tuscl

The Ugly Stripper

JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
Thursday, August 17, 2017 5:20 AM
What is the ugliest stripper you've ever seen? I saw mine a few days ago. She was maybe 6'3" or 6'4", and looked like she would make a good linebacker. On most women her weight would make them look extremely fat. However, given this woman's huge frame, I'll be generous and simply say that she was on the border between very thick and just plain fat. The fact that she arguably wasn't quite genuinely, completely fat was her most attractive physical feature. Her face was assaultingly unattractive. If she looked at you it felt like she had lasers of pain coming from her eyes. It hurt to look at her. If you accidentally caught a glance, you would immediately look away. It was the same involuntary reaction that you'd have if you touched a hot stove. You immediately pull back to avoid the pain. She had the absolute worst fake tits that you can imagine. Everything that can go wrong with bolt ons could be observed. The doctor who did that really should not be allowed to continue in practice. They were gigantic and unmovable. You could strike those things with a hammer and the tool might break. They didn't quite match, and there were lumps in there that moved as she danced. They were truly awful. But her absolute worst feature by far is that she had an enormous, truly gargantuan, fake as a $4 bill ass. It was horrible, and not just because I'm not into a fat ass. Like the fake tits, you could clearly see that there were serious things wrong with her ass. It looked like they put a couple of big pit bulls in there and you could see them moving around trying desperately to get out. Usually I can't tell if an ass is fake except to guess that it might be because of the size but this was undeniably fake. It screamed " fake and hideous" with every dance move. Admittedly I was high when this happened, so it's possible that Mary Jane had some influence on my perceptions. She sometimes magnifies women's looks, whether positive or negative. But I don't think she was a big influence. Clackport was there with me, and he agreed that this dancer was incredibly hideous looking. He also recoiled in pain when he briefly looked at her. She was like a bad car wreck. You don't want to look, it is horrible to see, but still you can't stop taking occasional glances and then quickly turning away, wishing that you hadn't. When this "woman" came off stage, she walked straight towards our table. I think I let out an audible gasp when I saw her coming over. Something like "oh god please no." Thankfully she stopped at her friends table next to us. I turned around and stared at the wall to be positive that there was absolutely no chance of making the slightest hint of eye contact. She left a few minutes later and I never saw her again. Anybody else ever seen a dancer this ugly? Why the duck would a club hire such a person? Haven't they seen her naked? And this club had quite a few attractive girls, so it's not that the club was desperate for dancers.

