Do you buy drinks for strippers?

avatar for ujay
ujay
I was at the Penthouse Philly and this stripper came and sat by me. She started a conversation. I was having a red bull after drinking a bottle of water because I had to get to work. Five minutes later she was still talking so I offered her a drink. She ordered a drink. After she had the drink, she found a lame excuse to go to smoke. She knows that I do not like cigarette smoke. She picked up the drink, lit a cigarette and went to another customer. I was pissed that I had bought a mixed drink for her to go to another customer. Next came a 19 year old stripper who obviously should not be drinking alcohol. We had a little conversation and decided to go for a dance. I offered her a drink. She told me that she ordered redbull and cranberry juice combination. I said OK, less money.

After the lapdance, I asked for my tab. Lo and behold! The first stripper had ordered a mixed drink with double shots that came to $16. The 19 year old stripper drink was a whiskey and sugar free drink on the receipt. She had taken only two sips and gave the drink to the bartender. I suspect that the bartender was in a racket to get a drink for herself knowing that this 19 year old stripper should not be drinking alcohol and had told me that she ordered red bull and cranberry juice. How will you handle this racket from the bartender who gave a 19 year old stripper alcoholic beverage? Would you take this matter up to management? I still have the receipts. Also, do you offer stripper drinks, if at all? Under what conditions do you offer stripper drinks? There are the stripper alcoholics that will take advantage of your kindness and order double shots as in my case. So, my red bull and water, and the two drinks for the strippers came to $47. I was enraged. I was also pissed that alcoholic beverage was served to a minor. How will you handle this situation.

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avatar for Diva1975
Diva1975
10 years ago
I'm not cheap by any means and I would be pissed too
avatar for GACA
GACA
10 years ago
^^^ never buy any girls drinks unless you're on an official date. If a stripper ask you for drinks she absolutely thinks very little of you. Next time just look them in they eye with a grin on your face and say "all my money goes to lap dances, I'm beyond selfish that way"

They won't waste your time.

and bullshit you were upset that sold alcohol to a minor for God's sake she's showing you her tits and ass obviously she's not so minor enough for that so get over yourself. You are upset because you were dumb enough to let herself get ripped off by one of the laziest stripper hustles ever and you feel like a dumbass and you should but learn your lesson and move forward :)

And I'll say it for Diva, "gettin custies to pay for drinks -- brilliant!!!"
avatar for Diva1975
Diva1975
10 years ago
LMAO again! Brilliant night GACA!!! I'm going to sleep with a smile!
avatar for JamesSD
JamesSD
10 years ago
This is such a wonderful case study for many reasons.

Let's start with PL rule #1. Leave your credit card at home. Never ever ever ever run your credit card at a club. If it was cash you would have known exactly what you were paying.

Don't offer strippers drinks. Stage tipping is far more cost effective. Or just buy LDs.

You have a legitimate complaint with how the non alcoholic drink was billed. You should have complained before you signed the receipt.

If you don't want to go back, call your CC company and dispute the charges. You probably won't be welcome in that club for a long while. Honestly, you git ripped off only for the non alcoholic drink. That's what, $6? Maybe this was a lesson to not treat a strip club with the same trust as you treat starbucks.
avatar for friction_lover
friction_lover
10 years ago
I typically buy drinks for regular girls, offers 15min to catch up before LD. I always pay cash. In your instance was clearly a hustle, part of the experience. When similar happens, I choose not to spend time with that dancer...plenty of others.
avatar for seyes
seyes
10 years ago
Same here .. I buy my ATF a drink sometimes before a dance. Its one way to get her more handsy during dances and spend some time catching up before heading in to the VIP!
avatar for seaboardrr
seaboardrr
10 years ago
We only buy drinks for our ATF and honestly I can't ever remember buying her more than 1 in any given night which runs us $6. She gets other guys to buy her drinks as she's making the rounds and then comes back and sits with us to drink and relax and shoot the shit. Like James said, never use a CC. Always use cash and never run a tab.

To answer your question though; if we were to get a new stripper to sit with us and chat we'd expect a decent amount of time. At least 10 minutes or more to get to know them a little. If she does't have a drink then yeah, we'd buy her a drink because if she's sitting with us we're probably leading up to a LD. Drinks at our SC are pretty cheap though compared to others I've read about.
avatar for jackslash
jackslash
10 years ago
I buy strippers drinks all the time. I'm a thoughtful and generous guy.

