Has a dancer ever asked you why you don't get dances from her?
Papi_Chulo
Miami, FL (or the nearest big-booty club)
As most of you know, I like to hit small-black clubs and in Miami dances at these clubs are only $5 or $10 w/ good-mileage - w/ my love for chocolate and the cheap-dances, I often get A LOT of dances; and also me liking variety it's not rare for me to get dances from a lot of different dancers (6 and sometimes more).
I'm also into the thick voluptuous ebonies or at least curvy-ones referred to as "slim-thick" (slim but w/ good sized titties and ass) - I will often pass on the slim-ones w/ not much curves (small tits and small asses).
Thus b/c I get many dances from many different dancers, every once in a while I'll get an ebony coming up to me asking me why I have not gotten dances from her - there's not really any nice way to say it so I just say "I'm into the thick girls" - many of them put a face as if I just punched them in the stomach b/c the black-club M.O. is usually that the thick voluptuous girls are the most desired and get the most-attention.
So - has a dancer come up to you asking why you don't get dances from her and if so how did you handle it?
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38 comments
SJG
In the end we both wind up pissed off. Her because she doesn't make any money and me because she won't take "No" for answer.
:)
SJG
I've had girls I've gotten dances with before ask me why I don't get dances with them anymore. The main reason is usually they put on too much weight, but I just tell them I like variety.
SJG
That is the classic pattern. While sometimes, this might just be a good-natured extension of her hustle, most of the time it's a hyper-aggressive pattern (even if you don't realize it at first), meant to fence you into a corner and/or humiliate you or accuse you of being a racist or liar ... many times, it's not even meant to hardsell you into a dance, just to ruin your day and let her feel better about herself for doing so.
As a result, I just don't even play into it, I'm not there to let some low-self-esteem psycho use me to make herself feel good. The main thing here is to nip it in the bud -- I don't answer the "why not?" question, and if I don't answer, she can't go into her little cycle. Sometimes, I just re-dismiss her and turn away. If I'm feeling playful and I feel like she's just extending her hustle rather than going into aggression mode, I'll play with her a bit, but my rule is simple: I will NOT answer any of her questions, or get caught in that cycle of her controlling the conversation by asking questions and me answering. Instead, I'll work things right away to me in control, and her answering ... "Who is my type? Who do you think is my type?" ... "Her? Why do you think I like skinny bitches?!" and on and on, I ask a cute question, she answers. I lead, she follows. If she doesn't like it, she pretty quickly realizes what's going on, cuts bait and leaves. Sometimes, she'll play along, I'll like her style, and now I have a new drinking buddy. Perfect outcome in both cases :)
:)
Her: Why don't you like me?
Me: I have certain preferences and you're just not it.
Over half the time that's enough right there, but about half the girls who start down this road feel compelled to keep going, usually with something like:
Her: Why not? [and/or] What do you like?
Me: What's the point in talking about this more? I'm not spending on you tonight and that's it.
Now usually it will stop there, with her storming off and maybe saying something snarky on the way. But every once in a while, often when it is a black chick, it will go on to:
Her: I think you just don't like black girls.
Me: Or maybe I just don't like you. But thanks for stopping by.
When this starts, I find that a healthy asshole moment really helps to move things along. It helps that I don't care in the slightest what she thinks of me. If she thinks I'm an asshole, racist or both, then so what? My one goal is to encourage her to leave as quickly as possible so that I'm free to pursue more promising prospects.
I also remember at one of my old favorite clubs that a lady used that line and I more or less said it was because she got lost in the shuffle, with all the other hot ladies there. She was one of the last favorites I had there.
Maybe she's been paying attention to me for awhile and noticed me still getting dances and comes to me again. I'll just tell her i have someone else in mind. Of course the nosy bitch will probably say WHO? At which point, i could just bluntly say the name of a girl or the girl who is obviously very different from her. Or i could just be snarky and say, i don't know her name, but she's clearly not you.
i guess you could just turn it back on her, and ask her why do want to get a dance from someone that doesn't want to get a dance from you? Have you forgotten that i get dances for me and not for you? Or my favorite, hey if you pay for the dances, i'll get as many as you want. Which still isn't true. Some of these girls couldn't pay me to dance with them.
