I need some advice please

larryfisherman
California
Hey guys,
I've been lurking here for a few months, I finally just signed up on here. I wrote some reviews, I'm guessing they should be up shortly?

Quick thing about me. I'm 25 and I just moved to LA. I was living in Detroit with my girlfriend of 10 years. Unfortunately we just grew apart and the relationship ended late September last year. The only reason I stayed in Detroit was because of her, but now that we broke up, I just wanted a new start. I had never step foot into a strip club until a couple of months ago.

So tonight I was in this LA club (I won't name the club at this time). There were some decent looking girls, out of the corner of my eye I saw this mixed bombshell, I'm guessing black and white, that completely blew my mind. In the few times I've been to strip clubs I usually just make it rain and just chill and drink, I don't really do dances. So I went to the girl's stage, made it rain around $200 in ones and went back to my seat. After her stageset she immediately came over to me and sat on my lap. In four hours the only time she left my lap was to go on stage or go to the restroom. We pretty much just drank and talked for four hours. She never asked me for a dance. I told her I wasn't getting dances tonight, but she never left my side. I didn't mind her staying with me because I thought she was the hottest one there. She has the kind of ass that makes a gay guy turn straight.

She was a real cool girl, very intelligent. I was impressed on her knowledge on a variety of subjects. Finally at the end of the night I have to leave. I suggest we do some dances before I leave. She agrees. As soon as the lapdance song starts, her tongue is down my throat. Pretty much non stop kissing for three songs. That was fucking hot. I stop after three songs because I have to go, plus the club is gonna close for the night in 30 min. I tell her goodbye, she says she wants to talk to me before I leave. So we go back to the bar and sits on my lap. The next part I wasn't prepared for.

She tells me she has a boyfriend, and that he treats her like shit. He beats her up, he verbally abuses her, he mentally abuses her etc. I ask her why she doesn't leave him. She says he's looked at like as the golden boy, he has a lot of money, he's very smart, he's good looking etc. Her parents don't believe her when she tells them the things he does to her. They tell her, "he's the best thing that's ever happened to you, don't blow it". She says she's in college and he's paying for it. She then looks me directly in the eyes and says, "whatever he's done for me is not worth all the pain he's put me through". Tears then come down her face. A couple tears come down my face. She then tells me she wants to be with me, and she begs me to save her from him. All of this is a little overwhelming to me. At this time the DJ is telling the remaining customers it's time to leave. We exchange numbers and she gives me a long kiss goodbye.

I get home and I can't go to bed. As a human I'm thinking I can't let her go back to that loser and continue to be abused. She deserves better than what this prick is giving her. On the other hand I don't necessarily want to be with her right now. First of all I would be too nervous that someone at work would find out I'm dating a stripper. If my work found out I was dating a stripper, I would be fired. I've worked too hard in my life to be jobless in LA, even if it's for a short time. Second of all I hear dating strippers is a major headache according to you guys. Third of all she was moving a little too fast for me, I kind of want to take things slow, she is very attractive though and I definitely have the hots for her.

I apologize if this story was too long, and I apologize if this is a dumb question, but how do I proceed going further?

45 comments

Latest

SmithWV
9 years ago
Carefully mano. That is all I can suggest.
A: You just met her.
B: You are now a customer of hers.
C: Don't put yourself in a situation that could ruin your life.
D: If she is serious she will contact you.

Lastly listen to what these other guys will be saying.
motorhead
9 years ago
If some girl sat on my lap for 4 hours, the blood circulation to my brain would have been cut off too.
knightwish
9 years ago
I think you are being over dramatic. Why would your work fire you for dating a stripper? What kind of job would even care unless you are a minster or something.

Strippers can be drama queens. She might really like you or she might be looking for a new sugar daddy or this is a pretty sophisticated hustle. You like the girl physically and conversationally, you are attracted and turned on, you are young and unattached. Seems like a great time to take the risk. It will probably be a wild ride. But certain rides are only available at certain ages. From experience I suspect that 20 years from now you'll have more regrets about the risks like this you didn't take than the ones you did that didn't work out.

