The Ugly Stripper
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
What is the ugliest stripper you've ever seen? I saw mine a few days ago.
She was maybe 6'3" or 6'4", and looked like she would make a good linebacker. On most women her weight would make them look extremely fat. However, given this woman's huge frame, I'll be generous and simply say that she was on the border between very thick and just plain fat. The fact that she arguably wasn't quite genuinely, completely fat was her most attractive physical feature.
Her face was assaultingly unattractive. If she looked at you it felt like she had lasers of pain coming from her eyes. It hurt to look at her. If you accidentally caught a glance, you would immediately look away. It was the same involuntary reaction that you'd have if you touched a hot stove. You immediately pull back to avoid the pain.
She had the absolute worst fake tits that you can imagine. Everything that can go wrong with bolt ons could be observed. The doctor who did that really should not be allowed to continue in practice. They were gigantic and unmovable. You could strike those things with a hammer and the tool might break. They didn't quite match, and there were lumps in there that moved as she danced. They were truly awful.
But her absolute worst feature by far is that she had an enormous, truly gargantuan, fake as a $4 bill ass. It was horrible, and not just because I'm not into a fat ass. Like the fake tits, you could clearly see that there were serious things wrong with her ass. It looked like they put a couple of big pit bulls in there and you could see them moving around trying desperately to get out. Usually I can't tell if an ass is fake except to guess that it might be because of the size but this was undeniably fake. It screamed " fake and hideous" with every dance move.
Admittedly I was high when this happened, so it's possible that Mary Jane had some influence on my perceptions. She sometimes magnifies women's looks, whether positive or negative. But I don't think she was a big influence. Clackport was there with me, and he agreed that this dancer was incredibly hideous looking. He also recoiled in pain when he briefly looked at her. She was like a bad car wreck. You don't want to look, it is horrible to see, but still you can't stop taking occasional glances and then quickly turning away, wishing that you hadn't.
When this "woman" came off stage, she walked straight towards our table. I think I let out an audible gasp when I saw her coming over. Something like "oh god please no." Thankfully she stopped at her friends table next to us. I turned around and stared at the wall to be positive that there was absolutely no chance of making the slightest hint of eye contact.
She left a few minutes later and I never saw her again.
Anybody else ever seen a dancer this ugly? Why the duck would a club hire such a person? Haven't they seen her naked? And this club had quite a few attractive girls, so it's not that the club was desperate for dancers.
She was maybe 6'3" or 6'4", and looked like she would make a good linebacker. On most women her weight would make them look extremely fat. However, given this woman's huge frame, I'll be generous and simply say that she was on the border between very thick and just plain fat. The fact that she arguably wasn't quite genuinely, completely fat was her most attractive physical feature.
Her face was assaultingly unattractive. If she looked at you it felt like she had lasers of pain coming from her eyes. It hurt to look at her. If you accidentally caught a glance, you would immediately look away. It was the same involuntary reaction that you'd have if you touched a hot stove. You immediately pull back to avoid the pain.
She had the absolute worst fake tits that you can imagine. Everything that can go wrong with bolt ons could be observed. The doctor who did that really should not be allowed to continue in practice. They were gigantic and unmovable. You could strike those things with a hammer and the tool might break. They didn't quite match, and there were lumps in there that moved as she danced. They were truly awful.
But her absolute worst feature by far is that she had an enormous, truly gargantuan, fake as a $4 bill ass. It was horrible, and not just because I'm not into a fat ass. Like the fake tits, you could clearly see that there were serious things wrong with her ass. It looked like they put a couple of big pit bulls in there and you could see them moving around trying desperately to get out. Usually I can't tell if an ass is fake except to guess that it might be because of the size but this was undeniably fake. It screamed " fake and hideous" with every dance move.
Admittedly I was high when this happened, so it's possible that Mary Jane had some influence on my perceptions. She sometimes magnifies women's looks, whether positive or negative. But I don't think she was a big influence. Clackport was there with me, and he agreed that this dancer was incredibly hideous looking. He also recoiled in pain when he briefly looked at her. She was like a bad car wreck. You don't want to look, it is horrible to see, but still you can't stop taking occasional glances and then quickly turning away, wishing that you hadn't.
When this "woman" came off stage, she walked straight towards our table. I think I let out an audible gasp when I saw her coming over. Something like "oh god please no." Thankfully she stopped at her friends table next to us. I turned around and stared at the wall to be positive that there was absolutely no chance of making the slightest hint of eye contact.
