The Attractive Power of Kindness

Feeling a bit philosophical after a particularly good experience the other night.
As a man who's left his youth behind and who is not particularly good looking, I've had the experience (like we've all probably had) of walking into clubs and noticing that many of the other customers are young, buff, and suave. For a long time, I was convinced that strippers could never actually be attracted to me--even a little. I've to come a realization that this is not really true.
Though money is obviously what dancers are primarily after, us guys should ever underestimate how much women can be attracted to guys who are respectful, interesting, and funny. A good personality can almost completely make up for being older. And this is a really nice thing to discover. Treating women with respect can also open them up to extras and OTC experiences, and in many cases they'll enjoy the experience. They'll also genuinely prefer to be with you over those 21-year-old guys who can't carry a conversation.
Good news indeed. Carry on.
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last comment"A good personality can almost completely make up for being older".
Actually money does the job.
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One reason I love strip clubs is that I am far more successful in getting sex from beautiful young women there than are the guys who still have their youthful good looks. Many (probably most) strippers genuinely prefer older customers to the young guys. The fact that we usually have more money than ylthe youngsters is obviously a key factor. However, dancers also value maturity and the other attributes that the OP mentioned. I know many young women, strippers and non -strippers who don't like mist guys their own age because they are so immature. These other non-monetary factors can be particularly helpful, along with cash, in getting a dancer OTC who is selective about who she "dates." Those wonderful daddy issues also work to our benefit.
OK Dougster I've now set you or one of your aliases up to ridicule us for thinking that prostitures care about anything other than cash.
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Right. Money is obviously the primary thing. My main general point, however, is that an age difference does not necessarily prevent friendship, attraction, etc.
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IronFox22: "Treating women with respect can also open them up to extras and OTC experiences, and in many cases they'll enjoy the experience. "
Just keeping kidding yourselves that it's about more than money. Hey, that's what they want you to believe to keep the money flowing.
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I'm drinking the same Koolaid as iron fox and js69. There is no other explanation as to our success. I've met js69 and neither one of us are going to make the "bachelor" show, but we've proven girls have always cared about more than looks. Strippers and civies. I would argue they care about more than money though it is certainly a motivator and often opportunity maker. One would have to experience the quality OTC experience to understand and believe.
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"I'm drinking the same Koolaid as iron fox and js69. There is no other explanation as to our success. I've met js69 and neither one of us are going to make the "bachelor" show, but we've proven girls have always cared about more than looks. Strippers and civies. I would argue they care about more than money though it is certainly a motivator and often opportunity maker. One would have to experience the quality OTC experience to understand and believe."
Absolutely brilliant post! I believe that most people have a lot of good in them! Some people lose track of that or suppress it! Others stumble! But the blanket characterization of strippers as interested in NOTHING except money is non-brilliant!
IronFox22, JohnSmith69, and bubba267 you're all brilliant guys! :)
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In addition, keep in mind that there's a higher percentage of women in the strip club who are attracted to older men, than in the general population. If I'd passed Psychology 101 in college, I'd have postulated that the commonality of very poor experiences with their fathers, which sometimes is part of what leads them to stripping, is also responsible for their attraction to older men. But my real-life experiences certainly seem to be 10000% aligned with the idea that the % of strippers attracted to older men is far higher than in the general population of women. Or at least not as grossed out by it.
None of which means I seriously think they're sexually attracted to me minus the money. Although, I've had a small handful of ATFs turn into non-paying friend or friend-with-benefits situations. Even there, I'm not sure about bona fide sexual attraction, as much as a kind of mentor-mentoree relationship that they're grateful for, and confusing that with sexual attraction
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Sure, strippers are human, so good looks, a big dick, and kindness might turn them on, but money will always be the key if you want to hit a home run.
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Hey, alucard also believed that "kindness" was of primary importance. Look where he wound up,
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Dougster, I don't think anybody is arguing that strippers aren't interested in money! After all, they're doing a job! IronFox22, JohnSmith68, bubba267 that they might want to have the experience be a bit more pleasant that some d-bag spending money on them but treating them like shit! Say, somebody treating them like a human being and paying them! ;)
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As long as you meet the Burger King Criteria you'll be find. What's the Burger King Criteria? Is your behavior, hygenine, way you dress satisfactory to get you served at Burger King? If "yes" your fine with with any stripped who does extra/OTC provided you have the money. Anything beyond that makes no difference and it's just you kidding yourself that you "still got it" because you have a need to be in denial like that.
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Not saying that she needs to be attracted to you enough to start dating you or anything even close to that. All I'm saying is that girls respond more to good conversation and respectful personalities more than men, who are more likely to be almost entirely focused on looks.
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I'll have to ask a stripper if I gave her nightmares just mentioning something I dreamed of.
I dreamed I was with a party of about 5 or 6 and I was bringing up the rear only armed with a small survival knife. One which I do own. Anyway our party was attacked by a huge invisible spider about 7 ft tall. One tentacle was sucking the brains out of someone standing next to me. The spider had some kind of invisible flexible force field. A light stabbing wasn't breaking it. I had to stab hard but got lucky and stabbed it right in the brain. Dead. The local villagers were thrilled because it had been terrorizing the village for months. It became visible upon death.
