Perfect Ending? Last Time in a Strip Club

wallanon
If the next time at a strip club was going to be your last, how would you want it to go?

39 comments

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mikeya02
8 years ago
I hypnotize the manager into opening the safe and give me all the cash
JuiceBox69
8 years ago
Blow job by three fat bitches
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
Nice question. Let's say it's not only our last club visit but our last otc too. After this we are swearing off of strippers and strip clubs.

I'd withdraw $25,000 from the bank. I'd go to the club where the DS used to work and will soon return. I'd take her and what we agree to be the 5 hottest strippers in the place to VIP. We'd go to the insanely expensive ultimate VIP room and I'd pay for the room for the rest of the night. I'd get high. The girls would get high and/or drunk. We'd have a massive orgy that starts with the whole room worshipping the body of the DS. I would come to the brink many times but no orgasm. Finally, when I could stand it no longer, I'd pay the other girls and excuse them. Then the DS and I woukd indulge one another in all of my sexual fantasies for the last time, and while I was cumming deep inside her bare and uncovered, I would tell her that I love her. Then we'd clean up, snuggle, kiss, say goodbye and I'd walk away crying.
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
Oh yeah. She gets $10 K. The other girls $2 K each. The rest goes to the club for room, food/drinks, etc including greasing the bouncers.
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
I'd do extras w/ every dancer in the club I personally found desirable (actually on a recent visit about a month ago I fucked 4 different dancers on a Saturday dayshift visit (so I had enough rnergy LOL) - 2 of them were BBBJ+fucking and 2 just fucking - it was a personal PL-carer best performance for me)
TravelingGolfer
8 years ago
Great question. Just like this: After checking out all the girls, I find the hottest one, who I'm most attracted to. I tip her on stage, she smiles, and I ask her to come join me. She sits down, we order drinks, and we hit it off. I buy a few floor dances from her and they are really hot dances. We order more drinks and decide to do a VIP session. The VIP dances are even hotter and there is a lot of great two way touching. Halfway through the VIP session, she leans in and starts kissing me.

Then, she stands up, hands me a condom, turns around, bends over, pulls down her g-string to her ankles, and leans against the wall. I stand up, pull down my shorts, put on the condom, and have her doggy style until we both O. After we ate done, she gives me back my money, and says "this one is on me". A guy can dream, right? Haha.
TravelingGolfer
8 years ago
Papi that's insane. That solidifies your first ballot TUSCL Hall of Fame entry.
JohnSmith69
8 years ago
I'm sorry if this joke is racist. I'm high and can't tell. Besides I support Donald Trump, so....

Why do Jewish men like to watch videos of lap dances backwards?

Because they love the part at the end where the dancer hands the money back.
vincemichaels
8 years ago
Hey, JS69 speaks the truth, Bernie, dear old Bernie, one of my former managers summed up his experience the same way. RIP, Bernie. What would I do? Lace the building with C4, evacuate the place and blow it to smithereens. If I can't club anymore, no one can.
JuiceBox69
8 years ago
I'm da jooo Mane
JuiceBox69
8 years ago
I'm paying no more than $150 for my three fat bitches and yes that not each but total
TravelingGolfer
8 years ago
Vince, that is some crazy shit. Haha. Please don't bring any C4 to any meetups!

JS, that might be racist, but it's funny as fuck. If Chris Rock or someone told that joke, the crowd would be in hysterics. A lot of good jokes are offensive, but I don't that one is mean spirited.
GoVikings
8 years ago
Traveling golfer yours was great
TravelingGolfer
8 years ago
Thanks. Just for that, I'm rooting for the Vikings this year.
shailynn
8 years ago
I'd bang 2 strippers in VIP, then get so drunk I get on stage in my underwear and get thrown out, but the bouncers make sure my face doesn't hit the pavement when I'm thrown out.
Timbuck12
8 years ago
Papi, that is beyond impressive. Have you ever seen the movie Van Wilder? I would imagine at the end of the day you were feeling like the bulldog did after he filled up all the pastries.
shadowcat
8 years ago
At my age, I try to treat every club visit like it might be my last. :)
chessmaster
8 years ago
I'd take the ds, the ldq, atf, cf, and a papi chulo mode all into vip together for a huge orgy.
georgebailey
8 years ago

JS I'm sorry if you really support Trump. But I'm not worried. He's gonna get creamed, and I don't mean in a good way. This may be the final stroke that wakes up the GOP.

