Take the F Train

jackslash
Detroit strip clubs
I spent most of August in New York, and I have some observations about strip clubbing in our biggest city.

Manhattan strippers are very attractive. They ranged from 7 to 10, and I saw none of the fatties or fuglies that can spoil your viewing pleasure in other locales.

The strippers are foreigners such as Columbians, Ukrainians, Russians, and Dominicans. Do any native born Americans strip in NYC?

The clubs were upscale, clean and safe. Like the rest of New York, the strip clubs in the last 25 years have lost their grittiness.

The clubs are very expensive. I avoided the outrageous cover charges by going in the daytime or by obtaining free passes from the clubs' websites.

Like everything else in NYC, drink prices were much higher than in the rest of the country. But the clubs had "happy hour" from noon till 4PM, which helped a lot. The one time I went to a club at night the drink prices nearly made me a teetotaler.

The lap dance areas are not private and they are patrolled by bouncers who make it a no fun zone. The girls will sit on your lap and grind on you, but you can't touch their goodies.

Dancers hinted that more fun could be had in the champagne room, but these rooms cost $500 to $600. I'm too cheap to pay that.

OTC must be available, but at a high price. I tried to persuade a hot blonde Columbian to go home with me. I started with a $500 offer and kept raising it until I reached $1000. She declined! In Detroit, $1000 would get me 3 strippers and a herd of sheep.

The best thing about clubbing in New York City was the subway. The subway is cheap and fast and efficient (although often too crowded). With the subway, you don't have to pay those annoying valet parking charges and you won't get arrested for DUI.



24 comments

Latest

motorhead
10 years ago
Did you say Ukrainians?

I'm booking my flight this afternoon.
motorhead
10 years ago
Good to have you back.
steve229
10 years ago
"I tried to persuade a hot blonde Columbian to go home with me."

Maybe she thought you wanted to bring her back to Detroit?
Dougster
10 years ago
Did you run RickyBoy's The System? Invented and perfected in NYC.
Dougster
10 years ago
Looks like the country is on the verge of an economic boom.

Things may start getting harder extraswise now. Not like around 2000 but the easiest of times may also be come to an end some day,
impala
10 years ago
Everything in NYC is expensive. Wether it in a SC, or just out in the city, if you want to do anything it is going to cost you a lot more than just about anywhere else in the country. Strip clubs are especially expensive, and because of the history they have had, are scrutinized and monitored VERY closely. From my observations that I have made though, clubs in surrounding areas are the beneficiaries of this. You can go just an hour or so out of the city into New Jersey, eastern Pennsylvania, Connecticut, or even upstate New York and your dollar will usually a lot further and usually you can get away with a lot more ( of coarse, it varies from club to club).
JohnSmith69
10 years ago
That's a very accurate summary of NYC clubs. I don't like them because they are all low mileage and very high cost, a lethal combination. Also I dont like the Russian and Eastern European girls. They look good but are arrogant and I've found a disproportionate number who were ROBs. I do very rarely find an American girl worth spending money on in NYC, but not often. Usually I just go to flash dancers and tip at the stage.
Otto22
10 years ago
Of course in Detroit some of the dancers look like they are part of a "herd of sheep". LOL.
SlickSpic
10 years ago
Jack, great to have you back. Quick question-Did anybody confuse you for Woody Allen?
GoVikings
10 years ago
Teetotaler? I had never heard that term before and had to look it up. jack and farmerart are always expanding my vocab! :)

I've never clubbed in NY, but I'm not surprised one bit that the dancers are extremely attractive. NY also has a vast variety of ethnicities, so no matter what type of dancer you like, I'm sure they've got it.
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
You should have SCed in the Bronx

P.S.
Nice to have you back – thought something had happened to you after your long TUSCL absence
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
BTW – Columbia is an Ivy League school – Colombia is the one w/ the hot Colombians (no ‘u’).
(unless you meant a hot blond from Columbia Univ :))
rickdugan
10 years ago
Manhattan clubs are designed to take large sums of cash off of high rollers and tourists. Fun can most definitely be had in the CRs, but it will cost you a fortune and you are SOL if you take the wrong girl back. A $600 room becomes a $1,000 room by the time you are done tipping everyone who has their hands out, including the dancer for whatever services she performed, the CR manager and even the waitress. It is a racket.

