So my wife asked me this evening how I have managed to go without sex for the past several months while we've been separated. I couldn't think of any answer other than "I fuck a gorgeous 19 year old every week" which wouldve been a good answer except for what her divorce lawyer wouldve done with the information. So I said I didn't feel like talking about it. Anybody have a creative answer that I can use the next time that question is asked?
Replies (27)Latest
Answer with a question like "I could ask you the same thing"
"Porn."
The passive aggressive answer is "I'm getting the exact same amount of sex I used to."
^5 to all the answers!
Masturbating. Alot.
“I’ve been doing a lot of meditating”
“I’m a 50+ y/o guy and my libido is not what is used to be”
“I’m thinking of becoming a priest and dedicating my life to the needy”
I have been bizy
"None of your business, how have you been?"
Let's just say that my dick is Crimea, and my right hand is Putin
^ yes - the "heavy-handed" approach :)
i dunno - maybe after all those years of marriage i'm just not in the mood anymore
Say " I got this, I have been doing your job for you"
That is a hard question to answer with so little information about what is actually going on between you and your wife. I settled out of court in mandatory mediation. My ex tried to bring up my infidelity(She knew about my relationship with a stripper) and the mediator told her that had no bearing on the proceedings. BTW it was a female mediator.
My wife hates sex and assumes I'm trained by her to not be sexual. Yeah, right.
"I've had a headache for the past few months."
You could shrug and tell you have two hands.
"After you, who can compare?"
Are you legally separated, or just separated?
Porn
Let's put it this way: if I dressed my right hand up in blue, and spray-painted my dick black, people in Ferguson would be holding nightly demonstrations about it
Let's put it this way, my tube socks cower in fear each time I open the drawer
Let's put it this way, my internet browser history alone is illegal in 17 countries
Lol subraman. You could really go out on a limb and say you miss being intimate with her and try to have sex!
If you're in legal proceedings with her, there is no answer you can give that will do anything but cause you grief.
Resist the urge to say anything to boost your ego, hurt her feelings, or anything else that remotely answers the question. She's probably trying to bait you into saying something stupid.
We are "just separated" and not "legally separated." Nonetheless mroo has the correct legal answer. I did however appreciate the many funny suggestions. Hard to pick a fav but I think I'd choose the tube sock if I had to choose the funniest one.
Diva, I considered that but it's not feasible for a host of reasons that are too complicated to explain.
"How have you managed to go without sex for the past several months?" "Not very well."
"I’m thinking of becoming a priest and dedicating my life to the needy” - Brilliant! ;)
And just think, the priest answer won't cause problems for the divorce! That's what it's extra brilliant!
What it boils down to is do you want a divorce or not. If you want a divorce then tell her it is none of her business. If you don't want a divorce then lie. Don't let the fear of financial costs scare you. Your long run happiness is what you have to look at.
Thank you shadowcat. Good advice.
You should plead the 5th – anything can and will be used against you in a court of law
Join the conversation
Sign in to reply to this discussion.