Follow Up

Timex345
Illinois
I posted a discussion topic awhile ago announcing my decision to stop patronizing showclubs.
The decision was very difficult and it took awhile for me to go cold turkey.
It took about a month for me to fully quit. I am writing this discussion topic for anyone out there who
may be struggling with their own attendance and may find this of interest. I am also writing this for myself because
I find it helpful. About a month ago, I found it relatively easy to stop attending one of my favorite clubs around 90 minutes from my home.
It was a long drive, and while I did have a crush on one of the girls there, I had had enough of the routine of driving there nearly every weekend.
I could have visited today. But, I just had lost the interest. Last year at this time, I would have been there.
The hard club to stop attending was about 20 minutes from my home. I had fallen really hard for one of the girls there.
I had made the mistake of giving this girl my number. She would contact me each Monday to ask if I was visiting her.
I fully understood that she was texting all of her regulars. That's like having a drug dealer calling a person trying to quit drugs.
It just is not a good thing. I would usually say yes or come up with an excuse why I could not visit. For some reason, I thought I was somehow
different. Silly me, I know. This past Friday, I made a special effort to visit with her. As I entered the club, I noticed her sitting with a customer.
I sat down and she did wave to me. I was prepared to wait. Not long after, she did stop by. Here is what finally pushed me to end
my showclub attendance. Keep in mind I have dropped a great deal of money on this girl over the past year or so.
Anyways, she barely sat with me before she hustled me for some dances. She asked how many I would like.
I said five. After the fourth, she was called to the stage. She had mentioned she had had a few drinks. This surprised me.
This is the first time I was there when she was a little tipsy. I went to the stage to pay for the four songs she did dance for me.
She still demanded that I pay for five saying that we had made a deal. I went ahead and paid. I thought I really don't need to get into
an argument with her. Worse, after she got off the stage, she did stop by again to say bye and let me know she was returning to the customer
she was sitting with when I arrived. I bought dances from another girl hoping to piss her off. Childish I know. But, I was hurt and pissed.
The customer she was sitting with was buying her drinks, but he did not even buy dances while I was there.
I left heartbroken and angry. I do owe her a bit of gratitude for being rude to me. It was just the motivation I needed to stop visiting her.
I realized that I am just a walking ATM maching to her. It hurts but I am finally free. Free from a life enslaved by my need for
validation from women who are deceitful and cruel. Free from the heartache and disappointment. I did change my phone number so she
has no way of ever contacting me. I had to change my number. I did send her several texts explaining why I was stopping my visits.
I doubt she would text me. But, she has always been my kryptonite, so I felt it better to not be tempted. I know I can't go back.
But, really there was no future with this woman. I would never really want to be with her. As a former customer, I know what goes on at a showclub.
Really, I would never want to have my girlfriend grind on customers for a living. I have been here before.
I know in time I will feel better. And, it is nice to actually have money in my bank account.
I set myself free and hope you find your freedom too whether it be at a showclub or outside of them.

21 comments

Latest

tumblingdice
9 years ago
For the first time in my life I don't know what to say.
carlos_spiceyweiner
9 years ago
I wish you well and obviously you're making the right decision to stay out of clubs because you're confusing a pay-to-play fantasy with a real relationship. Most rookies who fall for a stripper get burned quickly, learn their lesson and keep clubbing but do it right. If you're getting this hung up on a stripper I'd suggest you get some counseling to deal with civvie relationships. You're just going to make yourself miserable with women. Good luck.
Daybreaker
9 years ago
Yeah....as someone who loves strip clubs and is also planning on working in one, I'd agree with Carlos. Strippers can be deceitful and cruel just like any other person...but most of them are just doing their job. Their job is to cater to fantasy, which obviously, some patrons get a little too caught up in.

No matter what, good luck.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Damn. And you guys think I'm obsessed with my DS.