I'd play and see what happens. You aren't going in blind.
grand1511
9 years ago
Good strippers are great at creating a fantasy. I'd be real careful that one four-hour talk session could be so life changing. You admit that she's smart. Smart strippers can play a smarter game.
ButterMan
9 years ago
What kind of job do have that would fire u for dating a stripper. I find that hard to believe. I had a similar thing happened to me a few years back and the stripper turned out to be a drama queen liar not saying that yours is she may be telling the truth I don't know. You say you're 25 most of us are a bit older than that she probably sees you as boyfriend material or Savior material so to speak just be careful I would take her out to eat and talk to her don't go in blind
jackslash
9 years ago
This stripper decided you were her soulmate after spending one evening with you? How likely is that? She is conning you, and will take every dollar you have. Run, Forest, Run.
georgmicrodong
9 years ago
If you don't want a girlfriend and she wants to be your girlfriend, that seems simple enough. Say no.

jackslash is probably right on the mark though, she's playing you. The likelihood that you are more than an ATM is small.

Though it wouldn't surprise me if she did, in fact, have an abusive boyfriend, he's more likely to be your every day, run of the mill drug dealer than a "golden boy" type.

I really can't see any upside to pursuing this relationship at all. Unless you just want to fuck, in which case just ask her that. She'll probably want money (that's what this whole con is about anyway), so if you're OK with that, and the price is reasonable, go for it.

Don't pay her until after the deed is done, though, no matter how hard she pleads or cries. If she won't do anything (including just going out for drinks or dinner), you'll *know* it's a con.
gawker
9 years ago
Don't try to be a white knight. I speak from experience that 90% of the time, her story is exaggerated and anyway so what? What is it YOU want as an outcome? Do you want to bed the young lass? Do you possibly want a relationship? Do you really feel as if you know her? After 4 hours? Really?
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Two options:

1. It's a con.

2. She's a lunatic.

I vote for both being true, but regardless every possible scenario of where this could lead is some form of disaster. I would never speak to her again.
rockie
9 years ago
In a strip club - 4 hours is a sustained and balanced relationship! You even waited to have sex with her until the second marathon session (your commitment and support for each other gets my certified and bonafied Good Housekeeping Label). Don't go back to her club if you can't handle her con and don't make such a splash in the future with your strip club "rain" man game! Yes, she'll consider replacing her current financier with you, or she's got 3 others that don't know about each other (ching, ching). You can also return, tune out the rhetoric, and see that you are sexually compatible before she takes you for every dime at least (ITC only!!!).
ButterMan
9 years ago
Agreed I once had a stripper yell Mr she was being held captive in a basement!...LoL it was all BS or SS!
flagooner
9 years ago
I hate to sound cynical, but I find it just as likely that your story is full of shit as the one you recount. If it did happen, I'm doubtful that you would write here for advice you would trust as your first post.
twentyfive
9 years ago
You should take her home and marry her as quickly as possible just to save the rest of us from her. Sounds like she is the PL whisperer and if you don't snatch her up she is going to do this again.
carlos_spiceyweiner
9 years ago
You don't proceed. You NEVER look for love at the club. You started your story by noting how you only stayed in Detroit because of your girlfriend. That suggests you're way too willing to let other people lead your life. Now you're preparing to let a stripper do the same (one who is either lying or obviously can't manage her own affairs--probably both). You may as well: sell everything you own and give the money to the first money-grubbing bitch you meet on the street; max out all your credit cards; completely screw up your job, and say goodbye to your mental health. Or you could avoid all that by staying out of the club. Right now you're opening yourself up to nothing but trouble.
Subraman
9 years ago
larry: let's assume that story is real. Put yourself in her shoes for a moment. Is it really likely that, in an emotionally (and physically?) abusive relationship. Is it really plausible you fall in love with a strip club customer -- a STRIP CLUB CUSTOMER, someone who pays women to wriggle around on them -- in the course of a couple of hours, and THAT is who you turn to for help? Really? Is there anything about that that DOESN'T sound completely outlandish?

