$$ upfront to meet you later unless it's to ROB your ass
My best times with escorts (practically strangers to me when we've met) took their money at the end of our session. The worst escorts demanded money up front and then attempted to leave. Even if you know and trust the girl, you should pay at the end.
They have more to gain from the transaction, so they should be the ones taking more of the risk.
Prepaying strippers falls under the same modus operandi as loaning money to family members. Only loan as much as you are comfortable with never seeing again. That's what prepaying is, a loan.
One time I was in VIP and had told her upfront I did not pay upfront - she agreed but halfway thru the VIP she asked me to at least put some $$$ on the table - she was on top of me FCG w/ my dick in her so I thought it was a fair-request and obliged (I put part of the $$$ on the table) - but even then I prefer to pay all of it at the end and don't even like to put the $$$ on a "neutral site" (e.g. table) b/c some of these crazy bitches will just snatch the $$$ and run.
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As a solution I had my lawyer draw up an escrow account. I put money into escrow and the money is dispersed in a timely fashion after both sides have satisfied their legal obligations.
It's a little formal, but we'll worth the effort.
@Papi
How do you get away with not prepaying ITC? Some of the floor hosts/bouncers demand payment in full ahead of time.
I saw her about 2 months later and she apologized saying the club would not let her leave. Not sure I believed that but we made arrangements and she showed up the second time and the whole night went well until she began crying and told me her horrible life story.
Hell, even most of the few escorts I've seen have been ok with post pay.
The good news is, blockchain (plus a little IoT smarts) will soon make this an effortless, lawyerless, escrowless process that still immutably executes the payment once conditions are satisfied (or doesn't, if they are not). Hurray!
I otc with dancers - and they know I have cash - so it’s not an issue. After the first otc - they know enough to not be concerned. If a girl gets sketchy - and wigs out over cash and payment - it’s sometimes a red flag - as they are thinking about skipping out and not delivering.
Knowing what I know now, I doubt that I would do that again but never say never. :)
The clubs I go-to have a VIP room-fee that is paid to the club/staff-person, usually ranging b/w $50 and $100 - that has to be paid to the club up-front and that fee is just for the room and goes to the club (so I do pay that upfront to the club b/c I don't have a choice) - what I don't pay upfront is the payment to the dancer which is just b/w me and the dancer and has nothing to do w/ the club.
But i do see how that gives you more leverage and the girl/ROB knows she doesn't quite have the bird in her hand, NPI, yet. Although the amount your out is still leverage for her.
Yeah, I think the general rules are:
- Once you give a stripper money, it's hers, it's not a loan, it's not an advance.
- Many strippers get overwhelmed with problems and embarrassing situations easily, and handle it in passive-aggressive and/or child-like ways, like simply cutting off communication. Don't expect anything more.
So, OTC, obviously enough, the rule is to pay afterwards.
Of course, part of being a wise man is knowing when rules should be broken -- and nearly all rules in life should be broken. I've had a couple of strippers where I was happy to venmo them an advance if they requested, and knew they'd always come through; likewise, both girls sometimes accepted "venmo me whenever" type payment after the action, they knew I was good for it if I didn't have cash. Of course, even with a high level of justified trust, I never floated them more than a few hundred dollars ... or, IOW, not more than I was willing to lose
I never pre-pay OTC services and it has never been a deal breaker for the girl. Some will ask to see the money and I've had a few even ask for it to be placed in a neutral spot, but most just accept it and I've never had a girl walk.
ITC can be a little more dicey. I never pre-pay those either, though I've shown the money more often in these situations. I've also had a handful of times where I've done the 1/2 before, 1/2 after thing when it looked like a potential deal breaker and I had good vibes from the girl.
But try as we all might, nothing is without the risk of loss. My instincts are as good as anyone's when it comes to seeking out willing girls and avoiding problem ones, but when dealing with strippers nothing is 100% foolproof. I'd venture to say that anyone who does this stuff routinely with strippers has eaten the occasional room fee or hotel charge with nothing to show for it. If you cannot cope with that possibility, then you'd be better off chasing tail elsewhere.
This is especially true with ITC services, where an emotional man with a hard on can easily get sucked into throwing more good money after bad. The second a girl absolutely insists on payment upfront or starts other games, I stand up and walk out because, with a fair amount of experience to draw upon, I realize that it is only going to get worse from there. The room fee is just a soured investment at that point. But guys without that experience and/or who are too emotional about the cash already spent are often tempted to try to salvage the investment by throwing more money at her, usually with poor results at high cost. IMHO learning to walk away is both one of the hardest lessons to learn when doing this and one of the most important.
Anyway, good luck good sir as you work through all of this.
They have more to gain from the transaction, so they should be the ones taking more of the risk.
Anyone try that?
SJG
The difference between Random Members stupid comment and SJG stupid comment is Random Member intended it to be stupid.