Maiden in Distress vs Spoiled Princess

Subraman
Car key and wallet dating your sister
There's a pattern many strippers use with their regulars ... they go from crisis to crisis, "I'm going to get kicked out of my apartment if you don't give me $400", "My car broke down and if you don't send me $300 I won't be able to get it fixed and I'll get fired", etc. You can see extreme versions of this in gawker's reports, and MrDeuce has a doozy over in Articles right now. But I imagine all of us who have been doing this for some time have gotten the stripper going from crisis to crisis, asking for money each time. Like most of you, I've fallen for this -- once. It definitely triggers your white knight, "she's in trouble and of all the people she could call, she's calling ME" instincts. Eventually, you realize there's nothing you could really do to help her, plus most of the things she wanted money for were lies anyway. So these days, I'm completely immune to this -- actually, "immune" doesn't do justice to it... if I even remotely sniff this type of behavior, I kick her to the curb and move on, I have no time or money or sympathy to deal with such nonsense.

Which brings me to the point of this. I'm currently playing with a stripper who is setting up her brand (as it were) as spoiled princess. She does not ever call me and ask for $100 for her rent, but she does ask me if I'll pay for her pedi, or she feels like eating steak tonight and would I buy it for her, etc. The context is NOT "I'm helpless, please save me", but "I deserve to be spoiled, I'm your princess". So, here's the admission -- it's totally working on me. We use Venmo to send money, so it's effortless. I will tell you: the girl regularly underpromises and overdelivers -- words cannot do justice to how much joy she's brought to me, and little Subra is unbelievable fond of her as well. She'd be a bargain if she charged me double what she charges me, and there are huge swatches of time that I don't pay her for at all. So I don't want you guys worried that I'm overpaying -- I promise you, even with these little gifts, I feel like I"m the one getting the bargain.

But that's not the point I'm making. The point is, girls who try the white knight hustle on me get the boot immediately; but I'm actually enjoying the spoiled princess hustle. And I love it that she always tells the truth about what the money is going to. She asks me for a mani/pedi, and her nails and toes end up on instagram, and sometimes she even facetimes me from the nail salon. She asks me to buy her dinner, and she and her friends show up on snapchat eating dinner an hour later. She wants some cute lingerie, and I get private pics of her in that lingerie. That may be one of the things I like about it: she tells me the truth about what I'm paying for. Perhaps I'm going through a juvenile phase, because I'm also enjoying her princess-y, I-dont-need-you-but-you-should-spoil-me vibe, much more than the "I keep fucking up my life, and will lie to you to get money" vibe from most strippers

Comments, criticisms, rotten tomatoes thrown from the peanut gallery, all gratefully accepted

26 comments

Latest

  • ime
    •
    8 years ago
    If you are happy with the arrangement keep it going. If things change re-evauluate then go from there.

  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^^ No doubt. Like I said, this is working for me, big time, and again, I feel like I'm the one getting the amazing deal. I'm just a little surprised at myself, how I'm amused and enjoy her game.
  • JamesSD
    •
    8 years ago
    Sounds like you're happy with the service for the price.

    It also sounds like you two have figured out a shell game to make the arrangement feel less like prostitution .
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    Yeah, it's definitely arrangement-ish in that aspect
  • goosman
    •
    8 years ago
    This is one of those things that because I very purposefully stay out of the extras game, I don't have to deal with. I can't imagine being anyone's sugar daddy, but I particularly couldn't imagine paying out some rent money, so that I could get some really good dances next time. But once you start paying for pussy anything goes.

    For what its worth though, there are a lot of women who aren't strippers who pull the same game though.
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    As long as you are having fun, fuck any one's opinion .but your own.

    the problem I see with a princess is they do expect the knight in shining armor to battle to the death when she gets herself in trouble.
  • Imamutt
    •
    8 years ago
    I completely understand the fact that it appeals more to a relationship status rather than a pushy bogus charity! What I don't get is, are you taking her out to drinks and dinner as well or is your OTC time all in private? i like to have the total experience, shopping, dinner, movie, the whole buildup of enjoying just spending time together.
    BTW, I've been scarce since going exclusively OTC, and it has been great!
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    goosman-->"This is one of those things that because I very purposefully stay out of the extras game, I don't have to deal with."

    Goos, totally understand, what's right for me won't necessarily be what's right for you. That said, just to be crystal clear, this isn't something I'm "dealing with" -- I am LOVING it. The sex is mind-blowing, the overall price is a bargain, and I'm enjoying it that our fee structure is a little less "leave the envelope on the dresser". I am not in denial about what the relationship actually is, but it's just got a nicer feel to it. If I were not so grounded, I would PREFER an obviously-transaction, "leave the envelope on the dresser" approach, since you're less apt to get confused that way.

