tuscl

Lowest of the Low: share Your Club Lowlights

shailynn
They never tell you what you need to know.
Thursday, August 13, 2015 6:18 AM
Dancer quality and normal fights aside, what are some of the shittiest things you've seen in a low end club. I've been in dumps from Toronto to New Mexico and certainly have seen my share. Nowadays I avoid them all together and spend an evening watching a movie in my hotel room when on the road! 1. Not uncommon, but how shitty is it when the dancer has to pay a jukebox to be able to dance to make money? 2. I've been in a club that only served bud light cans (free with cover), red bull and bottle water. That's it and this wasn't a byob establishment. 3. One club gave a hand towel to each dancer when they went upstairs to the lap dance area, because they knew it was gonna get messy. 4. Gravel or dirt parking lots, almost always a sure tell sign you're at a shithole. 5. One club, the entire staff appeared to be on heroin with the exception of the doorman, he was just drunk. 6. A fight breaks out inside the club, 1 table gets broken, then the owner gets the two guilty parties outside to prevent any further damage, and encourages everyone in the bar to go outside and watch the rest of the fight in the parking lot. 7. When the kitchen is a vending machine selling Doritos and candy bars. 8. One time a beat dancer was bugging me then she had to go on stage. A cute dancer takes her place and I was actually planning on getting some lappers. Not so fast... Dancer on stages exits the stage in the middle of her set and proceeds to beat on the dancer sitting with me. Staff breaks it up, but all the other dancers and regulars are laughing at the battered dancer. She was new and I doubt she ever went back. 9. When the girl behind the bar is: house mom, bartender and VIP attendant all in one.

20 comments

  • shadowcat
    •
    9 years ago
    10) drinks served in plastic cups 11) DJ arrives with a card board box full of tapes 12) 300 lb dancer covered with tats and missing teeth is on stage and 2 guys are shoving dollar bills up her pussy.
  • farmerart
    •
    9 years ago
    @shadowcat, Your #12..........you really saw that shit in a club somewhere? Is there a tuscl review?
  • shadowcat
    •
    9 years ago
    farmerart - the club was Pleasers on Bluff Rd in Columbia SC. It has been closed for many years.
  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    No review, shadowcat was one of the culprits! Lol oh sorry meant "hehe"
  • shadowcat
    •
    9 years ago
    I couldn't get out of there fast enough. The manager pleaded with me to stay "I know you are here for the girls". My tires spun on the gravel parking lot. :)
  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    ^^^ I know, on a list these all seem like minor annoyances, but if you've been in a place that's doing any of these, it's not too soon after you've witnessed this "strip club fouls" that you say to yourself "what the fuck am I doing here?" 13. VIP room was a dark room with 2 couches with a sheet thrown overtop each. Dancer put on a CD in a mini boom box and it kept skipping.
  • billyba
    •
    9 years ago
    So if the dives such but I get much more annoyed but shit "high end" clubs do ( mostly various derivatives of fucking you out of money at every turn for everything but breathing and/or stickup super bitchy dancers).
  • billyba
    •
    9 years ago
    ^^*** "some of the dives suck...."
  • rickdugan
    •
    9 years ago
    15. The bathroom is so disgusting that it is more hygienic NOT to use the sink to wash up. 16. Getting serviced while sitting on a metal chair in a partitioned room while two other guys are sitting on metal chairs, no more than 6 feet away, also getting serviced. 17. A club where the girls start at moderately obese and move up the weight scale from there. 18. Where several guys are sitting at the bar getting HJs from girls holding napkins, all the while there are napkins already littering the side walls of the club. 19. A club in which nobody speaks English and the stage dancer's pussy smells so bad that you get a whiff of it from a bar seat several feet away. 20. Where you order a common brand liquor and they pull a bait and switch with swill than can barely be choked down. Idk shailynn, but after some of the things I've seen over the years, most of your annoyances seem kinda' minor or tame by comparison.
  • jackslash
    •
    9 years ago
    I walk into the men's room, and a dancer is in there on her knees giving a guy a blowjob.
  • warhawks
    •
    9 years ago
    ^^^ that was you when I was in the men's room??? At least you could have had the decency to knock next time. Lol!!! ;)
  • runrdude
    •
    9 years ago
    Dancer telling me that she met her new boyfriend at a methadone clinic and then offering extras.
  • tumblingdice
    •
    9 years ago
    I went into PP Cola to bust my girls balls.The manager sheepishly asked me to leave.For shits and giggles I asked for my $3 back.When I turned to leave I made a move towards the manager.That son of a bitch jumped into the rafters.Yeah,guess what,I'm not allowed in there anymore.
  • shailynn
    •
    9 years ago
    Ricky I think you win the shittiest club tour. I did forget to mention one time in a men's room I saw crickets and a toad. Needless to say I think I peed in the parking lot instead. We have all been to a shitty club, just some more often than others.
  • JohnSmith69
    •
    9 years ago
    Jack, what club was that? And did you get the dancers name? I went to a club once where the dancer stuffed my used condom in a crack behind the couch. She said that's where all the dancers put them.
  • ATACdawg
    •
    9 years ago
    tumblingdice ??????? Your girls had balls to bust? Man, we had NO idea! ;-0
  • Quemafia
    •
    9 years ago
    Not my place to really judge someone. But seen a dancer once who was a burn victim and her partner was a midget. I was to weirded out to even leave a courtesy sympathy tip
  • DandyDan
    •
    9 years ago
    It isn't whether the club has a gravel parking lot, but whether it has potholes they ignore for years on end. There's one club I remember visiting where the dancers were expected to bring in their own CD's and play them on the club's CD player. I wonder how that would work now.
  • Mistah_Fetti_Morbuxxx
    •
    9 years ago
    Foxy Lady Lounge on Moreland Avenue in Atlanta. It's the shittiest strip club in the city and one of the shittiest clubs I've ever been to and that includes the clubs in the third world countries. The dancers are older, chubbier, and all busted looking. The parking lot has potholes all over the place and the lines have not been paved in what seems like forever. The building is a dump. Doors in the club are broken off of the hinges. I even seen a couple of cockroaches around the bar area. No bouncer or security during the day so anybody can stroll in there with a gun. The female bartender is also the house mom, manager, and VIP attendant. Unsurprisingly, there's hardly any customers so extras there are often a guarantee. Got my dick wet in there in a dark corner for only $50.
  • saer
    •
    9 years ago
    I've experienced 6 of the 9 things the OP listed. My favorite low point was in a club in northern Indiana. Right inside the door, there are signs everywhere proclaiming that weapons, gang colors, and biker cuts aren't allowed. The door guy frisked me and confiscated both of my EDC knives. I get inside, go up to the bar, and ask the bartender what kind of whiskey they have. She proceeds to hold up a bottle of tequila and a bottle of rum and ask me which one was whiskey. Then some dude comes over with a bottle of Jack and proceeds to pour me a drink, lets it overflow, and spills it in my lap. He apologizes...and does it again. Finally, he gets it right and says "this one's on the house". I say "I think the other two you spilled should be, too". To which he says "yeah, okay, whatever". Then he goes and sits down behind the bar and proceeds to take a nap. I sit there for a while and start to notice some thing that are a bit off. The mirrors behind the stage are all cracked. The HDTV in the corner isn't playing sports or a movie or anything like that - it's playing a documentary on the Communist revolution in Cuba. A girl comes up to me and asks my name. I tell her and ask her the same. Her name is "Sin", and I ask why she picked that name. She says "because I want to kill myself, but I don't because it's a sin".
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