Dancers sometimes rip me off, which is only to be expected in a strip club. I've had girls ask for a drink and then immediately leave to chat with another PL. I've had girls order very expensive drinks and order a lot of drinks when I'm not really paying attention. My favs will often ask me to buy drinks for their friends. These are just more ways in which strippers separate us from our money. As long as they don't steal my car, I can put up with stripper shenanigans.
avatar for sharkhunter
sharkhunter
10 years ago
If a dancer I like has been sitting with me for 15 to 30 minutes or more I might buy her a drink. Seems kind of odd buying myself a drink and not getting her anything. However that's one thing I like about one of my favorites, she often doesn't drink or not much.
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
I rarely buy dancers drinks, and they rarely ask. Doesn't mean I won't buy one occasionally for an existing or developing fav, but just doesn't come up all that often. They seem content to just take my cash in exchange for their bodies.

On the few occasions I've been ripped off by dancers and drinks, I generally avoid those clubs in the future. I find management is usually aware of and either allows or encourages drink rip offs since the club makes lots of money from alcohol. Bad managment in one area usually means bad management in other areas as well.
avatar for warhawks
warhawks
10 years ago

Yeah. It's part of the whole strip club business.
If you don't buy a girl a drink and she's been talking to you for a while, then you'll get labeled as "cheap" and some of the dancers won't come talk to you. However, if you are buying a drink for every girl who sits down next to you and strikes up a conversation, you are being taken advantage of.

It's a delicate balance. And one that comes with experience.... the hard way, unfortunately.
avatar for shadowcat
shadowcat
10 years ago
Yes. I will buy drinks for my favorite girls at clubs where I know that there are no special dancer drink prices. I had one favorite about 12 years ago that kept a bottle in her locker. She said " I won't pay these prices for a drink and I wouldn't expect you to either". My ATF rarely ever had a drink ITC or OTC.
avatar for benaround
benaround
10 years ago
I like to know what kind of club I am dealing with before I buy drinks. There are clubs where getting guys to buy overpriced drinks for the dancers is part of their tip out and if they don't get a drink or two bought they pay. Hate over priced dancer drinks but will buy one if I am spending some time with a lady and especially if I am getting one for myself. There are other clubs where the dancers are all business and will never stop long enough to have a drink with you and talk before getting down to business - hate that too.

Finally there are clubs where the dancers drinks are the same as the customers and it is just a social decision. With the right lady it is a way to have them stay long enough to decide if I want to take them for a dance. If we do connect it is a way to keep them from drifting away to another table and sometimes they will loosen up a bit if it is early in the night. I am annoyed by having a dancer I want to move on insist on me buying them a drink and also I am annoyed when I buy a dancer a drink and she slams it down and leaves but better to find out she is a bitch over a drink than in the back room.
avatar for chandler
chandler
10 years ago
Um, yeah. How else am I supposed to slip her the roofie?
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
10 years ago
I personally always buy the girls drinks. It's one of the reasons I'm there -- I love getting drunk with the strippers.

Here's the thing though, I'm not a beta male or a doormat. I'm not going to let a 20-year-old-girl do whatever she wants, and then get butthurt when she treats me like a submissive little doggy. I always treat the girls respectfully, but when it comes time to order drinks, I'm very clear: "I'm buying shots of vodka ... if you don't want one, I'll get you a redbull or water. What would you like?". If she asks about ordering mixed drinks, I ask the waitress what they cost, and if it's more than the bottom-shelf vodka I drink, then the answer is no. I do the ordering, not her, I never let her order directly with the waitress. I have absolutely no shame over this -- I'd be ashamed if I let her roll me for a $20 drink, I'm not ashamed at all at setting my limit and sticking with it. And there is abso-fucking-lutely not shortage of strippers in the club who are thrilled to do shots of vodka/tequila/whatever with me. With one of my faves, I "pampered" her by, once per night, switching from the $3.50/shot vodka shots to $12/shot fireball shots. Once per night. She always got excited and made a big deal about it when the fireball shot came up.

