Seems to me that in strip clubs (and maybe alot of other places too) relationships often tend toward one of two extremes: adversarial and cooperative. In the adversarial relationship each party tries to get the most while giving the least. In a cooperative relationship each party tries to treat the other very well with the expectation that the other person will do the same. As long as both parties understand what's going on, either type relationship can work well. But it seems to me that a common tactic used in an adversarial relationship is to pretend that you want a cooperative one, and that's where a lot of resentments arise. I know a lot of guys who enjoy confrontation, especially with women, and therefore prefer the adversarial relationship in strip clubs. It's like a game to them who's object is seeing who can win. (Adversarial relationships tend to be win-lose while cooperative ones are usually viewed as win-win.) Personally I prefer the cooperative relationship better, I don't much enjoy confrontation. How about you?
Yoda, you would think that what you say in your last 2 sentences would be obvious to anyone who goes to an SC, yet it's amazing how many guys don't seem to get it.
Baddy and FONDL both have good points here. Some guys do adopt and a more adversarial point of view after being burned. I understand how it can happen but I think it takes a lot of the fun out of the SC experience. There will always be dancers who are out to fleece you. Experience is a valuable tool in learning how to avoid these types-there definitely are warning signs. It's also important to remember that a lot of guys get burned because they expected too much from the SC experience in the first place. SC's and dancers are there for entertainment. It's not a dating service and these women are not at work looking for Mr. Right. They are there to earn a living.
Baddy, I don't know what you do for a living, but in my world I've met lots of guys who will always have adversarial relationships every chance they get. They love the competition, life's a game to them, it's all about winning, it's an ego thing. I feel sorry for these guys because they miss so much and they're not aware of it. And they never will be. Whoever said that the meek will inherit the earth was right, it's already happened.
I don't think its that customers want to have adversarial relationships, I think it is a reaction/habit a lot of men form after having negative experiences with strippers. If you try to have a cooperative relationship with a dancer, where you are open with your time and money, a stripper can play along for the sole purpose of fleecing you and then hanging you out to dry. This in turn causes the customer to be more cautious, or adversial, with future dancers. I agree, a cooperative is best for both parties, but it just is not always doable when one person involved is looking for a quick score.
I think there are plenty of adversarial type customers out there and I would agree that, to some extent they give customers a bad name. However there are a lot of other contributing factors. I'm sure most of the adversarial guys would only favor tht sort of relationship if they where sure that they would come out on top.
Wow, I never expected it to be unanimous in favor of the win-win game. Which makes me wonder if maybe that's because we're all regular SC goers, and maybe it's the occasional customers who don't understand how SC's work that are the win-lose types. Seems to me there are a lot of very competitive guys out there who only enjoy winning when someone else loses. I'm wondering if it isn't these guys who give all customers a bad rap.
I don't even understand why someone would want to be in an adversarial relationship. I think of adversarial as being an enemy. I do not think of good thoughts toward enemies. Maybe a better word would be confrontational if someone likes those kind of relationships. I have seen a couple people who seem to thrive on confrontations. I can't say that anyone liked them though.
I would rather have the cooperative relationship because if there is a adversarial relationship, the dancer usually wins because they just screwed you out of your lapdance money.
FONDL: I think your assesment is pretty accurate-especialy when applied to SC's. I much prefer the cooperative relationship. This is one of the reasons I prefer older women and women from almost anywhere else in the world other than North America. I find most South American, Asian and Eastern European women to be cast in the "you scratch my back and I'll scratch yours" mold as opposed the the "give me all your money NOW" mold that many North American women exhibit.
I remember different pimps telling me that if I could be in their shoes that I'd jump at the opportunity as would any man. The fact is I have had the opportunity on more than a few occasions and wanted NO part of that type relationship even when I thought I could really help the girl. Taking money from a girl who is selling her body to pay me is too depressing even if I was offering her valuable services in return.
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I remember different pimps telling me that if I could be in their shoes that I'd jump at the opportunity as would any man. The fact is I have had the opportunity on more than a few occasions and wanted NO part of that type relationship even when I thought I could really help the girl. Taking money from a girl who is selling her body to pay me is too depressing even if I was offering her valuable services in return.
OTOH, I do believe 2 wrongs may make a right.