Strippers are like a door knob, erbody gets a turn. I play with others, she plays with others, and we play with each other. You can't (or shouldn't) club if you can't grasp this concept. So yeah Carlos is right, you should stop.
jackslash
9 years ago
"I left heartbroken and angry. "

You're getting too emotionally involved. A dancer is not your girlfriend. She is in the club to make money by entertaining men, and you're a customer who should aim at being entertained.
motorhead
9 years ago
That's not true, Jack. Just this week alone I've had 4 dancers tell me they love me. Not my girlfriend? Pfffft. These young woman wouldn't lie to me, would they?
shadowcat
9 years ago
After reading this I will have no problem staying out of show clubs. Strip clubs will be a different story. :)
rattdog
9 years ago
i thought show clubs and strip clubs were the same thing. what's the difference between the two?
seaboardrr
9 years ago
Sounds like the show clubs are the old style table/stage dance no touching clubs. Went to 3 of those in one night 20 years ago because a buddy insisted we go have fun. Never been back to one because that was the most pathetic waste of money I'd ever seen.

OP needs a GF. Not a plastic blow up one either. Trying to fill a need with strippers is a downward spiral.
4got2wipe
9 years ago
I actually feel a bit sorry for the OP. Not a brilliant situation! :(
JamesSD
9 years ago
I think youre making the right decision and guarantee she wont even notice you're gone.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
So a "show club" is just another name for a low mileage/eye candy strip club? If so maybe that explains some of the OP's frustration. Few things are more frustrating than repeatedly being able to look but not touch or fuck.

Maybe he should try a real strip club before he quits. But on the other hand, if you fall in love just looking at a naked woman, what might happen if you got to fuck her? Better just stay away.
Subraman
9 years ago
"She had mentioned she had had a few drinks. This surprised me."

There are some great lines in that post!
Ch3ll
9 years ago
Hey you broke the hold. Nothing beats money in the bank account!
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
A young pussy in my bed beats money in the bank any day. You'll just spend the money on some stupid shit, or drop dead of a heart attack and leave it to your relatives. But the memory of fucking a beautiful young women lasts a lifetime ( at least until the alzheimer's kicks in).
sharkhunter
9 years ago
If you can't visit a show club or strip club without falling in love with the dancers, you're probably better off not visiting.
sharkhunter
9 years ago
^what if the Alzheimer's kicks in and you can only remember fucking the DS and have trouble remembering everything else? JS69 will have a grin on his face until he dies. :)
GACA
9 years ago
The one great thing about this place, we all know that it's our own fault (personal accountability) when we make stupid choices. And quite honestly nothing wrong with a few stupid choices in life to make you feel human, and not like some programmed robot doing what he's supposed to do.

I feel like you need to get into a actual relationship with someone who isn't your ideal type, just to get experience what a real relationship is like. Real relationships happen at your place, her place, and a lot of other places. Real relationships don't exist with you having to go to one specific place to experience it.

Papi said it best, when I need my car fixed I got to my mechanic; teeth cleaned, go to my dentist; and when I need to feel up on same ass and titties I go to my strippers.

He likes his dentist but he's not asking him to hang out
georgebailey
9 years ago
You're supposed to have fun and spend money. That's all. It's a hobby not a career. If you're getting emotional or not having fun, you need to get out and move on.
MrDeuce
9 years ago
The club he mentioned that's 90 minutes away is the Hip Hugger in Kokomo. The one that's only 20 minutes from his house is Dancers on the west side of Indianapolis. You can believe me, a *very* frequent visitor to each, when I tell you that they're both *strip* clubs, not show clubs! How do I know? Because almost every dancer I've ever gotten lap dances from at either place has tried -- successfully, in general -- to give me a lapgasm. This is not the behavior of an air-dancing ROB at a show club. Dancers and Hip Hugger girls aim to please! However, in my dozens of visits over the years I have managed not to fall in love with any of them. I do feel sorry for this guy, but he's definitely better off staying away from strip clubs until he can get over his emotional attachment to sex workers.
Papi_Chulo
9 years ago
I think the OP uses “showclub” just as a term he's familiar w/; not to imply it's a different type of club (perhaps English is not the OP's primary language; I would know as a White Hispanic).

Some of us takes us longer to learn our lessons; perhaps it'll take the OP longer to get there but hopefully he will – at least changing his # and thus ceasing contact (hopefully) with this dancer was a good move.

Yeah; dancers can be ROBs; but custies also have a responsibility for not being chumps – it's not right for someone to steal your car but that does not mean you should not be smart-enough not to leave the keys in the ignition.
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