Is that really more plausible than the fact that this is a not-so-subtle hustle, given what her job is and that lots of girls are known to run these types of hustles? Isn't it more likely that she picked up that you're a nice guy, and profiled you perfectly as the kind of guy who she could run a white knight hustle on? (and yes, these kinds of hustles are so common that there's a name for them). And that everything she did that night was building towards a big payoff?

And did it work? Are you thinking about her all the time? Are you rationalizing why you should go back and help her even though somewhere deep down you realize it's a scam? Did she get you planning how soon you'll be back to see her? Did you run right home and write a breathless TR about it?

Admitting all that means admitting some tough things about yourself right now -- that you're weak and vulnerable, being in a strange place and having just lost the woman you moved there for, that you're not experienced enough to identify a common hustle the rest of us can see, etc.

Assuming you're a real person and not a troll account: You need to lose her number and not go back there. And re-thinking whether you should be SCing at all right now
JamesSD
9 years ago
This girl is drana. Stay away.
larryfisherman
9 years ago
I wish I was bullshitting, but the story is true. I get the point though, she is likely just using a hustle on me. I'll ignore her. I'm relatively new to the strip clubs, so I guess I haven't seen all the stripper hustles. Add this one to the books!

Thanks for looking out for me!
sclvr5005
9 years ago
You don't.
Dominic77
9 years ago
She's trainwreck. Do not proceed.
larryfisherman
9 years ago
I wish I could just delete this thread lol. I'm so damn naive. Just pretend you never saw this thread lol.
twentyfive
9 years ago
Nah man your fine we rag the newbies a bit but you seem to get the point stick around you will be fine.
HungryGiraffe
9 years ago
Larry, if you want to fuck her, chances are she'll say yes. You'll know a lot more after doing the deed. If she's a complete nutjob, you'll figure that out in the process. This is all adventure. Life is short. Use a condom!
lopaw
9 years ago
No surprise in being naive & trusting when you first start clubbing. Many of us have been there in the beginning. But at least you were saved the angst of stepping into a situation wrought with disappointment and possible bank account drainage.
chessmaster
9 years ago
Well I was gonna go with see if you can fuck her first, then ignore her.
s88
9 years ago
Much good advice here already in this thread. Some strippers don't separate SC work from life OTC. All their SC customers are on their FB and her FB is nothing but selfies of her, her pro ink model pics, 420 and tat pics. She might be a mostly non-fucking OTC date for an afternoon or 2 but expect to have to stand your ground some point soon and play "hard to get" and she moves onto the next boytoy. There is a word, maneater.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Rockie is right that your rain man act was stupid, unnecessary, and counter productive. And it's one of the many reasons that she easily tagged you as a newbie who could be played. If you really like a dancer just give her $10 on stage and tell her that these's more at your table.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Flag, I don't see why this looks fake. The story is quite believable and realistic. And a guy who has lurked here for a few months would pretty quickly find out that our advice on dealing with striopers is reliable.
flagooner
9 years ago
@JS69 - I don't deny that the vast majority of you regular long-time posters provide honest opinions and experienced advice.

I try to do the same, though admittedly I do not pursue the same end game many of you do. So my perspective is probably much different. I speek my mind and offer my opinions based on my several years of SC activity whether they are popular or not, usually trying to remain respectful.

Maybe I have a hard time believing this story because it is so different from anyone I have met in regards to how their early SC hobby started.