I was trying to sleep with a horror movie on I hadn't seen. Not a great idea because the movie was actually somewhat spooky.
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Here's my tip if you guys are serious about up'into your OTC/extras chances: quit sweating if you are "acting" right (running RickyBoy's System correctly), it just doesn't matter if you have cleared the Burger King Criteria. The one thing that will up your chances is to ask the very best looking girls: 8s and higher.
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If she says she had nightmares, I will tell her you're welcome. Kindness.
It was like I was part of an ordinary Dungeons and Dragons party of 5 armed with knives and swords.
Now how watching a horror movie with a possessed doll and a ghost or two transforms in my dream to a huge invisible spider, no one knows. Maybe because ghosts don't scare me very much but a huge spider can really hurt you especially if it's invisible and has a bit of a flexible force field.
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I want to dream like sharkhunter.
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dougster for the win.
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Dougster, it must be sad to go through life always being so angry and bitter with women. You need a dream stripper worse than anyone here but you'll never get one because of your attitude.
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+1 Dougster
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Actually JohnSmith69 it must be sad to have had your bad experiences and limited experience with normal women that you can't tell the difference between them and strippers. I, OTOH, can tell the difference and in this thread we are talking about strippers not normal women.
Please try and keep up in the future, 'kay?
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JS69 projecting his bad feelings about women due to his disasterous marriage onto others?
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It's always about the bejamins. Never kid yourself. Yeah you could be a nice polite old codger, but at the end of the day she's going home with her 24 yo unemployed pot smoking useless BF. You not being a creep just makes it more tolerable on her part. Put down the kool aid cup.
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In general....
Here's something to think about:
Guys - go for a woman's looks and that's about it. It doesn't really matter how crazy she is or if she is successful. If she's a 10 she can get away with just about anything and guys will line up down the street ready to replace her current love interest.
Girls - want money, the guy to be funny (aka) entertain them, the guy to be successful and give the girl protection. Every girl puts those priorities in different order, but looks are way down on that priority list for most women. How else do you explain that all the ugly guys in Med School were already locked up even before they finished their undergrad but the handsome guys that went to the guy everyday with the education degrees are still 32 and single?
I'm not sure how strippers generally fall into this equation, but if you can entertain them and make them feel safe while they're with you, this will probably make them enjoy (or in some cases tolerate) the experiences your share with them a lot easier while they are taking your money.
In rare instances while courting a stripper she may fall for you (no matter what your age difference is) and the money exchange may get pushed way down on the priority list. In all my years of OTCing this has happened ONCE and that was only because the stripper I was with truly believed there was potential for the real relationship between us. NOTE: I still had my youth, I was 31 years old.
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What are the chances that Scat and JS69 have the same divorce lawyer?
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In an effort to bridge the gap somewhat in the two views, I think there's often a distinction between ITC and OTC that hasn't been clearly recognized in the comments to date. ITC, I agree that it's almost all about money and the factors listed by the OP may often have very little to do with the service provided. However, when developing an OTC relationship with an attractive lower mileage dancer who is selective in who she does OTC with, the factors listed by the OP are critically important. Dougster's cynicism notwithstanding, many of these type of dancers will not meet OTC just because a guy offers to pay her price.
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^^^ clueless
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Need to believe, huh, JS?
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indeed. she will only meet guys that offer to pay her price and arent revolting.
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JS69,quit while you're ahead.
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Dougster and the asshole stripper boyfriend disagree with me. My viewpoint must be even better than I originally thought.
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Keep watering down your "viewpoint" JS. You're getting closer!
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JustStupid69,quit chasing your tail ya dumbass tick hound.
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I know, don't feed the trolls. Sorry.
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I agree w/ the OP in the context of strip clubs – but SCs are bizarro world and 99% of the interactions within them are not real in the sense they are only/mainly possible b/c the custy is spending $$$.
IMO – try going to a regular non-SC bar and see how successful the characteristics of an older man play on hot 20-somethings in a regular-bar/non-SC-environment.
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A stripper would rather make a couple of hundred from a nice, respectful; guy; vs making the same $$$ from an asshole – but IMO if she has to choose b/w making $50 from the nice respectful guy or $500 from the asshole; more often than not IMO she'll choose the asshole.
All things being equal (i.e. making the same $$$); sure IMO they would rather make the same $$$ from a nice guy than an asshole but o/w her affections will often go to the highest bidder and not the nice respectful guy.
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Run, JohnSmith, run! Yah, fuckin' little homo!
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^exactly. being nice and respectful has nothing to with it. if you want to treat them with kindness and respect, thats great(i do) but really that shit doesnt matter. all they care about is how much money you have and are willing to spend on them.
if you were to ask me, the only reason they see old guys otc is they think it might be a better investment long term, you know that whole logic about old guys have more money and shit.
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Does The System have a chapter on this?
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All things being equal the nice guy is going to come out ahead most of the time.