    When I think of the phrase "dealing with", I think of gawker's and MrDeuce's stories, the ones with disastrous strippers leading disastrous lives trying to find ways to get money out of you to cover their disastrous life choices. And really, everyone else -- I figure most of us have made the mistake of being in something like this at least once, I know I have. THAT is something I was "dealing with", for sure
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    Imamutt; total experience! I try to keep away from shopping, unless it's for something for both of us (that is, lingerie), because it makes me feel a little too much like a sucker. But our time together is like most of my OTCs: eating, drinking, movies, sex, and whatever else sounds fun. And in between, there's the little requests.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    K: I haven't seen any hint of "I'm in trouble, save me", but I suppose it could come any day. Right now, it's pretty clear she wants to present herself as a together, in-control, top-of-the-foodchain desirable woman who deserves to be pampered and spoiled by those to whom she gives the pleasure of her attention, and "I can't afford my own rent" is pretty incongruous with that, which is why I'll probably be taken aback when/if it comes
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    ^^^ and that makes me realize, that's another thing I love about her. Her attitude reeks of "I'm the most desirable woman in any room I enter, and I know it, and you're lucky to be with me"... and I eat that shit up, since I"m the one she's with (obviously, if she were with someone else, pulling this attitude, I'd be like "who does that overentitled bitch think she is???", but still wanting to fuck her really bad). Again, the key here is that she's delivering in spades -- it's like she acts like she has GPS, but delivers like rent is due tomorrow and she's broke.
  • K
    •
    8 years ago
    Subraman
    I misunderstood. i thought these requests were above and beyond the compensation and weren't associated with dates.
    You are stroking her ego. Something she obviously craves. Good for the two of you that you found each other.
  • goosman
    •
    8 years ago
    @subra "it's like she acts like she has GPS, but delivers like rent is due tomorrow and she's broke."

    That sounds like a phenomenal combination.
  • timothyjames55
    •
    8 years ago
    I tried a preemptive strike on this behavior, and so far it has worked. I basically told a girl that I'm spending time with that any version of needing cash for some emergency, and that doesn't involve us hanging out at normal accustomed rates, might as well just be telling me, "adios, forever". She didn't seem to blink an eye at that statement, and agreed that she has seen others do that and doesn't roll that way. But either way, now she knows.
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    Sounds like she thinks of herself as a SB and you are treating her as such
  • Papi_Chulo
    •
    8 years ago
    As long as a PL sees it for what it is and is not being a lap-dog and is getting adequate ROI, then it's just a business decision/investment - for me personally the problem would be when to say no and not let it get beyond what I'm comfortable w/ - i.e. the dumb ones (dancers) can often think they have the PL wrapped around their finger and can lead to being taken for granted and they thinking you should never say no to them
  • stripfighter
    •
    8 years ago
    She's being straight-forward which cuts out the drama. But everyone's different and she'll do what works.
  • MrDeuce
    •
    8 years ago
    I envy your current situation, Subraman. I would much prefer the "spoiled princess" approach over my current "maiden (ha!) in distress" situation. Sadly it took me several weeks of riding to the rescue of Miss "Veritable Shit Storm of Chaos" to realize that her life will *always* be in chaos, due to poor life choices on her part, and to start saying "No!". We'll see if her gratitude level, which has remained high for a long time, will continue now that the cash flow has stopped. She's supposed to drive to my town soon to spend the night with me.

    I admire the chutzpah of your girl for requesting money for things like a mani/pedi or a steak dinner rather than today's motel charge or food for her [allegedly] starving kids, the kind of thing I've been paying. You've found a treasure, Subra!
  • Jascoi
    •
    8 years ago
    i'm in 3k to a girl presently.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    MrDeuce: yes, having had the Maiden in Distress relationship before, I can tell you Spoiled Princess is way way better! She's an honest brat ("I'm hot, and you better spoil me") instead of maliciously manipulative, and she over-delivers sexually. But even if I were only so-so on the value aspect, just the honesty -- as you alluded to, "can I go out with my girlfriends for seafood?" rather than "I haven't eaten since yesterday, can you send me money?" -- is refreshing, even if it's the same $50 (or whatever) either way.
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    stripfighter-->"She's being straight-forward which cuts out the drama. But everyone's different and she'll do what works. "

    Exactly. And I, evidently, have a soft spot for the spoiled princess hustle, even though I kick any girl with a white knight hustle to the curb. Weird. I'll have to discuss this with my therapist.

    Papi-->"As long as a PL sees it for what it is and is not being a lap-dog and is getting adequate ROI, then it's just a business decision/investment"

    Exactly. The ROI is incredible... if it were just average, I'd be telling her to fuck off with the little between-OTC requests.
  • flagooner
    •
    8 years ago
    You're having fun and not naive. So long as you can stay rational, it sounds like a good situation.
  • georgmicrodong
    •
    8 years ago
    I don't see a damn thing wrong with this. Of course, I might be just a wee bit biased, since my current sugar baby experiment has much the same tone. :)
  • ppwh
    •
    8 years ago
    If something is working, no need to question it too much, IMO. Some of my regrets have been refusing something on principle, leading to the end of the relationship with one that I particularly liked. Of course, those principles were established in response to situations where it wasn't working.

    I'm with you on the pity hustle being a total turn-off. One of the more memorable ones for me was a dancer who said let's not even worry about any money. Let's just get together! Then two minutes later said that she badly needed $400.

    I think a big part of what makes the difference is the coercive nature of the pity hustle. It's like saying that you're a horrible person if you wouldn't help a damsel in distress. When it's something like getting nails done, you will just be seen as uninterested if you pass it up.
  • mjx01
    •
    8 years ago
    she had better be a "10" to pull off the spoiled princess approach (IMO)
  • Subraman
    •
    8 years ago
    mjx: spoiled princess works if she's hot, and she's young. It is far less charming if she's older or average, agree
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