In any event, I did admit that I may be cynical and that it was just my opinion. Take it as just one opinion in a sea of them. That's why I like this site. You can get a lot of varying comments and ignore those that you think aren't appropriate.
sharkhunter
9 years ago
I'm not sure why you would get fired for dating the wrong girl. Wrong girl for whom? Does work dictate who you can date on your own time? That's a strange work place and it sounds illegal to dictate what someone can legally do in their free time. She might not be a wrong girl for everyone and could be a lot of fun. She has a boyfriend though and that makes this set up very high drama potential. If you went out with her and she left him, expect a good chance that he might find you and confront you over it. If he was paying for her college and other expenses, expect her to want you to pay for it all. She might be looking for a way out of a bad situation or she might be playing you to see how much money she can get out of you. Does she have kids? That could keep her bf or bf's in the picture for life. If she contacts you or you run into her again, you could say you were not looking for a new gf at the moment but you like her and to keep in touch. 4 hours isn't long enough to know someone unless you have a Vulcan mind meld ability. On the other hand if you think she was your soulmate and worth all the potential drama, go for it. Sounds like she really gave you a good story but who knows, she might have told the truth.
sharkhunter
9 years ago
Here's an extra tip. If the girl you like has several sisters and they are all divorced, there is a good chance if you marry her that it will end in divorce or an unhappy marriage if you stay married to the only sister that didn't get divorced. I know someone who married someone with 4 or 5 divorced sisters.
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
There are two very basic rules in strip-clubbing:

1) Don’t fall in-love with a stripper

2) Don’t forget rule #1
san_jose_guy
9 years ago
There are two basic rules for dealing with all sex workers:

1) Don't categorize women as sex workers and treat them any differently than you would treat any other women.

2) Don't forget rule #1

SJG
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
I’m late to the party and sound-advice has already been given pretty-much covering-it but I’ll throw-in my 2 PL cents anyway:


“… made it rain around $200 in ones …”

As others mentioned – this probably made-you a/her target – sorta like walking thru a bad neighborhood counting a whole bunch of $$$ in your hands - likely you will attract a certain kind of attention.

If she sees you throw her $200 for nothing; then:

a) this guy has what I want – seemingly plenty of $$$
b) this guy seems to have $$$ and seems to wanna give it away for nothing

So yeah – you “made and impression” on her similar to a street-thieve seeing you walk down the street with a whole bunch of $$$ in your hands.


“… As soon as the lapdance song starts, her tongue is down my throat …”

Don’t mistake this for her genuinely being into you and liking you – could be – but there are 50 and 60 y/o dudes that some dancers will do this to.


“…She tells me she has a boyfriend, and that he treats her like shit. He beats her up, he verbally abuses her, he mentally abuses her …”

It sounds like the typical pity-scam – it could be true – but it is not the job of custies to go to strip-clubs to be stripper-saviors – and one is asking for trouble and drama if trying to be a stripper-savior.

“… She says she's in college …”

Again could be true – but this again is a typical stripper-line – we experienced SCers have heard this countless times and in the occasions we’ve gotten to know a stripper personally we often find out this, along with 90% of everything she’s told us, is not true – not saying she’s def not in college; but it’s a typical stripper-line.


“…whatever he's done for me is not worth all the pain he's put me through …”

Again – could be true – but as others have mentioned why would she be telling this to a guy SHE JUST MET IN A STRIP CLUB.


“…Tears then come down her face. A couple tears come down my face …”

Don’t take this personally – but yeap – you are the perfect mark and it probably didn’t take her long to size you-up – you are a young-guy and SC inexperienced – most of these chicks have been in the game for a while and know the game (some very very well) – the SC is their environment and many know it like the back of their hand – whereas many SC-inexperienced custies go in blind.


“… she then tells me she wants to be with me, and she begs me to save her from him …”

Again – as others have said – all this after just 4-hours of knowing you – at best it’s crazy – more likely her just hustling an inexperienced young-guy that seemingly believes everything a stripper would tell-him.


“… I get home and I can't go to bed. As a human I'm thinking I can't let her go back to that loser and continue to be abused …”

Again – this statement – the $200 “rain-storm” – the “tears falling down your cheeks” – all make you the perfect stripper-mark and why strippers get away w/ what they get away with.


“… I wish I could just delete this thread lol. I'm so damn naive …”

Pretty much all of us are naive when we start SCing – plenty of men have lost a lot dealing with strippers including marriages; jobs/businesses; and even their temporary sanity LOL. How do you think we are able to give you the advice we give you; b/c most of us got burned at some point.


