Darwin wins Darwin Awards.

shadowcat
Atlanta suburb
People have had sex with pit bulls, donkeys and even parrots, but this incident is on another level.

Rupert Darwin, 59, kept a 12 foot alligator tied and blindfold for the last month, sexually assaulting the reptile multiple times a day.

Florida Man Arrested for Having Sex with an Alligator


Darwin is a relatively unknown fisherman who lives in the outskirts of the remote town of 400. Residents say he sticks to himself and described him as “odd.”

Police responded after a man out of a nature hike happened to walk by Darwin’s house and saw Darwin having sex with the alligator in his backyard.

The witness heard Darwin say, “next time you try to kill a man, you best get the job done. Now you’re my bitch forever.”

“It was the damn strangest thing I’ve ever seen,” the witness told police. “The gator didn’t even move. It was like it didn’t give a s**t that man was having sex with it.”

Collier County Sheriffs responded and arrested Darwin on multiple counts of animal cruelty and one count of illegally keeping a wild animal.



Excerpt from Darwin’s police statement:
The gator tried to eat me and this was revenge, pure and simple. I don’t have no sexual attraction to gators, but I wanted to teach this bitch a lesson. I could have just killed her, but that would have been too easy. She was getting what she deserved.

Darwin also told police he had planned to chop off the alligator’s tail and pull her teeth as part of his revenge scheme and had even considered performing noise torture on the reptile by playing what Darwin described as “nigger music” over and over.

Darwin claimed the alligator had gotten a hold of his pant leg when he was fishing in a swamp and tried to drag him into the water. Darwin was able to escape without injury, but that had set his resolve to get revenge.

The alligator is being treated for relatively minor injuries and is expected to be released back into the wild within a couple weeks.

17 comments

Latest

mikeya02
9 years ago
Kill him before he moves on to humans
jackslash
9 years ago
Q. What STD do you get from an alligator?
A. Gatoraids.

DoctorPhil
9 years ago
"Residents say he sticks to himself and described him as “odd.”"


always with the labels.
ATACdawg
9 years ago
I notice he didn't try getting a BJ!
MrBater2010
9 years ago
blindfold??
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Crazy shit
4got2wipe
9 years ago
This is seriously non-brilliant! I feel sorry for the alligator!

I wonder if he was also pulling a Bill Cosby on the alligator! Maybe crushing up some antihistamines and slipping the gator a Micky!

It would be brilliant to send the guy to Australia and point him towards a saltwater crocodile! I bet they wouldn't be so mellow!
4got2wipe
9 years ago
"I notice he didn't try getting a BJ!"

Brilliant!
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Funny he didnt try to get dome!
gawker
9 years ago
Jackslash +1
motorhead
9 years ago
He suffers from reptile dysfunction
EarlTee
9 years ago
Hoax.
ATACdawg
9 years ago
Lol, moto
crazyjoe
9 years ago
Moto...now that is fucken funny
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
Seriously. Every time I read a story like this I think "that's the most fucked up person on the planet." Then a week later I always read a story about a person who is even more fucked up.

So what could be more vile than a guy that repeatedly fucks an alligator? I have no idea, but we'll find out next week.
JohnSmith69
9 years ago
And his name is Darwin. That's really funny. I wonder if there's a video on you tube?
PhantomGeek
9 years ago
Maybe over on YouPorn.
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