Papi I often go to a non strip club bar, on the intra coastal in Deerfield beach and some of us old guys seem to meet some 8.5 and better civvie woman but our definition of hot does not include 20 year old girls most of the women are between 28 and 42 and trust me they are hot beyond words.
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P.S. Also a few clubs (also strip clubs) in Fort Lauderdale as well
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that should have read (also not strip clubs) sorry about the typo
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" try going to a regular non-SC bar and see how successful the characteristics of an older man play on hot 20-somethings in a regular-bar/non-SC-environment."
Bingo.
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I'm sorry but I cannot relate as I am...hold on let me get my reading glasses; "young, buff, and suave"
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^ no that would be me.
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In regards to OP, what if you're competing with a 21 year old who CAN hold a conversation. These days, young people start careers far faster than they did back in the 70s. We cal them meritocratic.
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If you show them lots of grants or Benjamins, they think you're a really nice guy that they could like.
Just ask the agents that spent $2000 per visit to a strip club to bust the club.
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It really is all about the money.
I get to hear a lot of stripper yabber about old men customers that you guys will typically never hear, and trust me - you wouldn't like it.
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@lopaw what do they say about the young bucks?
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there you have it. would lopaw just make this up?
esta, its probably mostly about the money too with the young bucks. they might just be a little less grossed out.
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@Estafador - that they are usually good for nothing more than a good fuck. Sounds like a win!
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Well that's not fair. I'm pretty sure every establishment that the PLs on here go to, all the young bucks are filled to the brim with money and good looks? Why are we good for nothing, we got jobs and a 401K plan? sob sob
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@chessmaster - believe me I have no vested interest in making anything up. The only reason that I let them vent and yammer on about shit like that is because if I look interested or let them cry on my shoulder I get a better lapdance.
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@Estafador - I thought that you'd be happy about that. Just add good looks, money & a solid 401K and you can have a baby mamma strippah that will give you nothing but grief and drama for the rest of your life!
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I have yet to live the experience of a stripper boyfriend. I hope to make it a good learning experience. Everybody's gotta do it at least once right?
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It's cruel to be kind....
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"Just add good looks, money & a solid 401K and you can have a baby mamma strippah that will give you nothing but grief and drama for the rest of your life!"
And how us that different than any other woman? :)
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"they are usually good for nothing more than a good fuck".
so wait, if im young, buff and suave, and have money i should be getting major stripper pussy. i must not be running the system right.
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estator, just tell her your 401k got restricted because you did 500k or even a million dollars in trades this year and then tell her the company you work for doesn't want you to make hardly any money in your retirement account. She'll think you're loaded without likely having any clue you can't touch your 401k account until you retire or quit. This might work if you're in your 60's though. She'll hear, "a million dollars"' blah, blah, blah blah.
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Theoretically, chessmaster......yes.
System.Needs.Tweaking.
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Js69 is not all wrong - tonight I went out with a 26 y.o. Stripper who's been on leave for 6 months, primarily for health reasons. I've known her since she started dancing at 20. I've done itc VIPs with her and OTC hotel sex. I've never paid her for OTC directly, but have sent her $100 or $200 several times when she needed it. I've always thought this was her way of not being a whore in her own mind. She has one regular who sends her money weekly but he's a total loser with very deep pockets. He rarely has sex with her if at all. He's a religious nut who thinks he's sinned when she touches his pee pee. She has another regular who's a paraplegic, totally paralyzed below the waist who.pays her to snuggle.
Tonight the extent of our interaction was getting blasted and kissing. As I was going to leave she asked if next time we could get a hotel. I said I was cash strapped and she volunteered that she had plenty of points with a high end hotel chain and she'd get the room and I'll get dinner. She doesn't want money. She claims we "connect" on a higher level. I'll be 70 next month and said to her, " you should be out fucking young hot guys. Why me?" Her response: I've had my fill of supposedly young hot guys. They play games with my head, they're immature, and I prefer being with you. You make me laugh. You make me feel better about myself. I love being with you. And you eat pussy so perfectly, you make me cum over and over"
Now, I do think that she's got some mental health issues and have questioned whether her reality is the same as mine. But tonight she was lucid, clear thinking, and extremely forthright. I had told her that I had to leave by 10:00 to take care of my wife and as I prepared to go she told me that she wanted me for a full night.
I'm no stud. I'm 6'1" and weigh 230. I expect to have to pay for sex with hot young chicks. But kindness, understanding, respect, and friendship have opened a pathway for me which I'm enjoying very much.
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Kindness doesn't get you anywhere in the business world.
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I'm guessing there's little doubt about where I stand in this one, but to clarify:
When I, a 50+ fat guy, walk into a club, and the top earner there leaves the young, way hotter than me, whale she's with, who will literally spend $200 at the bar, without even touching her, to ask me, the guy who will spend less than $50, and still want to grope her everywhere, not to leave while she assuages the young guys ego enough to "let" her leave him, there's more than just money involved.
The PLs (including myself) will never believe it's only money, and the cynics will never believe it's anything else, and ne'er the twain shall meet.
The truth, of course, is somewhere in the middle.
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"the truth of course is somewhere in middle".
thats probably more accurate.
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