Can a man ever be faithful over the long term?
JohnSmith69
layin low but staying high
I was discussing this with a stripper at a restaurant last week. She was commenting upon the fact that almost all of her customers besides me are married men. And none of them were at the club with their wives. In other words, it's fairly certain that most (if not all) of these married men can't tell their wives that they go to strip clubs. And these men almost all ask her for sex. This was clearly causing her concern over whether she could ever trust a husband to be faithful to her over the long term. She was using faithful not only in the sense of not fucking other women but also in the sense of not going to strip clubs and getting lap dances without her knowledge.
This discussion took place in a restaurant that was crowded with mostly middle aged and older couples. Throughout dinner, I noticed several of the men staring at my young girl. This was not only because she's beautiful, but she had on this amazingly sensual but casual outfit with her shirt unbuttoned half way down her chest. Our young waiter was also clearly into her, and stood at her side longer than good service would require. I noticed him looking down her shirt twice. The room full of mostly married men lusting after my date gave further meaning to her concerns about male fidelity.
A similar sentiment was expressed by dancer95 a while back. I think she said that she would make her husband wear a condom because she knows what perverts all men are and that they can never be trusted not to cheat.
Also, when I was with the DS, she got hit on by married men constantly. We would be walking down the street and some older guy with a wedding ring on would come up and start talking to her. And I'm with her at the time. It happened frequently. I should mention though that she was often dressed in stripper-like attire when this happened. But still they are trying to pick her up when she is already with a guy and they are married. It sometimes made me embarrassed to be a male because they are all so pathetically horny. And married men are the horniest of all I think.
So back to my question. Do these experiences demonstrate that a man can never be trusted to be faithful? Or is the view of a stripper on male fidelity warped and biased because of her job?
Here is what I told my stripper. I told her that some men can be trusted long term to be faithful to their wife if and only if the wife consistently meets their sexual needs over the long term. This doesn't just mean having sex with him, but also requires the wife to be sexually creative and fulfill her husband's fantasies. In other words, a wife needs to act just like my strippers in bed. Some men want to be faithful to their wife but it's not realistic to expect faithfulness over the long term unless she meets our deepest sexual desires. There are simply too many opportunities for a man to be satisfied sexually outside of marriage for a woman to expect fidelity if she won't be her man's sexual freak.
Then we went back to my hotel, and she was my complete and total freak, fulfilling my every desire. It's what I always wanted and never thought I could possibly have.
Here's a thought. What are the odds, in 20/30 years, that she will be this kind of freak for her husband? I bet there is a good chance that she, like many women in their 40s/50s, looses much of her interest in sex. Wouldn't it be sad if she used her best sexual energy on me, and I ended up with better sex than her husband? Sad for him I mean. I'm having the time of my life.
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Some men have low sex drives. My civvy's husband, for one. She's sexy and giving and he just is not that interested in sex.
But especially over 20 years or more, monogamy isn't that natural, even for women. But for many women it's easier to just give up on sex.
Really though, 20 years is a good run.
I don't feel the need to justify my behavior to anybody. I just share what I think and feel like others. Judge if you want, I don't give a shit.
But I do honestly think that the vast majority of men eventually cheat, particularly given the definition of cheat that I used in the post. Yes you can argue that hanging out with perverts here and in strip clubs has distorted my perception. But the clubs just reflect society. And there's lots of other evidence. Look at porn. Every guy on earth practically watches it, including the self righteous religious nuts. And look at politicians and stars. The most conservative family values people end up doing shit with whores that are beyond what lots of us do here. If this is what the moralistic people are doing, what does that say about the rest of society? Look at my PL of the year award nominees. Most guys are pathetic losers who live for pussy.
There are many faithful people, but we are in a world that has many unfaithful people. Husbands going to strip clubs behind their wives back, strippers doing extras behind their husbands back, easy to be cynical that no one is faithful.
There was this bar, which is now closed, that I used to semi-frequent in National City, CA which is a San Diego suburb where there would be a ton of middle-aged women there on weekends. Most black and Asian women. I used to chat and run some game on them. San Diego is a very big Navy city. At least half of them said that they were married or in a relationship but their husbands would be deployed out to sea. Of course I smashed a few of them and know of some of my friends that laid up with them as well.