In the black clubs in Miami, I'm usually pretty straight up about it. I prefer the slimmer girls, so I tell them that. Its rare that that I have an issue, since as PC said the slimmer girls don't get a lot of love & the thicker girls are usually the most sought after. So, its usually a thicker girl who's usually popular and is genuinely curious why I'm the only dude who's not into her. Often, they get this big grin on their face and come back with their skinny friend who's hyper excited she's got someone who digs her type. Sometimes they're just like, okay, cool, cya. Worst case scenario in black clubs that don't have tip parades a 2-3 dollar tip and a pat on the ass usually ends any conversation amicably. Any black stripper who tries to place the race card on a white guy, sometimes the only white guy, in a black strip club has to be retarded.
Other times, I take a variation of Subra's approach. If I get the bitchy vibe, I won't play along. I'll refuse to answer and change the subject to take control of the conversation. Sometimes that doesn't work out, as once I have control of the conversation I usually drive it to a dead end on purpose. The really stubborn ones will come back around to their original question and I don't want to waste my time repeating the process, so I just ignore them.
At clubs I visit regularly where I have a favorite or a reputation as a spender, I answer the question honestly & without hesitation. "You're not my type" if she presses, I'll tell her exactly what's wrong with her. I start out with a positive or neutral spin, "I prefer smaller boobs" or "I prefer <insertotherhaircolorhere>" but when that doesn't work I won't wait long before I tell her her ass is too flat/fat, her tits are too saggy, her belly is to flabby, her teeth are fucked up, I don't fuck with girls with track marks (yeah, I visit some shady clubs), she smells, whatever it is I don't like.
Every now and again, I don't have an answer, she's hot and I do want a dance. So I answer: because you never offered, why don't we have a drink and get to know each other a bit...
ANd you reminded me, once in a long while it IS someone I want to dance with, or at least would consider. Then I switch us straight over to banter, often starting with, "The question is, why haven't YOU come over to ME? Too busy with your regulars?", which begets banter back (often "You're so popular I couldn't get near you", I've heard that a bunch), which begets shots, which begets more shots, which begets VIP
By taking the asshole approach I short circuit all of that nonsense very quickly. They may hate me when they walk away, but that was going to be the likely outcome anyway.
But otherwise politely shine her on and done waste her time. Don't every say anything contemptuous though.
SJG
Some recommend:
https://www.amazon.com/Kabbalah-Magic-Gr…
Golden Dawn Tarot
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Huu9OvGB…
" I'm holding out for someone who wants to play OTC."
And buying dances is a chump's game.
SJG
SJG
Everyone wins.
SJG
You gain nothing by answering past the first one.
SJG
1) about 6 months ago at a black dive - late dayshift about 10 dancers - got multiple dances from about 6 of the girls and was getting dances pretty-much the whole time I was there ($10/dance) - got dances from mostly the thick girls, or the slim-thick curvy girls - a pretty, and light-skinned young ebony (21?) approaches me and tells me - "you've gotten dances w/ everyone here except me and it makes me feel like there is something wrong w/ me that you didn't get any from me". I really didn't get dances w/ all the girls but w/ most but since I was constantly getting dances it made it look like I was getting dances w/ everyone
2) this past weekend at a different black-dive - got dances from about a 1/2-dozen dancers an often locked them down for 15-minutes+ getting dances which were $5/dance - a young slim ebony approaches me and tells me "you've gotten dances w/ everyone but me"
So it wasn't a case of them asking me for a dance and me saying no and then them saying "but why not me" - off the bat they both asked why not them even b/f asking me for a dance as if they felt left-out or something wrong w/ them - dances are also on the floor at both these clubs so very evident who's buying/spending and who's not, and how much they are spending
In both cases I told them I'm into thick girls which non-thick AA dancers kinda take as a put-down since thickness is often the desired quantity in most all-black clubs - it could also be that the thin AA girls at these all-black clubs may be used to the few white-guys going-for-them/preferring-them and thus they being confused as to why I would not go for them like other white-guys.
If No , then shine her on.
So her dance offer always gets deflected, always. And her follow on questions get evaded.
SJG
"Your 30+", "Your as old as my mom", "your older than my oldest sister", "I could've gone to chuck-e-cheese to see stretch marks", "Let me see your ass first....Nah", "Do you ask guys at the mall, why they don't ask for your number?", this one girl MIA at showcase really got it from me, black girl with fake ass and tits. Stereotypical black girls have nice asses, I came to see and feel on big black booties. "The same $20 I spent on your little black booty I could've paid to feel on that big ol black ass.", "Why didn't the most popular boy at your school ask you to prom?" like seriously what kind of question is "Why haven't you gotten a dance from me?" Cause you not pretty/sexy enough, Duh.
Sometimes I'll get a dance and they'll try to face me and ill tell them to turn around cause there teeth are jacked up, they usually never offer again. They get the point.