Rethinking my motivation

Keep working on her Gawker, I am sure your charm and wit will win her over and you'll get the ultimate reward.

As long as both your big head and little head enjoy the visit with a performer it's a win in my book.

Gawker,

You've posted much about this ATF of yours. Lets talk about this first. You posted about sometime after she had her boob job and there being a ruckus, and police coming out and you telling them that you were a friend of the family. Well, if you really are their friend and you don't want to lose this, you should still be able to be friends. Just don't be giving her money. That's what I think it comes down to, just not giving her money anymore. If she accepts this, then yes she is your friend.

Now about other strippers, just from reading what is posted here on TUSCL, it is clear that people are using SC's in a variety of different ways. We have RickyBoyDugan, and his System. He doesn't seem to engage with the dancers much at all inside the club. I wonder how good his OTC adventures actually are. I wouldn't do what he does.

Then we have Mr. LDK who seems to just want the dancers to masturbate him so that he doesn't have to do it himself. There are lots of guys who seem to think like him.

Then we have the one I admire, Jestrite50,
https://www.tuscl.net/postread.php?PID=3…

I think there are a lot of guys who are more in Jestrite50's camp, just without actually going as far with the girl in the front room as he does. But I fully support Jestrite50's approach, and I think it is the obvious way if you want to get highly intimate with the girl. Make it happen with her in the front room. Doing it in front of the other dancers will only increase the effect that it has on her.

Anyway, SC's didn't use to be places which offered FS-ITC, and less of the dancers used to do FS-OTC.

Where I am, SC's are still for talking and flirting, and I have always both enjoyed and benefited from this.

I think I only take umbrage at some of the stuff I read here when it sounds like guys are treating dancers disrespectfully, or advancing an adversarial relationship with them. And a lot of the stuff posted here is like this.

Aided by insights offered me from a dancer, I came to the conclusion long ago that it is perverted to try and use SC's as your primary form of sexual gratification. It is perverted, not because of what you are doing, but because of what you are not doing. You are intentionally using the SC environment to limit how deeply you engage with the women.

So given this, how should they be used? I say that they are for partaking in a sexual aesthetic. This is what SC's and SC's alone offer, and it comes in a two basic forms. First of all you have young athletic hotties dolled up and putting on a show. I love this. Second, you have the fact that they are often able to be quite open, even physically open, with strangers. Partaking of this with them is sublime. It will change anybody to simply go and partake of this from time to time.

Someday I will have to tell the story of the extremely cute black girl I spotted on the street in San Francisco. There were lots of architecture offices in that area. I figured she worked in one of them, and was on her lunch break. So I discretely tailed her on foot, hoping I might be able to invite her to lunch. Man, was I ever wrong. She ducked into the New Century. So about an hour later I was watching her open tongue kissing this other girl up on stage. Then she was sitting on my lap and we were talking about how she was kissing this girl. And she was telling me how much she liked it. Then we were kissing.

This was a long long time ago, when there were not booths or back rooms and lap dancing meant sitting on laps, and before these places in SF became pricey clip joints. That she could be so open with a total stranger, changed my outlook on life completely. It set in motion changes in me which are still unfolding.

So then the best way to use SC's is to imbibe this sexual aesthetic, but then try to recreate it outside of the SC. So the SC is the temple, but then you go back and live your normal life. You find ways to make your ordinary life more like what you learned in the SC.

And then for some of us who feel a most strong attraction to it, there is the desire to know strippers, in some manner, outside of the club.

So given these two uses, a couple of facts become apparent. First of all since you are going to be taking what you learn and using it outside, or even knowing strippers outside, it doesn't really matter what they do or don't do in the club. And then second, since you are not going to be dependent on it for your regular sexual gratification, it doesn't really make that much difference how much it costs, since you won't be partaking very often.

For myself, I am going to have a rotating crew that is keeping me warm at nights. These will be women that I respect and care about. So given this, it really does not matter what does or does not happen in the SC's. Just so long as one is not being played for a chump in clip joints, as that would make me into a true PL. But I am not at this place yet of having that sort of outside life. The one who has this is Jestrite50, and I admire him greatly for this.

SJG

Monk's Dream
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zriS77PC…

You should do what you enjoy with this dancer. Of course, if you become her regular she is likely to be more willing to give you extras.

I think with some time this could turn into a nice relationship. You just have to keep showing her that you want her and work toward that goal and she will soon be giving you what you want. You need to respect her though and let it be what she wants don't force it just slowly break down her resistance to the point where she wants you. This is where heavy petting and DFKing seem to work for me along with verbal reinforcement by telling her how much you like her and how much you would enjoy fucking her. I just come right out and say it. It definitely gets their attention.

While penetration is the ultimate goal, there are lots of results that can be considered a success that fall short of that goal. Your experience certainly qualifies. I'd get tired of this girl eventually if things didn't advance, but for now she sounds like a fun option.

I'm like you, my goal is to have sex or get as close to it as I can when I enter a club... But moods can change... A few months ago I was in a detroit club expecting sex on a Saturday night - usually an easy goal to achieve. I met s beautiful dancer for the first time, we had a great conversation for an hour that cost me $0 and eventually we planned on going to VIP. She told me up front she was a "no extras" girl which I didn't even know existed in detroit. What followed was a very passionate dfk and hand roaming session. I never pushed her boundaries and I left satisfied. Did I cum? Did have sex? No and no but sometimes your mood will change and your willingness to achieve a certain goal may be lowered.

As for you, some guys go to strip clubs to fool around with someone other than their wife, you just want to fool around with someone other than your stripper. Not that much of a difference

Gawker, it's your time and money. Enjoy what you enjoy. Whether you are paying for sex or because some girl entertains you in some other way, so long as you feel like your time and money was well spent then fuck what anyone else thinks.