She left a few minutes later and I never saw her again.
Anybody else ever seen a dancer this ugly? Why the duck would a club hire such a person? Haven't they seen her naked? And this club had quite a few attractive girls, so it's not that the club was desperate for dancers.
21 comments
In a club in Detroit there's a stripper. Who at one time was probably an attractive girl. Cover her entire body in tattoos, dye her hair jet black, make sure she never sees the sun, make her anorexic and give her a $5 boob job. Now, I just described 50% of strippers in every club.
Can't stop there, give her a $20 butt implant job that looks like there's 2 basketballs hanging off her ass, and know she's complete. Her body is such a shit show I just can't look away. I've never seen a fake ass look so horrible before, and by the way she dresses compared to the way she looks (her body, makeup and tattoos) I can't tell if she's going to a Slayer concert after work or if she wants to date Lil Wayne.
She certainly has an elitist attitude on stage, and guys throw money her way when she's on stage but I have never ever seen her go to give a lapdance before and I've been to this club dozens of times.
This hippo must have weighed 350 lbs, was in her 40's, just rolls of fat, covered with tattoos, what teeth weren't missing had gold caps on them.
Maybe I hadn't had enough to drink because there were two black guys sitting next to the stage stuffing $1 bills into her pussy.
I finished my rum & coke in under 5 minutes and headed for the door. The manager stopped me on the way and pleaded with me to stay. He said "I know that you are here for the girls". I kept going and never went back.
She had a face that looked like it might have been run over by a Harley-Davidson (I'm pretty sure that there must have been several of those in her life!). She had relatively small, floppy boobs. Tattoos covered virtually her entire body. Just to top it all off, she had one outfit that she was wearing every time I saw her - black bra, black (shudder!) thong and ragged black fishnets.
...and to think I had just about unseen that until this post :-/
I can think of two in particular, both at dive bars where most of the dancers and a lot of the clientele are Hispanic. Interestingly enough both times it was a white girl who fell into the ugly category for me.
The first time I was leaving the club and it was pretty busy. I noticed someone wearing a football jersey and as I did a double take realized it was a stripper going to the stage. A jersey can look cute on a girl but this dancer filed it out like she just stepped off the gridiron. I believe I noted in my review, watch out for the dancer who looks like Brian Urlacher. Nuff said.
The other time as I was about to leave another club, I saw a woman who was around 250 lbs and you could see every roll of it. She was dancing for one of the Hispanic clients. She dwarfed him and you could barely see him.
I did not find either of these women attractive, in fact it solidified by decision to leave.
I'm sure their is similar conversations on their end about our attractiveness.
Luv the reference to "she hurt you so bad with that big booty in the club!"
Remember the banjo playing kid in Deliverance?
This hideous stripper that could have been his sister with added acne, stringy hair, and built more like guy than a women took the stage and devoted all of her attention towards me as she stripped nude. I did my best to ignore her but there are limited places that you can look when there's nobody or nothing else in the room. She would talk to me and i would act like i didn't hear her while she was dancing as i stared at my phone or at the walls. It was a very uncomfortable situation!
Every time I start to write about the worst looking stripper I've seen, I remember one that was even worse and start over only to have the same thing happen again. Instead of torturing myself any further I'll just describe the worst dancer I've seen on my current trip to Louisville.
I pulled into a club (Wild Horses) I'd never stopped at before due to some of the reviews on here. A large group of about 10-12 girls were smoking on the porch and while most of them were AAs that were a little on the plump side I saw a couple of 7s that looked like they were worth a try.
As I started towards the porch this grotesque monstrosity came out from behind the group and said "back off girls, I saw this one first so he's mine."
This AA horror story was about 5' 2", 250 lbs of tatoo covered fat rolls stuffed into a fish net (or whale net) body suit and wearing flip flops that matched her neon green wig that she hadn't even bothered to put on straight. When she opened her mouth you could see a gold grill up top and two missing teeth down below.
I literally threw up a little in my mouth at the thought and simply responded "Hell No" and turned around got in my car and left. I could hear a some of the other girls laughing and a couple of the other overweight girls trying to console her as I left. This sight tramatized me so bad I went back to the hotel because I figured that vision would haunt me and prevent a hard on for atleast 12 hours.