I need some advice please
larryfisherman
California
I've been lurking here for a few months, I finally just signed up on here. I wrote some reviews, I'm guessing they should be up shortly?
Quick thing about me. I'm 25 and I just moved to LA. I was living in Detroit with my girlfriend of 10 years. Unfortunately we just grew apart and the relationship ended late September last year. The only reason I stayed in Detroit was because of her, but now that we broke up, I just wanted a new start. I had never step foot into a strip club until a couple of months ago.
So tonight I was in this LA club (I won't name the club at this time). There were some decent looking girls, out of the corner of my eye I saw this mixed bombshell, I'm guessing black and white, that completely blew my mind. In the few times I've been to strip clubs I usually just make it rain and just chill and drink, I don't really do dances. So I went to the girl's stage, made it rain around $200 in ones and went back to my seat. After her stageset she immediately came over to me and sat on my lap. In four hours the only time she left my lap was to go on stage or go to the restroom. We pretty much just drank and talked for four hours. She never asked me for a dance. I told her I wasn't getting dances tonight, but she never left my side. I didn't mind her staying with me because I thought she was the hottest one there. She has the kind of ass that makes a gay guy turn straight.
She was a real cool girl, very intelligent. I was impressed on her knowledge on a variety of subjects. Finally at the end of the night I have to leave. I suggest we do some dances before I leave. She agrees. As soon as the lapdance song starts, her tongue is down my throat. Pretty much non stop kissing for three songs. That was fucking hot. I stop after three songs because I have to go, plus the club is gonna close for the night in 30 min. I tell her goodbye, she says she wants to talk to me before I leave. So we go back to the bar and sits on my lap. The next part I wasn't prepared for.
She tells me she has a boyfriend, and that he treats her like shit. He beats her up, he verbally abuses her, he mentally abuses her etc. I ask her why she doesn't leave him. She says he's looked at like as the golden boy, he has a lot of money, he's very smart, he's good looking etc. Her parents don't believe her when she tells them the things he does to her. They tell her, "he's the best thing that's ever happened to you, don't blow it". She says she's in college and he's paying for it. She then looks me directly in the eyes and says, "whatever he's done for me is not worth all the pain he's put me through". Tears then come down her face. A couple tears come down my face. She then tells me she wants to be with me, and she begs me to save her from him. All of this is a little overwhelming to me. At this time the DJ is telling the remaining customers it's time to leave. We exchange numbers and she gives me a long kiss goodbye.
I get home and I can't go to bed. As a human I'm thinking I can't let her go back to that loser and continue to be abused. She deserves better than what this prick is giving her. On the other hand I don't necessarily want to be with her right now. First of all I would be too nervous that someone at work would find out I'm dating a stripper. If my work found out I was dating a stripper, I would be fired. I've worked too hard in my life to be jobless in LA, even if it's for a short time. Second of all I hear dating strippers is a major headache according to you guys. Third of all she was moving a little too fast for me, I kind of want to take things slow, she is very attractive though and I definitely have the hots for her.
I apologize if this story was too long, and I apologize if this is a dumb question, but how do I proceed going further?
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A: You just met her.
B: You are now a customer of hers.
C: Don't put yourself in a situation that could ruin your life.
D: If she is serious she will contact you.
Lastly listen to what these other guys will be saying.
Strippers can be drama queens. She might really like you or she might be looking for a new sugar daddy or this is a pretty sophisticated hustle. You like the girl physically and conversationally, you are attracted and turned on, you are young and unattached. Seems like a great time to take the risk. It will probably be a wild ride. But certain rides are only available at certain ages. From experience I suspect that 20 years from now you'll have more regrets about the risks like this you didn't take than the ones you did that didn't work out.
I'd play and see what happens. You aren't going in blind.
jackslash is probably right on the mark though, she's playing you. The likelihood that you are more than an ATM is small.
Though it wouldn't surprise me if she did, in fact, have an abusive boyfriend, he's more likely to be your every day, run of the mill drug dealer than a "golden boy" type.
I really can't see any upside to pursuing this relationship at all. Unless you just want to fuck, in which case just ask her that. She'll probably want money (that's what this whole con is about anyway), so if you're OK with that, and the price is reasonable, go for it.
Don't pay her until after the deed is done, though, no matter how hard she pleads or cries. If she won't do anything (including just going out for drinks or dinner), you'll *know* it's a con.
1. It's a con.
2. She's a lunatic.
I vote for both being true, but regardless every possible scenario of where this could lead is some form of disaster. I would never speak to her again.
Is that really more plausible than the fact that this is a not-so-subtle hustle, given what her job is and that lots of girls are known to run these types of hustles? Isn't it more likely that she picked up that you're a nice guy, and profiled you perfectly as the kind of guy who she could run a white knight hustle on? (and yes, these kinds of hustles are so common that there's a name for them). And that everything she did that night was building towards a big payoff?
And did it work? Are you thinking about her all the time? Are you rationalizing why you should go back and help her even though somewhere deep down you realize it's a scam? Did she get you planning how soon you'll be back to see her? Did you run right home and write a breathless TR about it?
Admitting all that means admitting some tough things about yourself right now -- that you're weak and vulnerable, being in a strange place and having just lost the woman you moved there for, that you're not experienced enough to identify a common hustle the rest of us can see, etc.
Assuming you're a real person and not a troll account: You need to lose her number and not go back there. And re-thinking whether you should be SCing at all right now
Thanks for looking out for me!
I try to do the same, though admittedly I do not pursue the same end game many of you do. So my perspective is probably much different. I speek my mind and offer my opinions based on my several years of SC activity whether they are popular or not, usually trying to remain respectful.
Maybe I have a hard time believing this story because it is so different from anyone I have met in regards to how their early SC hobby started.