So yes, I always buy her drinks. I do it to get drunk with her, and I do it just to be a decent person and let her have something to drink. But I am not a doormat, I put strict limits on what she can order (but do so with a friendly smile, and just tease her about how it's julio shots or redbull) -- and I always order our rounds myself. If I behaved like a doormat, I'd expect to get stepped on like one, no fair to whine about it afterwards.
avatar for Tiredtraveler
Tiredtraveler
10 years ago
If a dancer is sitting with me for a while chatting, having a good time and has not been asking continuously for money or lap dances I will buy her a drink, it compensates her for her time. Many clubs track dancer's drinks as part of the tip out. Many times I do not just go to a club to get dances etc. I go to pass an evening to relax look an naked girls chat with a few, maybe watch a game between and eventually get lap dances etc.
avatar for Subraman
Subraman
10 years ago
BTW, ujay, consider my rant above "tough love". Everyone, including me, has gotten rolled for expensive drinks one time or another. But it's "fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." I'm making the "beta male" references to psych you up to not let it happen again
avatar for Aaron_hip
Aaron_hip
10 years ago
Penthouse Philly is a hit-or-miss for me. I remember the last time I went there a few months ago. A young, pretty dancer kept insisting that I bought a shot from a shot-girl who's her friend (or something). I refused but said that I would be happy to spend the money on lap dances with the dancer. Then the dancer actually walked away from me saying I was cheap. It was one of my weirdest encounters. What kind of a dancer refuses to sell dance like that?
avatar for Lone_Wolf
Lone_Wolf
10 years ago
I enjoy drinking with and buying drinks for the dancers. While doing this, I've experienced just about every bad situation including buying water shots, drinks that they do not drink, dancers walking away as soon as they get the drink etc... The one that PO's me the most is when I buy a drink for a dancer, she takes one sip and then splits. I'm stuck staring at an $8 drink that will not be touched.

For the OP's situation - yea, you got burned for about 25 bucks. To me it just comes with the territory is not worth spending too much energy on it. I would neither complain nor raise it the attention of management. I'm in a club for fun, not drama.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
10 years ago
Ujay, yes that does sound like a racket.

Here in California the liquor license rules prevent the dancer's drinks from being priced higher, in a place with a liquor license.

But in general I am careful about being taped into for money by stuff like that.

But other times, sometimes dancers will just ask you to buy them a drink because they want to talk to you, get you to think they belong to you.

SJG
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
+ I don’t drink and when I club I like to get lots of dances from different dancers – so I prefer to use my funds for buying dances this way we both get something out of my $$$ (I get a dance; she gets my $$$)

+ as others; I’ve been burned by overpriced $20 dancer drinks that probably don’t have any alcohol in them to begin w/ (so it’s pretty much 100% profit for the club) – also been burned by the dancer asking for a drink and then bailing as soon as she gets it – and also w/ dancers ordering a drink and just taking 2 sips and leaving 99% of the drink and not drinking it

+ 99% of the time I don’t buy dancers a drink since I don’t spend much time w/ a dancer beyond getting dances – I get my dances and then I’m done and I’m looking for another dancer to get dances with (I don’t spend too much time conversing/shooting-the-bull w/ dancers)

+ I’ll buy drinks sometimes *after* a dancer has danced for me and I feel that she put in some work and danced well for me and I could see her working up a thirst from the dances she’s given me – and I will buy a dancer a drink in the rare times I am sitting/conversing w/ a dancer for an extended period of time

+ if a dancer asks me for a drink 30 seconds after she approached me; I say no – I’m not her fucking BF nor her date

+ I’ve had a few dancers give me the evil eye for not buying them drinks but they seem to still be willing to give me dances and take my $$$

+ too many dancers try to manipulate custies into buying them everything from drinks, to food, to cigarettes – and w/ many of these dancers; the more one gives them; the more they expect and the less they appreciate you and what you give them

avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
10 years ago
@Papi,

Very sound advice.

Thanks,
SJG
avatar for Papi_Chulo
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
Why do you keep offering dancers drinks?

You got burned by the first one; and then you turn around and ask the 2nd one if she also wants a drink; and get burned by the 2nd one also.


If you are trying to be “Mr. Nice Guy” and trying to get the dances to like you by offering them drinks as soon as they talk to you; you are going to keep being taken advantage of in the clubs.

