What would you do?

avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
Arizona
One of my active favorites has gone silent on me. Not responding to texts for the past four days. This, after pretty consistent messaging and OTC activity. I can recall no hint of why she would ghost like this. She did not mention travel or seem despondent etc... Enjoyed talking about future meet ups. Things were going great now <crickets>. Of course I know this may mean nothing in the p4p world but its all I've got.

Here's the deal, I know where she works in the civie world and her hours. I'm tempted just to pop in and see what's up. Probably a bad idea I know. I'm leaning strongly against it but it is tempting. What would you do if your ATF, or close to it, ghosted in a similar fashion but you new where to reach her in person?

Truth be told though...I wouldn't want her coming to look for me in person if reversed.



41 comments

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avatar for PrimetimeSchein
PrimetimeSchein
7 years ago
So if she's already ignoring you for whatever reason.. do you think randomly popping up at her place of employment is a good strategy. Are you going to sit in your car for hours until she comes out then run after her or are you going to go in her workplace and ask for her to come down to the lobby....
I hope you see how creepy this is my friend
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
7 years ago
When the DS did that to me it turned out that she was freaking out over being pregnant. I ended up going to the club where she works and found out the truth by talking to her there. I knew her civilian job but even though I was in love with her there's no way I would ever show up there. You should not either. Absolutely nothing positive could come out of it.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
Further details:

She's not a stripper. I cannot go see her in the club. She's a waitress in a civvie restaurant. Her phone was jacked up big time so I'm thinking it may have given up the ghost.

But yea, too creepy and won't do it. I'm just worried about her and curious.
avatar for 3LeggedMan
3LeggedMan
7 years ago
My experience says maintain radio silence. When she needs you, you'll surely hear from her.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
if you have a legitimate reason to visit... do it.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
and I wouldn't mind in the least her seeking me out. in purpose or 'accidentally.'
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
No. Don't be a stalker, or anything vaguely like it. I understand your curiosity, but if she has decided to cut off comms without warning then so be it.

Don't be creepy. Nobody likes creepy.
avatar for Uprightcitizen
Uprightcitizen
7 years ago
Entering her civilian world is a big rule breaker if it is unsolicited. Imagine if you cut her off, would you like her to show up at your work?

Two different regulat CF's disappeared on me and I just let it go. One came back almost 8 months later and a bf who had her cut off from her job and clients. Once that was failing she came back. The other one for 6 months, came back, then disappeared again for over a year now. I suspect bf or she caught a bigger fish.

Your concern is admirable but you may ruin any future opportunity if she sees you as a stalker.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
Okay, so the consensus so far is that I should camp out in front her job until she arrives and loudly declare my love for her in front of her co-workers and management. I thought that would the case.
avatar for shailynn
shailynn
7 years ago
I'd send her flowers at her place of employment if I were you.

Kidding.

So she's not a stripper but a waitress - did you meet her in the restaurant originally? If so then maybe it wouldn't be so weird if you showed up. Now if you didn't meet her there then that could be totally creepy to her.
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
I did not meet her in the civvie world, no. I will forgo letting my inner creepers out and just let it play out without scaring the shit out of her. Thanks for the grounding folks.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
Personal opinion... still creepy even if you met her there.
avatar for Call.Me.Ishmael
Call.Me.Ishmael
7 years ago
"... I should camp out in front her job until she arrives and loudly declare my love for her in front of her co-workers and management."

If you own and use a Go-Pro camera, then yes. That is exactly what you should do.
avatar for houjack
houjack
7 years ago
Usually they wait for a dick pic before responding to texts. I'd try that first.

A dick pic is a flawless move.

If that doesn't work (highly unlikely, all girls love dick pics) then follow your first instinct and camp outside her workplace for a week. Do not talk to her until she's seen you there for a full week waiting and watching her. Your proclamation of undying love for her will be more genuine that way.
avatar for Huntsman
Huntsman
7 years ago
You can't make a woman love you, like you, fuck you or anything else. I don't care if she is a civvie, a stripper or an escort. And you don't even automatically get what you want even if it's p4p. Go play golf, fish, watch a baseball game, jerk off or do something other than try to get her attention. She is either done with you or she will break her radio silence at her choosing. Any effort you make to get her attention won't work and will likely end poorly.
avatar for twentyfive
twentyfive
7 years ago
doing nothing is the gold standard on this one.
avatar for best101
best101
7 years ago
Definitive do nothing.
avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
7 years ago
Having been through this recently with a stripper, I guarantee it will play out like this: Just do nothing. She will text you 3 weeks later when you absolutely least expect it and claim that she lost her phone. Then she'll demand an immediately OTC date so that she can pay tuition bill or rent.
avatar for RandomMember
RandomMember
7 years ago
*immediate
avatar for skibum609
skibum609
7 years ago
I would agree with Random's take on it. Find someone new.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
7 years ago
I disagree with doing nothing. You should go to your favorite strip club.
avatar for Lurker_X
Lurker_X
7 years ago
I had a similar experience recently with a girl who is not a stripper but otherwise ticks off all the stereotypes.. Abusive family, revoked drivers license, in rehab for opiate abuse. She was texting and calling me, being complimentary to me. Then "poof" gone. Maybe her phone crapped out and she never memorized my number. You just have to accept that women without good organizational skills can do this.
avatar for WetWilly
WetWilly
7 years ago
Gone silent can mean she has a new boyfriend. Any chance something has changed?
avatar for Htxx
Htxx
7 years ago
Going through a similar situation. I'm resisting the urge to make contact. Best to let it go, she'll reach out $oon enough
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
7 years ago
Years ago, I had a fave who I know over the course of about 12 years (!!!). She'd occasionally quit stripping and take a civilian job, but we'd still do OTCs during her legit periods to help her make ends meet. Anyway, she was -- and I say this with love in my heart -- a bit of a fartbrain, and she was constantly breaking or losing her phone, and as with most strippers, each time she gets a new one, she 1. gets a new phone number, 2. no longer has access to her contacts, which were on her old lost or broken phone. I would have lost touch with her completely a couple of times over those 12 years, if I hadn't also been on her facebook, and could direct message her if she went radio silent for a while.

