Dancer/Customer Friendships

I have been genuine friends with two strippers in my lifetime but coincidentally neither of them I paid to fuck as you say.

No, and no judgement here either. I surmise you'll burn out on club life for a bit and end up dating a MILF 10-12 years younger than you, so it's socially acceptable, but wtf do I know?

You're asking a very complex question. Take Gawker's girls, are they his friends? I bet most of them think so, but he still is paying them in some sort of matter, just like you're still paying your DSes.

In my years of clubbing I have had 2 relationships with dancers where no money was exchanged. After the first night of meeting them inside the club, I never paid them again for sex or time, but I also never hung out with them inside the club after that.

Yes, I paid for hotel rooms, flights and gifts, but that is no different that what I would have done with a girlfriend. To this day I am still in touch with both of these strippers although I haven't seen either for at least 3 years. One is out of the business and married, the other is a cam model who got divorced about a year ago. I consider them my friends and they check in with me maybe twice a year to see how I'm doing - through an email or a phone call.

I think to really know if you've become a true friend, I would say your get together can't revolve solely on sex and money cannot be exchanged for time or sex. I've had several others where we may just go out to eat, see a movie, but at some point money was exchanged - a tell tale sign that she probably wouldn't be there if I wasn't handing out money.

I've been casual friends with two strippers, defined by hangingredients out OTC without money or sex. In the first case she was a low mileage dancer, we were very occasional drinking buddies and texted some. The second is way more complicated.

Oddly I tend to meet these girls at slow, low mileage clubs that aren't my main.

My ATF and I are friends but it's a funny kind of friendship. When were together we talk about anything and everything. I share my emotions & feelings about my wife's illness and she commiserated. She tells me how she and her BF/baby daddy interact and about their shared recriminations regarding their addictions. She has explained to me how she can have sex with men she barely knows and how meaningless it is for her. How that's the way it was with me for a long time till we became friends. She says she loves me, not as a lover or BF, but more as a mentor. She respects me but I hesitate to use the word trust because she is very slow to trust anyone but she says she trusts me more than her parents, more than any other man except the BF. At times she shares all aspects of her life and other times she's almost secretive. She's ashamed of her addiction and tries to hide some aspects of her life but I can tell when she's been using even when she's not high. I've learned an awful lot about the drug trade and it's a filthy, awful existence. I once got an hour lesson on how to cook white (cocaine) into crack from a guy who got out of prison the day before. I've spent evenings with three other addicts who have since died of overdoses ( including one extremely hot young woman). I'm convinced that she truly wants to be sober and she and I have cried about her inability to stay clean. Her BF is going to make the difference this time if she makes it. I worry that my attempts to "help" have too often enabled her drug use so I'm backing away, but have obligations to get her to at least 3 pending court appearances ( with close to $3000 in bail money riding on her showing up). The last time I called her mother she sobbed as she greeted me saying she expects to get a call from me saying her daughter is dead. Is that a friendship or what?

Gawker is right. It's possible to pay money and still have some type of genuine friendship. It's rare, I'm sure, and the friendship may be unorthodox, but it can happen.

My ATF (TUSCL name gridget) called me a friend with stripper benefits. During the last 2 years, she only came to the club when I was in town and just to see me. She lived 65 miles away. Anybody else have an ATF that posted on TUSCL?

JS, I've had a pretty big number of relationships like what you describe, but I have to be honest -- I truly believe that if there's ANY business relationship at all, you're not really friends, no matter how much of a confidant and mentor and support system you are to her. And it's not even that she's fooling you... I've talked to a number of strippers who told me that they themselves didn't even realize how important the business part of the relationship was, they thought they truly liked a customer, but once the business relationship dried up, they found themselves moving on from the friendship. It's not that it's impossible for there to be real feelings of friendship there -- I'm saying neither you nor she can KNOW if it's real friendship, while the business relationship is still in effect.

I have a number of real friendships, though, proven by the fact that the business relationship is gone. My oldest ex-stripper friendship, I met her around 2001, she quit the biz around 2013 (I'd stopped paying her around 2012, but we stayed tight), she moved across the country, and we just spoke last month to laugh and catch up. My newest friendship, I stopped paying her two years ago, and we are in each others' lives... she calls or texts me almost every day. Those kind of friendships, I think are real.

I have a few strippers who are friends with my wallet.

I've had two stripper friends - but they weren't P4P OTC relationships.

One was a friend - and a friend of my family. I would go to her club from time to time - and if I saw her we'd chat for a bit. But there wasn't any sales pitch or anything other than a friendship.

The other stripper was a former dancer when we became friends. It was never P4P - but it developed into an fb relationship that involved great sex.

I've become casual friends with several over the years. Some no longer dance but we still text occasionally and keep in touch. It's rare but it definitely can happen.

My ATF was a friend in that we saw each other OTC without money being exchanged, but I was never a 'close' friend of hers. She was more important to me than I was to her.

I consider my ATF a friend still although all our interactions were P4P. We communicate somewhat regularly via Facebook messenger and have talked about getting together to catch up with family lives, etc. She hasn't danced in 5 or 6 years.

Yes.

Sharing a significant amount of time with anyone regardless of the arrangement is bound to develop some sort of genuine feelings, good or bad.

You think you are friends until something happens and you have an epiphany and realize that you've been taken advantage of.

I see it as any other service industry "friend" How close or friendly are you with your bartender, doctor, dentist, etc. You can have great conversations with them and friendly if you run into them in the streets, but how many are you actually friends with, where if you didn't come for their services would you still see?

Agree with alldaylong, that's the right way to think about it. You just don't know until the business relationship isn't coloring things. I believe in our situation, most of the time it's the stripper who decides to put an end to the "friendship" once the business relationship ends. But I also have to admit, there are times where, once she's not a stripper anymore, she seems to lose some of that magical allure for me ... and even though I thought I really liked her and badly wanted to remain friends, I find myself unmotivated...

I think it is difficult enough to define what a genuine friendship is without money in the definition. IMO it would be a reach to call someone that I was paying a friend.

To the question. No, I could never consider any of my OTC honeys real friends. Sometimes it felt like it but it never was. I thought I had a very cool connection with and longer team OTC favorite but, in an instant, she turned high hustle and extremely greedy. I had to fire her. I'll never understand what happened.

I think my closest dancer friendships are with dancers I've only seen ITC without extras. I've partied pretty hard with a few of ladies. I buy drinks but rarely tip. They'll sit with me during their slow periods and we laugh are asses off remembering all the stupid sc shit we did or watched happen. I consider them friends in a way.

I want to say yes. But I'd probably we lying to myself