In any event, I did admit that I may be cynical and that it was just my opinion. Take it as just one opinion in a sea of them. That's why I like this site. You can get a lot of varying comments and ignore those that you think aren't appropriate.
1) Don’t fall in-love with a stripper
2) Don’t forget rule #1
1) Don't categorize women as sex workers and treat them any differently than you would treat any other women.
2) Don't forget rule #1
SJG
“… made it rain around $200 in ones …”
As others mentioned – this probably made-you a/her target – sorta like walking thru a bad neighborhood counting a whole bunch of $$$ in your hands - likely you will attract a certain kind of attention.
If she sees you throw her $200 for nothing; then:
a) this guy has what I want – seemingly plenty of $$$
b) this guy seems to have $$$ and seems to wanna give it away for nothing
So yeah – you “made and impression” on her similar to a street-thieve seeing you walk down the street with a whole bunch of $$$ in your hands.
“… As soon as the lapdance song starts, her tongue is down my throat …”
Don’t mistake this for her genuinely being into you and liking you – could be – but there are 50 and 60 y/o dudes that some dancers will do this to.
“…She tells me she has a boyfriend, and that he treats her like shit. He beats her up, he verbally abuses her, he mentally abuses her …”
It sounds like the typical pity-scam – it could be true – but it is not the job of custies to go to strip-clubs to be stripper-saviors – and one is asking for trouble and drama if trying to be a stripper-savior.
“… She says she's in college …”
Again could be true – but this again is a typical stripper-line – we experienced SCers have heard this countless times and in the occasions we’ve gotten to know a stripper personally we often find out this, along with 90% of everything she’s told us, is not true – not saying she’s def not in college; but it’s a typical stripper-line.
“…whatever he's done for me is not worth all the pain he's put me through …”
Again – could be true – but as others have mentioned why would she be telling this to a guy SHE JUST MET IN A STRIP CLUB.
“…Tears then come down her face. A couple tears come down my face …”
Don’t take this personally – but yeap – you are the perfect mark and it probably didn’t take her long to size you-up – you are a young-guy and SC inexperienced – most of these chicks have been in the game for a while and know the game (some very very well) – the SC is their environment and many know it like the back of their hand – whereas many SC-inexperienced custies go in blind.
“… she then tells me she wants to be with me, and she begs me to save her from him …”
Again – as others have said – all this after just 4-hours of knowing you – at best it’s crazy – more likely her just hustling an inexperienced young-guy that seemingly believes everything a stripper would tell-him.
“… I get home and I can't go to bed. As a human I'm thinking I can't let her go back to that loser and continue to be abused …”
Again – this statement – the $200 “rain-storm” – the “tears falling down your cheeks” – all make you the perfect stripper-mark and why strippers get away w/ what they get away with.
“… I wish I could just delete this thread lol. I'm so damn naive …”
Pretty much all of us are naive when we start SCing – plenty of men have lost a lot dealing with strippers including marriages; jobs/businesses; and even their temporary sanity LOL. How do you think we are able to give you the advice we give you; b/c most of us got burned at some point.
In summary:
It’s impossible to KNOW FOR SURE if what a stripper says is true or not – but experience tells us more often than not it’s mostly lies.
In the event that what she say’s is true; in reality this is not a battle you wanna fight:
+ in reality; most strippers choose to do what they do and they are who they are – unlikely you can/will change-her or her circumstances and in reality only she can make the changes in her life – it’s easy to think they are just victims of circumstance but in reality their state in life is often as a direct result of the actions they take and if one gets involved with them they will still continue to take-the-same-actions/make-the-same-decisions that will not only continue to affect the state of her-life but then also yours if you get involved with her
Many of us have gotten involved with strippers and their drama/problems and from many other threads as far as I can tell it’s often drama and often does not end well.
Most guys don’t have what it takes to deal with a stripper as a GF or even as a personal acquaintance – and you being young and inexperienced that sheds tears at a stripper’s “story” and is paranoid about work finding out you date a stripper – all this tells me you are not one of the few-guys that could perhaps handle the ride and IMO would not be better for getting involved with her and would actually be worse having learned some hard-lessons.
IMO you are not mature and experienced enough to handle the stripper-game/drama – I’d say do not get personally involved with any stripper – SCs are not “real-life” so leave “real life” at the door – SCs are at best about having a good time and the best you can/should do for a dancer is to treat her fairly if she’s treating you well (meaning compensate her fairly and leave it at that) – even if she’s telling the truth and she likes you; you probably don’t want her to like you; a regular-guy with a regular-life more often than not does not mesh well with the stripper life-style.
I wouldn’t say to avoid her at the club – if you like her then enjoy her as a dancer but you would have to make it clear that you are just there as a customer and not her buddy – if you can’t do that then do avoid her – the only thing you owe her is to treat her fairly as an entertainer (i.e. compensate her fairly for her time and attention) – and don’t freaking let her get you involved in her personal drama b/c pretty-soon her or any other dancer you get involved with will be hitting you up with all their issues which often involve $$$ issues for all sorts of reasons they come up-with with some being genuine and many not/lies.
If you are going to be in the SC-hobby; then stay on this board and wait a while till you get some experience or else you may end-up learning the hardaway.
Funny that this thread got dug up, but looking back I was definitely over dramatic on the getting fired for dating a stripper thing. Thankful I didn't fall too deep on her SS. You live and you learn!
I haven't read each post larryfisherman starts lately because they're the hot or not type threads. I do remember when he first joined it was like the strip club world was this mystery that was slowly starting to reveal itself, because each thread he started had to do with the SC world. So, just saying I'll join the side on larryfisherman is real.
Once you retire you have time for being a stalker.