So yeah, women are just as bad as men from my experiences. They are just much better at keeping it a secret.
I'm a twentysomething lady in the streets but freak in the sheets. I've been that way since I was a very young teenager. I can promise that my men are always satisfied- and so am I. I don't put up with subpar sexual relationships and I have been told in good natured joking that I have the sex drive of a teenage boy. Can I remain faithful, either? Mostly I find myself in complete disbelief that I'll ever be one of these dowdy middle- aged people ( notice I said people, not women) who just doesn't give a shit. I'm too vain, too pleasure-driven, raised by parents who are health and fitness obsessed and at times seem as young as I am. I also know they're faithful to each other, and I'm not all that surprised.
True unless he clubs at follies or lives in Detroit lol
It's really just how people were raised, how seriously they take their vows, and how much they trust and respect each other. Sure, there's been cheating since the concept of marriage and monogamy came into being, but since the sexual revolution back in the '60s and '70s, a lot of people seem to have taken that as permission to slip off the leash every now and again.
The sexual revolution was also a really major reminder that, no, human beings are not monogamous animals. It's hardwired in us to seek out and mate at most every possible time. It's only our social mores that softwired us into believing that we have to be monogamous and faithful, to a crippling and agonizing fault.
Personally I view the issue like Jack does. I'm faithful to all of my strippers while I'm with them. Got three dates in the next five days. Beats monogamy any day in my book.
Fear makes a lot of men (and women) faithful.
Sadly, if I was married to Giselle, Taylor Swift, Jennifer Love Hewitt, etc etc and they fucked my brains everyday I'm still not sure I could remain faithful, I'm just not wired that way. Ill never forget when I was with my retired ATF who was wearing a thong bikini at a Vegas pool party, and every single guy and girl was staring a her.... I was still checking out other women, right there and then I realized I have some real fucking problems!
18 years and our physical and emotional bond continues to grow. If you find the right person you never have to think about it. It just happens naturally.
I agree with sclvr5005 - a lot of men by the age of 50 or so have "let themselves go," therefore losing attraction from their wives, so their wives don't want to fuck them anymore and they must go elsewhere, often to a prostitute, because it would be hard for them to snag a hot "civvy" for free if they're not as attractive as they once may have been.
I also agree with Lopaw about the hot 40/50 year old women who have found younger, hotter men to play around with.
And there are plenty of married couples who respect each other enough to keep each other happy aesthetically and sexually. Communication is important. There are plenty of middle-aged married men who would agree that a young girl in her 20s is very attractive, but still would look and not touch. Some men (and women) take their vows seriously. Good for them!
Although I will admit, I've been a bit jaded by the stripper world, but I disagree with people who think strip clubs are a direct reflection of society; strip clubs are the sexual extreme of society, not a norm. Most women aren't strippers and most men don't get extras at strip clubs on a regular basis.
When I get married I will have sex with my husband until his penis stops working. Being a stripper has taught me that sex is very important in most marriages.
SJG
Muddy Waters
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ltLHsD_A…
...unless they are crazy. Daddy issues in particular.
Meanwhile I've never had a bad bj from a fat girl.
For every hot woman there's a man tired of fucking her.
This doesn't mean her BF/SO is actually tired of fucking her. What he's tired of is putting up with her shit. Maybe she's high maintenance, constantly bitching or complaining, lazy, slob, not emotionally involved in the relationship, spending them into the poor house, the list goes on and on.
People don't get tired of fucking. People get tired of dealing with someone they don't have a lot in common with anymore. A wife has kids, let's herself go and loses her sexual desire so her husband steps out. Well, it could be that the husband has put on 100lbs, never helps around the house, never says anything nice or makes her feel loved so they both end up drifting apart and before too long you have an emptiness between them filled with indifference and even disdain. Before they know it 10+ years have gone by.
It's not that hot people are bad in bed. It's the fact that to be good in bed (unless you're simply a PRO doing a job) you need to try and have some sort of connection with the person your with.
Equating church going with faithfulness is a crock of shit. Once again, quit reading online and join the real world. I was a good little church boy half my life and have seen numerous religions. You want to experience decadence? Go out with some goody-two-shoes church people on Saturday night.