21 comments

  • twentyfive
    •
    7 years ago
    You were with clackport did she hurt you so bad! LOL
  • RTP
    •
    7 years ago
    I once met a stripper at a rural NC club that was really not attractive and appeared to be mentally challenged. She was the only dancer in the place during the day I was there and I was one of 3 or 4 PL's, but the whole thing was just sad. She tried this hustle to get me into a private dance, but I just could not lower myself to this. I don't think even MaryJane could make me go back there.
  • vincemichaels
    •
    7 years ago
    There's a strip club in deer country in Northern Michigan that we visited. This thing got on stage, when I looked at her, I shuddered. She was big as a moose, a moose is prettier. When she stuck a lit cigarette in her pussy and started puffing smoke out of it, I bailed.
  • shailynn
    •
    7 years ago
    There have been so many ugly strippers over the years I couldn't start to list them, but one sticks in my head because when I see her I can never look away because I'm so horrified. In a club in Detroit there's a stripper. Who at one time was probably an attractive girl. Cover her entire body in tattoos, dye her hair jet black, make sure she never sees the sun, make her anorexic and give her a $5 boob job. Now, I just described 50% of strippers in every club. Can't stop there, give her a $20 butt implant job that looks like there's 2 basketballs hanging off her ass, and know she's complete. Her body is such a shit show I just can't look away. I've never seen a fake ass look so horrible before, and by the way she dresses compared to the way she looks (her body, makeup and tattoos) I can't tell if she's going to a Slayer concert after work or if she wants to date Lil Wayne. She certainly has an elitist attitude on stage, and guys throw money her way when she's on stage but I have never ever seen her go to give a lapdance before and I've been to this club dozens of times.
  • shadowcat
    •
    7 years ago
    She was in a black club called Pleasers or Pleasures on Bluff Rd in Columbia SC. I had never been in the place. I got a drink from the bar and then took a seat about 10 feet from the stage. This hippo must have weighed 350 lbs, was in her 40's, just rolls of fat, covered with tattoos, what teeth weren't missing had gold caps on them. Maybe I hadn't had enough to drink because there were two black guys sitting next to the stage stuffing $1 bills into her pussy. I finished my rum & coke in under 5 minutes and headed for the door. The manager stopped me on the way and pleaded with me to stay. He said "I know that you are here for the girls". I kept going and never went back.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    7 years ago
    For me it was a roughly 5'-6" ~ 180 pounder. She had a face that looked like it might have been run over by a Harley-Davidson (I'm pretty sure that there must have been several of those in her life!). She had relatively small, floppy boobs. Tattoos covered virtually her entire body. Just to top it all off, she had one outfit that she was wearing every time I saw her - black bra, black (shudder!) thong and ragged black fishnets. ...and to think I had just about unseen that until this post :-/
  • BrotherFogHorn
    •
    7 years ago
    Sounds like a keeper johnny
  • BrotherFogHorn
    •
    7 years ago
    Cum to confession. We need to talk
  • rh48hr
    •
    7 years ago
    Let's me preface this by saying, despite our thoughts on their lack of attractiveness, someone is finding them attractive enough to get dances. I can think of two in particular, both at dive bars where most of the dancers and a lot of the clientele are Hispanic. Interestingly enough both times it was a white girl who fell into the ugly category for me. The first time I was leaving the club and it was pretty busy. I noticed someone wearing a football jersey and as I did a double take realized it was a stripper going to the stage. A jersey can look cute on a girl but this dancer filed it out like she just stepped off the gridiron. I believe I noted in my review, watch out for the dancer who looks like Brian Urlacher. Nuff said. The other time as I was about to leave another club, I saw a woman who was around 250 lbs and you could see every roll of it. She was dancing for one of the Hispanic clients. She dwarfed him and you could barely see him. I did not find either of these women attractive, in fact it solidified by decision to leave. I'm sure their is similar conversations on their end about our attractiveness.
  • JimGassagain
    •
    7 years ago
    Lol! Luv the reference to "she hurt you so bad with that big booty in the club!"
  • Doces300
    •
    7 years ago
    A girl that dances where my cf does. She is tall, like Lurch tall. Painfully bad teeth, bucked out and gaps so big you could kick a field goal between them. Not fat but her body looks manly, like someone took a man took his dick off glued on a vag and completely unrelated tits. This is the girl that started my rant on 2s in the club and by rating her a 2 I was being kind
  • Huntsman
    •
    7 years ago
    A few years ago while hunting in the Dakotas, I stopped in a small town club. Three dancers that were as wide as they were tall. The best looking one had a face that could sink a thousand ships. There were lots of guys in the club but no one was getting dances or stage tipping because these girls disproved the idea that there is someone for everyone. When one of the behemoths came around lispingly begging for money, her body odor had about ten of us slamming our beers and running for the door. The club would have been better off having bingo night.
  • TheeOSU
    •
    7 years ago
    Several years back when a local club was full nude i was the only guy sitting at a table about 15ft back from the stage because all of the bar seats were taken. Remember the banjo playing kid in Deliverance? This hideous stripper that could have been his sister with added acne, stringy hair, and built more like guy than a women took the stage and devoted all of her attention towards me as she stripped nude. I did my best to ignore her but there are limited places that you can look when there's nobody or nothing else in the room. She would talk to me and i would act like i didn't hear her while she was dancing as i stared at my phone or at the walls. It was a very uncomfortable situation!
  • whodey
    •
    7 years ago
    This is a very depressing topic for me as a fan of dive Midwestern clubs. While these clubs are generally full of mostly 5-7s with an average girl next door look most of them have 1 or 2 girls that rate as an 8 or higher if you can catch them on shift. Unfortunately, most of these also have a couple of fuglies that I can't believe any PL would be ßo perverted to find them sexy enough to pay for. Granted I'm obese and by no means an attractive man, but that's why I pay good looking women for some fun and not the other way around. Every time I start to write about the worst looking stripper I've seen, I remember one that was even worse and start over only to have the same thing happen again. Instead of torturing myself any further I'll just describe the worst dancer I've seen on my current trip to Louisville. I pulled into a club (Wild Horses) I'd never stopped at before due to some of the reviews on here. A large group of about 10-12 girls were smoking on the porch and while most of them were AAs that were a little on the plump side I saw a couple of 7s that looked like they were worth a try. As I started towards the porch this grotesque monstrosity came out from behind the group and said "back off girls, I saw this one first so he's mine." This AA horror story was about 5' 2", 250 lbs of tatoo covered fat rolls stuffed into a fish net (or whale net) body suit and wearing flip flops that matched her neon green wig that she hadn't even bothered to put on straight. When she opened her mouth you could see a gold grill up top and two missing teeth down below. I literally threw up a little in my mouth at the thought and simply responded "Hell No" and turned around got in my car and left. I could hear a some of the other girls laughing and a couple of the other overweight girls trying to console her as I left. This sight tramatized me so bad I went back to the hotel because I figured that vision would haunt me and prevent a hard on for atleast 12 hours.
  • Crownand7
    •
    7 years ago
    It sounds like a lot of us are describing the same girl. Maybe elite ugliness isn't very diverse. The worst I've seen looked like Michael Strahan with a wig, discount built ons and a c-section scar.
  • Call.Me.Ishmael
    •
    7 years ago
    At Club Fantasies in Providence, there's a "dancer" in her mid/late 50s. The amount of booze that would convince me to get a dance from her is greater than the amount of booze that would kill me... thankfully.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    7 years ago
    I also recall two "dancers" at M bros in SF who I would have sworn very recently had sex change operations. They were close to being as ugly as the one who inspired this post.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    7 years ago
    I remember another one. Shitty dive in Phoenix that had signs warning about gang colors on the walls. I sat down and hoped that nobody killed me. After a couple of minutes a dancer walks up with her shirt unbuttoned. She was hideously ugly and was missing many, if not most, of her teeth. Before she could say anything I got up and walked out: This was in my early clubbing days before I had figured out how to find a safe strip club.
  • gawker
    •
    7 years ago
    As a few have mentioned, there's someone for everyone. Reading John Smith's description of this person (woman?) I started laughing, thinking of a man who was my boss for about 15 years. He was 5'4" tall when he had his booster shoes on. One night we had had a few drinks and he confided in me that his dream was to fuck a very big woman. So big that no part of his body touched the sheets. I'm sure he would have gladly mounted this behometh.
  • 3LeggedMan
    •
    7 years ago
    I once encountered a massive dancer in eastern Iowa that was around 6 foot 2 inches and 250 pounds. The most amazing thing was this "girl" was attracting customers for lap dances. Well there's something for everyone.
  • HungryGiraffe
    •
    7 years ago
    All women are beautiful! Some just more beautiful than others. :)
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