Need an Alibi
houjack
Explosion in my pants
So I've been using "drinks with a friend" as my cover for a while when going to the SC. It's been going well, but recently the wife asked when she's gonna meet this guy.
My "friend" is gonna get a new job and move before he has a chance to meet my wife, lol.
Should I repeat the process? Maybe I need other excuses.
Working late and gym will not work. She knows my coworkers and the gym is in apartment complex.
Any thoughts from dudes that have significant others, what do you do? Or any suggestions for excuses?
My "friend" is gonna get a new job and move before he has a chance to meet my wife, lol.
Should I repeat the process? Maybe I need other excuses.
Working late and gym will not work. She knows my coworkers and the gym is in apartment complex.
Any thoughts from dudes that have significant others, what do you do? Or any suggestions for excuses?
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31 comments
The best option is to visit clubs when you travel for work. Or if you don't travel for work, come up with some other excuse to go out of town to a city with good clubs.
Could you get away from work during the day and go on day shift? That way you only need an excuse for your boss at work and not your boss at home. Otherwise try to use a variety of excuses and space out your visits so as to not be suspicious. You could try working late,or a business dinner with an actual/potential customer that doesn't include spouses.
But you're asking what to use as an excuse on an average weeknight or weekend night. I would say you need a legit activity that is at night. Say it's 1 night a week, but you tell your wife it's 2 nights a week, but you're going to have to find an activity that is legit and something that is at night. I play in a basketball league at night and sometimes I don't get home until 10:30PM, but I am covered in sweat and can barely move, so that would be hard for you to replicate.
Other ideas:
1. Karate class or some other type of exercise class.
2. I knew of guys that met and were in a "dart throwing" league and met once a week in a basement of a church. I thought how boring? They can't even drink.
3. Home poker games, say the game rotates at a few different guys houses that have poker tables set up in their garage or basement.
4. What about a mens group like Knights of Columbus or Odd Fellows? Those are really old school but there's got to be something out there like that.
5. I know a bunch of guys that fish at night.
Lastly maybe just find a guy to use as your "buddy." Find some other PL at the club, and have him meet you and your wife at a bar one night. Fuck, most guys would gladly do that if you paid his bar tab and bought him a couple of lapdances at the club one night.
The easy one is that my wife is not a sports fan. So, once a week or so, especially during football season, I can go out to watch a sports event "because watching with a group at a sports bar is more fun than sitting at home watching by myself". Since the clubs I frequent all have TVs I can go watch a game(s) and not even be lying.
There are a few sports bars around town that are 21+ only and allow smoking, so I'm even covered for ending up smelling like smoke.
Option #2 started with an assist from my doctor, who said I needed to get more active, and was supported by my wife. So, I started working as an "official" (umpire/referee) for various sports. I joined a group that doesn't work in my immediate home area, but is still close enough to be convenient. I had to invest some time in training and equipment, but I've made all that back in game fees. I love doing it, it gets me outdoors/active and keeps me involved in the sports I love but really can't play any more. I didn't really need the money, but it is a nice addition to the play budget.
Any way, as far as cover stories go, like someone else said, I take one assignment per week, but put two assignments per week in my calendar. I can take a couple games at an all day tournament, but still be gone all day. I even go work out of town tournaments, some real, some not, which creates opportunity for overnight dates.
My car is now a portable locker room, constantly full of equipment, uniforms, extra clothes, towels, etc, so if I come home in different clothes than I left the house in, it doesn't raise a red flag.
So, I found a way to fuse two things I enjoy (sports and strippers/SBs), so that one helps to pay for and cover the other.
There are potentially non-brilliant parts of this alibi. Specifically, she may have the following questions:
1. How did you meet an agoraphobic multimillionaire?
Tell her that you saved his life because you saw him freaking out when he attempted to leave the house. Just say his psychologist advised him to face his fear but then it didn't go well and you stepped in!
2. Why can't she meet him at his house?
Simple. His is afraid of women!
3. Is this total bullshit? Is the "agoraphobic millionaire" actually a stripper?
I've got nothing for this one. If she asks it you're busted! :(
I've contemplated just asking another PL at the club to meet my wife in return for a night at the club, my treat. I'd rather do something where she doesn't interact with anyone, less chance of dude blowing my cover for lulz or her finding out because of shit story.
I'll probably do something similar to joc13 or rockstar666. Find an activity that requires nights out and use that as cover.
While you can't use that excuse at night, it works good for day shift. Especially in the summer when the days are longer. I could routinely get to stay out until at least 9pm in the summer after work. Luckily, I don't have to come up with any alibis anymore now that I'm divorced. :)
1. Keep it simple
2. Don't involve others in keeping the lie
3. Make the story plausible
4. Include something true in the lie
5. Lie before you need to, before there is suspicion
I have no idea what the value of this advice is.
#1 is poker night. Indian casinos are everywhere, also gives you an excuse to have tobacco smell on your clothes if you're in a state that still allows smoking in public places. Make sure you also watch poker on TV from time to time to sell the excuse. Also gives you an excuse to access your bank account to pay for "tournaments."
#2 for me is softball. I have a league every Friday night. In our city, we play two games a night, either 6:30 & 7:30 or 8:30 & 9:30. I'm pretty good so I get asked by other teams to fill in for a missing player. Those games are always an 8:30 start time, which means I have carte blanche until 11pm. Also great excuse to have a wet towel to clean off any stripper smell from your body. Keep your softball gear ready in your car/truck and only wash it occasionally so it smells/looks like you were actually playing when you get home.
#3 If you do in home sales of any type (or your company does and you're a supervisor), you now have an appointment at 7pm (only time customer can be home). After that, you'll just pick up some dinner on your own, so don't wait for me. That gives you a few hours before you raise suspicion.
There are others, but the only thing lamer than drinks with an imaginary friend would be 4got's "advice" above. But what do you expect from someone who's been here for years and still needs help on how to post a review?
CP
SJG
The kids also know that I have a side business consulting, along with a "manager" gig of a local band, both of which sometimes involve late nights.
Then, actually go golfing. Just play 9 holes. Tell her you played 18, bring home a scorecard with all 18 holes filled in. Use the extra 2.5 hours to SC.
You can play courses near various strip clubs. You will have stories to tell about your amazing shots. If checked up on, you will be where you said you would be (for half the time). If you smell like smoke, the dude in your car smoked between shots. if you have a few drinks, well, you had a few drinks on the course. If you drop $100 at the SC and get called on it, well, you lost a few bets of the course.
If I am being candid, a distortion of a version of the truth is easier to maintain the air of legitimacy that an out-and-out complete fabrication.