The hardest thing I've ever done in a stripper relationship

Duh

"But it was paid. It wasn't real."
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Double Duh

And you did this because the DC is becoming more serious than you'd initially supposed it might?

What happens when this one ends?

That's the best way. Glad to read that it is working out with the DC.

Well this has gone in a most unexpected way. The role reversal is astounding. The DS is blowing up my phone with pissed off texts demanding to see me. Apparently she was quite attached to my money. I really didn't expect this. I considered treating her like strippers treat us and just ignoring her but I can't do that to her. So i've tried to calm her down. It's so unusual to see a stripper acting like a PL.

GMD, yes that's why. If this ends, I don't know what's next. I take life one day at a time.

Hmmm. I'm not fond of break up texts. I know they are convenient (same with telephone calls). I always prefer F2F, but I understand that's not always possible or ideal.

I've seen this kind of thing play out in other online forums. These are middle-aged guys who have trouble separating love from lust from paying for sex. Usually they wise-up before divorcing their wife.

In any event, half of the original post here consists of things I posted about a year ago. If @Smith's midlife crisis is over, the board will be far less entertaining.

JS69, this must have been unimaginably difficult for you. It was obvious that you had strong feelings for the DS and it speaks well for you that you're gently and voluntarily letting her go. I do think it's best to give up the multiple stripper girlfriends and concentrate on this one woman who's close to you in age.

The role reversal between you and the DS is very interesting. Who knew that a money-grubbing [ex-]stripper would morph into a PL?

Best of luck, John, and keep us posted on further developments.

JS69 what's gonna happen if the DC relationship doesn't work out? You'll probably go back to the DS.

Just ignore the DS's texts. When you're ready to start giving her money again, she'll welcome you back with open arms!

Thanks for sharing this. Great that you found a fantastic civie. Maybe. Just maybe, the DS is sad because she grew attached to you and not just your money. After all, you two have been on some amazing adventures together. Perhaps you are not fully understanding the depth of her sincere feelings for you. Break up over txt? Sounds kind of cold man.

Congrats JS. Best wishes man. Maybe tell the DS it's possibly just temporary, so you leave that door open. Anyway, glad the civie relationship is going well. The strippers will always be there, if you ever need them again at some point. It is funny and ironic that the DS is flipping out, considering that she's ghosted you in the past.

John, if it's true, I'm gonna miss you know who :-(

I wish you the best, sometimes you find what you are looking for when you're not even looking for it.

My only question is how old is your DC, I'm afraid if she is more than 10 years younger I don't think I could call it much better than a DS relationship. I found its women around your same age that you have some life experiences that are similar that provide the most enjoyment out of life.

Glad I saw the pictures before this happened. Good luck in this new adventure.

Lone Wolf maybe you're right. Breaking up by text may be cruel but this is not a breakup. She's a prostitute. Still she is treating it like something else.

And the DC is around my age.

Easy to fall in love with a stripper? You actually love someone who sees you as a wallet? Have some self respect and learn what the damn word means.

Sounds like you have some good leverage for negotiating with DS. I say keep her as your Plan B.

Hey, life is all about making adjustments and being flexible rather than getting stuck in the same ole same ole and not looking forward to something different and/or better.

Yeah - strippers are a great way to artificially fill the void and it's often better to fill that void at least artificially than not fill it at all - but "there's nothing like the real thing baby".

But if we are honest and see it from their POV; yeah they want us for our $$$ but if we are honest most of us just want them for their body or at the very least for our personal purposes - i.e. whether consciously or subconsciously we use them for our needs and they use us for their needs; i.e. in all honesty we use them as much as they use us - in the end they don't intend for us to be the end-all-be-all and the most important thing in their lives and we don't intend for them to be the end-all-be-all and the most important thing in our lives - we're together as long as we are getting what we need out of each other but it's not a long term commitment w.r.t. either party.

Being that you are able to do so; I would help her out financially for a bit instead of cutting her off cold-turkey (probably why she freaked out since she is probably living day-to-day) - I'd help her out for a bit letting her know full-well it's only temporary while she makes other arrangement$ - although yeah there is a great chance the more you help her the more she'll want you to help her.

w.r.t. a "Dear Ds ..." text - it was not a "real relationship" thus one does not have to go thru the "real way" of breaking-up - they disappear on us all the time w/o even a text or a text response - IMO she's not "hurt" just probably frantic at being cut-off cold-turkey - so the text IMO didn't really "hurt her feelings" more than freak her out at being cut-off, IMO.

YOLO - you gotta do what makes you happy - your decision does not mean you can never go back to DS's nor banging strippers (they will always be glad to take your $$$ as long as they are in the game; and sometimes even when they are no longer in the game) - you date the DC and let things run their course and make adjustments along the way.

