Too good to be true: the perfect stripper?

31 comments

• flagooner

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  7 years ago

  Your Mom.
• twentyfive

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  7 years ago

  ^^^I thought the cafeteria lady .
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  -->"A lot of you value monger TUSCLers stay away from the hottest girls in the club because in general ITC they're high hustle and low mileage/ROB, and OTC they're super flaky and very expensive." Hmmm, that's not my impression. I do stay away from the highest-hustle seller's-market times (e.g., saturday night at 1am), but bias immediately to the hottest girl in the club when I do make it in during the slower shifts; if she's got GPS, then and only then I'll drop down to the next hottest. It's insane to me to not give the hottest girl a chance, based on the assumption that she isn't awesome. -->"That being said have you ever met a stripper that was a 9+ (in your opinion) that was essentially the perfect stripper to you?" I will continue to say that "perfect stripper", "dream stripper" etc are juvenile concepts that I find it cringeworthy when grown men buy into. Putting that aside, I've had a number of ATFs who I thought were 9+. In fac5, for about 12-18 months, I had an ATF who I still consider the hottest woman I've ever seen in a strip club. Very little GPS in her game, at least that wasn't warranted, though in the end I let her go when she became so much in demand and so much money was being thrown at her that she really couldn't afford to treat me the way I demand to be treated.
• jackslash

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  7 years ago

  I like strippers with GPS. They're easier to find.
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  I've shared doens of stories to demonstrate why the DS is my "perfect stripper." Is calling her my dream juvenile? Maybe. But so is much of what all of us do here on a regular basis.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  -->" But so is much of what all of us do here on a regular basis." Well played, sir! :)
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  My CF has all those boxes checked besides flaking. @Subra-those ATF's never flaked and always responded to your texts in a timely fashion?
• shailynn

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  7 years ago

  Clackport, please go make another shitty song and stay out of stripclubs.
• gunrack

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  7 years ago

  If your not referring to navigation what the heck is GPS ?
• gunrack

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  7 years ago

  Beauty/Personality is really in the eye of the beholder. There is no such thing as the 'perfect stripper' like there is no such things as the 'perfect customer'. Once girl who is a 10 to you is an 8 to me, etc.
• Subraman

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  7 years ago

  -->"@Subra-those ATF's never flaked and always responded to your texts in a timely fashion?" I'm not sure ANY stripper can do that. This is "dream stripper", not "alternate universe in an alternate reality stripper" :) But, to be more serious: the "hottest girl I've ever seen in a strip club" ATF was also one of the most reliable; she never flaked on me, as far as I remember, and was as responsive in texting as I could reasonably ever expect, given that she was an attractive young woman with an active social life. gunrack: GPS = golden pussy syndrome
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  My "perfect" stripper at least visually depending on my type preference for the evening can NEVER be found during prime time evening. Those times are when less than attractive women congregate (ime). Then there's the added bonus of better mileage during my preferred time. So my perfect stripper just needs to speak GOOD American English and she's a 10!
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  Js69 idea of a perfect 10 is a girl graduating right out of hs and no boyfriend who loves weed and fat guys lol
• JohnSmith69

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  7 years ago

  All true Esta. But she also needs to be a redhead or a blond, have large natural breasts, and not fuck everything that moves.
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  ^theres a good chance if she will fuck you, she will fuck anything that moves.
• rockstar666

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  7 years ago

  larry: My ATF was a solid 8 for looks; it wasn't a 'perfect' relationship but it lasted 5 years, and we parted good friends. My CF is only a 7-8 but sexually she's superior as she likes men better than women. She likes men A LOT! LOL I agree that the 9's and unicorns (10's) are generally bad OTC dates. ITC they can be good though; but usually not.
• shailynn

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  7 years ago

  "Js69 idea of a perfect 10 is a girl graduating right out of hs and no boyfriend who loves weed and fat guys lol" I can confirm JS69 is not fat.
• Estafador

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  7 years ago

  @Shailyn is that so. Honestly I have this image in my head that most of you old guys are fat, white and bald(ing). I blame you guys for the amount of times you people self-depricate yourselves
• ATACdawg

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  7 years ago

  Both my retired ATF and my CF are 9+ and both fit my concept of the perfect dancer. There is very little to choose between them. CF is younger and never married at 27. ATF was 46 when she hung them up and scores points for longevity. My CF could easily become my ATF. Neither of them is afflicted by GPS. Both took/take care of business. Both are very affectionate with me, or at least they fake it convincingly!
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  @gunrack- that is why I said in your opinion as far as looks.
• TeoTommy

