Kind of feel bad for the girl

You refuse to enable her addiction to her dead beat boyfriend. I think it's kinda honorable. It ultimately your experience, and if imaging that dick head is going to keep beating her on your dime, is ruining it, then it is what it is.

Your money in VIP would be supporting the creep, just like spending money on a junkie stripper supports a drug pusher. It's fair to follow your conscience on this one. There are other strippers glad to take your money that either have no BF or at least one that isn't abusive.

I think it's fair to stop getting dances from her. Even on StripperWeb, the domestic violence hustle is controversial. When a stripper used it on me, I stopped getting dances from her too, but not before going through some shit of trying to help her. Once she realized that it wasn't leading things in the direction she wanted, she said the domestic violence she was talking about was 2-3 boyfriends ago.

Good for you. Either way it's the right move. If your money is going to him, you shouldn't get dances with her. If it's a hustle, you shouldn't get dances with her.

Q. How can a stripper avoid become a victim of domestic violence? A. Learn to fucking listen!

Well, if she's telling the truth, then I wouldn't want to invest my money in that relationship.

If it's a hustle, then I'd still not give her any of my money because that type of hustle is fucking vile.

I'd believe her this time regarding her domestic situation. She either got pissed and left you because she's mad that you are trying to influence her personal life (even if it is for good reasons) - or she's pissed that her domestic violence story backfired.

I hope she comes around and dumps her boyfriend - as he sounds like a total loser.

Is he the father of her kid? If so - that could make it more difficult.

It can be very hard to cut entanglements if the guy helps pay the utilities, or of they have shared ownership of a vehicle, etc. I just think about other lousy relationships I have seen where a women says for long periods of time she wants out. Sometimes the situation had to hit rock bottom where she flees to a relative with a backpack of clothes in order to take "starting over" seriously.

You shouldn't feel bad about breaking it off, no matter the reason. The fact that she knows you ended it is because her boyfriend beats her was probably very upsetting. If it was a more usual reason such as you wanting variety, or just having another fav, or just an unknown reason I doubt she'd be so upset.

I had an arrangement going with a stripper about 18 months ago and she told me a chilling story about how her BF knocked her out cold and put her in the emergency room. So depressing and I just don't know how to handle that type of situation. It's best left to mental health experts. Arrangement did not last very long and just another reason why I started looking for girls online who are from stable homes.

Why do girls get involved with abusive guys? One possibility is that if their father was abusive, they may assume that all men are abusive and look for that. It's called "transference" and @DrPhil can explain it to you.

Sounds like your being a white knight. It will continue as long as long as she's with him and she will always make money from other pls. That said I would find another atf too. Dropping her won't change anything, that's up to her but we dont have to support them.

Cashman - I believe he is the father but I'm not sure.

Thanks for all the positive comments guys. I wasn't trying to be heroic or shit like that but nobody deserved to get their ass kick let alone pushed thru a table.

I don't think it was SS because the boyfriend has been a certified bum the whole time I've known her. Never had a job and wouldn't watch their kid while she worked. This is the first time I've heard of the DV thing so maybe she tried leaving him IDK.

@Big Tezzy I'm sure the boyfriend is all that you described and worse but you need to realize that's her choice, playing Cap'n Save A Ho never works out well.

Really! ^^^

Why get emotional over something that you didn't choose?

I think it has a lot more to do w his father/ step father being abusive. I imagine that it puts a teen boy in a terribly frustrating situation to see the man in his life hurting his mother. You'd think that would make them not want to do it, but I think it gives them control issues instead, so that they lose it when they feel powerless, like they did back then. Also, domestic abuse seems to be common among any profession, or economic level, when drugs, alcoholic, and stress are involved. I've met many older guys who've admitted to being jerks when they drank, when they were younger, and quit bc of it, or at least quit the hard stuff. Also, strippers aren't the sorts to just meekly let a guy holler at them. One reason girls dance is bc they don't have to offer traditional friendly service w ass hole customers, like a waitress does, so they aren't used to being diplomatic in stressful situations.

^ I understand your point that the abusee may be one who refuses to calm the situation or may even purposefully escalate it, but there is still never a justification for a man to strike a woman.

It's not justification. Just a contributor. I think strippers might be less likely to calm things down than their non-stripper counterparts, and are more likely to be on alcohol and drugs themselves, so their partner is as well.

"Now I'm fuckin heated at this point. Regardless of SS whenever a pussy ass bitch puts their hands on a woman I get pissed."

That's fair, but it's your issue not hers. If you're not her friend or her family, that's got nothing to do with you.

"So my fellow brothers in arms, was I wrong? Should I kept the arrangement going or what?"

No. But not because you did something particularly noteworthy or honorable. If the situation isn't working for you, as a customer you walk away. It's that simple.

"Have you ever broke it off with an ATF for similar reasons. Looking for all opinions and takes"

Sort of. My ATF (there's only ever one)? No. For another example it was mainly because the other guy in the picture was having a tough time dealing with the situation and I didn't need the drama. I was being uncharacteristically sloppy about the whole deal, so it was easier just to end things once she tipped that feelings were involved.

I 100% agree with your sentiment Tezzy but I think you are not going to have an effect on her. That POS boyfriend on the surface seems like a scumbag and she should dump him.

Apologies in advance to our contributing stripper members of the board. But the reality in my experience is that majority of the girls in the he strip club have major vices they are feeding and/or domestic/emotional problems. Things that I have heard I just cant believe they are doing.To be clear I said the majority but certainly not all.

The more you delve into their personal lives of your fantasy girl its likely you will be shocked at her choices and long standing problems. Not to sound too cynical but it normally doesnt matter what I have offered to suggest to them or offer help with unless it involves $$$.

The fantasy of the club is just that and its best to keep it that way unless you want to exclusively end up with the few ones that have their shit together. But please refer to the crazy-hot index if you think you will be left with best looking club girls.

I hope the dancer can pull herself together, and find the strength to get out of her abusive relationship. She owes it to her kid - to allow her kid to have a decent childhood.

I'm not sure if your involvement will help the situation - but you made a point and I hope she understands that you were trying to help.

Like I said I wasn't trying to save her or no shit like that. But I'm like I'm not gonna give you money to turn around and give it to the asshole who's beating your ass whenever he feels like it. If she was just fuckin a bum I could care less. But a dude who's kicking her ass no matter how attractive she is 8/10 imo had to cut her loose

I guess I'm numb to it all. Some bitch tells me that her boyfriend beats her, I kill it because she is giving me a depressing story and that's not why I go to the f****** club.

I'll tell her once "you you can always leave him but if you don't leave him it's your problem and I don't want to hear about it."

But I've seen girl after girl stay with guys and want to cry the other people because girls love to feel like the victim. And everybody else in the world needs to feel sorry for them except for the son-of-a-b**** who's actually doing all the damage.
Drama.. It really is these young girl's f****** drug of choice.