tuscl

Two TUSCL Internet Tough Guys Walking Down Wall Street

san_jose_guy
money was invented for handing to women, but buying dances is a chump's game
One is named Dougster and the other is named Twentyfive. They see an Occupy protestor with a sign which says, 'The 98%'. So Twentyfive says, "You good for nothing looser, never accomplished anything in your entire life." And Dougster says, "There are always jobs in the tech sector and in finance."

Then finally Dougster says, look they can recreate your life for you now:
https://www.harborfreight.com/media/cata…

Next a guy jumps out of an alley, brandishing a knife, and he says, "Your money or your life." So Twentyfive says, look you stupid punk, you can work for me, so long as you are in all the way. Dougster says, "I never carry any cash, but I can give you some good stock tips." Confused, the robber pulls back.

Then they reach were Dougster parked the Rolls Royce. They get in and Dougster starts cranking it, and he says, "Hope it still has enough to go, I could only afford to put in two gallons. And Twentyfive says, "Yeah, and need to find a way to get some more money so we can pay some hookers for sex."

SJG

KING CRIMSON - "Epitaph" (live in Tokyo) played by “21st Century Schizoid Band”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVLHU8Yi…

20 comments

  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    You @SJG are the only one here that has made threats against other members I'd have to say in my best marine DI voice you are the only internet tough guy here. What a dumbass.
  • rickthevulture
    7 years ago
    Besides, Dougster isn't a rich tough guy. He's a marked man for his anti-rick agitation. Squawk!

    The council does not take threats lightly. A certain lion will be visiting Dougster very soon. Then Dougie will hear a word that chills him to the bone. Squawk!

    A word that rhymes with schmildebeest. Roar...cough...squawk!
  • Dougster
    7 years ago
    That's actually reasonably funny, SJG. Some days you are pure psycho, and sometime you are a bit funny.

    Overall, however, you're still a psycho fag.
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    PART II

    So Dougster and Twentyfive drive off in the Rolls.

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_IxnfUPOgwas/Sn…

    So Twentyfive says, "This is a cool car. But it looks so heavy. And no transmission bump, engine must be way forward on the front wheels. Where did you get this car?"

    Dougster, "Well I got this from the estate of the late Reverend Ike. They let me have it for next to nothing because before I was a financial wiz, I used to work for Rev. Ike. I brought in more new people and more new money than all his other outreach ministers combined. So they always let be use this car too. When you have a car like this, it incapacitates people's critical faculties. See, its two color scheme even makes it look like money. They believe that if they give you money, then even more will come back to them. And because I understand how to use this phenomenon, I am the greatest at selling investments too."

    Twentyfive, "But doesn't your conscience bother you when you take money off of people that way."

    Dougster, "No it doesn't. An honest man is completely immune to my pitches. I get money off of people who have already given up and who want some way of beating the system. These are people who want to be conned. Lots of people tell them the truth. They want someone who can con them. Oh, that reminds me, I was in front of the Stock Exchange this morning, with this car. I sold a couple of guys some shares of stock in my television production company. They paid in cash."

    Twentyfive, "So can we pay some hookers for some sex?"

    Dougster, "We are almost ready to start taping for our show, 'How To Pay Hookers For Sex', but we don't have enough money to pay for that today though. But this old Rolls uses lots of gas, and we do have enough money to fill up the tank, for once."

    They stop at a traffic light and a guy steps off of the center median and wants to squeegee their windows.

    So Twentyfive says to the man, "You have never accomplished anything!"

    Dougster says, "We don't have money to pay you, but I can tell you that everything on the stock markets is undervalued. Buy, buy, buy!

    SJG

    Insane Asylum Photos
    http://www.viralworld.net/these-images-f… Asylum Photos You Were Never Meant To See &utm_medium=ViralWorld.net-DESK-US-AsyPics-1&utm_term=0049d8ad5b4209f79acdf85ca40f7d1982
  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    You got one thing way wrong I never pay hookers for sex I only pay them to leave
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    :)

    SJG
  • JimGassagain
    7 years ago
    Hey SJG, will you mind if I pitch this idea about "2 Internet Tough Guys" to my people at TV Land?

    I think you've got a gift! You should make a series. Of course it's a must to throw in some of your AAMP experiences in the show to mix things up.
  • twentyfive
    7 years ago
    @jIm Gaffigan of course you'll cast Pee Wee Herman as SJG and I need a producers credit & 4% of all residuals ; )
  • vincemichaels
    7 years ago
    Bad news, Jim, s_j_g doesn't act well. It would be like watching a 6 year old on stage. :)
  • ime
    7 years ago
    How about a new reality series Sanjoseguy meets ISIS.
  • Dougster
    7 years ago
    I'd like your original post better, SJG. The follow up was kind of week. But at least you're trying, with glimmers of hope.
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    Gaffigan, by all means pitch it, or appropriate it, whatever. See what happens.

    SJG
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    and Vincemichaels, don't you get it, watching Gaffigan has to be like watching an 11 year old on stage.

    SJG
  • Mate27
    7 years ago
    Lol! Tough guy on the internet SJG.
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    PART III

    Dougster and Twentyfive continue driving to the gas station. While pumping their gas someone in an old Toyota Pickup speaks to them, "What kind of a car is that?"

    Twentyfive responds, "You homeless good for nothing, you have never accomplished anything in your entire life. I on the other hand have always put my money into my own business, for the last 30 years."

    The other guy just leaves. Dougster pulls Twentyfive aside and says, "You need to work on your delivery a little. Doing it the way you do is not going to get people to hand you money. You've still got a lot to learn."

    SJG
  • JimGassagain
    7 years ago
    SJG is the most hated member of tuscl!
  • ime
    7 years ago
    This androoriceklay is alright.
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    AndrooRiceKlay, your story, its all SHIT. I wouldn't engage with a girl like that, and I do treat girls with respect and I would not, especially in Mexico, try to be cheap with them. You obviously have not read anything of what I have posted.

    SJG
  • JimGassagain
    7 years ago
    Are you an internet tough guy SJG?

    You sure write like one.
  • san_jose_guy
    7 years ago
    PART IV

    Dougster and Twenty five, driving along now with their full tank of gas, but not much cash.

    Dougster says, "I first learned my style working for Reverend Ike. But then after that there was a boom, and its because of this boom that I got my first job in finance, working for a guy by the name of Bernard Madoff. That guy, he really knew how to con rich people. He kept the money coming in, so that for so long he never had any trouble.

    SJG
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