"
•you need to treat her with respect (don't treat her like a stripper)
•don't spend money on her ITC
"
Now Ranukam, you've written two articles about this same basic idea. You even said before that you'd been going out with civilians only to have them say that you are treating them like strippers.
I take it that what you and they really mean is that you are treating them like prostitutes, but just instead saying strippers softens it.
And then you say don't spend money of them ITC. You've talked about this before too, and I've tried to present a different view.
I believe that part of what you mean is FS-ITC. Where you are, sounds like FS-ITC is only really offered in the dives. In the more upscale places, it is just for those who specially request it, if at all. So you mean don't request or push her for FS-ITC.
Okay, but if it is a place where that is standard, and if she is offering it, and if you want to be on good terms with her, I think you have to go along with her and partake.
And then likewise, if you just mean the basic booth dances, if she is offering I think you have to partake. You don't have to break the bank. But you can't totally refuse or you are insulting her and her occupation. Dances is how she pays her rent.
Unfortunately, if you can't afford to play, it is better not to even be there.
Now, treating her like a stripper, besides that meaning treating her like a prostitute, I also think it means treating her like she is an easy pickup, making a game out of it, and keeping score. When you talk about bagging them, here and in your articles, this is what you are doing.
Let me repeat a story I have told before, of one of my first strip club experiences, the first time I tried to get outside contact.
This was at the Sunnyvale Brass Rail. Their girls were kind of tough looking, hard living people. Not quite as much so today. But anyway, I found that there was this one Cathy, who not different from the others, I could still see a softer side to her. I saw her as a Farm Girl.
So, as is the custom there, I got her to sit down for a drink. I talked about myself in a quite matter of fact way, basically just letting her know that I had a job. Then I suggested that we might go out some time.
"I don't go out with customers."
Now today I understand better that she was responding that way because of all the P4P offers. Back then I took is more to mean that she was not an easy pickup. But I still took it as an offense against my honor. So just instinctively I took a cocktail napkin and wrote my full name and home telephone number ( back before cell phones ) on it and handed it to her.
On her feet now she took it and held it out at arms length and said, "Well okay." Then looking right at me, "You don't understand, I get hit on by 50 guys a night."
Again, I took that as a slight against my honor. I decided it best to let it roll off and depart before it got any worse.
I worked and came home around 10pm the next day. And there was her voice on my answering machine, "I want to SEE you."
I had just plain forgotten about the whole matter. Now what to do. She was at the Brass Rail. I was tired and had to get up early the next day. The last thing I wanted to do was go then to the Brass Rail. Not sure what she really had in mind, but it occurred to me that if she had known my address she might have been intending to show up at 2am.
I was stupid. I had not intended to be one of those 50 guys, just trying to hit on her to see if I could do it. But I had not thought through where I was going to take her and how to reconcile work schedule issues. So I had nothing specific to offer her. And also, I had been inadvertently baited into making more of this than I had intended. In fact I was just trying my luck with her, and so without intending to be so, I was one of those 50 guys.
And likewise, she did not want to be an easy pickup, but that is exactly what she was being.
My point is that as long as you are just hitting on them to see if you can do it, and then bedding them for the same reason, then you are treating them as strippers.
With other Brass Rail girls I would find the same thing in years which followed. Girls who responded to me because I was being straight and open with them, and not trying to set up P4P, and then them calling me on the phone, and me not actually being prepared to follow through on what I had set in motion. And then the obvious hurt feelings.
SJG
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