I'm back again. Same story of love. VERY lengthy and detailed but 3 months has p
Sunday, June 18, 2017 1:25 PM
I have posted my story before but now 3 months have past and she now knows how I feel. I've started from the beginning to remind you all and for the benefit of new people. It is absolutely HUGE and 85% of you will say "Screw reading all that" but honestly if 2 guys give me advice and read it all...i'll be eternally grateful. I know how stupid it all is, so don't remind me. I spend everyday doubting things and have discussed my fears with the girl in question. I'ts long but i've done a seperate paragraph for each topic. Thanks in advance ❤️
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I'm 20 and she is 24. I have been seeing her at work for 8 months (5 as a huge regular). I am in both nights each weekend. I used to spend big for my age and occupation whilst everything was professional and a fantasy. She then escalated things personally and my spending didn't overly change, she has only gained hassle from me by doing so.
I simply cannot get her out of my mind. I have never felt this way or had a connection like this with anyone. I'm shy around new people and girls in particular but I can just be so relaxed with her now. I have her real name and we have chatted on Facebook daily since February (Coincidentally just after she dumped her boyfriend). We have had a few lengthy phone calls too. Its not always me making the moves, she'll often popup and ask me how my day has been without me initiating things.
We're in the UK, its a tiny gentlemen's club. Very cleanly ran, no drugs, extras, etc. (Trust me, I may as well live in that place) everybody knows everybody in my small town. She doesn't even drink alcohol at work. I see the manager buying groceries almost daily. Whenever I attend the club now, i'll literally sit and chat for upto 30mins before even paying for anything. And its all mega personal stuff. I know everything about her, her family, her finances to the nearest pound and her past. I ask personal questions but she'll often give me deep info without me asking. She really trusts me.
Me and my friends are next door in a regular nightclub every weekend and she often goes there for the final hour before close. We have bought eachother many drinks and have kissed...usually hidden away in a corner because other girls are present. We often share a taxi home and get out at our own apartments separately as a way to save money and make sure we get home safely. I lost my wallet once and was staying out of town. She leant me a pretty good sum of money at 5am so that I could get home. I paid her back and when I leant her money next month...she did the same. We have also exchanged birthday gifts. She has many times told me to save my money for another night rather than buying tonnes of lapdances whilst i've been drunk and feeling flush after a casino visit.
She has recently been to my place and met my parents. She used to work in the beauty industry so she is doing my Sister's hair and makeup for her highschool prom. Other stylists quoted us £150 but she is doing it or free. And the test version she did last week was great and so professional. If anybody knew she was involved with me like this....she would be done. My parents were surprised at how lovely and well mannered she was. She truly is a sweetheart but doesn't take any shit. She now wants to attend the prom with my family and witness it whilst taking pictures.
I told her that I was falling in love with her last month and I gave her permission to laugh at me because its so stupid and unrealistic. I said "You probably think i'm lovely but will never see me in that way" she then got pretty upset. She hates when I put myself down, she says she likes me and cares deeply about me. She often reassures me and tells me to stop overthinking little things, something that I do a lot. I do worry about her. She HATES me referring to myself as a regular, she calls me "her man" or "future husband" if she is smoking out the back, other girls will run out to her and say "Your man has arrived" and she even told me that her manager said that I am "Good boyfriend material for her"
She said I would be "Perfect for her" but she is simply not looking for a boyfriend right now. I've said things like "As if you'd date a guy with my looks" and "Nice guys finish last" and she again got quite upset and told me about one of her exes who had long hair and missing teeth but he was a lovely guy. She constantly reminds me that its out of our control who we fall in love with and that you simply never know whats around the corner. "You cant prove those theories of nice guys"
She has Bi-Polar disorder and her most recent ex verbally abused her frequently. She has lived alone since the day she turned 18, 6 years ago and is VERY independant and stubborn, she has days where she just needs to be given space. Her Mothers boyfriend would beat her as a child and eventually set the family home on fire, leaving her to save her 3 younger sisters from the blaze even though she was just a child herself. But her life is in such great order now. (No problems like I hear about these American girls on this site) she doesn't have many luxuries but cares very deeply about her Mom, Sister's and Dog. She is clean, just gets by and is a lovely young woman. Her Mother is also aware of me. She isn't overly intelligent and enjoys her job, it suits her. Shes been there since she was 18, the second longest serving girl has only done 2 years.
She knows that I fully respect and understand her job more than most guys and loves that about me, I 100% do not see her as a sexual object at all. Obviously I want her in my bed but I would rather do a million other romantic things with her before that.
I've been told "I just don't want you to wait around for me and miss out on other opportunities and fun because of me" but I have never had luck with girls and nobody else is on my seen so i'm happy to wait. When we look in eachothers eyes we just both smile and giggle. It was never like that a few months ago. We truly have grown closer and closer. My dances are often longer because she "Just loves dancing for me"
Overall does anybody seriously think that One day I could hold her in my arms and call her mine? Obviously the whole "not being ready" thing could be a gentle letdown but she is a 10/10 and EVERYBODY'S friend in our town, but has been single for 4 months.
With the style of person that she is and the way she's been treated in the past, you can genuinely see why she may not want love right now.
I just fear that one day some other asshole will stroll into her life and suddenly she will be "ready" for him.
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