The hardest thing I've ever done in a stripper relationship
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
In view of the fact that i've found a DC i've been ending my OTC relationships with strippers. Video girl, free girl, and ginger bread were the first to go. They were easy. I was never too attached to them. DS III was a lot harder but she had to go so I did it. She wood have given me an std eventually so it's just as well.
But today's was a 1000 times harder than the others. Today, I sent the original DS a text telling her that I can't see her any more. I agonized over that message for several days but in the end it was clearly the right thing to do.
I've learned something through all of this. I already knew this to be true of course but it's easy to forget. We all need to be reminded of this sometimes.
It's easy to fall in love with a strippers. Especially a DS. Cause she was perfect. Or nearly so. Only one thing was missing. It wasn't real. It was the most amazing fantasy imaginable. But it was paid. It wasn't real.
So call me captain obvious but what I was reminded of is this. Strippers are great fun, but they can never substitute for the real thing. They may give us their bodies completely, and they can perform every sexual act imaginable, but they only do it for money. They can't compare to a woman who does all of those same things out of love.
I'll miss the DS more than words can express. She got me through a very hard part of my life, and i'll always have wonderful memories of her. But it was time to let her go. Cause it wasn't real.
So this stage of the soap opera ends. I'll still visit strip clubs. I'll still get lap dances. I'll still be on tuscl But for now at least i'm done with the girlfriend experiences with strippers.
You can go back to worrying that donald trump might blow up the world now.
But today's was a 1000 times harder than the others. Today, I sent the original DS a text telling her that I can't see her any more. I agonized over that message for several days but in the end it was clearly the right thing to do.
I've learned something through all of this. I already knew this to be true of course but it's easy to forget. We all need to be reminded of this sometimes.
It's easy to fall in love with a strippers. Especially a DS. Cause she was perfect. Or nearly so. Only one thing was missing. It wasn't real. It was the most amazing fantasy imaginable. But it was paid. It wasn't real.
So call me captain obvious but what I was reminded of is this. Strippers are great fun, but they can never substitute for the real thing. They may give us their bodies completely, and they can perform every sexual act imaginable, but they only do it for money. They can't compare to a woman who does all of those same things out of love.
I'll miss the DS more than words can express. She got me through a very hard part of my life, and i'll always have wonderful memories of her. But it was time to let her go. Cause it wasn't real.
So this stage of the soap opera ends. I'll still visit strip clubs. I'll still get lap dances. I'll still be on tuscl But for now at least i'm done with the girlfriend experiences with strippers.
You can go back to worrying that donald trump might blow up the world now.
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62 comments
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Double Duh
What happens when this one ends?
GMD, yes that's why. If this ends, I don't know what's next. I take life one day at a time.
In any event, half of the original post here consists of things I posted about a year ago. If @Smith's midlife crisis is over, the board will be far less entertaining.
The role reversal between you and the DS is very interesting. Who knew that a money-grubbing [ex-]stripper would morph into a PL?
Best of luck, John, and keep us posted on further developments.
Just ignore the DS's texts. When you're ready to start giving her money again, she'll welcome you back with open arms!
My only question is how old is your DC, I'm afraid if she is more than 10 years younger I don't think I could call it much better than a DS relationship. I found its women around your same age that you have some life experiences that are similar that provide the most enjoyment out of life.
And the DC is around my age.
Yeah - strippers are a great way to artificially fill the void and it's often better to fill that void at least artificially than not fill it at all - but "there's nothing like the real thing baby".
But if we are honest and see it from their POV; yeah they want us for our $$$ but if we are honest most of us just want them for their body or at the very least for our personal purposes - i.e. whether consciously or subconsciously we use them for our needs and they use us for their needs; i.e. in all honesty we use them as much as they use us - in the end they don't intend for us to be the end-all-be-all and the most important thing in their lives and we don't intend for them to be the end-all-be-all and the most important thing in our lives - we're together as long as we are getting what we need out of each other but it's not a long term commitment w.r.t. either party.
Being that you are able to do so; I would help her out financially for a bit instead of cutting her off cold-turkey (probably why she freaked out since she is probably living day-to-day) - I'd help her out for a bit letting her know full-well it's only temporary while she makes other arrangement$ - although yeah there is a great chance the more you help her the more she'll want you to help her.
w.r.t. a "Dear Ds ..." text - it was not a "real relationship" thus one does not have to go thru the "real way" of breaking-up - they disappear on us all the time w/o even a text or a text response - IMO she's not "hurt" just probably frantic at being cut-off cold-turkey - so the text IMO didn't really "hurt her feelings" more than freak her out at being cut-off, IMO.