I rarely club anymore in Manhattan.

@motorhead: Cheetah and Sapphire in Manhattan, or Gallaghers in Long Island City, among other clubs, will offer you all the Eastern European girls you could ever want, including Ukrainian girls. I will tell you that the bonds of sisterhood among Eastern European strippers who are here are stronger than whatever divides the people back in the Ukraine. I was sitting with a Ukrainian stripper a couple of months ago and she spent some time talking about friends who are in the Ukrainian military and have been involved in this mess, but it wasn't impacting her (and other Ukrainian girls who she knew) relationship with the Russian girls. They still all live in the same areas and travel to the clubs in the same vans.
Dougster
10 years ago
So Manhattan is too tough a nut even for RickyBoy's The System to crack? That is saying something!
rickdugan
10 years ago
^^^ Au contraire monsieur Troll. Manhattan is very crack-able. The problem is the price tag on the nutcracker.

Clubbing in NYC is unlike clubbing anywhere else. In Manhattan, there are only 16 clubs in a place with millions of residents, business travelers, commuters who work in the city, and tourists, many of whom have high incomes. Jacklash nailed the pricing issues - the economics of these clubs are distorted as compared to clubs almost anywhere else, including the income expectations of club dancers.
Dougster
10 years ago
So, in other words, too tough a nut for The System to crack. Really were out of your league and just a poser all those years, weren't you, RickyBoy!
ploppocuss
10 years ago
Go to Gallaghers during the day- in Long Island City! Cheap beer specials, free buffet or lunch, $20 LDS!!!! and VIP. Never go anywhere else in NY.
Joe from NJ
10 years ago
NYC used to have great clubs many many years ago. Then mayor Giuliani got into office, and was determined to clean up NYC. So as part of his campaign, the SC were also included.
They have been bad since then. High $ for low mileage. Not worth it, so even thought I get into NYC a bunch, I no longer waste my money on NYC clubs.
jerikson40
10 years ago
Yeah, NYC is somewhere between suck-tastic and suck-tacular. The entire northest, with a few exceptions, is pretty useless in terms of strip clubs if you want mileage and value. I give Guiliani a lot of credit for his general NYC cleanup, but with strip clubs thats just going too far
Tiredtraveler
10 years ago
I have yet to be in a New Jersey club that is worth the cover. They are mostly low low contact, expensive bikini clubs. If anyone can direct me to a good high mileage club in Paterson NJ I would go check it out.
Papi_Chulo
10 years ago
“… Do any native born Americans strip in NYC …”

“… NYC used to have great clubs many many years ago. Then mayor Giuliani got into office, and was determined to clean up NYC. So as part of his campaign, the SC were also included.
They have been bad since then. High $ for low mileage. Not worth it, so even thought I get into NYC a bunch, I no longer waste my money on NYC clubs …”


Perhaps the 2nd statement answers the 1st – custies in the know, know to avoid NYC – so perhaps dancers in the know, know NYC is not worth it and thus only foreign dancers with not many options are the ones that take these dancing jobs?
AnonymousJim
10 years ago
"In Detroit, $1000 would get me 3 strippers and a herd of sheep."

In fairness, three strippers and a herd of sheep are all that's left in Detroit. OK, all that's left that isn't owned by Mike Ilitch or GM.
crazyjoe
10 years ago
This is the FUCK train?
rockstar666
8 years ago
You can't get a DUI in Manhattan; the drinks are too expensive, as you said! LOL Great article; tks for posting it.
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