Darwin wins Darwin Awards.

People have had sex with pit bulls, donkeys and even parrots, but this incident is on another level. Rupert Darwin, 59, kept a 12 foot alligator tied and blindfold for the last month, sexually assaulting the reptile multiple times a day. Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator Darwin is a relatively unknown fisherman who lives in the outskirts of the remote town of 400. Residents say he sticks to himself and described him as “odd.” Police responded after a man out of a nature hike happened to walk by Darwin’s house and saw Darwin having sex with the alligator in his backyard. The witness heard Darwin say, “next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done. Now you’re my bitch forever.” “It was the damn strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” the witness told police. “The gator didn’t even move. It was like it didn’t give a s**t that man was having sex with it.” Collier County Sheriffs responded and arrested Darwin on multiple counts of animal cruelty and one count of illegally keeping a wild animal. Excerpt from Darwin’s police statement: The gator tried to eat me and this was revenge, pure and simple. I don’t have no sexual attraction to gators, but I wanted to teach this bitch a lesson. I could have just killed her, but that would have been too easy. She was getting what she deserved. Darwin also told police he had planned to chop off the alligator’s tail and pull her teeth as part of his revenge scheme and had even considered performing noise torture on the reptile by playing what Darwin described as “nigger music” over and over. Darwin claimed the alligator had gotten a hold of his pant leg when he was fishing in a swamp and tried to drag him into the water. Darwin was able to escape without injury, but that had set his resolve to get revenge. The alligator is being treated for relatively minor injuries and is expected to be released back into the wild within a couple weeks.