"Do you have kids?"
JamesSD
California
I hit up the club this afternoon, the talent pool was spotty. Did spot a pretty latina with fake boobs but no tattoos, and got to watch a super hot but super low mileage girl who I'm friendly with get naked on stage.
The Latina was a night girl who is picking up some day shifts over the summer to make extra cash. She's early 20s and spun a tale about her education that is plausible but I'm skeptical of. I got a good vibe from her, she was a good talker, didn't rush the sales pitch on the dances, etc.
The weirdest part was when she asked if I have kids. Like, I get that dancers sometimes want to try to figure out if you have a wife or gf. But unless she was trying to figure out if I was someone she should try to date OTC (which I seeeeeeeeriously doubt she was fishing for), it seems like a weird, very personal question. But strippers can be weird.
The actual dances were fun and good mileage, but I chose not to LDK because I didn't want to deal with the mess. I'll play with her again if she's game if my CF isn't working that day.
Do strippers often ask you guys weird, personal questions?
The Latina was a night girl who is picking up some day shifts over the summer to make extra cash. She's early 20s and spun a tale about her education that is plausible but I'm skeptical of. I got a good vibe from her, she was a good talker, didn't rush the sales pitch on the dances, etc.
The weirdest part was when she asked if I have kids. Like, I get that dancers sometimes want to try to figure out if you have a wife or gf. But unless she was trying to figure out if I was someone she should try to date OTC (which I seeeeeeeeriously doubt she was fishing for), it seems like a weird, very personal question. But strippers can be weird.
The actual dances were fun and good mileage, but I chose not to LDK because I didn't want to deal with the mess. I'll play with her again if she's game if my CF isn't working that day.
Do strippers often ask you guys weird, personal questions?
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22 comments
As for her asking about kids, it could be something as simple as making small talk. Maybe she has a kid and thought that was a common thing you two could talk about. If she's more clever, maybe she was asking if you have a kid because if you did, you may have less money to blow in the club versus a divorced or never married guy with no kids.
The strippers looking for a regular ask all sorts of personal questions.
Some clubs and dancers have more of a focus on sitting around and talking than others. The question I find annoying is on the rare occassion that they ask my age. The response is generally something like: OH WOW, YOU LOOK 25! and I think I am supposed to be overjoyed with their approval at being so young-looking. ;)
Once I was sitting with a dancer who was telling me about a conversation she just had with a guy from India. She had asked him what religion he was and he said Hindu. She asked if he ever wondered if "we were right". I don't think she sold him any dances that night.
She could have been trying to size you up in some way - some dancers may think a guy w/ kids may be more settled down & perhaps a less PITA custy (whereas a single guy may want to get w/ them, etc).
Or maybe she wants to get w/ you & was wondering about your availability (as in her not wanting to get involved w/ a guy w/ kids).
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I'm not Latin, but this is almost exactly what I was thinking. Sounds like she's into you, James.
Those who dance in strip clubs are just as interested in outside relationships as others are, and all the more so as you describe this as a low mileage club.
I had a Denny's waitress who with two of my consecutive visits to the restaurant spent the whole time of my visit standing at my table talking to me, pitching how much she wants someone she and her kids can move in with and share the rent. She was Latina.
Another Latina strip club dancer, with two kids, told me, "I'm one of the ones who got *lucky*. I'm engaged." What she was telling me was not the truth at all, but it was what she very much wanted, and wanted to make me understand. It was not a high mileage club, but she still went what distance she could for me in the collective VIP room.
Now when getting to know an AMP girl, after telling her about myself, I always ask, "So do you live here in San Jose, by yourself?"
It is an intentionally transparent attempt to detect SO's and kids.
In sex work places girls know that they should not inquire into such areas. But sometimes girls have an agenda besides just making money.
SJG
Just answer with, "Yes, and they're all older than you."
Her logic was I'm smart and educated and tall. If I honestly knew I could do it and be done with it I may have helped her out, but I knew it's the kind of thing that haunts you forever.
I was just wondering though if you veterans have canned answers to some of this stuff. Mostly, I'm wondering what pushes things along with a dancer more, or possibly is better if you're hoping a dancer will be into you. Obviously, whether or not your answers are the truth in this case isn't important.
Kids question, for example... do you think you are better off saying that you do or don't? Or maybe it doesn't matter? If you have a girlfriend or wife? Your job? etc. etc. Do you guys have answers that you think "work" better, or do you simply just go with the truth on everything?
I think it's a lot more important to understand how strip club communication works, not be emotionally reactive, and to allow the relationship to ebb and flow naturally, rewarding the things you like and not rewarding things you don't like. I.e., if she pulls back a little on a particular visit, there might be a reason for it that you can't overcome that night. If you try to do that by spending $1000, you will likely just end up broke and bitter.
The problem with the stripper PUA stuff is that it usually says to talk to a stripper without spending any money. That's usually not going to last very long unless you're there with a group of friends who are spending money and she is taking one for the team.
It's just small talk. It happens to me all the time.
And invariably, it ends with "wanna do VIP/dances?"
These women are in sales. And getting you to be more comfortable with them is a tactic to help them get you to spend money on them.
PUA = Pick Up Artist
I'm no PUA by any stretch of the imagination.
If what you mean by "a dancer will be into you" is getting a dancer interested in you in a *non* P4P sense I'd can only guess at the following:
+ be close in age - maybe 15 years age difference @ max assuming you look good
+ many playas will say not to spend $$$ on her - many will say once you spend $$$ on her she will see you purely as a custy/cash-cow
I would say in general one can pick up a dancer non P4P just as one would pick up a civvy, for the most-part - so if one has game for picking up civvies that are hot and young then it would not take a completely different type of game to pick up dancers, IMO - IMO when it comes to picking-up hot young women either you got it or you don't (and most guys don't IMO).
Sure - there is always the "chance" that you can just be yourself and you can treat a dancer nicely and w/ time she may develop feelings for you as she gets to know you, but that is no different than w/ a civvy - i.e. I don't think there is any secret or "special sauce" that works w.r.t. seducing dancers any different than seducing/picking-up civvies.
If your statement was more in the context of P4P; then other answers would apply.