You have been heavy into strippers and like any habit it's not easy to just quit cold-turkey but IMO often times the hardest thing is quitting and often times it get easier as time goes by.
We are all payers - married man pays most. Don't be PL and think they in love w u - it's all about the money. I like doing the married ones too. Is sorts thrilling sneaking in back door some guys girl.
I think you're doing the right thing to calm her down and show some compassion.
Correct?
SJG
Break up over a text is kind of cruel for her and cowardly for you. F2F is better. That way she can respond and you can accurately gauge her body language and other non-verbal cues.
Maybe she "really does" have sincere feelings for you? Or maybe it's the loss of income. In-person can help sort that out. Maybe I'm new at the whole stripper thing, but so far, their body language does betray them / convey what they are *really* saying. IME.
She may genuinely like you. She may enjoy your company. She may enjoy the sex. She may have genuine feelings for you and your relationship. I am sure she likes the money as well but that does not make it a fake relationship .
For those that say him cutting her off over text is cruel. My opinion is this is a p4p relationship and he doesn't owe her a F2F. Would it be nice? Sure, but she just stopped calling him when she got a bf. Anyone here who has done otc with a dancer had been ghosted. I don't think he was wrong to do it by text and I don't know what a F2F accomplished in this circumstance.
In a regular relationship I think it's cruel. I've been broken up with over email and text. It's their way of avoiding having to face questions. They can just not reply to the texts or email. If she is upset over the loss of income, that is her mistake for laying ask her eggs in one basket. If she has feelings for him, that is her mistake for not making him aware.
John, you been married, you've been a stripper monger, now your going to monogamy again. I still say that the real solution to the dilemmas is not in any of these modes.
SJG
SJG
Agree with ppwh. How you handle the breakup isn't as much about who/what she is so as much about who/what you are.
She's still human and being her, is unlikely to understand the complexity of her current emotion. Not only is it from loss of income, but also change and sudden instability, and a host of other things. If she meant as much to you as you say, I'd give her more respect than a breakup text. Even if the relationship wasn't "real" the emotions were.
I think all of the people here are failing to see these women a full human beings. And then this goes even more so for failing marriages and divorce.
I knew that if I was to end my marriage, that I had to do it in a way I could live with. Once it was over, all I would have would be how I had handled the break up. And so this meant that I had to continue to hold out the olive branch.
SJG
I would not have sent her a break up text. That stings and I don't think it was necessary.
Unless you want to be completely out of this hobby, which you don't, I would just keep her around and see her at your convenience. She means something to you. I mean you just come back from a vacation with her! It's not like you're married to the DC. Hell, there's even guys here who are married and cheating on their wives.
I suggested keeping DS I, ghosting the others and quitting the strip clubs.
This board is going to be boring without the DS stories. What's going to happen with the book?
So you don't ever have to cut any of them off, nor they you.
And if you especially like one and she likes you, you can arrange it so that you each tend to stay based in the same city together.
You can even opt for Mystical Marriage. Basically what this amounts to is about 2 weeks of spiritual exercises and non-stop fucking each other. Starts when her aunt flow leaves. You pretty much stay shacked up and have minimum contact with any other people.
Then at the end of the 2 weeks. you appear before a cleric who acknowledges that you and she are married for all time, from the beginning of time until the end, for eternity, and that it is whole and complete from that moment. But that is it. Basically the honeymoon is the marriage, The ceremony is the culmination, not the beginning.
You and she can continue to see each other, but it is understood that you are still each supposed to be fucking other people, in particular helping to initiate the new people.
So my point is, the kind of situation JS69 is experiencing, the fork in the road, would never exist. It is something we have created by monogamy.
SJG
Good luck with the new DC! She sounds like a catch. :)
Perversely enough, she probably will start dancing again soon to fish for a new whale.
I don't want too. But, I have to give up a favorite myself. It sucks. But,
life just sucks sometimes.
Would you initiate contact to arrange an OTC or would she text you first to arrange a meet up?
You could have simply stopped texting her. Eventually she would have texted you when she needed more money and to find out why you're so quiet. You would then have said you found a girlfriend. I think she would have understood the situation and wished you well.
Personally I think it was tough on her to get a text like that, but I'm old fashioned enough to think that way. I've had dozens of girls/strippers just stop responding and I always wonder what happened to them. At least you told her and there was no confusion. And you had one last trip with her a few weeks ago too.
About the only thing I can think of you might have done differently is to have taken her shooting and told her face to face! If nothing else it would have provided some excitement to the ending.