The way I see it there are 2 choices:

1) keep buying dancers drinks but don’t get upset when you don’t get anything for it

2) be more judicious w.r.t. whom you buy drinks for and which dancers you interact w/ (or level of interaction you have w/ specific dancers)
avatar for ujay
ujay
10 years ago
Thanks Guys for the wonderful insight into this problem that seems to affect all of us. I appreciate the comments by Papi and Subraman. My take home message is: 1. Order drinks after the lap dance. If the dance is great, this will serve as a sort of compensation for the dancer, and may lead to an OTC experience.
2. If a drink must be ordered, I should be the one to place the order and know the price of the drink. This way, there are no hidden surprises.
avatar for HungryGiraffe
HungryGiraffe
10 years ago
I frequent nude NY and NJ clubs where alcohol isn't allowed. So I usually avoid the drink hustle. When visiting clubs where alcohol is served, I buy drinks as a matter of chivalry and to enjoy convo. I don't fret about paying for drinks. No big deal in the grand scheme of average visit spending. However, I typically turn down requests for drinks by strippers of no interest to me.
avatar for jester214
jester214
10 years ago
I used to occasionally buy them drinks when I was enjoying their company and they expressed an interest. Never when they or the waitress suggested it.

But after realizing how often they were spitting it into a chaser or just nursing them I realized they're usually just a giant waste of money.
avatar for rickdugan
rickdugan
10 years ago
Yes i buy drinks, but only for dancers that I have some interest in spending a little time with.

In my experience, most dancers and bartenders are a bit more cautious in pulling that shit when a customer is paying cash. I haven't put a cc down in a club in well over a decade and never will again, for reasons just like this. Most of the dancers that I deal with will ask if it's ok to get the double, or a redbull on top of a shot, and I am happy to oblige in most cases.

The one exception to this are the few places that I visit in the northeast which still do the mini-champagne bottle gimmick. Now yes, in one respect it pisses me off when I offer a drink and she orders the $20 kickback option, but it also tells me all that I need to know about her and may save me a lot of money in the long run, since the girls who do this don't get another nickel from me for anything.

I don't see much upside in making a big issue out of this. If there was another 0 on the end of that number I think differently, but fighting over the variance between what you should have been charged and what actually hit the tab - a $20 difference at most and probably less - seems kinda' silly unless you place a small value on your time and irritation levels. I would just chalk this up as a cheap lesson and move on.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
10 years ago
I'd be more inclined just to hand a dancer some cash when she sits with me, instead of offering to buy her a drink.

SJG
avatar for JohnSmith69
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
I think those may be the only two posts from SJG in a single thread that I have ever read in their entirety. Mom must've been calling him up for dinner.
avatar for bkkruined
bkkruined
10 years ago
I always ask how much something costs before I agree to it in a strip club.
It may seem kinda cheap, one week, a girl said it was $30, but she also offered $40 dances and we got 4 dances for $120. The next week, we went off and got 4 dances without asking about the price fist, sure enough, she expected $160.
I expect "lady drinks" to cost more than mine, and assume the club is taking that money. Most girls are happier to take that money themselves with a lapdance.
But, I live in Washington, where no alcohol is served in strip clubs, and I think even most of the dancers are pretty embassared about the idea of tricking you into paying the club $10 for her soda.
avatar for san_jose_guy
san_jose_guy
10 years ago
JS69, Does the staple in the center of your dream stripper ever interfere with your fantasies?

SJG
avatar for dw.buck
dw.buck
10 years ago
sometimes
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
Yes. In most clubs in Louisville, the only way to spend significant time with a dancer is to buy either drinks or dances. Mostly, I opt for dances, but occasionally I go for drinks if she's an in known quantity or I've already gotten my nut. It offers an extended time to discuss either or not I'll be getting some more personal attention.
avatar for GACA
GACA
10 years ago
Cant help but think that this sends strippers a billboard (fuck a sign) that the person who orders drinks is a fckn mark. The point to ordering a girl drinks is to eventually get them loose for some (non-paid-for) ass.

They know there's not a chance in hell they're planning on fckn so it only gives them the belief that you believe you might get fckd, and you do figuratively
avatar for georgmicrodong
georgmicrodong
10 years ago
@GACAclub: I've made plenty of deals for pussy over such drinks. It's just a cost of doing business in Louisville.
avatar for GACA
GACA
10 years ago
@GMD well then I stand corrected
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