You have been heavy into strippers and like any habit it's not easy to just quit cold-turkey but IMO often times the hardest thing is quitting and often times it get easier as time goes by.

It is a paid fantasy but good Fukg w hot young girls. Current one also FB friend so I c who she doing around her age for free - just deal w it.

We are all payers - married man pays most. Don't be PL and think they in love w u - it's all about the money. I like doing the married ones too. Is sorts thrilling sneaking in back door some guys girl.

Each time skibum posts I get further insights into why so many people can't stand lawyers.

Even if she is only there for the money, she is still human. The sting of being cut from the team could be as much of a factor as the income hit. Being someone's dream is a high of its own.

I think you're doing the right thing to calm her down and show some compassion.

John, as I knew, you were someone who did lots of business traveling. That lends itself to having lots of women.

Correct?

SJG

Send her some dick pics occasionally to wean her off

^be sure to take them next to an iPhone 6. ;)

it's better "optics" if you use an iPhone-4

JS, you might want to change your phone number(s) to avoid the possibility of getting a call at an inopportune moment! Just a suggestion...

John,

Break up over a text is kind of cruel for her and cowardly for you. F2F is better. That way she can respond and you can accurately gauge her body language and other non-verbal cues.

Maybe she "really does" have sincere feelings for you? Or maybe it's the loss of income. In-person can help sort that out. Maybe I'm new at the whole stripper thing, but so far, their body language does betray them / convey what they are *really* saying. IME.

John, just wait for Nina to post and give you guidance

I'll miss your narratives on your S experiences, but drive on John. You got a DC that's into you, and not your wallet.

I don't understand the idea that because you pay it can't be real
She may genuinely like you. She may enjoy your company. She may enjoy the sex. She may have genuine feelings for you and your relationship. I am sure she likes the money as well but that does not make it a fake relationship .

JS - glad things are working out with your DC. I hope things work out just as well for me. But if I start dating someone, you won't see me clubbing unless that is something she wants to do.

For those that say him cutting her off over text is cruel. My opinion is this is a p4p relationship and he doesn't owe her a F2F. Would it be nice? Sure, but she just stopped calling him when she got a bf. Anyone here who has done otc with a dancer had been ghosted. I don't think he was wrong to do it by text and I don't know what a F2F accomplished in this circumstance.

In a regular relationship I think it's cruel. I've been broken up with over email and text. It's their way of avoiding having to face questions. They can just not reply to the texts or email. If she is upset over the loss of income, that is her mistake for laying ask her eggs in one basket. If she has feelings for him, that is her mistake for not making him aware.

I for one think it's funny as shit and ironic that the DS is freaking out and acting like one of us. Keep us posted on that. And I'm pretty sure most of us know it's not real with strippers. If you have found a DC more power to you. That would be difficult for in particular for me because I usually not attracted to women my age.

And it was not at all cruel to break up with the DS over text in my opinion. These younger folks these days communicate more over text than anything else anyway. And like some have said it's a p4p not a real relationship

One of the things about the organization which I am building is that it encourages full polygamy. So one would never need to cut one of our women off, or vice versa.

John, you been married, you've been a stripper monger, now your going to monogamy again. I still say that the real solution to the dilemmas is not in any of these modes.

SJG

Until @Smith changes his goofy avatar, I'm taking all this with a grain of salt.

I'm sure spending 50,000 a year on an immature girl would get old

So when will you pass along the names, clubs worked at and digits of these free agent DSs? There's plenty of us willing to pick up the slack!

Thats a good idea grand..LOL I want DS2's number she was always my favorite of john's girls:)

In your dreams. John is never going to give up these girls' identities. If you want a young hottie, go out and find some yourselves.

SJG

"Even if she is only there for the money, she is still human. The sting of being cut from the team could be as much of a factor as the income hit. Being someone's dream is a high of its own."

Agree with ppwh. How you handle the breakup isn't as much about who/what she is so as much about who/what you are.

She's still human and being her, is unlikely to understand the complexity of her current emotion. Not only is it from loss of income, but also change and sudden instability, and a host of other things. If she meant as much to you as you say, I'd give her more respect than a breakup text. Even if the relationship wasn't "real" the emotions were.

And good luck w the DC. I think that's something that many of us want, even if we say we don't believe in it.

I agree with this completely, "How you handle the breakup isn't as much about who/what she is so as much about who/what you are. "

I think all of the people here are failing to see these women a full human beings. And then this goes even more so for failing marriages and divorce.

I knew that if I was to end my marriage, that I had to do it in a way I could live with. Once it was over, all I would have would be how I had handled the break up. And so this meant that I had to continue to hold out the olive branch.