In summary:

It’s impossible to KNOW FOR SURE if what a stripper says is true or not – but experience tells us more often than not it’s mostly lies.

In the event that what she say’s is true; in reality this is not a battle you wanna fight:

+ in reality; most strippers choose to do what they do and they are who they are – unlikely you can/will change-her or her circumstances and in reality only she can make the changes in her life – it’s easy to think they are just victims of circumstance but in reality their state in life is often as a direct result of the actions they take and if one gets involved with them they will still continue to take-the-same-actions/make-the-same-decisions that will not only continue to affect the state of her-life but then also yours if you get involved with her


Many of us have gotten involved with strippers and their drama/problems and from many other threads as far as I can tell it’s often drama and often does not end well.

Most guys don’t have what it takes to deal with a stripper as a GF or even as a personal acquaintance – and you being young and inexperienced that sheds tears at a stripper’s “story” and is paranoid about work finding out you date a stripper – all this tells me you are not one of the few-guys that could perhaps handle the ride and IMO would not be better for getting involved with her and would actually be worse having learned some hard-lessons.

IMO you are not mature and experienced enough to handle the stripper-game/drama – I’d say do not get personally involved with any stripper – SCs are not “real-life” so leave “real life” at the door – SCs are at best about having a good time and the best you can/should do for a dancer is to treat her fairly if she’s treating you well (meaning compensate her fairly and leave it at that) – even if she’s telling the truth and she likes you; you probably don’t want her to like you; a regular-guy with a regular-life more often than not does not mesh well with the stripper life-style.

I wouldn’t say to avoid her at the club – if you like her then enjoy her as a dancer but you would have to make it clear that you are just there as a customer and not her buddy – if you can’t do that then do avoid her – the only thing you owe her is to treat her fairly as an entertainer (i.e. compensate her fairly for her time and attention) – and don’t freaking let her get you involved in her personal drama b/c pretty-soon her or any other dancer you get involved with will be hitting you up with all their issues which often involve $$$ issues for all sorts of reasons they come up-with with some being genuine and many not/lies.

If you are going to be in the SC-hobby; then stay on this board and wait a while till you get some experience or else you may end-up learning the hardaway.
larryfisherman
9 years ago
@Papi_Chulo- thank you so much for all that insight!!
Beaver_Hunter
8 years ago
What a lying cunt
flagooner
8 years ago
I been calling him out since his very first post. I think I'm on his ignore list after I trolled him one week.
rockstar666
8 years ago
You started living with your g/f when you were 15??? Wow...
Mate27
8 years ago
What a faggity discussion thread by the OP!
larryfisherman
8 years ago
No rockstar, I was living with her when we broke up. I was in a relationship with her for 10 years. I started living with her the last four years of the relationship.

Funny that this thread got dug up, but looking back I was definitely over dramatic on the getting fired for dating a stripper thing. Thankful I didn't fall too deep on her SS. You live and you learn!
gammanu95
8 years ago
Why the fuck would you resurrect such a BS thread?
Beaver_Hunter
8 years ago
gammanu95, it looks like Ive pissed you off today. I'd buy you a drink if FL wasn't 5 states away.
gammanu95
8 years ago
Nah, my bad. Long week
Ch3ll
8 years ago
Just commenting due to all the larryfisherman threads.

I haven't read each post larryfisherman starts lately because they're the hot or not type threads. I do remember when he first joined it was like the strip club world was this mystery that was slowly starting to reveal itself, because each thread he started had to do with the SC world. So, just saying I'll join the side on larryfisherman is real.
Jascoi
8 years ago
we need edit and delete buttons for our posts... and for our lives too!
gawker
8 years ago
Become a detective instead of a defective. Start with Facebook. Check out her postings for the past year. Then look at her friends & discern what kind of person she is and who she hangs with Get her legal name & address and google her. Go to the Registry of Deeds or get on-line access to find out who owns where she lives. Find out where she allegedly goes to college. Ask her what course she was in earlier in the day and then check with the Registra's office to see if that course was taught that day.
Once you retire you have time for being a stalker.
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