No such problem with my current and all time ATF (ha ha!), I am on her instagram and snapchat, I have two of her working email addresses, I'm on the snapchat and instagrams of several of her friends, and am on the social media of her mother (who is a decade younger than me).

In any case, moral of the story: the girls will lose their phone or change their phone number and lose their contacts, but will never lose access to their social media. If you dig her, best to get on it. If she unfriends you, you know she's cutting ties rather than just a lost phone or personal crisis
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
So true. Be interesting to know the % of honeys that have cracked screen cell phones versus the rest of the population.

I've often been asked by favorites to give them my phone number yet again because the lost or destroyed their phone. They seem incapable of backing their contacts up in the cloud. Baffling given the monetary value of a phone full of PL contacts.

And that's exactly why I almost became a total creeper and was tempted to make contact with this very fine honey in the civvie world.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
7 years ago
Ya, that's what I would have been thinking, too: did I get cut off, or did she change her number and lose all her contact info and would love for me to contact her? Unfortunately, I go with my forum comrades above: don't intrude on her. And next time, get on the girl's snapchat
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
7 years ago
As a side benefit to being on snapchat so that you can reach her when she's lost all her contacts, I find snapchat to be a superior dick pic delivery platform.
avatar for Jascoi
Jascoi
7 years ago
gotta try snapchat. at least with my kriptonite girl.
avatar for flagooner
flagooner
7 years ago
Happened to me quite a while ago. The next time I saw her at the club she rushed over to give me her new number. It might be something very innocent.
avatar for rh48hr
rh48hr
7 years ago
LW - I agree with no visiting her (too creepy), and yes to visiting a SC. Hi-Liter is beckoning you.
avatar for gawker
gawker
7 years ago
My ATF of 8+ years has done this many times - lost phones, off with a "hot guy", second thoughts about fucking a guy older than her grandfather, drug binges; you name it. EVERY time she's called me when her world fell apart. I think mine is the only phone number she's memorized and has called me from strangers' phones frequently. It's cuz she loves me.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
If I liked her that much, I would probably go where I knew I could find her and discreetly slip her a card with my number on it, and duck out to never return if I never heard from her after that. Yeah, it's risky, but it's also integral to the plotline of a fuckload of chick flicks.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
7 years ago
She's blowing you off because she doesn't want to talk to you. Going all creepy stalker isn't going to change that.

Accept it for what it is and just move on to the next fav
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
7 years ago
Update: The honey messaged me today! Apparently she got a new phone. For some reason it took four days (she wouldn't lie to me). All is right with the world.
avatar for ppwh
ppwh
7 years ago
Nice! I had a feeling it was going to end well. Maybe it was how short your post was.
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
@ houjack, Best advice ever :)
avatar for crazyjoe
crazyjoe
7 years ago
Riggt
avatar for Bj99
Bj99
7 years ago
It does take a few days for them to mail one if she had insurance. Or maybe she needed to get some money for a new one.
avatar for MrDeuce
MrDeuce
7 years ago
My ATF disappeared just before a planned overnight date in March. Eventually I found out that she had violated probation and was in jail for three months. We briefly re-established text contact when she got out, but I just found out she has violated *again* and is in jail *again*. Yeah, I can pick 'em :)

We can't make these women us like us, love us, see us, or even communicate with us. The most we can do is stay in just enough contact (e.g. by sending an occasional text) that they can get back in touch when *they* are ready to.

I won't text her while she's in jail, but when she's out, I'll hit her with an "Are you OK?" text without revealing that I know where she's been.
avatar for joc13
joc13
7 years ago
Sounds like I need to teach a Stripper Technology 101 class

1) use Android phones
2) create a "work" Google account
3) set contacts default to store all new contacts in Google account

Then, every time you get a new work phone, you log into Google account during set up and Voila! there are all your contacts.

Lost your phone? Need to call your PL-iest PL to get money for a new phone? Borrow your boyfriend's phone (he's busy playing Xbox so he's not using it), log into Gmail with your work account. Voila! there's all your contacts, so you can look up a number and "order" a new phone.
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