SJG

Along the lines of what rh48 mentioned; anyway he would have told her (face to face; flying an airplane banner) would have not made a difference - she is probably flipping out at the loss of income and probably would have gone ballistic in a face-to-face meeting - so in actuality he may have gone about it the best way - we often don't know the true-colors of many of these chicks and how they can react or how they really are.

John, you should have done a survey here first on how to handle DS I

I would not have sent her a break up text. That stings and I don't think it was necessary.

Unless you want to be completely out of this hobby, which you don't, I would just keep her around and see her at your convenience. She means something to you. I mean you just come back from a vacation with her! It's not like you're married to the DC. Hell, there's even guys here who are married and cheating on their wives.

I suggested keeping DS I, ghosting the others and quitting the strip clubs.

This board is going to be boring without the DS stories. What's going to happen with the book?

In the organization I am building, polygamy is built in. So when you come to the club house / temple, you will see lots of dolled up hotties. Probably you have fucked most of them before. All except maybe some rotated in from other cities, or new ones. So you just pick. If you don't move fast enough, they'll move on you.

So you don't ever have to cut any of them off, nor they you.

And if you especially like one and she likes you, you can arrange it so that you each tend to stay based in the same city together.

You can even opt for Mystical Marriage. Basically what this amounts to is about 2 weeks of spiritual exercises and non-stop fucking each other. Starts when her aunt flow leaves. You pretty much stay shacked up and have minimum contact with any other people.

Then at the end of the 2 weeks. you appear before a cleric who acknowledges that you and she are married for all time, from the beginning of time until the end, for eternity, and that it is whole and complete from that moment. But that is it. Basically the honeymoon is the marriage, The ceremony is the culmination, not the beginning.

You and she can continue to see each other, but it is understood that you are still each supposed to be fucking other people, in particular helping to initiate the new people.

So my point is, the kind of situation JS69 is experiencing, the fork in the road, would never exist. It is something we have created by monogamy.

SJG

Good for you John, glad to see you got your balls back. No need to apologize or ask anybody here how you should have handled the break-up, you did just fine. Like you said she was a prostitute she'll get over it and if she doesn't you did enough for her. Good luck man.

Bavarian, I did post and ask what people would do with their strippers if they found a genuine Dream Civie. As I recall, the significant majority claimed that they would drop their strippers and go with the DC. And keeping the DS as an occasional play thing wouldn't work. After all that we've done together there's just no way that such a radical change would be feasible.

Interesting number of responses to this post. Guess it touches a nerve for us all who have developed close relationships with paid companions. Enjoy your journey. If you change your mind, I'm sure your DS's will be there for you!

I can't believe what I just read. That's awesome though that now you'll probably be spending less and still having decent fun with your DC. And as you said still go to the SC...best of both worlds.

Don't forget a prenup. :)

be careful you don't knock her up - can happen at a late age

I believe you guys about texting being appropriate for p4p business relationship, especially with a young adult (they text everything anyways). Interesting role reversal, that's for sure!

Good luck with the new DC! She sounds like a catch. :)

Good for you.

Perversely enough, she probably will start dancing again soon to fish for a new whale.

Hang in there. Time heals all wounds. I am going through the same thing.
I don't want too. But, I have to give up a favorite myself. It sucks. But,
life just sucks sometimes.

Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice. Shadowcat your insightful advice is especially appropriate. And by the way, you are all invited to the wedding later this summer.

She has stopped responding to me, and I'm sad that it ended badly. I know she'll come running back to the money if I offer it again, but I saw things going differently. Still, I have treated her a lot better than she treated me when she wanted it to end.

So you finally believe a great relationship can be had with a DC? good deal

Seaboard, you're right. I have found the almost perfect non-stripper companion that you always talk about. I'm sorry that I sometimes suggested that such a woman could not exist. I was wrong.

How often would you see DS I? Once a month?
Would you initiate contact to arrange an OTC or would she text you first to arrange a meet up?

You could have simply stopped texting her. Eventually she would have texted you when she needed more money and to find out why you're so quiet. You would then have said you found a girlfriend. I think she would have understood the situation and wished you well.

Great for you John. I have a couple OTC relationships going myself and keep an open mind that they might be able to develop into more. But at the same time they are P4P even though they are much better than most P4P. If they never develop into anything more real, then one day I hope to find someone real who can replace them and then they would have to go by the wayside as the fantasy can only last if there is nothing better to replace it. Having said that I am excited to be taking one of my honeys to Florida on vacation next week for surf, sand, sun, and yes ... plenty of sex.

John, good for you and good luck with the DC.

Personally I think it was tough on her to get a text like that, but I'm old fashioned enough to think that way. I've had dozens of girls/strippers just stop responding and I always wonder what happened to them. At least you told her and there was no confusion. And you had one last trip with her a few weeks ago too.

About the only thing I can think of you might have done differently is to have taken her shooting and told her face to face! If nothing else it would have provided some excitement to the ending.