Of course the joke is bigoted and anti Semitic. But the day we can make jokes like this and celebrate our differences is the day I know we'll be okay. All the PC makes me batty.
jsbach
8 years ago
Bigoted and anti-Semitic, yes. Racist, no. As Jews are not a race but a subset of Caucasians. I ascribe to the three race theory; however dated and inaccurate it might be. Not to nitpick, but wouldn't the dancer be handing the money back towards the beginning of the video?
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
LOL shadow

Nice way to put-it chessm
Papi_Chulo
8 years ago
Just in case there was any confusion, the 4 chicks I fucked were on 4 different trips to VIP during the same SC visit, not that I did all 4 hos at once in VIP
larryfisherman
8 years ago
It being my bachelor party. The four hottest strippers having their way with me in VIP.
Dominic77
8 years ago
No difference. I'd treat it like any other visit. 75/25 split between convo and dancing. Then a round of drinks, cheers, and say good bye. I did it once before, I can do it again (ca.2003). Good byes aren't forever. ;)
Jascoi
8 years ago
my last strip club visit will be when i die with a smile on my face in the arms of a stunningly beautiful dancer after she and i cum together.
georgebailey
8 years ago

JS jews aren't a subset of any race, white or otherwise. It's a religious affiliation, like being a Christian. A Christian is not a subset of the white 'race'.

And I've got better jokes.

Had a stripper retire one night and it was my best ever. I wish the expectation would reverse the day I quit the hobby. Like free dances and some perks.
Timbuck12
8 years ago
@larryfisherman: so your dream scenario is to have 4 strippers empty your wallet and max out your credit cards while providing no mileage as you lay there passed out? :).

Better change that fantasy to YOU having YOUR way with them.....
larryfisherman
8 years ago
@Timbuck12- I'm their sex slave lol.
flagooner
8 years ago
@larryfisherman

If it is your bachelor party, it means you are getting married. Why would you get married if you want 4 strippers to have their way with you?
TxVegas
8 years ago
I find two perfect 10s dancing in the club. One is the blonde typical stripper (5'8" 120 lbs, fake C cups, thin flat waist, beautiful face). The second is a smoking hot asian girl (5'6" 115 lbs, natural C cup, beutiful face).

They come and sit down with me and tell me its their first day at this club. They are lovers and are very horny. Neither has been with a man for several months and they made a pact that they would start their strip careers with a threesome.

We agree that I would be a perfect start to their new lives. They tell me that this one will be free because they are fullfilling their own fantasy. We proceed to spend two hours in the VIP room (Detroit rules) and we all take turns pleasuring one another. They each insist that they swallow me at least once. I... (Crap, I just woke up)
san_jose_guy
8 years ago
Strip clubs offer a sexual aesthetic. Men are the same outside strip clubs as they are inside. It is the women who behave differently. So the benefit of strip clubs is that you can find some way to recreate that aesthetic outside the club.

SJG
jsbach
8 years ago
@georgebailey: I understand it's also a religion and practiced by people of all races around the world, but there are many Jews who are completely secular, don't practice the religion at all, and still identify as Jews ethnically and culturally. So it's not completely synonymous with only being a religion like Christianity or what have you. In particular I was referring to the ones descended "by birth" from European Jews. I could have been clearer. Still a funny joke though.
maho
8 years ago
Whoa Papi. That's pretty awesome.

I have yet to pull off a 3 pop sc visit, let alone 4, but now know it can be done. :-)
aks451
8 years ago
If I could find a place with a petite yet busty young blonde stripper that offers nude bed dances, and it all ended in sex, I'd be happy to hang it up after that. I could go to my death knowing that I'd finally experience what I'd always wanted.

Ideally, I'd hear every song I like to hear in strip clubs.

Little Darlings in Vegas had nude bed dances, and a long time ago they had the right dancers, and that was great, but I at least didn't get to go all the way.
Jascoi
8 years ago
lots of cameras at little darlings lv. i never had a bj or fs there. butt i did have some fun there. in retrospect it is way to expensive for what you get.
rogertex
8 years ago
Good question.

I've really enjoy strip clubs. It feels I'm dead and landed in heaven surrounded by fairies.

Absolute last visit I'd do this:
At 2AM I'd give Manager $5000 and have the club close to public and carry on as a "private party". Who ever wants to be in this private party pays $100. Each dancer that stays for the private party will make $500.
All else leave.

My experience tells me - the one's who'll stay are the "wild" girls and "mild" guys.
Jimi hendrix, Rolling Stones, Santana, Clapton, Doors. Even Iron Butterfly (the epic 30 minute gada di vida).
Open bar. Big-ass bongs.
DJ doesn't know where his pants are flyin. Bartender offers one shot and gulps one. tits ... ass ... pussy - so much to taste n so lil time.
... in fact the only sober and attentive guy is the manager - and he's making sure each guy gets laid at least by 3 beautiful girls.
Breakfast tacos served at sunrise
georgebailey
8 years ago
JS, disagree.

A priest and a rabbi are walking together down the street. The priest spots an 8 year old boy on the other side walking in their direction.

The priest whispers to the rabbi, "hey wanna fuck him?".

The rabbi says, "outta what?" .
jsbach
8 years ago
^^^ LOL
But seriously, how do you explain the Jews that are atheists, but still consider themselves Jewish? It seems to me there aren't a lot of, oh say, Baptists who lose their faith, become agnostic or atheist, and still go around claiming to be Baptist. It would be unusual.
georgebailey
8 years ago
Some Jews live secular lives and identify with their religious culture and holidays.
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