Can you change a man?
Shelbymoe
This is my first post so bare with me.
My boyfriend doesn't care for strip clubs. He's 11yrs older than me and says when he was younger he went a lot. We've been together over 6 years. I went to my first last year in Daytona to lollipops. And every time we go outta town we visit clubs. But it's like pulling teeth. I have to bribe him. I love going and always enjoy myself, maybe too much.
Any suggestions? Or should I give up?
I just want us both to have fun when we go out?
Comments
last commentIf he doesn't want to go then either go by yourself or with friends.
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To answer that I'd have to know why he doesn't want to go.
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You may want to ask him the specific reason as to why he doesn't want to go.
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If you will bare with me we could have fun together.
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^^^ I was going to say the same thing, but Shelby could be a guys name
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He says shit like he doesnt want to throw money away. But yet we can go to bars or casino to waste money so i dont understand it.
I think it might be I'm a little to aggressive and he's a little more of a looker. One of the clubs we stayed the longest at was cheetahs in Atlanta. But I hated it since it was so uptight. He had no problem with sitting back watching and occasionally getting up to tip.
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My guess is that he doesn't want to spend the money because he can't do what he used to do when he wasn't with you. Can he? If yes, then you have to convince him that you don't have a problem with him groping the dancers, etc.
BTW. I agree with you about Cheetah. It's been over 10 years since I went there.
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Dude I'm totally open with that. It's why I like going to the clubs I like seeing other girls with him. Being together for over 6 yrs u gotta spice it up. I've told him this. I can't tell if maybe he's just to old for it or what?
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How old is he?
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36 and I'm 25
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Huge difference between groping/tipping dancers and doing "extra" intimate things. I'm more of the latter and I would not be comfortable if my significant other were around to see what I "really" like in my strip club experience. So if I had to be with her at a strip club, it's a waste of time for me as I can't do what I really want to do, which may be his problem as well. Men and women, on average, view strip clubbing in entirely different ways.
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Shelby, if you can't bare with me (yes, bvino beat me to it!), you should at least bare your tits and post a pic where we can see it. It's kind of a rule around here. How else can we wise [mostly] men of TUSCL give you our impartial advice?
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Nice try mrdeuce.
Ww But I'm honestly open to it. I try and pay for him to get private dances. And in most cases I feel like our rolls are reversed. In Daytona me and a hot brunette went pretty far in the back. And I'd love for him to do the same so we can swap stories or even share a girl. Did I get the only monogamous man on earth?
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Your boyfriend is gay. Dump him and date a perv from TUSCL. We would all love to accommodate your strip club desires.
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Hmmm I'm going to go out on a limb and say he doesn't want to share you with anyone, even a dancer.
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Typical chick that wants to change a man after the fact. It seems that you knew he wasn't into clubs early on and still stood with him now you want to change him. Shelby, if you want to stay in the relationship maybe you should be the one to change. Either that, or live with the way things are or move on.
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He may just be uncomfortable being with you in that environment.
Consider this. How comfortable would you be watching porn with your parents in the room? I wouldn't be comfortable at all even if they are the most open and understanding parents in the world..
Maybe he feels awkward having you see how other ladies get him turned on, even if you are okay with it.
If you want to do it, you gotta talk with him and dig out the truth.
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Shaylinn I never thought of that u might be right.
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I'm with flagooner on this one. I've been to a SC with my wife before, and although I often have way too much fun at them when going by myself, I was wound up tight with her. I didn't want to get any dances, I avoided watch the stage too intent, and din't engage any of the dancers.
It was awkward and uncomfortable for me, and no matter what she said, I just couldn't into it and enjoy myself. It wasn't the club, it was her being there.
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I like tennis, my wife doesn't. I don't make her play tennis with me.
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Depends to answer your original question. Show us some titty's if you aren't a troll.
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Does that line ever work? Have any girls ever posted pics? If so links!
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get him a dance. tell him how hot it made you and you can't wait. Take him to the parking lot, blow him. Go back inside and maybe have some more dances or just enjoy the show. When you get home fuck his brains out. Pretend to be one of the dancers or tell him how you want to finger yourself when you saw the dancer on stage. Repeat this a couple of times and your problem will be solved.
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To shelbymoe more than a few even some of the trolls
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Check out anongirl and Phoenix or pole dancer95 just off the top of my head I don't have time to look it up but I'm sure you will find a coozehound here who will oblige you.
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A guys got to change himself you can't change him. He's got to decide on his own that he's into it or not :/
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Thanks for all the replies, I guess I never thought that a guy would be uncomfortable. I guess next time the subject comes up I'll pay attention better. And I'm not trying to change him. Just wanted some opinions!
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No, you can't change a guy. And it's non-brilliant to try! ;)
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Sorry guys I guess another one of my girlfriends found this site again. I really need to use a password on my computer
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Honestly didn't know you felt like this BB. Let's go to follies and gang bang some strippers K honey pie
Kisses
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Don't threaten me with a good time
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Bribe him with a bucket of extra Kris-pay chicken. See if it works it reverse
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This is my baby....girl we do need to go out and drink a few beers, eat some good chackin and really try to take a few girls back to the champagne rooms.
I love you more than ever knowing how you feel.
I've had bitches in my past find out and be discussed with me but apparently not you suger lips
We need to make love soon Bae
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Hi.
I've known guys who didn't like to waste money and it irked them to do so. Throwing money at strippers might seem like a waste of money to some. Set aside $50 in small bills and maybe enough for a lap dance and say you got this much to blow at the strip club instead of blowing it at the casino. It's entertainment money. Get him started slowly. He might start liking it.
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You can't change a man or a woman if they don't want to change.
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"He says shit like he doesnt want to throw money away. But yet we can go to bars or casino to waste money so i dont understand it. "
Respect that. I dont make it rain, and I pitty the fools that do. It just feeds strippers thoughts that they are nude bottle rats that can just slap a customer on the face if they touch the stripper. I like SCs to stay as SCs, not SCs to turn into nude nightclubs with all the estrogen parasites that dont put out.
flagooner is right about "would you be comfortable jerking off watching porn with your parents in the room looking at you stroking the monkey?"
With any woman I am intimate with, if they tell me they want to goto a SC, I'd assume it is a setup "Baby what do you think of her tits? You like big tits? baby why dont you like my small tits? you think she [stripper] is hot? you want to fuck her? why not? are you gay? aren't I hot? I knew it, you think im ugly, we are over you piece of shit"
I'd only goto a SC with a 250 lb morbidly obese female friend that I could never see myself fucking. Never with any girl I'd fuck, unless she is a sex worker already and we both are effectively swingers/FWB from day 1.
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"Being together for over 6 yrs u gotta spice it up. I've told him this"
This is your first problem. You just basically told him you're bored with the relationship and he doesn't do it for you like he did in the beginning. Are you bi? Does he like watching you with other women? Maybe that would pique his interest. Not every man has a huge libido and there are a lot of men out there who just aren't sexual.
If y'all are having sexual issues now and everything you try fails to jump start him you might need to bail and and find someone your compatible with.
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In my simple mind I think it may just be what the OP mentioned - i.e. there are plenty of guys that see SCs as throwing $$$ away particularly since SCs can often be more if not much more expensive than other forms of entertainment. - a lot of guys think spending a good amount of $$$ just to see & touch some tits is not a good investment & a waste of $$$
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