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  7 years ago

  Yes
• chessmaster

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  7 years ago

  to answer your question, yes. I don't do extras or otc so basically my perfect stripper is my 9 or 10 that gives high mileage inexpensive laps. there have been at least 4 strippers that fit that description. that said, I don't believe in "perfect".
• sharkhunter

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  7 years ago

  In years past, My favorites were often the hottest dancers in the club. I didn't go out or hook up with most of the dancers I met. I even tried to avoid ever doing it again and succeeded for years but I forgot why after an unexpected sucking I received. I still don't remember the dancer from years earlier but she claimed she knew me from many years prior. Maybe the reason was she never danced for me because she did tell me the first time she ever saw me was when I left a strip club and she was outside waiting on a friend and she was too young to work at 16. I was amazed she remembered the first time she ever saw me. I wouldn't even recognize some of my own nephews and nieces if I didn't see pics on Facebook. The dancers who seemed so into me that they were trying hard to hook up with me were not usually the same hottest girls in the strip club. The hottest dancers usually just wanted to dance for me or so I thought. This was years ago. Now that I'm older, I have noticed not all the hottest dancers have been trying to get dances from me. They are very busy though. Clubs are crowded on the weekend where I live. I remember in 2008 during the middle of the Great Recession, some clubs were more deserted on a Saturday night than a small club is today during the day shift.
• georgmicrodong

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  7 years ago

  Your first paragraph is just flat wrong. Both my ATF and the MILF were the hottest girls on their shift but also, while not the absolute hottest girls in their respective clubs, were definitely in the top 10% of all the girls I've seen there.
• georgmicrodong

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  7 years ago

  Fat fingers hit post too soon. I've seen this notion that the hottest girls in the club are "unobtainable" or not worth the hassle floated on TUSCL fairly often, and in my opinion, it's complete and utter nonsense. *Sometimes* harder to get with, because they value themselves more highly than the cracked out ones, but seldom unobtainable to someone of reasonable means and patience, but IME the incidence of flakiness, bitchiness, GPS, and other disorders is no greater among the hot ones than it is among the fuglies.
• larryfisherman

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  7 years ago

  "I don't do extras or otc" I used to be like that till I was tired of having blue balls. Yeah microdong I go for the hottest girls, but I have heard from many TUSCLers that they skip the hottest ones.
• joewebber

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  7 years ago

  yeah. me neither.
• s88

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  7 years ago

  Yes. A 9 or 10 that doesnt know her worth is 19-21 year old sugarbaby on her first night being a stripper. She doesnt know how to hustle, con, and play fantasy yet as a stripper because if she did any of that to her SD shes isnt getting her donation.
• Rod8432

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  7 years ago

  Somewhat related, the FKKs in Germany are jammed with attractive women, but as with anywhere, the best ones are in high demand and can be prima donnas. But, lightening does sometimes strike -There was this one East German babe named Cindy at Sharks in Frankfurt who walked up to me while I lounged poolside. She was oiled up, ripped from obvious gym time, tattoo-free, naturally-breasted, tanned, tall, blond, and gorgeous. Her actual words in sweet accented English were, "Would you like to have sex with me?" An hour, much oil, and $120 later, I knew I just experienced my TGTBT 10. The search was, and is, worth it.
• rl27

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  7 years ago

  I have found a perfect stripper a few times over the years. One of the first was a very hot brunette, DD implants, tight dancer body, who for several years tried to become a feature dancer. She entered a lot of stripper competitions and appeared in several lower tier porn magazines, but never broke into feature dancing despite how hard she tried. Another was blonde, damn close to a perfect ten, with an incredibly tight body, natural C cup breasts, later got implants. She came off very aloof and cold on stage, so I avoided getting dances from her for several months. One day I decided to try her and soon wondered why I never tried her before. Very good contact, with lots of kissing. At one point she starts talking about how some of the dancers give private shows outside the club and asked if I went for private shows, I answered sometimes, if the dancer is right. Then she continues on how much of a rip off the half hour dances are and how for that price you should get at least and hour and doing a lot more than dancing. I agreed and she hands me her number. She danced for a few months then quit. Had a lot of fun for those few months.
• sharkhunter

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  7 years ago

  I just reread the last part of this thread and suddenly remembered a very hot dancer that seemed to be into me more than normal. I didn't live in the same city so I never pursued checking out the gym she mentioned. Eventually I forgot about her mentioning a gym. Almost. I think I spotted her on a recent visit but wasn't sure if it was her before I got distracted.