They should have strip clubs in airports.

DaOnion
I have a 3 hour layover in Atlanta coming up and it's not really enough time to go to Follies or the Cheetah. If there was a strip club in the airport, it would be a perfect way to spend the down time.

They have smokers' lounges in airports and bars, so they could easily have a closed off section for a strip club. It would make a ton of money and provide a lot of extra revenue for the airport.

Also, passengers would probably be a lot less aggressive and pissed off if they missed their flight, because they would know there's a fun way to spend the time.

And, just think, if a hot stewardess is having a bad day, she might just say "fuck it, I quit" and walk down to the airport strip club and hop on the pole.

Sure, I know a lot of passengers would miss their flight because of it or show up really drunk for their flight and cause a disturbance, but let's focus on the positives here. Yeah yeah, I know, the morality police wouldn't allow it, but don't rain on my parade.

Also, there could be some great names for airport strip clubs. The Landing Strip, Mile High Club, and The Touch and Go, just to name a few.

29 comments

Latest

shailynn
9 years ago
Yeah that's why so many strip clubs are near airports with the same names you mentioned. I agree with ya though.

You can always tell when I'm stuck in an airport because I post like crazy on here.

If I need to kill time in an airport I usually go find one of those chair massage places and usually pay for 30 minutes. I'm stereotyping but all Asian people at those massage places do an excellent job. The only other type of person I see at those are Caucasian women and I never have had a good one yet!!!!
flagooner
9 years ago
I went to one of those smoker's clubs because I thought it was an extras club.
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
Strippers anywhere is a good-idea IMHPLO (in my humble PL opinion).

I remember when I was hospitalized for 3 or 4 days last summer thinking to myself how some strippers in my room would’ve made me feel much-better.

Just like back in the day planes had a smoking section; perhaps they could have a stripper section in planes w/ nude strippers instead of stewardesses and even have a booth or two for LDs.

:)
twentyfive
9 years ago
Papi you need to go to a better hospital where they have candy strippers ;)
DaOnion
9 years ago
I wonder if any of those Asian massage girls do ITA (in the airport). 25, I was thinking the same thing. Candy strippers, err stripers, at the airport.
DaOnion
9 years ago
I mean hospital.
Bavarian
9 years ago
A lap dance would probably be $40
No thanks
footballguy
9 years ago
That's a great idea, I can't think of a better way to spend a layover.

samsung1
9 years ago
In Dallas a strip club opened up right outside of the airport. Not sure if it is still around because there was a lot of protest.

There is a strip club down the road from the Columbus Ohio airport. It is a rip off with low mileage though.
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
Strip clubs in airports? How about just having strippers you can take with you on your flight?

SJG
twentyfive
9 years ago
To Da Onion You can put the VIP on Obamacare it will cure what ails you for sure.
Bavarian
9 years ago
Ricks DFW is very close to DFW airport. Never been inside but does not look busy judging from the near empty parking lot
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Several cities have decent clubs kinda close to the airport. I've gone on long layovers a couple of times but there's usually not enough time or the club is not good enough to be worth the effort. Cheetah or Follies would be worth the effort but they're definitely too far for only three hours.
warhawks
9 years ago

If they had strip clubs in airports, I'd never make my connecting flight...
Dolfan
9 years ago
I think I'm okay with the strip clubs being near the airports rather than in them. If they were in them, I'd get to visit them twice, maybe three times on a trip on a fairly strict schedule. With them being just nearby, I can check them out while I'm there and have a more flexible schedule.
Aaron_hip
9 years ago
This was in 2008.

I had a layover in the Munich airport. To my surprise, I saw a hotel store with a big screen TV showing an explicit porno scene! It was a porno store in that airport!!!
DaOnion
9 years ago
Haha. Not bad. Maybe it was a live video feed from that FKK club or whatever it's called in Germany.
shadowcat
9 years ago
Back in it's hey day Western Air Lines used to have 18 flights a day from LAX to LAS. More on Fri & Sat nights. It was always fun on Fridays to go walk around the terminal and gawk at the weekend prostitutes heading for Vegas.
chessmaster
9 years ago
Nice idea but wouldn't happen. Too many families with kids, loud ass music would irritate a lot of people, prices would be even more inflated, not to mention people getting drunk, starting fights, etc.
DaOnion
9 years ago
That's funny Shadow. I've heard about a lot of dancers flying into Vegas just to work for the weekend. There was this hot blonde by herself on my last flight to Vegas. I was tempted to ask her where she works, because I would have really gotten dances from her. Didn't want to get slapped if I was wrong though.
impala
9 years ago
Back before the days of tight airport security (when you could get out and back in rather easily and quickly), strop clubs near airports actually thrived, & a lot of the were notorious extras clubs. I know guys that would actually schedule extra long lay overs at particular airports, when arrive catch a cab and spend a couple of hours at a strip club.
gammanu95
9 years ago
Name it the Captive Audience Cabaret. Credit cards only, no cash. You have to pay for a seat. Only commercials play on the TVs. Beers are three times the normal price. But I'm so damned bored in airports, I would still go.
Cashman1234
9 years ago
That is an excellent idea. I'm sure it would be expensive - because of the convenience - but it could be worth it.

I have now adopted a new rule - and it's simple - if asked to go to a strip club before a flight - I now go. There were two times - when I was drinking at an airport bar - chatting with another random dude. Both times the guy asked if I had time to hit a club by the airport. I said no both times - and both times my flight was cancelled. I now know it was the strip club gods at work!
4got2wipe
9 years ago
Airport strip club = ace idea!
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
Actually what I've envisioned is a rail service, where you would have a lounge and diner car. You could fraternize with some outlandishly dressed and extremely dolled up hotties. Maybe take her to dinner just to get to know her, and cause everyone needs to eat.

Then take her to your euro style state room, you know the compartments that are car width except for a walkway on one side.

Enjoy her all night, then exchange contact info and go your way.

So you could do about 600 miles in a 12 hour trip. Maybe depart at 7pm, arrive at 7am.

What could possibly be better for the busy traveling business man? Sure beats airports!

You could do some paper work or computer work on the train before selecting you nights companionship too. They could have places for this in the rail station too.

So enjoy your girl while in route, and throughout the course of the night. ( as these are grown up girls, nocturnal re-entries expected ).

SJG

Barbara Dennerlein - The unforgettable
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79OvdhY0…
shadowcat
9 years ago
How about including strip clubs, bordellos & massage parlors into their rewards programs?
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
:)

SJG
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
See like this, double bed suite and with your own bathroom:
http://www.bing.com/images/search?q=trai…

So pick your girl in the lounge area, maybe take her to dinner, then spend the rest of the trip with her in your state room.

About 600 miles in 12 hours, say from 7pm 'till 7am. Ideal for the business man traveler.

Sometimes maybe even bring your own girl, or your regular, with you.

SJG
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
Here it says 9' 6" max train width for UK, but 10' 2" for the continent.

Its 10' 2" for the US.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Superliner…

But isn't my idea of how to travel better than commercial airlines and airports. What could be better than a night train with some dolled up hottie companionship.

Like having your own TJ Hotel Cascadas, but on steel wheels and chauffeured.

Need to have lots of grab rail though so that the women can more about safely in their stripper shoes.

SJG
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