BF frequents Asian Parlors - need male's perspective
Monday, November 16, 2015 7:59 AM
My boyfriend of 4 years just told me that he has once paid for a private dance by an Asian 'professional' at a sex store. He is 40 and I'm 36. He said it was to evaluate our relationship, and how much he appreciates me?! Does this make sense? He said whereas the girl was extremely sexy, he also felt how lucky he was that I am hotter than her. To him, it was just pure experience of seeing and touching a naked body (her boobs included) of another woman other than me. However, he didn't want to touch her 'nasty' pussy (so he said). So when he comes home to me, he'd appreciate me more. He said he never got a happy ending, and he would never pay for sex. He WOULD pay watching 2 girls pleasing each other for entertainment purposes, but he wouldn't pay someone for sex or a BJ. He couldn't get aroused. He said his penis didn't get hard while she was closely dancing for him. He just touched her skin because she looked soft. She asked if he wanted more than touching her. He said he had a girlfriend and she is very hot. After telling me about this experience, he also expressed how he would like for us to get a 'sexy' massage together. He'd like to have someone to be our 'toy' and pleasure both of us. I asked: so, you want a threesome? He said, no not a threesome, but a sexy, sensual, body rub. But if I were to enjoy her to pleasure me, he'd love to watch me. I told him I would entertain the idea of getting a couple sensual massage. Then he showed me ads from Backpage and Craigslist.
Last night I tried to role play and acted as if I was a professional and asked how he'd like it, a full service, I'd do whatever he'd pay me for. He immediately got turned off and said: "I do pay for sex!! That's why I never told you things! You always bring want to bring what I told you into our life. I told you I do not pay for sex. I want to keep my worlds separated! If I want a hooker, I can get that anywhere else! Stop wanting to act like a hooker!" ......needless to say, my feeling was hurt. But I told him, I thought it would turn him on so I wanted to role play. From this and his knowledge of Backpage and CL, I suspected that, he has done this more than just once. So, I did what I was not supposed to do. I looked the phone record. Sure enough he has called and texted 2 Asian Massage parlors that advertised on Backpage. Though I am not sure whether he visited one or not. My assumption is yes since he was coming home about 1:30 hours after the phone call.
About us, I'm pretty open when it comes to fulfilling his sexual needs. I enjoy watching porn and don't mind him watching it and masturbate to it when he is alone. I LOVE giving him blowjobs. As a matter of fact, I was the first person who gave him a BJ. He always said how amazing my BJ skill is. He told me about his kinky fantasies and I told him I'm down for it. Though we haven't pursued those fantasies. The only thing I have somewhat said no to is anal sex. But I told him I am willing to try if he wants to. So we tried, but it hurt. I told him it takes a lot of preparation to a butthole for anal sex to be pleasant. Upon that, he dismissed anal sex because it seemed like too much work. He loves Asian women. And I'm his first Asian he has ever had. I must add that everyone he knows said that I am pretty. I'm built very differently than your typical Asian women. I have a nice round ample butt and thick thighs. My breasts are small B, but perky. My stomach is flat - no pooch. Overall, I am built very fit, but curvy. He LOVES my butt. And he has expressed many times how lucky he is to have me. He has looked but there are no other Asians that are built like me. He said I am perfect. My vagina is tight and pretty. I squirt a LOT every time I come. I love talking dirty while we have sex. I'm loyal. He fully trusts me. I carry myself very well. He always said I look classy sexy. I'm a great cook. He always has a great meal waiting for him after a hard day of work. I own a real estate company and make my own money. I can hold intelligent conversations. I don't flirt with other men behind his back (and definitely not in front of him) as I find it to be disrespectful toward him. I would think I fully satisfy him sexually. .....or at least, that's what I think until I found out about his visits to Asian massage parlors.
So....now I'm confused and asked myself: "Am I not enough?" Even though he said he only wouldn't pay for sex and have anyone touched his private part, can I really believe that? I think I just want to understand him and the psychology behind it. What is missing in us that he gets from the massage parlor? Is that something I can do to fulfill that need? Or is it something he doesn't want to or can get from his partner?? He said it was for entertainment purposes and the experience of it. But I feel it is more to it than that. I tried to ask him in the past if there was anything he would like to do and make our sex life better. He said nothing. It is perfect as is. Maybe the only thing he would like to do is to watch me being pleased by another woman. To which, I have expressed my discomfort. Any opinion will be very appreciated. Thank you.
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